People who complain they're fat but do nothing about it

kritik

I've discovered that some people are just natural complainers. They really don't want your help,or your advice. They just want to complain. And, they aren't happy until the everybody is as miserable as themselves. I think that you gave her great advice, and if she takes it great. If not, that's her problem.

dylan1mary

I feel like this is a perfect situation where you can motivate another as well as yourself . Congratulate her on the weight she has lost and tell her she will get there and that she is doing a great job by being in the gym in the first place! That will keep you happy and it will help her keep on track. It has been my experience that women just need to vent sometimes, but if you pay them a compliment they perk right up, unless they are unhappy with the world and in that case think of her next time you attend a kick it class or need some motivation!

misticache

I complain all the time about my weight to whoever asks and is willing to listen. haha Seriously, I have people like this in my life and you can only offer advice and in the end it's on them. Yes I complain but I mostly yell at myself because I am to blame for my diabetes, cholesterol, blood pressure, obesity. I complain to my family and friends because sometimes you just need to vent and they will offer advice or tips. But what you did was good. She only has herself to blame. She obviously is just complaining to hear herself talk and doesn't really want support.

thekacers

In the gym locker room the other day this girl was complaining that the scale “loves to hate” her (she’s only lost 4 lbs since January). Being the helpful person I am I asked her if she was watching her calories, she said no. I told her I’ve lost almost 15 lbs in since Jan. by exercising AND counting cals and that it was hard but worth it. She basically told me she has no desire to change her eating habits and that she hates vegetables. I told her there were so many veggies out there and so many ways to cook them, but she wasn’t having any of it. I didn’t push the issue any further because if people don’t want to change they won’t. But why complain about something you have the ability to change but aren’t doing anything about it. It’s very frustrating to me. No matter what weight I’ve been at I’ve never complained about my weight because I’ve always known it’s my responsibility to do something about it. How does everyone else feel about people we complain about their weight but take no initiative or responsibility for it?

My best friend (a guy!) is like this... regularly complaining about what he looks like and how much he hates how big he has gotten. I've been hearing his rants for a year, but nothing his lifestyle hasn't changed. Yeah, it is kind of annoying to listen to him, especially cause the answer is always so simple. Eat less, move more. But some people just aren't there yet, and they don't necessarily want advice, they just want someone to listen.
It's taken me a long time to get where I am today - ready and willing to do something to improve my life. I've complained a lot in the past, just because it's so easy to hate yourself about being overweight and there are those times when I've felt out of control... like I literally couldn't do it. It's all just excuses, I realize now... but you have to be ready.
You know that she won't lose weight continuing on the path she is on, and she knows it too (deep down), but it's easier to make excuses. Just gotta shrug your shoulders and move on.

Ahluvly

Some people just like a good whinge!

Ultimately it boils down to this, we are all in charge of our decisions. We always have a choice in what we do, we may not like the options, but we always have them.

My advice to you is to let it go over your head, it's her problem not yours and, if you speak to her again and she starts to moan, then perhaps say to her you are not interested in listening to her moaning when she can make a change in her life yet refuses to do so. Perhaps that sounds *****y but really, who wants to flog a dead horse?

Weight management really is 80% diet and 20% exercise. People lose weight quite easily without exercise, but, are they toned, are they fit....are they even bothered?! The exercise really does boil down to personal preference. However, eat rubbish, the wrong amounts of food (too much) or not enough then you're going to struggle. Cr@p in, cr@p out!

tig_ol_bitties

She was at the gym, so I wouldn't say that she is "doing nothing about it" as your thread title states. That is a HELL of a lot more than MANY people do. So she isn't watching her diet. So what? Why does that concern you? Change, especially lifestyle changes, take time. She may not be ready to jump full into it just yet. She may be afraid of the change deep down, but she is starting, and that's all that matters. Not that it should matter to you because it STILL doesn't concern you.

sdrawkcabynot

People complain just to complain... people are lazy. I usually try to ignore them or just tell them they need to research what they are doing wrong. It worked for me, and I love motivating people - my biggest pet peeve is when people compliment me and follow up with "I wish I was as motivated as you..."... YOU CAN BE! It's not easy... but becomes a way of life. *steps down off soap box*

HealthyBodySickMind

Sounds like you offered enough advice to be helpful but not push it. After that it's on her. Some people like to be unhappy about something.

It seems like every time I see you post something, I disagree. But that's fine, diversity is a good thing. I actually like having people around I disagree with because it starts an internal dialogue for me on why I disagree with what they are saying. From a philosophical standpoint, people I disagree with are essential to my life.

Although, I feel like I don't agree with you on much, here on the boards, haha, I'll back this up. There are people in this world who are just not happy unless they have something complain about. "I'm only happy when it rains..."

Would you look at what you've done - made me look at your old posts to see if we had argued about something...lol...randomly I found myself agreeing with most of the comments you made... I'm not sure what that means...

I think it probably means that we can be friends either way, haha. It's not like I've seen you around on the forums much, just here and there.

Oishii

I would probably have quoted the research:

'Research has proven that we over estimate our exercise and eat too much in response, so controlling calorie input is the only option.'

(Rephrased to fit social situation ).

adrian_indy

Who knows what people are thinking? Most of us on here have now taken the time to research weight loss and now know the generally accepted, eat balanced, exercise, sleep and hydrate is the best way for most of us. She could be ignorant of how to lose weight the most successful way. From my own personal experience, back in 2009 I worked for the post office as a city carrier off and on for a year. My route was almost 9 miles walking. I would do that route, hit the gym sometimes after work....and never lost a pound. She's in the gym, she's taken the first step. My guess is she will get angry soon and either quit, or get educated. You did the right thing, try to be helpful, but not pushy and leave it at that.

BrettPGH

I get what everyone is saying about the fact that she IS doing something, you’re absolutely correct. And I did give her props for getting to the gym. But if you know you’re not doing everything you can to better yourself, then don’t complain about it when you don’t see results. I didn’t ask for her weight-loss stats or asked her how her journey was going, she freely offered it up to me. Maybe it was more the complaining part that frustrates me, people who complain about anything in general annoy me. Complain all you like, just not to me LOL.

Bad news doll. You're complaining about her. Let it go, nobody's perfect.

GeneveSparkles

She was at the gym, so I wouldn't say that she is "doing nothing about it" as your thread title states. That is a HELL of a lot more than MANY people do. So she isn't watching her diet. So what? Why does that concern you? Change, especially lifestyle changes, take time. She may not be ready to jump full into it just yet. She may be afraid of the change deep down, but she is starting, and that's all that matters. Not that it should matter to you because it STILL doesn't concern you.

Please see above post where I specifically addressed this

GeneveSparkles

I'm not complaining Doll. I'm asking for insight on a specific situation in a social forum that promotes dialogue and discussion. If it wasn't for postings that bring up debatable discussions, forums would cease to exist

GeneveSparkles

Bad news doll. You're complaining about her. Let it go, nobody's perfect.

I'm not complaining Doll. I'm asking for insight on a specific situation in a social forum that promotes dialogue and discussion. If it wasn't for postings that bring up debatable discussions, forums would cease to exist

tig_ol_bitties

Bad news doll. You're complaining about her. Let it go, nobody's perfect.

I'm not complaining Doll. I'm asking for insight on a specific situation in a social forum that promotes dialogue and discussion. If it wasn't for postings that bring up debatable discussions, forums would cease to exist

Then why aren't you letting it go? You've gotten people's opinions on both sides. Isn't that what you wanted?

Yanicka1

Warning broad generalisation!!!

Many women just want to complain, it help deal with frustrations. Lol we often complain that men don't listen to us when they offer solutions to our problems.

People will get there when they are ready

sdrawkcabynot

I would probably have quoted the research:

'Research has proven that we over estimate our exercise and eat too much in response, so controlling calorie input is the only option.'

(Rephrased to fit social situation ).

Aka - get an HRM and use MFP to track your calories! That should be on a tshirt!

Changing__Christina

She is complaining about not wanting to change her eating habits and you are complaining about her not doing enough to better herself. Other people are complaining about hating that people don't eat right or exercise enough, or smoke while in the gym parking lot. Some people (ME) are complaining about people complaining all the time! When are we going to stop worrying about everyone else's failures and start focusing on our own success! I mean really! I don't care if someone eats like *kitten*. Its their own business. If they want to lose weight, they will get it eventually. If they don't get it...they will stay fat. That is their own business and not mine to judge. IMHO!

FreeThotStrm

I complained about it for the longest time and just couldn't get up the motivation to do anything about it. It may take her awhile - sometimes it has to "click" first.

This. I was one of those girls in the gym but not eating well and complaining about my weight. It wasn't until I had my daughter and had a reason to be HEALTHY that I finally decided to change my diet.

jaxbeck

My family always complained to me how I had a 'naturally high metabolism'. I exercised every day, I was a dancer, I ate better. They drank several glasses of pop a day, had large meals smothered in bad things that would impress truckers , and always ended up having snacks that equaled meals at night, with no exercise.

OMG, are you me?

lol Seriously describes my very overweight family