Newbies, beware.

Options
12467

Replies

  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Options

    The very first reply was spot on. Then there was a joke. Then there was another decent reply. Then a few more replies to clarify that the joke was a joke.

    So, all in all, a simple question, some straightforward answers, a joke, and then a bit of extra noise.

    If only every thread was that clean and efficient.

    If you want unconditional niceness, make some friends here with like-minded folks. If you want answers, do some research or ask the forum. Usually you will get some factual answers mixed in with tons of noise and misinformation.

    Ask a question that's been asked thousands of times before, and you will likely get ridiculed. Which is fair in my opinion. It's common etiquette on internet forums to search before posting.

    Yes ok, but having never done this sort of thing before, how was I to know those things? I get it, i just didn't appreciate the "joke".

    One time when I was a young kid, my mom allowed me to wander off all by myself in the shopping mall. I walked into a store, where a salesperson greeted me cheerily, "Hi! How are you today?". I was put off by this. I wondered, who the hell is this person that I don't know and why are they talking to me. I eventually found out, little shops in the shopping mall have salespeople, and they act very friendly to people who walk in; it's their job.

    Now, on the other hand, this is the internet. And it has its own set of conventions and behaviors.

    Welcome to the internet.

    Welcome_To_The_Internet.jpg
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
    Options
    Hi, I saw your post and also the responses you got. I think you may have been too sensitive. I don't think the posters meant to be rude. One poster shared where you could find the answers and the other with the cheeseburger comment was trying to be funny.

    That's the disadvantage with posts like this, you don't see the persons face, inflection or smile.

    I do believe you will get the help you need here. Stick around for a time and see what happens.

    Good luck on your goals

    You may be right, but it upset me nonetheless. I am a bit fragile to be honest, and I thought it was ok on here to ask for other users opinions. Thank you for your kind words though.

    I don't mean to sound mean spirited, and I truly mean what I am saying in a kind way: If you are that "fragile" you may want to stay away from the forums altogether. People joke, people are sarcastic-if it's going to throw you into a tizzy and cause you to post angry, attention seeking threads, you may just want to avoid it. :flowerforyou:
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
    Options
    As a newbie my advice to you is to not waste your time focusing on a comment here and there that may bother you. There will always be a wide variety of responses because there are so many different personalities here.

    Its much better to read what people write and take the suggestions you like or benefit you, and ignore anything else. Truth is among all the different types of responses you will come out with friends you may not have had before.

    I do think the person was joking, but if you think it was rude thats your right, but there are going to be many many many just like it.

    Good luck to you.
  • sandrajune72
    sandrajune72 Posts: 550
    Options
    You may be right, but it upset me nonetheless. I am a bit fragile to be honest, and I thought it was ok on here to ask for other users opinions. Thank you for your kind words though.

    It is perfectly okay to ask questions here, we all do from time to time. Keep doing so, how else are you going to learn? I read your other post and am really unable to see any real rudeness. I agree, you may have overreacted a bit; even posting this thread could be considered an overreaction.

    May I suggest you have a cheeseburger, I saw you had written that you'd never eaten one. In my professional opinion, that is a problem. In the spirit of welcoming and good cheer, I present you with a REALLY good one. Bon Apetit!

    innout.jpg

    Your post made me smile through my tears! Thank you! But I'm too English, I don't do cheeseburgers!!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Options
    Actually, Newbies, the forums are awesome fun. Seriously. And there are some fantastic, helpful, smart and informed people out there. People tend to get "shot down' when they're promoting unhealthy behavior or spreading common diet myths. Sometimes people do this shooting down gently, sometimes not so gently, but it's usually done with the desire to help others. Unhealthy behaviors (like eating too few calories) and myths can jeopardize another's health or ability to succeed with their diet.

    The waters can get a bit choppy. I'll freely admit to that. That's the nature of any forum on the internet. But I hope you'll put on a brave face and come and 'play'. Really, it is fun and rewarding.... discussion and debate is great way of expanding your mind and learning new things.

    Best wishes, newbies!

    This is so true, don't be put off by what anyone says, there is so much support and information on this site and when in the forums try not to take anything personally and just look for the gold in amongst the dross. Stick around and you will find some amazing friends to help you on your journey. .

    Good luck :smile:
  • 42hockeymom
    42hockeymom Posts: 521 Member
    Options
    I'm going to side with Taso42. The first answer you received was straight forward. A lot of people have asked this question, the person who suggested the search function was being awesome to you! Instead of [MAYBE] giving you wrong/bad advice this person was saying here, if you do A, you will get B & C & D & E & F & G etc.

    Ok, the cheeseburger one might not have been funny to you, but it was just a joke. Some are funny others aren't. Most here are really great people, some are tools. Sounds just like real life.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    Options
    I actually do believe that the OP was very poorly treated. I responded to her original thread. Not everyone is obnoxious on MFP...as a rule, I usually ask my friends a question as the forum people are too preoccupied about debating fruit as sex toys etc to treat other people with dignity
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Options

    From what I can see, you had a couple of people try to help, and one person trying to be funny - and, yeah.. They weren't funny.. But your reaction was hypersensitive. Why would you let a silly comment send you into such a spin. Moreso since you have now started a pretty childish thread as a consequence. These forums reflect real life. You will like some people, you will like others less. You will receive some good advice, and some people will say things you perceive as objectionable. Would you support your children if, in the event that they have ross words with another child saying "stay out of the schoolyard. Kids are nasty"

    This here. Fo' sho. OP, you actually come across as looking for a fight rather than the other way around. They were trying to make you laugh. How dare they! :angry:
  • 42hockeymom
    42hockeymom Posts: 521 Member
    Options

    The very first reply was spot on. Then there was a joke. Then there was another decent reply. Then a few more replies to clarify that the joke was a joke.

    So, all in all, a simple question, some straightforward answers, a joke, and then a bit of extra noise.

    If only every thread was that clean and efficient.

    If you want unconditional niceness, make some friends here with like-minded folks. If you want answers, do some research or ask the forum. Usually you will get some factual answers mixed in with tons of noise and misinformation.

    Ask a question that's been asked thousands of times before, and you will likely get ridiculed. Which is fair in my opinion. It's common etiquette on internet forums to search before posting.

    Yes ok, but having never done this sort of thing before, how was I to know those things? I get it, i just didn't appreciate the "joke".

    One time when I was a young kid, my mom allowed me to wander off all by myself in the shopping mall. I walked into a store, where a salesperson greeted me cheerily, "Hi! How are you today?". I was put off by this. I wondered, who the hell is this person that I don't know and why are they talking to me. I eventually found out, little shops in the shopping mall have salespeople, and they act very friendly to people who walk in; it's their job.

    Now, on the other hand, this is the internet. And it has its own set of conventions and behaviors.

    Welcome to the internet.

    Welcome_To_The_Internet.jpg

    Off topic, but I'm totally crushing on you right now!
  • laceybrobie
    laceybrobie Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    EVERYBODY. i read the thread. this place is for support. i dont think that it was meant rude in any way.

    please, if you dont agree with the comment, ignore it.
  • bfvmg1
    bfvmg1 Posts: 10
    Options
    I am a newby here also (This is actually my first post), but you can go to meetup.com, do a search for fitness, exercise, whatever near you zip code, and find groups that may offer some support and help for you.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Options
    You may be right, but it upset me nonetheless. I am a bit fragile to be honest, and I thought it was ok on here to ask for other users opinions. Thank you for your kind words though.

    It is perfectly okay to ask questions here, we all do from time to time. Keep doing so, how else are you going to learn? I read your other post and am really unable to see any real rudeness. I agree, you may have overreacted a bit; even posting this thread could be considered an overreaction.

    May I suggest you have a cheeseburger, I saw you had written that you'd never eaten one. In my professional opinion, that is a problem. In the spirit of welcoming and good cheer, I present you with a REALLY good one. Bon Apetit!

    innout.jpg

    Your post made me smile through my tears! Thank you! But I'm too English, I don't do cheeseburgers!!

    Sweetie you can never be too English. I am from the UK (Bath) welcome to MFP I don't do cheesburgers either but only because I live miles away from the nearest McDonalds.
  • Rachspo
    Rachspo Posts: 45 Member
    Options
    I have found this to be the case on most Weight Loss/Improvement sights. Keep in mind that there will always be people who delight at bringing you down and making you feel bad about yourself. Remember, calorie counts include what you worked off in a workout. I don't eat for food. You need to burn more than need to lose weight. I eat the recommended daily amount and then I work out. What I burned I don't consume back. I won't be guilted into eating my fitness routine. I do that for me. Just ignore the critics and enjoy your success and progress. You aren't here for them, you are here for YOU. That is the only person on here you should be concerned about.

    I admire you a lot. Very brave to stick to your guns like that and be so confident. Listen to your gut, educate yourself but in the end do what is best for YOU. and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone on the internet. =)
  • delikium
    delikium Posts: 196 Member
    Options
    i think you have the right to be as sensitive as you are
    and yes it stings
    not everyone can get along

    just don't let it drag you down
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Options
    I have to agree that many of the posters on this site are downright rude and quite frankly many of the responses to your question WERE rude.

    Sarcasm, last I checked, was something smart-*kitten* teenagers applied heavily to piss adults off. These days it's something 'cool' adults use to make fun of everyone and make their friends congratulate them.

    Anyway, just ignore the immature folks that run around these forums and find a core group of friends who have like-minded ambitions and attitudes to your own. Otherwise the forums will drive you crazy. :)
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
    Options
    Maybe we all grow a thicker skin and care less about what other people say? I understand being sensitive, I'm pretty sensitive myself but you can't let a couple of rude responses upset you. You aren't going to get only responses that you like to everything you say. If you disagree with what was said or how it was said just brush it off.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
    Options
    Some people on here think they are stand-up comedians. In reality, they are rarely funny. Unfortunately, the lame joke told on your thread was one of the first few responses. There's also a bit of Catch-22. It's true that you would be better off acquiring like-minded friends that you could ask for advice, but just about the only way to acquire said friends is to comment on the forums and that means dealing with the rabble.
  • rockinsue285
    rockinsue285 Posts: 180
    Options
    same thing happened to me infact it was like being bullied, now I NEVER ASK A QUESTION IN THE FORUMS, I only ask on my own wall
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 775 Member
    Options
    You do have the right to be as sensitive as you want, but starting another thread about how "ill treated" you were with one joke just makes you look like a whiny pseudo adult looking for a basketful of "there, there poor baby"s.

    Congratulations.
  • erikkasusann
    erikkasusann Posts: 104
    Options
    I'm new, & frankly, I don't think it's helpful to post a topic telling others not to ask for help. I've found most folks here to be very supportive & I'm enough of a grown up to ignore the one who aren't. I read the thread, & I'll give you that some responses weren't full of sunshine & rainbows. So what? Some were very polite & helpful. Try to focus on the good & ignore the bad. Starting another conversation about it just to complain that someone was mean to you does no one any good. I'm sure you didn't start this thread as a genuine warning, the purpose seems to be for tattle-telling. I tell little kids that no one likes a tattle tale, adults should already know better.