Heartbroke and defeated...

Serah87

What a quack of a doctor!!! :grumble:

I started at 230 and so far I have lost 39 pounds, don't let that quack of a doctor tell you can't do this without surgery, keep doing what you are doing before long you will be at your goal weight!!! :flowerforyou:

Jenilein

I felt this way a few months ago - I got tired of working so hard for "nothing", but sometimes the invisible progress has to happen before the visible progress begins. Some folks refer to Non Scale Victories (NSV)

There is so much hype about quick solutions...instant gratification, but weight loss surgery is very drastic and can permanently affect the quatlity of life. I understand your despair, but I agree with the others. YOU CAN DO THIS! I was inspired by the stories on this site of people who lost literally hundreds of pounds. You might find them inspirational as well.

ResilientWoman

Please feel free to add me as a friend. I started at 352 lbs, lost the ability to walk, spent 3 1/2 years listening to medical folk tell me that there was no help for me.

FF to today. Have shed 110 lbs, Have shed over 20 inches from my waist alone. Fomerly wore men's clothes in a 6X because there were no women's clothes locally that fit. Now I wear a Size 14/16 and am inbetween a Large and an XL in either men's or women's styles.

Even though I still have 65-75 lbs to go, I am more fit than I have been since I was 16 years old. Rather than being 45, feeling like I was closwer to 75, I now feel like I'm a 15-25 yo with the wisdom of a grown woman.

Once confined to my recliner/bed/wheelchair, now I can walk, run, lift kettlebells, play and enjoy my life. My clients are getting similar results whether they need to shed 30 lbs or 200 lbs. We're each individuals and each one of us had different "Ah ha! moments" but we each found our way with good/knowledgeable support AND SO WILL YOU!

I would be happy to donate my time to get your nutrition or training tweaked if you want to drop me a message. You can do this!
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

thepanttherlady

There are 5 pages of responses and I sadly don't have time to read through them all so I apologize if this has been said.

#1 You CAN do this without surgery!! There is no way you'd be considered "too big" to do this on your own.
#2 You exercise 7 days a week. Your diary isn't open for us to see so I can't tell if you're eating ENOUGH for the amount of exercise you're doing. Not eating enough could stall progress and in many, caused plateaus or even weight gain.
#3 Did I mention you CAN do this?

Good luck to you.

P.S. I want to lose a total of 182 pounds. I refuse to consider surgery an option.

wftiger

So I have been at this for a while now and have lost 6 lbs, keep in mind to be at a "healthy BMI" I need to loose 100 but going for more like 66lbs...I work out everyday 7 days a week, wear a Polar F7 to track my burn eat pretty good and pour my heart and soul into weight loss. Today I went to the dr b/c I have been having such a hard time...she recommends that I consult a dr about a lap-band.... Apparently I am so big that I have no hope of dropping of the weight. I'm sure she thinks I am crazy- I broke down and cried in her office. :embarassed: I am planning on starting Insanity Saturday- tomorrow is my last day of RI30 ( I have done 60day straight of Jillian) now I really don't see the point I am big - will always be big and the only thing to help is a surgury that I can not afford :frown:

Thanks for the vent I needed it

No you are not. They told me that 6 months ago. And with me it was I was too overweight for the lapband and had to do the bypass. Well screw them I thought and I have lost 86 lbs in 6 months. I am only halfway there but they didn't think I could come this far. You can do it. Go see a bariatric Dr. Mine is wonderful. I didn't like the strict diet he put me on but it has worked and I have showed the others that said I could not do this. You can to. It is not impossible. Yes it is hard but you can do it.

violethaze

Your doctor sounds mad as cheese.

Brilliant! :laugh:

It's true though - your doctor is clearly talking rubbish. Surgery is so drastic, please don't give up. Losing weight can be really hard but if you keep trying it will happen.

Umeboshi

Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

This.
You've lost weight, you can lose more. You just need to stick with it.

ChristieLohr

You may want to try a raw fast. I tried it and it was wonderful. Just raw uncooked fruit and veggies and water or 100% fruit juice. If you start off small like 1 day, and then gradually build yourself up, you can go on this fast for a while and still feel satisfied and it also helps cleanse the toxins from your body. I went for 6 days and it actually got rid of a killer cold I had been trying to kick for weeks before, and I lost 7 lbs that week. There were a couple times when I felt overly hungry and broke down but I just ate a little rice and got back to the fast. You can do more research on the web and see what others have to say about it.

Katbaran

Like everyone else said--You NEED A NEW DOCTOR! This one is an idiot. You really aren't THAT big (from what your ticker says) and you CAN do it with diet and exercise alone. There are so many folks on MFP that have lost over 200 pounds and more this way! If you lost that much, you'd disappear!

Take a step back, a deep breath and calm down. Stress is not good for weight loss either.

I started at 317 and am at 240 now. It was hard work. I have another 80 pounds to go to get to 150. I WILL do this! I haven't used diet pills, fad diets or any supplements except for a multi vitamin and some extra vit d. (I've been on that for about 5 years now.) I've had both knees replaced and one hip replaced. If this old broad can do this, YOU can too!

theladyy

New doctor, definitely. If you only have 100 lbs before being in a normal BMI, then you're not big enough to for non surgical weight loss to be "hopeless".

BeachyBecky

Wow, seriously? Your in the low 200's! That is nuts! You can do this! When I had my second child I was where you are. I'm currently 168. It takes alot of hard work and patience but it comes off! No surgeries, pills, fads needed.
You got this!!!!

RachelsReboot

This makes me so heartbroke that I can't even go into the why's of why you shouldn't listen and how you can do this on your own but I've had gastric bypass. It almost took my life. I don't know if I would have in fact died without it but if there is even the smallest chance that you can make changes in your life and not go that route then please don't. You can search my past posts and pick up pieces of my story here and there or you can friend me and I will tell you later. I am not a bypass basher, I know many people have legitimate reasons, I was one of them, but life will never be normal for me again.

ash1220

Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

^^^ THIS!!!

Ignore that moronic doctor and keep on doing what you are doing. You can do this! ADD ME! I'd love to be your friend on this shared journey! ;o)

Qatsi

Apologies in advance for the long response. I saw myself in a lot of what you said, and I wanted to reach out to you.

Glad to hear you decided against the lap band. I know a couple of people who have had success with it, and I've also had one doctor suggest it as an option for me, but I've always been suspicious of it - mainly of the constant barrage of ads I've seen and heard. They make it seem like all you have to do is have this done and the pounds will magically come off.

I've fought obesity my entire adult life and have lost and regained weight more times than I can count. Discovered this site six months ago through a friend and it has been a powerful tool.

But it's not just about battling the bulge around your waist. You're also fighting a battle against frustration, impatience, and boredom. In the past, I would give up because I didn't get the results I wanted fast enough, or because I would plateau despite pounding the Stairmaster and exercise bike to the point of sheer exhaustion and give up out of frustration. I knew I had to do things differently this time.

When I got to the six month mark the other day, I took the time to reflect on what's worked for me and what hasn't along the way. I summarized the lessons learned in a message board post, which can be found here:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/590668-six-months-in-40-there-and-lessons-learned

I don't know how long you've been at this current effort. Seven pounds is a good start, no matter how you look at it. I've never tried any of the high intensity workout programs like Jillian or the RI30, so I don't know how good they are at simple fat burning as opposed to muscle development. And I'm no expert at this, so I can only tell you what's worked for me so far.

In my case, my exercise routine has mainly consisted of walking - lots and lots of walking. I plan to change this up soon to add strength training, but I wanted to kickstart the lifestyle change with some serious weight loss before starting to work on toning. And so far, I've been pleased with the progress. But if other types of exercise work for you, then by all means stick with them.

If you've plateaued and can't figure out why, take a look at your food and exercise diary and see what might be causing it. You may need to shake things up in your routine to get your metabolism a kick in the pants.

As someone who's been where you are now, I can tell you.... you CAN do this, WITHOUT the crutch of a lap band. I can tell you want to succeed - and if you can fight the mental blocks that are holding you back, you'll start to see the results you're looking for.

Friend request sent - i look forward to helping cheer you on your journey!

Simone_King

Keep going. Don't give up and frankly, I wouldn't go to the doctor..(I have a bad phobia of doctors. xx) Not only that, get a second option on what the doctor said. that seems wrong to me.

Have you thought that it may be something that you're digestion?

Also, this isn't the end. I failed so many diet's it's not funny but you are not defeated! Your just out for the count!

So you fell down. Get back up and get back on the horse! Cause...thats the only way you're going to do it.

Add me too.

Jenlynphi

I agree with everyone else! Find another doctor and don't give up. You can do this! Feel free to add me as a friend. :-)

happilyeveractive

YOU CAN DO IT! DON'T GIVE UPPPP!

rileamoyer

You can do it, and yes it is hard. Find a nutritionist, and another doctor for another opinion. Open your diary so your friends and others can give you suggestions. There can be many reasons for lack weight loss, including Undereating. So don't quit.

Mershon88

Don't give up!! You can do it! Feel free to add me! And I must also agree, get a new doctor!

WishfulShrinking331

Get a new doctor!!! Don't give up diet and exercise is the right way to do it!! Feel free to add me!!

cohophysh

Your doctor sounds mad as cheese.

How dare you insult cheese :laugh:

vroberts1017

My heart goes out to you. It's hard, but not impossible and you CAN do it. This is a great tool so just make sure to accurately record what you are doing. You should be able to see where you are getting off the path.... the path is long, take it one day at a time and focus on your accomplishments not matter how small. Please do not give up, you are worth it and you deserve it.

gpstrucker

It hurts my heart to read your original post.

I agree with everyone else here who said you need to get a new, better doctor.

One thing that concerns me is that you said you always eat under your calories. You do know that eating too little can stall your weight loss, right? If it's just a little under that's cool, but too much under for too long can cause problems (or so I understand it, I am NOT an expert).

You CAN DO THIS!

We are all with you.

MamaWannaRun

I agree with the 'mad as cheese' comment (no offense cheese)... Your doctor is just plain idiotic!

You can do this. This takes time. With the huge amounts of exercise you are doing, you may well need to eat a bit more! Yes, it sounds strange but everyone is different. Look up 'Eat More to Weigh Less'..

There are a lot of great comments and suggestions here. Take what you want, leave the rest. Try it.. You have nothing to lose!!
Friend every last one of us if it will help!! Please, don't give up!

nehushtan

So I have been at this for a while now and have lost 6 lbs, keep in mind to be at a "healthy BMI" I need to loose 100 but going for more like 66lbs...I work out everyday 7 days a week, wear a Polar F7 to track my burn eat pretty good and pour my heart and soul into weight loss

I'm concerned about what you said in your original post. You discuss your "weight loss" program MAINLY in terms of how much you exercise, and almost as a side note you mention that you "eat pretty good". I don't want to be too negative because I know you are trying so hard, and I want to agree with the others here that your doctor should be taken behind the woodshed for a good spanking.

However one of the sad facts of human weight is that the diet aspect FAR FAR outstrips any exercise efforts. You wouldn't know this by the conventional wisdom. Almost everyone, when they decide to lose weight, BEGIN by thinking "Ok, I'm going to start exercising every day! I'm going to join the gym! I'm going to run a 5K! I'm going to get P90X or Jillian!" And as they go along they realize that they should be "watching what they eat" also. So they cut back on the pizza and cheeseburgers a bit and eat a salad or an apple every now and then. And after a while they realize that the weight simply isn't dropping off.

You will hear often that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I respectfully disagree. If diet is not 100%, it is definitely more in the 90% range. In order to lose weight, you have to know your calorie limit and stay consistently under it for many weeks at a time. For most people, it probably takes 2 hours of strenuous exercise per day to burn 1000 calories. But just a small amount of unconscious eating can easily undo that.

Everything is dangerous. A piece of cake. A bottle of Gatorade. A few cookies. A couple of slices of pizza. Some potato salad. Before you know it you can be eating at a calorie surplus instead of a deficit and all is lost.

You were desperate enough to consider surgery and you are motivated enough to work your butt off exercising. So use that store of will to also take the most important step: by hook or crook determine your TRUE calorie requirements and CONSISTENTLY keep within your budget for the next couple of months. Learn to be sincerely afraid of food that you did not prepare or watch prepared with your own eyes. Avoid going out to eat as much as possible. Strike the word "buffet" from your vocabulary. Don't eat anything without recording it in your diary -- every meal, every snack, every bite and swallow. Get rid of all the junk food in your house if you can't stop nibbling on it. And make sure you stock up your frig with LEAN meats, LIGHT mayo, LOW FAT cheese, TURKEY sausage, LOW CALORIE bread, etc etc etc.

It's a revolution, sister. Be part of it.

SecondChance2012

You story really broke my heart. You are RIGHT. You don't have to have the surgery neither of us can afford. Like others here I know people who have had success with lap band and I also know people who have to have it so tight they're always uncomfortable and throwing up after eating anything at all. As far a gastric by-pass. I know one person who died due to complications from it - years later and another who had a near death experience - her life will never be the same again. I stand shoulder to shoulder with you and all the others who've commented: 1) You CAN do this (if I'm trying to lose 55 lbs at nearly 55 years of age you can do this with me) and 2) After we all get done kicking the doctor who told you that bunch of junk, I think we should take turns force feeding your doctor until they know what it's like to be 100 lbs over weight with no surgical options! JMHO (feel free to friend me)

jenillawafer

What doctors do is called 'practice' anyway. Don't give up! You'll be thanking yourself when you hit that goal weight, trust me. A lifestyle change isn't going to be easy, but it's never too late to start your weight loss journey. Don't let anyone discourage you from being a happier, healthier you.

StarkLark

Two things...

First, the doctor sounds reasonable in my opinion. I don't think there is anything wrong with suggesting a consult for bariatric surgery for a patient who is overweight by 100 lbs. From the doc's perspective, it is a good tool and the statistics show that the many people who are obese will never lose and keep off the weight. Hence the obesity epidemic. Now if the doc actually suggested that she was some sort of lost cause on a personal level, then yeah he or she's an *kitten*.

Second, it is COMPLETELY possible for you to reach your weight loss goals without surgery. Interestingly the old fashioned way requires many of the same things it takes to have a successful long-term weight loss surgery: lifestyle change, focus, research and picking yourself up when you slip or have setbacks. Stick with it, log everything and read up on how to eat healthy. You CAN do it.

*Edited to add: Forget the BMI stuff, it's a formula from the 1800s used for population studies and NOT for individual diagnosis. Focusing on BMI will only distract and discourage you.

Stardiva37

Don't give up.. just try something different..Shawn T also has a video that is called Mark,Move And Groove..it is like insanity but not as intense. But trust me you will sweat and feel the burn. Don't let what they tell define who u r. You just have to find another way to do it.

ttaylor68913

you can do it.. this is a marathon not a sprint.. tell your doc to shove it and prove them wrong, You will feel soo much more accomplished doing it on your own