Newbies, beware.
Replies
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Hi Folks,
Please be aware that the staff at MyFitnessPal is onboard 100% with the concern that genuine requests for advice in the forums are sometimes met with ridicule and mockery.
It's unfortunate that there are folks in the world who consider it amusing to respond to such posts with non-constructive, and unkind posts.
However, this is exactly why we have moderators, guidelines, and a three-strikes system on the site. We don't want ANYONE to feel unsafe posting in the forums. You can help us to create the right atmosphere there by letting us know when posts are in violation of these guidelines: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines
Typically, a first offense (or a second offense of a different guideline) will result simply in a deleted post and a "heads-up" warning. But repeat offenders do begin to accumulate strikes, and after three strikes users can no longer post to the public forums AT ALL. We've designed this system precisely to weed out those voices that can't keep their responses civil and helpful.
We'd like to see the forums cleaned up as much as any user on the site. Please continue to post with a feeling of ownership of the forums, and then alert us if others are abusing the privilege. Every abuse report is evaluated by a moderator (some are staff, some are AMAZINGLY GENEROUS volunteers.) We can't get to each report immediately, but we will get to it. Help us help you by letting us know what's what.
Regards,
Steven
MyFitnessPal Staff
UPDATE: Please see my continuation to this post on page 6. I missed some very important points that I should have clarified when I posted yesterday.0 -
Sorry you had a bad experience, that stinks. I've had a couple myself. There are lots of nice people here though, you just have to ignore the not so nice ones. Welcome to MFP, feel free to add me as a friend!! :flowerforyou:0
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We'll just have to agree to disagree there.The OP was not poorly treated in the other thread.0 -
Nothing in your original thread came off as rude. The cheeseburger comment was a (funny) joke...hence the laughing face emoticon...
the person who suggested the search function was HELPFUL as most newbies do NOT realize it is even there and there is a wealth of info to be learned on ANY topic your heart desires, because I guarantee you whatever question YOU have, it HAS been asked and answered many times. you can learn a lot by searching.0 -
Maybe it's me, but I thought the Cheeseburger joke was pretty funny and not meant to be mean spirited at all.0
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I am somewhat new to the fitness world, but wouldnt the comment about the cheeseburger be kinda correct?
I have heard abs are made in kitchen and perfected in the gym, so maybe its not cheese burgers affecting ones stomach but diet is just as import as exercise.0 -
Consider this- there was another thread going on at the same time in which a woman wrote a question asking how to tone her tummy. People tried to respond helpfully and there were a couple stock jokes mixed in, and the OP sort of flipped out and lashed out at everyone leading to a very long (like 150+ responses) very annoying, horrible thread. There were all kinds of bizarre things that happened in that thread, and I think it must have been deleted now because I can't find it. It got really nasty.
Now, none of that had anything to do with you or your thread except that some people had just been put through the ringer for trying to help a (seemingly) similar question. In light of that, I actually think the responses you got were really mild. Plus, I don't think anyone intended to be offensive. Keep in mind that your question doesn't exist in a vacuum. The groups seem to be less mean-spirited, you might want to stick to groups and not the general forum if you can't ignore people you find obnoxious.0 -
If people would CHOOSE to be kinder than necessary when replying to threads (any threads, newbie, veterans, a question asked for the first time, a question asked for the millionth time....) then the drama would stop. Period.
But getting nasty, vile and rude TROLLS to stop "joking" at other people's expenses is like trying to move a mountain with a teaspoon: You could work at it your whole life and never make a dent.
Here are two quotes to keep in mind when bothering to reply to a thread you've opened....
"Always be a little kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. ~T.H. Thompson and John Watson
"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." ~Author Unknown
(I take the last one to mean, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all... but this quote says it so much more elegantly!)
And for the people defending the way the OP was treated in her last thread ....
From the Urban Dictionary...
1. Trolling
Trolling is trying to get a rise out of someone. Forcing them to respond to you, either through wise-crackery, posting incorrect information, asking blatantly stupid questions, or other foolishness.
I believe the majority of the responses to her perfectly reasonable question fall into the realm of trolling.
I just call 'em like I see 'em.
I love this response. Well stated, thank you.0 -
I think that just because there's a laughing face emote after, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a joke. I could put a laughing face emote after everything I type, but that doesn't mean it's a joke. I could be putting that just to lessen the blow of the post.
As for everyone saying use the search button, at what point is it kosher to make a post? Because how long has this website been up? Wouldn't everything have been asked now? If the people who have been on here for awhile are seeing the same things posted over and over, who cares? Don't respond to it. Just move to the next posting, and let the people who actually care to help others do so. For some people, those initial few posts (repeated questions or not) are a way of feeling out the people who are right now actively using the message boards, and seeing who can be possible friends.
That's just how I feel.
OP, for the most part, the message boards are a GREAT tool. Don't let the few bad you'll encounter cloud the many good that are out there. Congrats on joining MFP and taking that step to being a better new you
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I know how you feel. Say one thing wrong here, or post in a way someone doesn't like, and everyone jumps on you. It's happened to me more than once, and as a result, I don't really feel fully confident starting new threads or even posting sometimes. But not everyone is horrible. I've met some really nice people on here, and the people on my friend's list are so encouraging. Big hugs, hun, and feel free to add me if you like
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I think that just because there's a laughing face emote after, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a joke. I could put a laughing face emote after everything I type, but that doesn't mean it's a joke. I could be putting that just to lessen the blow of the post.
As for everyone saying use the search button, at what point is it kosher to make a post? Because how long has this website been up? Wouldn't everything have been asked now? If the people who have been on here for awhile are seeing the same things posted over and over, who cares? Don't respond to it. Just move to the next posting, and let the people who actually care to help others do so. For some people, those initial few posts (repeated questions or not) are a way of feeling out the people who are right now actively using the message boards, and seeing who can be possible friends.
That's just how I feel.
OP, for the most part, the message boards are a GREAT tool. Don't let the few bad you'll encounter cloud the many good that are out there. Congrats on joining MFP and taking that step to being a better new you
Perfect post :bigsmile:0 -
My tuppence worth is thus:
I've been posting on these forums for about a fortnight and already I've noticed some odd trends. Ordinarily, I spend my time lurking on Slashdot, military forums and underground music/sports communities. Despite their diverse themes, I've noticed a common set of social rules on those forums that have grown organically over the many years that those forums have grown. Attitudes to trolling and flaming seem pretty solidly entrenched, and those communities are pretty quick to spot a wah.
Here on MFP, because of the relatively young age of the community, the atmosphere is very different. We have a mix of seasoned internet users and people who are relatively new to internet forums, perhaps having aquired the skills specifically to engage with MFP. Those who are new to the internet expect that some of the normal rules of face-to-face interaction in society might be followed on the internet, which often doesn't seem to be the case.
The problem is heightened by the fact that on MFP the topic of conversation is something that people are naturally very sensitive about, leading to the posibility of someone feeling very emotionally exposed to critiscism.
For me, the core rule of the internet (and any part of it) is "About 90% of what you read will be rubbish. If it's less than that, you're doing well.".
A lot of people on the internet spout nonsense, and this doesn't cause a great deal of hassle on the majority of forums. Here it does seem to cause sticking points, particularly where humour doesn't translate well. Where people have taken offence, I think the poster and the reader can take lessons away. The poster of an offensive comment should consider that MFP posts carry greater potential to cause emotional effect than elsewhere on the internet (and therefore greater implied responsibility to be careful). The reader should remember that we're a pretty diverse bunch of complete strangers. It's optimistic to expect a central standard of behaiviour to permiate through such a plurality.0 -
Oh, and don't log cleaning, no matter how vigorous. Because apparently only hard cardio or weight training is an acceptable method of burning calories.
I dont think you understand
?? Understand my sarcasm?? These forums can get really mean. About everything. Overweight people can't call themselves curvy. Slender people are too skinny. SAHMs are lazy. And people show too much skin in profile pics.
:laugh:
and women with muscles are gross, and who would want to be all bulky and look like that? :bigsmile:0 -
try going into a meat/vegetarian/vegan discussion. people on all sides can be really cruel. i have actually stayed out of those threads sadly. most people are very sweet and they try to help. i do wish that people would follow their parents advice, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. good luck to you and i hope you still post to the boards.0
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My tuppence worth is thus:
I've been posting on these forums for about a fortnight and already I've noticed some odd trends. Ordinarily, I spend my time lurking on Slashdot, military forums and underground music/sports communities. Despite their diverse themes, I've noticed a common set of social rules on those forums that have grown organically over the many years that those forums have grown. Attitudes to trolling and flaming seem pretty solidly entrenched, and those communities are pretty quick to spot a wah.
Here on MFP, because of the relatively young age of the community, the atmosphere is very different. We have a mix of seasoned internet users and people who are relatively new to internet forums, perhaps having aquired the skills specifically to engage with MFP. Those who are new to the internet expect that some of the normal rules of face-to-face interaction in society might be followed on the internet, which often doesn't seem to be the case.
You hit the nail on the head here. I'd wager that many people on here who get really upset about what people say on this forum have never been part of an internet forum before and have no idea how the social rules of internet forums work.
FWIW, this is the cleanest, nicest, most politically correct forum I've ever seen.0 -
Not very nice though.
I don't know if we're clicking the same link and getting to two very different threads or not, but there was a lot of help on that thread. Very confusing to me.
What I've seen a lot on here in the time I've been here is that people ask a question and don't give sufficient information and then get mad at people for answering it because they don't want the answers to be the ones they're getting. I see a little bit of that going on. Then they set themselves up as the victim of all these mean people, and in this pattern I see the "victim" was the one that was getting huffy at everyone else. Often they start a thread then to talk about how they were victimized,
The result of that pattern that I've seen over and over and over in the past year, is that people who've been here get tired of being called names and yelled at by people they are trying to help.
So my constructive suggestion to Newbies, is to not ask a question until you really are ready to consider the honest answers you receive from others. If you ask for help, particularly with caps and !!!!'es and then argue back at people who try to help, you're just making this a worse place, not a better one. There are some really cool people here who remain happy to help, but they don't like getting yelled at and called mean either.0 -
People get their questions answered on here with helpful responses quite often. However, there's a lot of questions that could be answered by a simple Google search. There's also a lot of threads where people don't get the answer they wanted so they try to blow off the responders' advice. So don't post looking for a specific answer to a question.0
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I'm still new here...add me if you wish.
I support anyone looking to make a healthy lifestyle change.
As for being on the forums you can't be too sensitive.
There are some great folks on here.
Then there are those that wouldn't say half the crap they do, if they were standing in front of you.
Take whatever with a grain of salt and move on.
It's the internet.......0 -
...there's a lot of questions that could be answered by a simple Google search...
Simple is a subjective term. A couple of years ago, I tought my grandma how to use google. Google had existed for 13 years by that point, and my grandma had owned a computer for four of those. She just hadn't seen good reason to google anything. Some of the people here might be of the same ilk, and represent the "old guard" of realworld socialisation, where you find stuff out by asking real people, who are flattered by the complement to their knowledge and are happy to explain it all. To them it is common sense to expect this practice to also exist on the internet.
We who have used the internet habitiually are quick to assume that ours is the best way of learning new stuff, but there's no harm in learning through conversation. In the time it takes to type "ha, you noob, you should have goodled it", someone could type, "I think there's more protein in tuna than brown rice".0 -
Hi, I saw your post and also the responses you got. I think you may have been too sensitive. ...
I do believe you will get the help you need here. Stick around for a time and see what happens.
Good luck on your goals
The other day I posted a question about a food. I had searched the web and this website for the answer and thought I had the right one. Still, I wanted to check. One person essentially asked how dare I ask a question to which I already knew the answer. The next person was more helpful.
This is the web. It comes with the territory.0 -
...My tuppence worth is thus:
...
FWIW, this is the cleanest, nicest, most politically correct forum I've ever seen.
Definately agree. Half the stuff that is just 'banter' on military forums would make jaws drop round here. It's a shame that a bi-product of the politeness is to make moderately pointed or slightly sharp remarks (whenever they occur from time to time) seem much ruder than they are intended, by comparison.0 -
...My tuppence worth is thus:
...
FWIW, this is the cleanest, nicest, most politically correct forum I've ever seen.
Definately agree. Half the stuff that is just 'banter' on military forums would make jaws drop round here. It's a shame that a bi-product of the politeness is to make moderately pointed or slightly sharp remarks (whenever they occur from time to time) seem much ruder than they are intended, by comparison.
Yup. My husband is ex-military, and the stuff he banters about IN PERSON with his army buddies would make most people on here run out the door screaming. It's just banter.0 -
If the people who have been on here for awhile are seeing the same things posted over and over, who cares? Don't respond to it. Just move to the next posting, and let the people who actually care to help others do so.
I've already started to ignore them, especially since I started knowing more about fitness and nutrition than many of the people new to this site. I was explaining what I imagine is the attitude of some people.
I do care, if I didn't, I wouldn't bother. There's no great honor or reward in anonymously dispensing advice. I provide what I view as the accurate advice.
I stopped reading the threads on the Fitbit site because 10 times a day there was a post on How Do I Set Up My Fitbit? There have been 100 threads on that and it's in the FAQ for heaven's sake.
MFP has helped me because logging my calories was important. A couple of groups, like the one on Intermittent Fasting, are helpful and actually tell me things I don't already know. In time, I'll probably quit MFP except maybe for the IF group.
I can't read another post on how if you skip a meal or drop below 1,200 calories you'll starve to death, or how if you are not losing weight the FIRST thing you should do is eat more without running screaming from the room. I must say that reading post after post like that has opened my eyes to the delusions that have allowed many people to get seriously overweight and obese.0 -
JOKE noun, verb, joked, jok·ing.
noun
1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.
2. something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.
3. a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke.
4. something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class.
5. practical joke.
verb (used without object)
6. to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us.
7. to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking.
[/quote]
The OP thought it was hilarious...NOT.0 -
We are not all bad You can do it0
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Staff Note:
Please see my response on Page 4 of this thread. We want ALL users to feel confident posting in the forums, and we have systems in place to improve the tone of the forums over the long haul.
Steven
MyFitnessPal Staff
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread....
Just a friendly warning to all newbies, don't post topics asking for help or advice. I did and got shot down.
I know the feeling. I asked a simple, probably vague question and felt humilated afterwards because people jumped to conclusions w/out knowing any details. Bad on my part, but bad on their part also. If anything, I'll just ask my friends.0 -
My tuppence worth is thus:
I've been posting on these forums for about a fortnight and already I've noticed some odd trends. Ordinarily, I spend my time lurking on Slashdot, military forums and underground music/sports communities. Despite their diverse themes, I've noticed a common set of social rules on those forums that have grown organically over the many years that those forums have grown. Attitudes to trolling and flaming seem pretty solidly entrenched, and those communities are pretty quick to spot a wah.
Here on MFP, because of the relatively young age of the community, the atmosphere is very different. We have a mix of seasoned internet users and people who are relatively new to internet forums, perhaps having aquired the skills specifically to engage with MFP. Those who are new to the internet expect that some of the normal rules of face-to-face interaction in society might be followed on the internet, which often doesn't seem to be the case.
The problem is heightened by the fact that on MFP the topic of conversation is something that people are naturally very sensitive about, leading to the posibility of someone feeling very emotionally exposed to critiscism.
For me, the core rule of the internet (and any part of it) is "About 90% of what you read will be rubbish. If it's less than that, you're doing well.".
A lot of people on the internet spout nonsense, and this doesn't cause a great deal of hassle on the majority of forums. Here it does seem to cause sticking points, particularly where humour doesn't translate well. Where people have taken offence, I think the poster and the reader can take lessons away. The poster of an offensive comment should consider that MFP posts carry greater potential to cause emotional effect than elsewhere on the internet (and therefore greater implied responsibility to be careful). The reader should remember that we're a pretty diverse bunch of complete strangers. It's optimistic to expect a central standard of behaiviour to permiate through such a plurality.
+1 insightful0 -
Jesus Christ.
Ok, seems some of you may be new to the internet. I'm not. Here are a few tips.
Some people are douche bags. It would be awesome if they weren't, but they are. They offend people. The burden is on the offended. The best way to beat the offender is to take from him/her the power to offend you. Don't carry his bricks.
Types of douche bags:
1. The insecure douche that attempts to boost his/her own low self esteem by tearing other people down.
2. The epic failure that finally won at something. This is the person who has spent most of their life as a loser, but then won the lotto, or more relevant to this site, lost a ton of weight, looks good for the first time in their life, and wants to make damn sure everyone on earth looks at them and acknowledges that they are truly epic and that their advice is superior to all others.
3. The one-upper. You know that guy that always walks up when you are telling a cool story and he interupts and starts telling you about the time he did that same thing, except when he did it it was way more awesome than when you did it? Like if you went sky diving, he went sky diving with hot young naked asian sex ninjas and they landed in Afghanistan and shot three of the 9/11 masterminds with machine guns made out of bacon and then ate the bacon machine guns off of each others bellies while snorting coke through the hollowed out finger bones of the dead terrorists. Then they all had a patriotic orgy for freedom and democracy and he recieved the congressional medal of honor for bravery and extraordinary penis excellence in a combat situation. Yea, we love that guy.
4. The delusional douche, or as I call him, douchlusional. He isn't masking insecurity or trying for attention like the above, but he/she truly believes they are superior and that everyone that doesn't acknowledge their superiority is self deluted for not being able to recognize the obvious of their awesome.
There are other types, and various combinations of those types, but those are the ones you will meet most often online. Please know that I have seen many forums destroyed by well intended "net nannies" who vowed to route them out. What they actually did though was make so many topics off limits and locked so many threads that people were unable to answer any question honestly for fear of being banned. Gradually the most colorful, articulate, and provocative posters just left for forums with more freedom, and all that was left was a handful of bland, politically correct posters taking boring to new heights.
You'd have a few word game threads and recipes, but no debate, no comparing ideas, no passionate monologs in defense of a near and dear belief, just the verbal equivilent of oatmeal with no butter, no sugar, no cinnamin, no flavor. Do what you want. It's your forum. I just joined to support my wife because she is active here and I want to be where ever she is active and needs encouragement, but I saw this thread and just thought I'd warn you where excessive moderation will take you, not because I can see the future, but because I have seen the past.
Most of the people on this site want a little help, to look better, to feel better, to be better than they are now for a variety of reasons. They know they aren't perfect. If one or two people become abusive, I mean really abusive like threatening or sexually harrassing, or just piling vulgarities on you with no provocation other than you seemed like a soft target, then yes, the moderator needs to step in, but if they are just being your run-of-the-mill ****head, let the majority put them in their place, and let their asshat comment stand, so others can see it and know who they are.
Peer pressure has gotten a bad rep, but it can be used in a positive way. I have been a moderator on a huge gaming forum and learned a few tricks, and a lot about managing egos.
Anyway, I'll help anyone with anything, but my wife is a much nicer person than I am. She is much more social too and people seem drawn to her. She is doing very well on this program and I am very proud. I'm sure she could, and would be glad to help any newbie and she doesn't talk down to people, ever. Her name is Allisonkeller.0 -
If the people who have been on here for awhile are seeing the same things posted over and over, who cares? Don't respond to it. Just move to the next posting, and let the people who actually care to help others do so.
I've already started to ignore them, especially since I started knowing more about fitness and nutrition than many of the people new to this site. I was explaining what I imagine is the attitude of some people.
I do care, if I didn't, I wouldn't bother. There's no great honor or reward in anonymously dispensing advice. I provide what I view as the accurate advice.
I stopped reading the threads on the Fitbit site because 10 times a day there was a post on How Do I Set Up My Fitbit? There have been 100 threads on that and it's in the FAQ for heaven's sake.
MFP has helped me because logging my calories was important. A couple of groups, like the one on Intermittent Fasting, are helpful and actually tell me things I don't already know. In time, I'll probably quit MFP except maybe for the IF group.
I can't read another post on how if you skip a meal or drop below 1,200 calories you'll starve to death, or how if you are not losing weight the FIRST thing you should do is eat more without running screaming from the room. I must say that reading post after post like that has opened my eyes to the delusions that have allowed many people to get seriously overweight and obese.
What about the successfully lean, healthy, strong, and fit crowd who keeps pushing for for the undereaters to eat more and get out of their ruts? Are they playing a practical joke?0 -
@Martin_Kaine : Great Post!0
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