why do women seem to want WHO they can't have?

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  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
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    because women in general (not all but A LOT ) are a bunch of backstabing dirty over competive hookers

    i also agree with this. especially the "overcompetitive" part. How many women have you heard say "I hate women/girls/females." Or "i don't have female friends."

    Why do you think that's the case?

    And women who say that annoy me as well. They too are making negative generalizations about their own sex. They obviously haven't taken the time to get to know a good amount of women in order to find women who are like them. None of female friends that are catty, competitive or into drama. Why? Because there are a lot of women are NOT that way, and I take the time to find that out (and actually it's not that hard to find in the right groups). Women need to stop being prejudice against other women, plain and simple.


    which is why I say NOT ALL but a lot. I think in 35 years I have known a fair amount of women since I have not spent that time living under a rock
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
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    AskMen Magazine... hmmm.

    How's NY Times for You?

    Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?
    By JOHN TIERNEY

    Researchers have debated for years whether men or women are likelier to engage in “mate poaching.” Some surveys indicated that men had a stronger tendency to go after other people’s partners, but was that just because men were more likely to admit engaging in this behavior? Now there’s experimental evidence that single women are particularly drawn to other people’s partners, according to a report in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology by two social psychologists, Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker of Oklahoma State University.

    Noting that single women often complain that “all the good men are taken,” the psychologists wondered if “this perception is really based on the fact that taken men are perceived as good.” To investigate, the researchers quizzed male and female undergraduates — some involved in romantic relationships, some unattached — about their ideal romantic partner.

    Next, each of the experimental subjects was told that he or she had been matched by a computer with a like-minded partner, and each was shown a photo of an attractive person of the opposite sex. (All the women saw the same photo, as did all the men.) Half of the subjects were told that their match was already romantically involved with someone else, while the other half were told that their match was unattached. Then the subjects were all asked how interested they were in their match.

    To the men in the experiment, and to the women who were already in relationships, it didn’t make a significant difference whether their match was single or attached. But single women showed a distinct preference for mate poaching. When the man was described as unattached, 59 percent of the single women were interested in pursuing him. When that same man was described as being in a committed relationship, 90 percent were interested. The researchers write:

    According to a recent poll, most women who engage in mate poaching do not think the attached status of the target played a role in their poaching decision, but our study shows this belief to be false. Single women in this study were significantly more interested in the target when he was attached. This may be because an attached man has demonstrated his ability to commit and in some ways his qualities have already been ‘‘pre-screened” by another woman.

    Well, that makes sense. But I asked Dr. Burkley, a professor of social psychology at Oklahoma State, if the correlation could also be due to another factor at work in some women: fear of intimacy. Could their interest in unavailable guys be what was keeping them single in the first place?

    Maybe, Dr. Burkley replied. “There are many possible explanations for our results,” she told me, “and future research needs to identify exactly why single women prefer taken men. Our lab is currently conducting studies to try and tease apart the different potential explanations for our findings, but your explanation seems quite plausible.”

    What’s your explanation? And do you have any data — anecdotal or otherwise — to offer?
    http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/13/do-single-women-seek-attached-men/
  • BrionyTallis
    BrionyTallis Posts: 90 Member
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    Guys do the same thing. It's a competition. A game. For guys, stealing another guy's woman is ego-points. Means he's the alpha.

    Status games be status games.

    yep, been on the receiving end of a few of those when I was younger I'm sad to say
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    Ya know what? It doesn't really matter if 75% of women do this, or 90% of women. What matters is that you said "women" as in ALL women. This is the problem. We need to stop making big generalizations especially when it just contributes to prejudiced against ourselves.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
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    Ya know what? It doesn't really matter if 75% of women do this, or 90% of women. What matters is that you said "women" as in ALL women. This is the problem. We need to stop making big generalizations especially when it just contributes to prejudiced against ourselves.

    I think it very well does matter. If something is the rule rather than the exception then it's quite efficient to be aware of that rule, don't you think?
  • dyannajoy
    dyannajoy Posts: 466 Member
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    Could be my age and the fact I have been married (to the same guy) for 43 years.....but I am more attracted to peach ice cream right now as it is something I know I can't have as I can't stop at a 1/2 gallon.

    LOL I can totally relate!:bigsmile:
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
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    i agree that both do sh!tty things from time to time--but this ONE BEHAVIOR seems TO ME to be more prevalent in women than men. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it!

    Baby, that's because us men follow the G-Code, "Bros before Hoes"!

    bros-before-hoes.gif

    Where is Scott to back me up?!?

    And women aren't cool like that, they be all about themselves, digging for gold!
  • LadyWingsFan
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    OP, I agree with you that SOME women tend to revert to loving their little drama and having such insecurity issues that they need to 'take' someone's boyfriend to give themselves 'attractive' points. I know a few women like this who actually admit that they go after married men or boyfriends! Some (note that I'm not generalizing the gender, PC nazis!) women are very catty and don't care whom they hurt to get their self-esteem up.

    HOWEVER....I have had more men hit on me now that I have a boyfriend than I did when I was single. It works both ways. And yes, in front of my boyfriend too! This one guy started to be belligerent towards my boyfriend and put his arm around me and asked him what he was going to do about that! My boyfriend laughed and said, more the merrier :) The guy slunk off and we had ourselves a nice chuckle.

    Moral? The grass may seem greener on the other side....but really. Take care of your own grass and it too shall be nice and green ;)
  • stayxtrue
    stayxtrue Posts: 1,190 Member
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    Yea I dont get this... I am always single and no girl is interested. As soon as I magically get a girlfriend, half the girls around me want me?? it is quite annoying
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
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    OP, I agree with you that SOME women tend to revert to loving their little drama and having such insecurity issues that they need to 'take' someone's boyfriend to give themselves 'attractive' points. I know a few women like this who actually admit that they go after married men or boyfriends! Some (note that I'm not generalizing the gender, PC nazis!) women are very catty and don't care whom they hurt to get their self-esteem up.

    HOWEVER....I have had more men hit on me now that I have a boyfriend than I did when I was single. It works both ways. And yes, in front of my boyfriend too! This one guy started to be belligerent towards my boyfriend and put his arm around me and asked him what he was going to do about that! My boyfriend laughed and said, more the merrier :) The guy slunk off and we had ourselves a nice chuckle.

    Moral? The grass may seem greener on the other side....but really. Take care of your own grass and it too shall be nice and green ;)

    I love how you BF handled that situation LOL! I probably would have been taken away in a squad car for roundhouse kicking the douche bag's head off LOL!
  • stayxtrue
    stayxtrue Posts: 1,190 Member
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    i agree that both do sh!tty things from time to time--but this ONE BEHAVIOR seems TO ME to be more prevalent in women than men. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it!

    Baby, that's because us men follow the G-Code, "Bros before Hoes"!

    bros-before-hoes.gif

    Where is Scott to back me up?!?

    And women aren't cool like that, they be all about themselves, digging for gold!

    AMEN!
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
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    Yea I dont get this... I am always single and no girl is interested. As soon as I magically get a girlfriend, half the girls around me want me?? it is quite annoying

    it seems like a lot of people report this very same thing. sucks, eh?
  • DemiRaye
    DemiRaye Posts: 37
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    Could be my age and the fact I have been married (to the same guy) for 43 years.....but I am more attracted to peach ice cream right now as it is something I know I can't have as I can't stop at a 1/2 gallon.

    LOL I can totally relate!:bigsmile:

    The two most relevant posts by far! :-D
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
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    Yea I dont get this... I am always single and no girl is interested. As soon as I magically get a girlfriend, half the girls around me want me?? it is quite annoying

    Jamie, stay away from breezies, they carry diseazies brah!
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    Ya know what? It doesn't really matter if 75% of women do this, or 90% of women. What matters is that you said "women" as in ALL women. This is the problem. We need to stop making big generalizations especially when it just contributes to prejudiced against ourselves.

    I think it very well does matter. If something is the rule rather than the exception then it's quite efficient to be aware of that rule, don't you think?

    So, then by that logic, it'd be okay if I said: "Black people are good at sports." or something negative about black people?
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    Options
    OP, I agree with you that SOME women tend to revert to loving their little drama and having such insecurity issues that they need to 'take' someone's boyfriend to give themselves 'attractive' points. I know a few women like this who actually admit that they go after married men or boyfriends! Some (note that I'm not generalizing the gender, PC nazis!) women are very catty and don't care whom they hurt to get their self-esteem up.

    HOWEVER....I have had more men hit on me now that I have a boyfriend than I did when I was single. It works both ways. And yes, in front of my boyfriend too! This one guy started to be belligerent towards my boyfriend and put his arm around me and asked him what he was going to do about that! My boyfriend laughed and said, more the merrier :) The guy slunk off and we had ourselves a nice chuckle.

    Moral? The grass may seem greener on the other side....but really. Take care of your own grass and it too shall be nice and green ;)


    love it. thanks for sharing.your BF has got some composure!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I need more ladies to think they can`t have me I guess. :grumble:
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
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    Ya know what? It doesn't really matter if 75% of women do this, or 90% of women. What matters is that you said "women" as in ALL women. This is the problem. We need to stop making big generalizations especially when it just contributes to prejudiced against ourselves.

    I think it very well does matter. If something is the rule rather than the exception then it's quite efficient to be aware of that rule, don't you think?

    So, then by that logic, it'd be okay if I said: "Black people are good at sports." or something negative about black people?

    if it was 90% as you say--then it would be EFFICIENT not "okay." If it causes you to treat ALL OF the members of that group differently (in a negative way) because of it then it becomes immoral in my opinion.
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Sorry if that's your experience, but both genders are perfectly capable of being ****ty people.

    This. It is a character issue from person to person and happens with both genders.
  • dyannajoy
    dyannajoy Posts: 466 Member
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    We really don't need yet another post by a woman (or anyone else for that matter) putting women as a group down by insisting that the majority of women fall into some specific pattern of behavior.

    We all need to stop degrading women and men. We need to stop stereotyping. Seriously.

    I don't want WHO I can't have. I don't know many women or men who do. Are there some out there with a penchant for chasing the taken man/woman? Sure. You'll find them. But I seriously doubt they're more prevalent in one sex vs. another.

    I just read a quote that said "I did not walk away without saying anything because you are right, but because I refuse to argue with stupidity". Although I totally get what you said and 100% agree with you........I refuse to argue with stupid. Come on over and join those of us intelligent enough to carry on a real conversation about these kind of topics! :flowerforyou: