The reason I drink...

Wreak_Havoc

My twins are almost 3 and a half and I have to admit you have shown me things my children have not thought of yet. AND I hope they will not. Having twins is a whole different level of survival parenting.

Don't let then see this thread then!!!!!!!

I'm SO glad I stopped at NONE!

Cliffslosinit

OMG brought back memories when the oldest was young.
He painted the front porch and himself with his diaper. Gagged while I got the hose out!
I must have been a bad kid as well. Like you and ur hubby lol.
Good luck and bottoms up :drinker:

stevewynjones

My daughter now 8 when about 3 decided she needed more cream for her bottom and used an entire tub of Sudocrem (Zinc oxide cream) you know the waterproof stuff.......no sleep that night!

the boys have slowly destroyed the garden and most of the shed......

my reason for livin....honest

Sumo813

I may never stop laughing... :laugh:

tawny9753

I have none to share....and strangely this thread confirms my choice as a wise one.

Right there with ya!!

I am also childless by choice. Every once in a while I get a twinge of baby fever. Then I remember I sometimes don't even like the commitment and cost of taking care of my Pomeranian (daily walking & attention, monthly hair grooming and bath). Love my fur baby, and he's the most I can handle!

UsedToBeHusky

Great post! It must be fun around your house! :laugh:

sandiki

I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but have you considered any sort of behavioral analysis and/or help from a child psychologist to see if there's some way to get these two under control? Different kids have different needs, and maybe you just need a little help figuring out what it is?

On the upside, keeping up with those two probably means that the drinks could be considered "exercise calories".

This is what I was thinking. I work with kids with Austism and focus my approach in ABA (applied behavior analysis). I hate to say that this is not normal behavior for young kids...at least not on a constant basis. Every kid gets into trouble from time to time, but if this is a regular thing I would be concerned. My 5 year old step daughter would catch hell for making messes like that...but also even since she was younger, would never dream of that stuff. (her worst offense was when her and her cousin played "beauty salon" and cut each others hair. Lucky for me natural consequence of having a god awful hair cut did the trick and did not need and other consequence!) Things need to be done here...besides drinking and laughing away the pain.

Take it you have no children of your own... ^(" Things need to be done here...besides drinking and laughing away the pain.")

Zumbagurl64

haha....thanks for the chuckle! and I thought I had problems....

_JamieB_

OMFG thank you for sharing....I thought I was the only one...my son is now almost 7 but still manages to make me drink quite often!!!

jenj1313

Bump... can't see the pics at work... must remember to look tonight! If it makes you feel better, I have a puppy who is about as creative and determined as the one with the sunscreen... but I can lock him in a cage when I need to :-)

Beezil

Well my boy has been one crazy hell-raiser. He will be 10 this coming August. He's been suspended from school more times than I can count, the first time was in Kindergarten for kicking a 2nd grader in the head while she was on the ground. He's since been suspended for hitting / kicking / biting / throwing things at teachers as well as other students. He's tried to leave school a few times. (He's doing quite a lot better now though, in 4th grade and is very bright. He gets good grades, he just has a few behavioral issues due to his ADHD. Not nearly as severe as things used to be though, thank God!)

Before he was potty trained he used to take off his dirty diapers and smear his poop all over the walls of his room, all over his crib, the floor, his door, toys, and sometimes he would actually hide it! Oh dear God, I thought it would never end... He was almost potty trained at about 2 1/2, but had one of those relapses kids sometimes do, and we had to go back to diapers at night. We finally got him completely potty trained when he was almost 4. I can't even remember how many times I scrubbed poop off his walls, toys, bed, etc. Terrible times, my friends! Terrible times! We replaced his carpet twice because of it and the fact that he kept tearing it up off the floor (YES, he tore it up!), and the carpet he has now needs replaced because he ripped some of it up as well. Can't afford to replace it right now though! At least it's clean! lol We have also repainted his walls twice because of him coloring on them and putting holes in the drywall. His walls are currently covered in crayon and marker again, and have several holes in them because we can't afford to have them fixed again yet. He also used to throw toys out his window. He also kicked our youngest cat, Pazuzu, for scratching him when the little kitten was all of about 3 months old and ended up breaking his leg. Took about 12 weeks for the poor cat to heal but he did and he's just fine now! The vet said we would have to amputate or put him to sleep since we couldn't afford surgery, but we couldn't do either of those things either. We kept him in a large kennel until his leg healed, kept close watch over him and gave him tons of affection. It sucked for him, because it took a long time for the leg to heal - but I think he's lucky to be with us and he is the sweetest kitty ever now. Kind of temperamental, but not vicious or aggressive. He just doesn't like my son, at all, understandably!

There's a lot of bad, but there's way more good with my son. Only hearing the worst stuff he's done, of course it sounds terrible, and a lot of it was, I won't lie... lol. But, he is the sweetest kid you'll ever meet and his smile can light up an entire room full of people. He just doesn't think before he does things a lot of the time, it's what ADHD is like. He tries really hard though, and it shows. Especially this year in school I've noticed big changes in his level of maturity. He's growing up way too fast honestly... lol. I got pretty weepy last night watching videos of him when he was 4 at Christmas. The age of innocence!

tawny9753

What I did to my parents as a child, and probably why I don't want kids of my own:

**Ate a bar of ex-lax and shared with my sisters, we had to wear diapers for the next 24 hours. They shouldn't make it look and taste like chocolate.
**We routinely played "babies". Meaning we would take all our clean clothes and wear them like diapers and pee on them.
**Drank a whole bottle of cough syrup (shared with my sisters, I'm so generous...) we had to use ipecac but mine just wouldn't come up. So I had to run around outside which was 80 degrees until I threw it up.
**Every night for months I would sneak a packet of nutty bars, eat them in my bed and shove the wrapper between the bed and wall. This is when I shared a room with my parents. One day they decided to rearrange the room and I was caught.
**When I was too young to know better I let a kitten walk on the bannister railing and it fell down the stairs. It was very sick for 2 weeks before it passed away. Poor kitten, I still feel bad.
**I climbed on top of the fridge and got into the cupboards with the liquor. I didn't drink it because it tasted bad, but a few bottles fell and broke.
**When I WAS old enough to know better I embezzled money from my school fundraiser to buy candy. I got caught by the school administrators who noticed my pencil marks were erased on the donation form.


Those are the ones I can remember at the moment. There are probably a bunch of things I'm forgetting. At least I was a good, responsible teenager.

Brechin89

LMFAO great post....

I remember when I was a kid I put a Peanut Butter Sandwhich in the VCR because it kept eating our tapes... So I gave him something to eat...

take my meds and spit them out when parents weren't looking

I kicked a nurse in the face for trying to hold me down while the doctor put eyedrops in my eye... I then started crying because it burnt so bad and I kicked the doctor in the nuts....

Put a towel around my neck and dove out of the window like I was superman and I got cut... (doesn't work like it does in the movies)

Hide my dads keys so he couldn't go to work...

played in my dads old van and accidently knocked it out of gear... It coasted backwards all the way to the gas station and took out a newspaper dispenser and did some damage to the building...

Fought my sister EVERY DAY

anahee

LMAO!!! (loved the pictures) enjoy it while you can, they grow up so quickly cuz when you least expect it they'll be leaving home for COLLEGE.

Bumdrahp

I love this!!!! Godbless you hahahaha!

wilmnoca

Omg my sides hurt from laughing so hard. My husband and I have always known we were not the parenting type (much to my mother in laws chagrin). I was a really good kid but a terrible teen. Hopedully your little ones will get it out of their system early and everything else will be smooth sailing.

brookef81

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!!! You need a vacation! My kids do similar stuff and HAVE broken our first 58' TV

Amber50lbsDown

Cheers To That !!!!:drinker:

Heres my little Dennis the Menis ....hes always getting into things the other day I found him smearing PB all over the bedroom floor and I still dont have a clue how he got it off the top of the fridge.
He drowned my cell phone and I never know what I will find in his pockets lol

and this is when he use a whole bottle of baby powder to decorate my bathroom.

elenathegreat

My twins are barely grown (almost 19) and they still give me headaches and spend all my money!

Word.

mes1119

Thank you for proving the importance of birth control...

NOT ready for that.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE kids, even work with them and plan on having them one day. Just wayyyyyy far in the future.....

Dalejr

Kids are the reason someone invented beer!

RoboLikes

hahaha this is amazing

markymarrkk

ahhahahaha..OmG im dying! that was awesome, thanks for sharing.

I love my kid, he's a handful and the reason I had to quit smoking pot

ttkg

I have none to share....and strangely this thread confirms my choice as a wise one.

Right there with ya!!

Me three!

tldust

Yes, this confirms my choice not to have kids. Cheers! And good luck.

MystiqueASAP

I don't whether to laugh or give you a hug. Actually, I will have a drink with you as those pictures made me tired. :drinker:

Although I love my daughter dearly, I am so glad she is grown and out of my house.

foodfight247

OP - lmao! But on a serious note, thank goodness I only have the one. My best friend has three boys who get up to all sorts. Like flooding the bathroom not once not twice but three times. Has also demolished their bedrooms and broken into locked cupboards....the list goes on.

Have a drink on me. Sounds like you need it. Lol!

taunto

I'm sorry but this was just adorable! I can't wait to see my nieces and nephews now!!

Fourmenandalady28

<-This chick is a mother of stair steps (BOYS) 5, 6, and 7 now....need I say more? bahhhhaahhaaaaaa!

Anthonydaman

Hang in there Mom, you are in the trenches, they should get easier as they get older, my two did...