cheating and in-love, mutually exclusive or no?

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love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
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Can you cheat on someone you love? Or is that NOT love at all? Discuss. :)
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  • Nelski
    Nelski Posts: 1,607 Member
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    You would think that if you really love someone that you would NEVER do something like that, but I still think it happens.
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,073 Member
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    Love is too complicated and fluid to draw black and white conclusions. And anyone who says you can't love more than one person is just lucky enough not to have been caught in the situation.
  • Green_eyed_beauty
    Green_eyed_beauty Posts: 101 Member
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    I've been cheated on physically and emotionally and my soon-to-be ex husband but he still claims he loves me. When things were really bad, I cheated too. I still "love" him... but the love had changed and we haven't been "In-love" for years (3 of the 7 we've been married). I love him as a person and a friend, but not as a spouse.

    That's the difference, if your "in-love" cheating doesn't happen... so to answer your question, yes you can cheat and love someone.
  • SirBen81
    SirBen81 Posts: 396 Member
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    Can you cheat on someone you love? Or is that NOT love at all? Discuss. :)

    You can cheat anyone. Are you asking if it is moral or possible?
  • sjeagle30
    sjeagle30 Posts: 292 Member
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    I think if you are truly and completely in love then there is no way or reason you would cheat. I feel that if you cheat, you want to be with the other person more than the one you are with.....so just end it. Why cheat and break someones heart and make a fool out of them. Sure you can love more than one person but I dont think you can be "in love" with more than one person. Staying faithful is a choice and im sure a challenge to many people but nobody said relationships are easy. For better or worse doesnt mean...or until something hotter or more attractive comes along.
  • NYCDutchess
    NYCDutchess Posts: 622 Member
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    I think if you really love someone, you can't cheat because you know you will hurt them.

    Maybe you're not "IN LOVE" but you love on some level. Not enough though to be in a committed relationship.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I think you can. It's possible to truly love more than one person. It's also possible to love one person, but find some kind of animal desire with another. Our system of monogamy is silly. I don't think it truly reflecst actual human behavior, for the most part. If we would open up more about this, I think people in general would be happier. If we viewed each other as sexual beings with the possibility that an encounter does not mean betrayal and mistrust, then it would be a happier world overall. And, I really don't think "cheating" would increase at all. I know people in open relationships and they hardly ever have encounters outside their relationship. Almost never, to be honest. So, I really don't think it's a big deal.

    After saying all that, I don't know if I could handle knowing my girl is out boinking some dude. So, I'm part of the problem I speak of. Lol. But, I recognize it.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    I think that if you're cheating on someone, you might have love FOR That person, but you're not IN love with them.
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
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    I don't see why not. After all, there are countless definitions or types of love.

    It's especially easy to cheat when, like me, you're only in love with yourself.
    -wtk
  • Foxypoo61287
    Foxypoo61287 Posts: 638 Member
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    You can cheat on someone you love. I've always been the one who was cheated on. My b/f has treated me like cow poop, cheated on me, lied to me, & i never had the strength to leave, ( Im leaving now) . And one day I said eff it and slept with someone. I don't regret it. I regret that I had to stoop to his level, but I don't care. I gave him everything I had for almost 3 years, and he was telling people that I would not bring our newborn daughter to his house to see him ( I moved in with my parents after our daughter was born b/c they had central ac & heat and my daughter was born in december, and It wasn't a 1/1 which we lived in) That he had to drive all the way down to my parents house when I let him to see our daughter. The trip down to my parents house, is 7 minutes. He never wanted to come down, so I would go up there. He was telling girls we weren't together, he would reply to personal ads on craigslist, he would ask girls for naked pictures. Take his Ex out to dinner. I was 5 months pregnant and walked in on his EX walking out of our bathroom at 630 am when I had to stay at my parents because he said he needed some "space". He needed space for his EX to lay in bed with him is what he needed. He hasn't had a job since February. I keep telling him he needs to get a job, and he refuses to. So I'm leaving. It's taken me 2 1/2 years to finally do it. But I am.
  • ashlielinn
    ashlielinn Posts: 920
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    Being someone who's both cheated and been cheated on, I don't think you cheat on someone you actually love. You may THINK you love them at the time, but if you did, you wouldn't want to do anything to hurt them, and cheating on someone will obviously hurt them. I'd never do anything like that to the person I'm seeing now, and I've also never cared this deeply about another person.
  • doughnutwretch
    doughnutwretch Posts: 498 Member
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    Well, to start with, there are many variations of love. I don't think it's ever as straight and narrow as one would hope. People have cheated on partners they love and regretted it later, and people have cheated on partners they weren't in love with yet still regret it. Then there are those heartless f&*%ers who never genuinely love and cheat all the time and never feel remorse.

    Whether you love a person or not, cheating is an awful, awful thing to put a person through.
  • Green_eyed_beauty
    Green_eyed_beauty Posts: 101 Member
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    Good for you for leaving him Foxypoo61287... It's taken me 3 years. It's not easy!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Sure you can. Doesn't say much for your commitment and character, though.
  • mayerel
    mayerel Posts: 254 Member
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    Of course you can!

    Like someone pointed out earlier, love is not black and white, there are 100 shades of grey! And people have all kinds of issues that cause, or are linked to causing them, to cheat.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
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    i agree--I've been cheated on and I really truly think that the guy loved me--he just had external pressures and insecurities that caused him to make the wrong choice. sad but I think it was one of his greatest regrets because our relationship fell apart and he was never the same after that. ((sigh)). people should REALLY REALLY think before acting and risking the loss of someone they truly love.
  • knk1553
    knk1553 Posts: 438 Member
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    I struggle with this, I have a few friends who are married who regularly hook up/sleep with other individuals outside of their marriage, which I guess if the other partner has knowledge/consents its not technically cheating, its a very odd concept to me that I don't understand. I also know of another couple who is married who told the husband that he could hook up/sleep with whoever he wanted as long as she didn't find out about it, another interesting one as well. I guess if its mutually agreed upon then it isn't "cheating" per say...

    I think you can cheat on someone you love, but you aren't necessarily in love with that person, but there are people that believe that you can love more than one person, I haven't had that ever happen so I'm not sure if it's true. I've also only ever been cheated on and I know how much it hurt me, but yet that person still claimed to love me. To me its if you are in love with that person, then you should not feel the desire to cheat. So yes I think you can cheat on someone you love, but that you aren't actually truly 100% IN-love with that person if you're cheating on them
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
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    I've been cheated on by women who claimed to have been in love with me. I personally would never cheat on anyone nor would i knowlingly choose to put someone else through that much pain. Also, it's not in my character to cheat, that's just scandalous!
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    I do not believe you can cheat on someone you are in love with.
    I have been on the receiving end of that and it was easily the most painful thing I have ever experienced.
    Good riddance to her.
    I could never even imagine doing that to my wife now.
    I still do stupid things like buying cars without telling her but, I would never crush her emotionally like that.
    Never.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    When your committed, you shouldn't cheat. My ex "loved" me, but made very poor choices which lead to our break up. If he really loved me like he said he did, then he would have put more effort into our relationship, which he failed to do. But I'm not sure if a person can be in love with someone and cheat. IMO, if he/she cheated then they didn't love you enough.. Or they once did and the feelings had change, or they weren't really commited in the first place.

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