People who complain they're fat but do nothing about it

13

Replies

  • Zero2hero2013
    Zero2hero2013 Posts: 458
    you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink :-)
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink :-)

    Whoa there! Who you calling a horse?!?!


    :laugh: :wink: :laugh: :wink: :laugh: :wink:
  • GeneveSparkles
    GeneveSparkles Posts: 283 Member

    Bad news doll. You're complaining about her. Let it go, nobody's perfect.

    I'm not complaining Doll. I'm asking for insight on a specific situation in a social forum that promotes dialogue and discussion. If it wasn't for postings that bring up debatable discussions, forums would cease to exist :)

    Then why aren't you letting it go? You've gotten people's opinions on both sides. Isn't that what you wanted?

    Because as the OP I like to respond to people and not just post topics without being an active participant. Furthermore I don't know what gave you the impression that I'm not "letting it go." Yes people have given their opinions and as always I'm happy about that, I like to grow and learn by knowing what other people opine about social situations. But don't get me wrong, if someone is going to approach me with snark and sarcasm I'm not going to just ignore it.
  • Charliesuccess
    Charliesuccess Posts: 181 Member
    She's just not ready yet, or really doesnt quite understand yet, hopefully one day soon she will get it!
  • GeneveSparkles
    GeneveSparkles Posts: 283 Member
    I would probably have quoted the research:

    'Research has proven that we over estimate our exercise and eat too much in response, so controlling calorie input is the only option.'

    (Rephrased to fit social situation ;) ).


    Aka - get an HRM and use MFP to track your calories! :) That should be on a tshirt!

    LIKE :)
    Had I felt she would have been receptive I def would have told her about MFP
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member

    Bad news doll. You're complaining about her. Let it go, nobody's perfect.

    I'm not complaining Doll. I'm asking for insight on a specific situation in a social forum that promotes dialogue and discussion. If it wasn't for postings that bring up debatable discussions, forums would cease to exist :)

    Then why aren't you letting it go? You've gotten people's opinions on both sides. Isn't that what you wanted?

    Because as the OP I like to respond to people and not just post topics without being an active participant. Furthermore I don't know what gave you the impression that I'm not "letting it go." Yes people have given their opinions and as always I'm happy about that, I like to grow and learn by knowing what other people opine about social situations. But don't get me wrong, if someone is going to approach me with snark and sarcasm I'm not going to just ignore it.


    I think you need a flower. :flowerforyou:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I'm not complaining Doll. I'm asking for insight on a specific situation in a social forum that promotes dialogue and discussion. If it wasn't for postings that bring up debatable discussions, forums would cease to exist :)
    Are you asking about how to get her to debate? A person's struggle with their weight is the most personal of all, more personal than politics and religion. While I would be willing to debate with someone over nutrition and exercise topics, I would not want to debate (especially in the gym in front of other people) my personal struggles. Maybe someday I will be able to, but certainly not yet. Some days I get frustrated and complain about how slow my loss is. Some days I get frustrated about irritating people at work, etc. Sometimes, people just need to vent. I still stand by my stance that, by being in the gym she is doing something about her weight. She isn't doing nothing. She has to figure out what she is willing to do to lose it.
  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
    I can't eat vegetables due to a medical condition and I still manage.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    She is in the gym locker room so it's safe to assume she was using the gym equipment, which is doing something about it. Maybe it's not exactly what you're doing, maybe she is doing some things wrong but at least she is trying. Stop being so judgmental.
  • Jennjenn1974
    Jennjenn1974 Posts: 350 Member
    Just because you are "at the gym" doesn't necessisarily mean you are doing anything worthwhile. She could be there for appearances. There were several girls that attended my gym who where just there to get noticed by guys or so they could say "I went to the gym today".
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    I change my opinion. The next time any of us hear a person complain, we should be them to death with a stalk of celery.
  • krnlcsf
    krnlcsf Posts: 310
    I think those who really achieve weight loss have a trigger or turning point that fuels the internal fire to get out of their comfort zone and make the necessary changes. I was complacent about my weight and fitness level for years because as far as i could tell my clothes still fit, so i couldn't have been THAT big. But eventually enough was enough and here I am now 30 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight.
    Just as everyone matures at their own pace (or for some not at all), so too do people reach these kind of life-changing moments at their own pace. It has to happen on their terms when they're ready to be dedicated to it. So you offered her advice... maybe it just needs to process in her brain for a while and then she'll eventually give it a whirl! :)
  • LauraSmyth28
    LauraSmyth28 Posts: 399 Member
    Me and my best friend both made the same new years resolutions, to lose weight. She had more to lose than me (around 50lbs more). We were both doing good for January, and we were on similar tracks weight-loss wise. She was going to WW and I was using MFP.

    She gave up in February, while I kept going.

    We were out together in March, and while drunk she said to me "it's just not fair how you lose weight so easily". WTF? I do NOT lose weight easily, I have worked hard for every single lb lost.

    She asked me what works for me, I told her my Jillian Michaels dvds and MFP. I loaned her the 30 Day Shred and told her how to join up here. Has she done either? NOPE!

    So from now on I'm just keeping my weight loss to myself. And only if someone asks specifically for advice will they get it from me.
  • phillbis
    phillbis Posts: 353 Member
    I was one of those people. I used to complain I was fat and would do nothing about it. I just figured well, I'm fat so maybe I'll just be a fat person the rest of my life. I finally decided the reason I was fat was because I made the decision to be fat. I finally got off my *kitten* and am doing something about it.

    You have to be honest with yourself and stop making excuses. Also, you have to reach that point where you want to do something about it. Maybe the person in the OP hasn't reached that point or realization yet.
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink :-)

    I always heard it: "you can lead a horse to water, but just remember what a wet horse smells like." But then, that was from people with horses... nevermind.
  • FreeThotStrm
    FreeThotStrm Posts: 40
    I think the real point is that "doing something" and "doing nothing" is all a matter of opinion. I think girls who use pink five pound dumbbells aren't doing anything worthwhile, but I'm not going to give them **** when they don't see results, or when they lose weight from dieting and then put it back on because they haven't gained any muscle. In her head she's doing what she needs. When it doesn't work maybe she'll realize she needs a new plan.
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 567 Member
    I have encountered this a few times. If after talking to them I come to find that they are not willing to put in effort, or change their eating habits I just point it out. I tell em: "You don't eat well, and you are not ready to make a change, I get it"

    Makes em think.

    And..it works.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Everyone who has ever been overweight has at one point complained that they were fat but did nothing about it.

    Including you.

    Maybe she will get the motivation someday like you did.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    Sounds a lot like my father here. He complains about how badly his body aches and how he really needs to lose some weight. I've offered to walk with him and have discussed maybe tweaking his eating habits, which usually consists of a heavy breakfast, all day snacking on sweets, and lastly followed by a heavy dinner (pizza, frozen pot pies, etc.) along with a few alcoholic beverages and even more snacking. Whenever I bring up MFP or the gym to him, there's always four generic excuses. It's cliche'.:

    1) 'I'm 63-years-old! I'm not as young as you are!'

    2) 'I don't eat a lot! Besides, I still weigh less than you!'

    3) 'My knees hurt! You realize I'm an old man, right?'

    or....

    4) 'I get a LOT of exercise taking your grandmother to the grocery store.'

    After this I just pretty much throw in the towel and call it quits.. but then a few days later you'll still hear him walking around the house or see him standing in the mirror trying to suck in his gut and going, 'I need to lose some weight!'.
    It isn't even because of his physical build that has me worried.. just that he's older, and has tons of joint and overall health issues.

    'Excuses are tools of incompetence that build monuments of nothingness...'
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Everyone who has ever been overweight has at one point complained that they were fat but did nothing about it.

    Including you.

    Maybe she will get the motivation someday like you did.

    Not me, the day I had permission to start working out again after my accident, I was there. In fact, I used to sneak workouts when I thought I could get away with it.
  • emmamcc1981
    emmamcc1981 Posts: 133 Member
    sounds like a waste of gym membership money to me - but people do what they will, not alot you can do about it. xx
  • Tzippy7
    Tzippy7 Posts: 344 Member
    That's the classic situation - as a guy I've experienced it a million times with girls. What's one of the major rules - when a girl complains she doesn't want you to tell her how to fix her problem, she just wants to ***** about it.

    Sounds like you offered enough advice to be helpful but not push it. After that it's on her. Some people like to be unhappy about something.

    People often know what they need to do but they want to vent about the situation first.
  • sdrawkcabynot
    sdrawkcabynot Posts: 462 Member
    I would probably have quoted the research:

    'Research has proven that we over estimate our exercise and eat too much in response, so controlling calorie input is the only option.'

    (Rephrased to fit social situation ;) ).


    Aka - get an HRM and use MFP to track your calories! :) That should be on a tshirt!

    LIKE :)
    Had I felt she would have been receptive I def would have told her about MFP

    If she feels like she can openly complain, you have the right to openly give your opinion. If anything - if she doesn't like it - she won't complain to you anymore :D.

    I don't eat awesome ALL the time - but I do watch my sodium and still enjoy eating out occasionally... but I will be the first to throw out my opinion when someone says "I just had a salad"... Most salads are built to house as many calories as a cheeseburger... *smh*...

    PS - to the person that keeps talking about the OP "not letting it go"... it's her board... we all get worked up over different aspects in life - let her vent and have her fun.
  • Tzippy7
    Tzippy7 Posts: 344 Member
    Trying to lose weight is very frustrating though, it might be a defense mechanism. I know I was frustrated that i gained 45 lbs while working out 6 days a week. People just gave me advice I was already taking, so you never really know what somones story is.
  • emmamcc1981
    emmamcc1981 Posts: 133 Member
    My family always complained to me how I had a 'naturally high metabolism'. I exercised every day, I was a dancer, I ate better. They drank several glasses of pop a day, had large meals smothered in bad things that would impress truckers , and always ended up having snacks that equaled meals at night, with no exercise.

    OMG, are you me?

    lol Seriously describes my very overweight family

    and me. i did sports at school, swimming, horseriding, gymnastics - you name it. they would always ***** and snipe about how unfair it was i could eat what i wanted and not gain a lb. but they were fat and lazy and ate like pigs. and then after i left school i turned into a fat lazy pig just like them. lucky for *my* girls i'm back to being sporty and active and teaching them to have healthy attitudes to food.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    I can't eat vegetables due to a medical condition and I still manage.

    Are you my forum stalker? lol
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Not me, the day I had permission to start working out again after my accident, I was there. In fact, I used to sneak workouts when I thought I could get away with it.

    Congratulations on being you.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Not me, the day I had permission to start working out again after my accident, I was there. In fact, I used to sneak workouts when I thought I could get away with it.

    Congratulations on being you.

    Congrats on being you too!!!
  • strunkm4
    strunkm4 Posts: 265 Member
    I live by the motto "you can't help someone else if they are not willing to help themselves". I let them ***** all the want and ignore it, because if they aren't doing anything to help themselves, why should i?
  • Rhea30
    Rhea30 Posts: 625 Member
    I have complained about my weight before but mainly when its because I have done something which I thought would help it and didn't see results after the effort put in. I understand your point though and don't get either, I've seen people who complain about their weight but just don't want to do anything about it, then again they might had before and maybe just to a point where they have given up and don't feel it matters anymore. I've been close to that point but was lucky I got some insightful tips from some people, if I hadn't I probably would had given up and just figure 'this is it' and continue to complain. I think its nice that you try to give her advice since sometimes people do need that because they might be ignorant towards the subject but sad she didn't take in anything you had said :(
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