cheating and in-love, mutually exclusive or no?

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Replies

  • JeepBaja
    JeepBaja Posts: 1,824 Member
    Either your committed or not. If you are not happy with the person you are with then move on. Yeah, easier said than done, I know.

    Doesn't the change the fact that either you are committed or not. Anything less is fake or not real...
  • EmilyTwist1
    EmilyTwist1 Posts: 206 Member
    On the issue of "Is it cheating if there's consent?"... This is how I see it. Saying that all non-monogamy is cheating, regardless of consent is like saying all sex is rape, regardless of consent.

    Another way I like to describe it is that cheating means breaking the rules. If the rules of a relationship allow for sex/relationships outside that relationship, then doing so doesn't break the rules and therefore isn't cheating.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I think if you are truly and completely in love then there is no way or reason you would cheat. I feel that if you cheat, you want to be with the other person more than the one you are with.....so just end it. Why cheat and break someones heart and make a fool out of them. Sure you can love more than one person but I dont think you can be "in love" with more than one person. Staying faithful is a choice and im sure a challenge to many people but nobody said relationships are easy. For better or worse doesnt mean...or until something hotter or more attractive comes along.
    baby u mus be awful young

    Lol...I was thinking that too, but it's ironic, because that's how I am in a relationship. Other than the fact that I won't 'just end it'...because if I say I love you...it means I love you...not just until I don't feel like loving you anymore.

    Go figure.
  • lorijh72
    lorijh72 Posts: 118 Member
    will this help me lose weight?
    LMFAO!!!!! Well it could if you became a cheater and a lot horizontal poka was going on and the name of the activity was , sexercise, then yes, I do believe so, weight loss is possible!
  • roshart
    roshart Posts: 18
    I think if you really love someone, you can't cheat because you know you will hurt them.

    Maybe you're not "IN LOVE" but you love on some level. Not enough though to be in a committed relationship.



    So true.. if you really love someone you just couldn;t inflict that hurt on them, and why would you jeopardise your relationship for a quick fling?
  • TheFunBun
    TheFunBun Posts: 793 Member
    I think you can cheat on someone you love if you're a very selfish person. Love coexists with selfishness sometimes.

    I do think if you feel that you can do this kind of thing then you need to re-evaluate what type of person you are. Mutually agreed upon swinging is an entirely different concept.. but sneaking and lying and cheating definitely is born of selfishness.

    I believe in love and in love, but I don't think they're reasons to cheat. Obviously, if you're so involved with your love as to be "in love", it's totally in line with your selfishness to stick around that person and not sleep around. If you're just having the nice warm comfortable love that most of us have you have eyes for others.. and it's your moral compass that keeps you in line.. or lack of.
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
    If you truly love the person, then I don't think you can cheat on them. I know the thought of being with anyone other than my fiance makes me sick. I also know that people in relationships cheat,and when it gets to the point where you're considering having sex with another person, it's time to have a serious talk with your significant other
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
    Cheating on someone is a scumbag move, no excuses, period.

    Be a man/woman about it and end the relationship beforehand.
  • ScientistStudy
    ScientistStudy Posts: 249 Member
    Personally I have a zero-tolerance for cheaters. I could never do that to my boyfriend and if think that if you truly love your partner you wouldn't cheat on them, plain and simple. To me there's no excuse.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    *kitten* no. If you love someone you don't want to be with anyone else. You wouldn't want to inflict that pain on your significant other. If you cheat, you do not love, plain and simple.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    I have been cheated on, and I have been the cheater. there is so many aspects to the relationship that i could never explain here to make anyone understand. long story short i felt like something was up, turned to someone else, and drinking was involved. i didnt intentionally set out to cheat. well listen to your heart people the feeling that something was up, turned out to be he was cheating on me too. maybe I was young, maybe i just wanted an out of the relationship, maybe I didnt know what love was. I dont really know. all i know now is that I would never do it again. no matter the temptation, I hope I wouldnt put myself in any position to be unfaitful. I love my boyfriend with all my heart, and I would never want to hurt him like that nor do I feel the need to. young people in relationships are going to make many mistakes (usually) i think a person needs to be true to themself and know what they want in the relationship and have communication and honesty as well as talking about the relationship problems and work together to resolve them. cheating seems like a simple fix, a way to make themself feel better in some way.
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
    I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone, but for me, I don't think I'd be able to do it unless I was already losing the emotional attachment to my partner. Otherwise, as soon as the situation came up, I'd be thinking about how much it would hurt her, and it's probably rather hard to maintain an erection with those thoughts on your mind. :tongue:

    Personally, I think it's pretty despicable to go behind someone's back like that. If the relationship is at a point where I would do that, then I'd either work my *kitten* off to fix things, or end it and move on. I deliberately used "I" instead of "you" when typing that... not trying to be judgmental toward others who have made different choices (unless it was behind *my* back, in which case, you're a heartless *****! :laugh: ). I just cultivate very strong feelings on this subject, which helps me avoid temptation. I'd completely hate myself if I allowed it to happen.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    I would rather die then cheat on my husband.

    I would end it long before cheating.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Love is too complicated and fluid to draw black and white conclusions. And anyone who says you can't love more than one person is just lucky enough not to have been caught in the situation.

    ^^
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