A ? for men

D446

I understand how you feel. Because YOU don't find yourself attractive at this weight, you don't understand how he can. I feel exactly the same. But I know it is just an insecurity issue. My boyfriend tells me all the time that he thinks I'm beautiful, and he usually gets a blank stare in return lol, purely because I don't feel beautiful in myself. I know he means it, and I'm trying harder to take his compliments. You need to realise that he is being honest, he does think you are beautiful (which you are). It's a shame that a lot of women (including myself) place such an emphasis on our weight... I am sure that is not what he is thinking about when he compliments you.

_the_feniks_

To OP, absolutely, yes.

Razkler14

I think it depends on the age of the man too. Young men... say 20ish are still only interested in looks and weight most commonly. It takes years for them to get wise and realize what really matters and that a perfect body doesn't mean a perfect woman, infact quite the opposite. No matter your weight, if your a ***** you won't be "hot" for long.

I guess I should match this by saying same goes for us ladies... Of course a tight toned body is hot as hell but it can become unattractive just as fast as it got noticed by a bad attitude or horrible personality.

ladytinkerbell99

Beauty comes in all different shapes,sizes, and colors.

^Love this....
Too bad we do not see it more often. :flowerforyou:

joehempel

my fiance which i love very much seems to think im beautiful although im at least 40lbs over where i should be and i think hes crazy lol but i love him

Speaking as said fiance....I don't think you're beautiful, I KNOW you're beautiful. Where what a bunch of stupid numbers and algorithms say you should be and what you actually look like are two different things.

I see someone who is sleek and sexy, and has a beautiful face and a wonderful smile. I don't sit there and nit-pick on every little flaw that there is....because those flaws make you...YOU!

I always...ALWAYS tell you when you get down about the scale, or about how you perceive yourself "I wish you could look through my eyes and see what I see."

Everyone is always harder on themselves than others....but in my eyes, you've got NOTHING to worry about. Why do you think I go crazy over the pics you send me when you are showing me new clothes....or whatever?

I'm NOT crazy, you LOOK amazing! And when you couple that with your personality, and the way you treat me and your kids.....FIREWORKS!

crisanderson27

my fiance which i love very much seems to think im beautiful although im at least 40lbs over where i should be and i think hes crazy lol but i love him

Speaking as said fiance....I don't think you're beautiful, I KNOW you're beautiful. Where what a bunch of stupid numbers and algorithms say you should be and what you actually look like are two different things.

I see someone who is sleek and sexy, and has a beautiful face and a wonderful smile. I don't sit there and nit-pick on every little flaw that there is....because those flaws make you...YOU!

I always...ALWAYS tell you when you get down about the scale, or about how you perceive yourself "I wish you could look through my eyes and see what I see."

Everyone is always harder on themselves than others....but in my eyes, you've got NOTHING to worry about. Why do you think I go crazy over the pics you send me when you are showing me new clothes....or whatever?

I'm NOT crazy, you LOOK amazing! And when you couple that with your personality.....FIREWORKS!

This is what it's all about. Nothing else matters.

ChristineMarie89

my fiance which i love very much seems to think im beautiful although im at least 40lbs over where i should be and i think hes crazy lol but i love him

Speaking as said fiance....I don't think you're beautiful, I KNOW you're beautiful. Where what a bunch of stupid numbers and algorithms say you should be and what you actually look like are two different things.

I see someone who is sleek and sexy, and has a beautiful face and a wonderful smile. I don't sit there and nit-pick on every little flaw that there is....because those flaws make you...YOU!

I always...ALWAYS tell you when you get down about the scale, or about how you perceive yourself "I wish you could look through my eyes and see what I see."

Everyone is always harder on themselves than others....but in my eyes, you've got NOTHING to worry about. Why do you think I go crazy over the pics you send me when you are showing me new clothes....or whatever?

I'm NOT crazy, you LOOK amazing! And when you couple that with your personality, and the way you treat me and your kids.....FIREWORKS!

awwww babe yer the sweetest!!!! although i still dont get it at least u do

SCVSarah

my fiance which i love very much seems to think im beautiful although im at least 40lbs over where i should be and i think hes crazy lol but i love him

Speaking as said fiance....I don't think you're beautiful, I KNOW you're beautiful. Where what a bunch of stupid numbers and algorithms say you should be and what you actually look like are two different things.

I see someone who is sleek and sexy, and has a beautiful face and a wonderful smile. I don't sit there and nit-pick on every little flaw that there is....because those flaws make you...YOU!

I always...ALWAYS tell you when you get down about the scale, or about how you perceive yourself "I wish you could look through my eyes and see what I see."

Everyone is always harder on themselves than others....but in my eyes, you've got NOTHING to worry about. Why do you think I go crazy over the pics you send me when you are showing me new clothes....or whatever?

I'm NOT crazy, you LOOK amazing! And when you couple that with your personality, and the way you treat me and your kids.....FIREWORKS!

Thank you to all the wonderful men that replied about their beautiful woman. Wish there were more of you out here in California.

stevewynjones

There are some sexy skinny girls & sexy fat girls......

It's not all about size...

Billywoo

If he's gonna marry you, He's in love with you. If he's in love with you, he's also in love with your beauty/appearance. In that case, you have nothing to worry about. If you lose the 20 pounds, that would probibly be ideal for you (for your wedding) if thats what you were when you guy's met. You have some time before your wedding and using THIS tool, that is an easy accomplishment. Anything more than 20 pounds, he may not even find attractive anyway's. Your gonna marry the guy, why don't you ask him. lol

FoodieGal09

My boyfriend has lost a lot of weight since we met, he looks completely different.
Do I find him sexy/attractive now? Yes!
But obviously I found him sexy and attractive when we met, or I wouldn't have started going out with him.
I've gone the opposite direction and put on weight since we met. Does he love me and find me attractive? Yes, he tells me so everyday. He would never, ever tell me I look unattractive or could stand to lose a "few" pounds-he knows I've had horrible experiences with a past boyfriend who did those things.
But does he want me to be healthy? Of course. Would he be upset if I got down to 135? No. He knows, just like I do, that when I am happy with my weight, I'll be more confident and he wants me to be happy.
So I would say that while my boyfriend has no complaints about the way I look, ultimately he wants me to be happy with myself-if I wanted to stop losing weight now, he would be ok with that.

PoeRaven

I believe that a man that based his feelings for a woman on how much extra padding she has is one shallow male indeed. I believe this to be true the other way around as well...women who base their feelings on a guy solely on his looks and body image is completely superficial. How would a relationship whose foundation is built on looks ever survive?
When it comes to matters of the heart, looks aren't everything.

TheRoadDog

My fiance' says he thinks I am sexy now..But I know I am 50 pounds over what I should be and I think he is just being nice. I don't think there is any possible way that he could find me beautiful.. Could men really find a fat woman attractive? I am being for real! Thanks

Sexy does not have a physical description. It's how he feels about you.

xoalyssaox

Honestly, Sexy, love, attractiveness, infatuation for me come with the connection I have with my wife. It doesn't matter to me if she gains or loses weight. I love her for who she is. not what she is outside. I think for most guys it is very cut and dried. all in or all out.

I probably should have stated this in my OP, but I used to be married to a literal sociopath. He fits every single criteria for a sociopath. So with that, he abused me mentally, verbally, and sometimes physically. Told me I was fat every single day and told me he didn't even enjoy sex with me because I am so gross. He told me if I left him no man would ever want me. I eventually grew strong enough and left, but the things he say haunt me. Your post really brought to my attention that your right, I do have a connection with my fiance that is so strong. I know he loves me, I just need to believe that he thinks I am beautiful even if I do not. Thanks for your reply!

BrettPGH

Honestly, Sexy, love, attractiveness, infatuation for me come with the connection I have with my wife. It doesn't matter to me if she gains or loses weight. I love her for who she is. not what she is outside. I think for most guys it is very cut and dried. all in or all out.

I probably should have stated this in my OP, but I used to be married to a literal sociopath. He fits every single criteria for a sociopath. So with that, he abused me mentally, verbally, and sometimes physically. Told me I was fat every single day and told me he didn't even enjoy sex with me because I am so gross. He told me if I left him no man would ever want me. I eventually grew strong enough and left, but the things he say haunt me. Your post really brought to my attention that your right, I do have a connection with my fiance that is so strong. I know he loves me, I just need to believe that he thinks I am beautiful even if I do not. Thanks for your reply!

Good news! You lost a jerk and gained a wonderful man. Congratulations, you win at life! Now start accepting it, that part's important.

He wouldn't be with you if he wasn't attracted to you. And read what that man wrote! You lucked out girl, now go appreciate the F outta that guy!

xoalyssaox

You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! I have learned so much from all the men (and women), who replied in this post. Your right, I need to stop hounding my fiance all the time and fishing for compliments and just start appreciating the good thing I have.

Honestly, Sexy, love, attractiveness, infatuation for me come with the connection I have with my wife. It doesn't matter to me if she gains or loses weight. I love her for who she is. not what she is outside. I think for most guys it is very cut and dried. all in or all out.

I probably should have stated this in my OP, but I used to be married to a literal sociopath. He fits every single criteria for a sociopath. So with that, he abused me mentally, verbally, and sometimes physically. Told me I was fat every single day and told me he didn't even enjoy sex with me because I am so gross. He told me if I left him no man would ever want me. I eventually grew strong enough and left, but the things he say haunt me. Your post really brought to my attention that your right, I do have a connection with my fiance that is so strong. I know he loves me, I just need to believe that he thinks I am beautiful even if I do not. Thanks for your reply!

Good news! You lost a jerk and gained a wonderful man. Congratulations, you win at life! Now start accepting it, that part's important.

He wouldn't be with you if he wasn't attracted to you. And read what that man wrote! You lucked out girl, now go appreciate the F outta that guy!

djsupreme6

fellas just like women period lol...if your man calls you sexy then he definitely means it cause if he didn't..you'd know for sure...as far as physical appearance..sure..there are lots who are considered shallow but its really only their own preference...contrary to popular belief..all guys aren't the same lol...curves..oh yes...guys love curves especially if they're in the right places...weight and sexy don't really sync up right...females can be thin and sexy or they can by curvy and sexy...more personality based...there are lots of beautiful women out there of many sizes..but there aren't as many sexy women

megalin9

my fiance which i love very much seems to think im beautiful although im at least 40lbs over where i should be and i think hes crazy lol but i love him

Speaking as said fiance....I don't think you're beautiful, I KNOW you're beautiful. Where what a bunch of stupid numbers and algorithms say you should be and what you actually look like are two different things.

I see someone who is sleek and sexy, and has a beautiful face and a wonderful smile. I don't sit there and nit-pick on every little flaw that there is....because those flaws make you...YOU!

I always...ALWAYS tell you when you get down about the scale, or about how you perceive yourself "I wish you could look through my eyes and see what I see."

Everyone is always harder on themselves than others....but in my eyes, you've got NOTHING to worry about. Why do you think I go crazy over the pics you send me when you are showing me new clothes....or whatever?

I'm NOT crazy, you LOOK amazing! And when you couple that with your personality, and the way you treat me and your kids.....FIREWORKS!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, gosh!

I struggle with the OP's same insecurities, but my husband says I'm beautiful and sexy just the way I am. He begs me to believe him and be more confident (especially with wearing lingerie, which I'm scared to death of). He has said to me that it wouldn't matter if I weighed 300+lbs, he would love me the same and still want to sleep with me if I were the same girl. On the other hand, if I were depressed and bitter and angry and had just completely let myself go, he wouldn't find that attractive (I appreciate his honesty). He wants me to lose weight because that's what *I* want, but it doesn't matter to him. In fact, it's really 100% about personality, confidence, how I treat him, what kind of mom/wife I am, etc., because he's even said that he's a little leary about me losing weight for fear that I will "change." I know without a doubt that I am doing this for ME, and he's given me the freedom to do so. I feel no pressure from him whatsoever to look a certain way, and that gives me a tons of confidence. I also know, like someone else posted, that he will love me and desire me more for doing this for myself.

chrishgt4

My fiance' says he thinks I am sexy now..But I know I am 50 pounds over what I should be and I think he is just being nice. I don't think there is any possible way that he could find me beautiful.. Could men really find a fat woman attractive? I am being for real! Thanks

It is all personal preference at the end of the day.

Also there isn't some magical barrier between finding someone hot and not finding them hot. I've gone out with some very hot girls who could have changed things and made them look 'better', but would I have found them more attractive? Probably not.

xoalyssaox

Thank you so much every one for your kind words. I need to start believing him and accepting myself. New goal for this month

hauntgoddess

I think guys are more attracted to big breasted women that overturns whether the chick is overweight/in shape/etc...

Unfortunately I'm not blessed with that, so matter how much I weigh I don't find myself attractive.

askme12

Could men really find a fat woman attractive?

Yes

ItsMeRebekah

My fiance' says he thinks I am sexy now..But I know I am 50 pounds over what I should be and I think he is just being nice. I don't think there is any possible way that he could find me beautiful.. Could men really find a fat woman attractive? I am being for real! Thanks

Looking at your pictures, i'm trying to figure out where you see yourself as "fat" in the first place. Look pretty normal to me, and curves are a lot sexier than bones. All this here should pretty much answer your question.

thats how he got the name "realdeal" baby!

HauteP1nk

Of course!

Different strokes for different folks!

tiamaria3

There are men who find overweight women attractive.

yep yep ALOT of men out there find overweight women attractive...

Newhampshireboy

bigger women are sexy more curves

horndave

outward looks are such a small amount to the actual total package of what makes a woman sexy. obviously you have what it takes for your BF.

To answer your question. Yes men find overweight women attractive. But I think the most important part for me is having my woman as happy as she can be. I will help her, support her and be there with any decision she will make.

sjeagle30

Like many other posters said..most men that I know do not like skinny women. They like curves, confidence and a sexy attitude. My bf always tells me I am perfect and I honestly believe he means it. He thinks I am sexy as I am now and Im sure he will feel the same when I get to a more healthy weight. Society has us believing that in order to be attractive you have to be a size zero and that is just not appealing to a lot of people. I also dont like skinny men so I find it believable that many men dont like skinny women. Someone on another thread awhile back said it best when they said a beautiful women with big boobs walking down the street attracts attention and turns heads but so does a clown walking down the street. It doesnt mean that is what men want even if they look

AlbaAngel25

I was about 145 when I met hubby, and then i had the baby and bla bla bla. He always loved my big ol booty. Even tho i gained quite a bit of weight during pregnancy(my own bad) he still finds me attractive and beautiful, and says he just wants to see me comfortable and carefree again.

horndave

I think guys are more attracted to big breasted women that overturns whether the chick is overweight/in shape/etc...

Unfortunately I'm not blessed with that, so matter how much I weigh I don't find myself attractive.

I can say you are wrong in both sentences.