Heartbroke and defeated...

AmerTunsi

Less than a year ago I was in a similar situation as yourself. I had gone to my doctor and she said where I was told that "people of your size can't lose weight naturally and weight-loss surgery is the only option." I will never forget that day. What the doctor didn't know was that I had already gone to an informational session about having lap-band surgery and had decided that it wasn't right for me. I had gone to my doctor because I thought I could go get a medically supervised type of diet/health plan.

Now, I could have become defensive. I could have let this completely destroy me ... but instead it turned out to be the final thing to have it all "click" in my head.

Maybe it was because I was offended or maybe because I was sad to know this is what is being told to people of my size who were coming to the professionals for help. I wanted to show her it could be done, I wanted to be an example.

So, my first step was to let my doctor know that I had no intention of having weight-loss surgery. I then asked her run a panel of tests to make sure I didn't have any physical ailments besides my weight. Many of the tests she felt were unnecessary and was somewhat stubborn about getting them done, but I was persistent and they got done. I got the tests done and disproved her theory that I may have diabetes (wasn't even pre-diabetic) or cholesterol issues (she admitted that mine were "surprisingly great"). But more importantly for me were the tests that I personally had pushed her to approve. I proved to be right and ended up catching a few things that would have been overlooked and later caused me some issues.

Not to turn this into a long post about my story, but the point is that doctors sometimes need a bit of guidance. I also don't judge so harshly now because I have come to learn that most doctors (especially GP's) weren't given any education on diet, nutrition, and weight-loss. Only now are current Med. students starting to get some basic training and information.

Anyway, I am proud to say that this was almost 10 months and over 133lbs ago.

I kept the same doctor and see her on a regular basis. She now asks me many questions about my methods and also the mental and emotional aspects that I have attributed to my greatest success. She wants to understand and I believe she is now approaching her patients differently.


So what I can say to you is that YOU CAN DO IT and congratulate yourself on not giving up. Be proud of yourself for turning to resources and tools like MFP to help you. I'm a huge supported of MFP and know that I could not have been as successful as I have been without their tools but more importantly the people on here.

And finally, if your interested you can read my blog for more information about my journey and what has helped me.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/AmerTunsi/view/the-secret-198709


Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like. Best of luck on your continued journey.



"Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people."

marlakayallen

I know that you can do this without surgery!! I had the lap band surgery done and the most interesting about that experience was that the doctor that did the surgery tried talking me out of it beforehand. He said "This is only a tool, it isn't a cure." Now, I would say that was a great thing to say because after I initially lost 80 lbs post-surgery, I gained it all back and a little more. All because I didn't have the knowlege nutritionally to keep the weight off. Today, I have lost 40 lbs after being on MFP for a year. This is the BEST way to learn how to eat by recording everything. You know what you are eating and where each calorie is from. My husband mentioned that the diet is very important and I agree. I also think exercise is good for you but doesn't need to be in access as you do to make a difference in your weight. Please remember that you don't need surgery to get where you need to be and keep up the good work, you are worth it.

4rgl

Sorry to say but your doctor is a complete jerk!!

Do things the healthy way and take it slow, don't try to do too much at a time and burn yourself out or get discouraged. One change at a time and soon you will be at your goal weight.

And here is some inspiration for you. Copy paste the link in your browser and watch the video. This guy lost a ton of weight and he couldn't even walk. And doctors had told him he would never be able to walk unassisted, ever again. But he proved everyone wrong. So can you. Just imagine going back to that doctors office when you are at your goal weight and inquiring about a lap band lol

Anyway here is the link:
http://www.thespartanwarrior.com/
video is at the top of the page.

Legals81

Im so mad this stupid doctor told you this. Dont let anyone tell you that you cant do what you want to do! All you need to do is believe in yourself.

Com eon, lets do this together. Im gonna add you.

Kimmer2011

Your doctor is wrong, period. I've lost well over 100 pounds without surgery, and I know there are several others here that can say the same.

Is it hard? You bet, but so is surgery! I've had to have a couple medical procedures this past year (removed a lymph node & put a plate in a broken arm), and they were miserable. Why would you have surgery if you could avoid it? I know that some people do have the surgery and that's their choice, but if you DON'T want it, it isn't impossible to lose weight on your own, no matter what your size.

DoozerDMB

Your "doctor" is an idiot! Find another one - NOW! I have almost 200 lbs to lose
I went for my yearly physical recently. My BP was a little high, cholesterol panel was within range, heart was normal. She insisted that I go for an untrasound....pretty much a full body scan! When I asked why, her comment was.... considering your size, there has to be something wrong. with the exception a gallstones, that i have had fo 12 years, the ultrasound showed everything was normal. She was pretty much floored! She never mentioned surgery. She asked me to meet with a nutritionist for assistance in losing the weight. I pretty much need to get more F/V in my diet, plus water.
So, my doctor could have taken the easy way out and toldme to have surgery....but she didn't.
It's a long, hard road....but it is a doable. It's a lifestyle change that you will have to do for the rest of your life!
Feel free to add me if oyu want/need more support! You CAN and WILL do this!!!!!

droberts3311

I agree, please don't give up! You CAN do this. 1 day @ a time, think of your health and your children. We believe in you. You are in control of the wheel, you prove to him you CAN and WIll. Then go back to see him! Just never give up you are closer then before. I fell off the wagon last night and ate ice cream, we all do it. But the KEY is to get right back up on your feet again. I feel bad that I ate it but I refuse to beat myself up because I am faithful 90% of the time. Good luck, :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

mdmomof4

Don;t do any weight loss surgery, been there done that and Im sorry I did it. I love this site and counting calories even tho its only been 4 days on here I feel better, I love reading the post and I love seeing the weigh loss pictures. Please don't do the surgery.

misskelli22

Do not let that doctor discourage you! You can do it without surgery but it isn't always easy. Honestly, I don't think most doctors even know enough about fitness and nutrition to to give advice on weight loss. If you haven't already, bloodwork may be a good idea to rule out any medical issues, like thyroid or whatever.

Sounds like you need a new doctor, or perhaps a nutritionist or personal trainer would be even better to coach you. Those things can be expensive though, and you can get lots of good advice right here on MFP. Good luck and add me if you like.

Frized

I once thought I was too big also, when I weighed in at 456 pounds. But im happy to say almost three years later I am down to 277 (no surgery, just eating less and exercising daily). Don't give up! Weight loss is not a quick thing; its not going to happen over night and its not going to happen without hard work and dedication (which it sounds like you have no problem applying). I'm no doctor, but your current one sounds like a boob to me. Never give up, your life literally may depend on it. Good luck!

headlock_lynn

Hi Luv,
Don't give up. I know how discouraging it is to try so hard with the exercising and dieting and not feel you are getting anywhere. I too have broke down and cried in the drs office because I was so disgusted with myself and the amount of weight I had put on. All he did was say "are you depressed?" Depression was not the problem, being overweight was. I hoped for some tips and encouragement but all I got was him wanting to put me on depression pills. I said no and didn't take the pills and haven't been back to him. I continued to put on weight and yo-yo'd for a while and allowed stuff at work to overwhelm me so I kept eating. Snacks here, chips there. Gradually my portions got larger. (Funny - I did too can you imagine?) Finally it got to the point where one day I looked in the mirror and said "Lynn, how did you let yourself get this way, you are huge?" Looked at my diet and my exercise and buckled down to it.

Anyway, you are never too large to lose weight so don't let the dr. put that thought in your head. You have loads of support here on MFP. I agree with what most of them are saying, don't overdo the exercising, do have a rest day. Open your diary so we can take a peek and perhaps see where some unwanted calories may be coming from, remember even little things like oil for cooking, sauces, soft drinks, all have calories. Remember to count them in accurately. Don't forget that muscle weighs heavier than fat so the scales won't always reflect the benefits and you are doing yourself some good. Do stick with it and feel free to post your thoughts and downs as we can help lift you up. We are all going through it together. Some lose faster than others. You will start to see a difference. Oh, and get yourself a new dr.

KellyAlyssa84

You can do this! Forget what that quack of a doc said and go prove her wrong!

Good luck!!

adavis59

Honey, you need to find a new doctor. don't give up. In the meantime, you do your part with what you can to start your body on the journey to weight loss- eating healthier, and exercising, even if it's just walking around the block a couple of times. Don't give up!! You have the future of your body/ health in your hands. YOU CAN DO THIS!! You are not the first to go through this, many here have also or are going through your situation. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. You can add me as a friend for support, if you like. We can do this together, sweetie! :flowerforyou:

kris4chloe

You can do this. I am down 95 pounds as of this morning and am not only out of the obese BMI category but am almost in the normal BMI category. If you would have told me 18 months ago I would be here I would have told you that you are crazy.

I went to find out about the lap band, did all the pre-op testing and backed out at the very last minute and decided to give it one more try.

I am so glad I did. I have spent every day focusing on myself, learning about nutrition and exercise and making this lifestyle change my priority.

Add me as a friend, the more friends you have, the more motivation and accountability.

Take it one day at a time, you can do this!!

sparkmanr

Have you had any hormonal tests done at all? Thyroid? Sometimes there are other factors that go into the lack of weight loss when you put so much into it. Definately get a second opinion they are a must no matter what you are going in for. My husband had back surgery and he got three different opinions before he finally had surgery and that was a year and a half later. I know it isn't weight loss but it's similiar. Definately don't give up until you get a second opinion. I've known people who have had lap bad and gastric bypass both. My one friend with lap band looks awesome but she still struggles to keep the weight off and I've known people who have gained major weight back after gastric bypass because they continued to eat and their stomach stretched back out again. Unless there is a medical reason you can't lose weight without surgery I would keep trying. Surgery is drastic and it changes you for a life time in more than just the weightloss factor. Add me as a friend if you need to.

Jeff92se

I still recommend having your food diary looked at

tasiamere

Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

I agree! That is insensitive, unprofessional and plain old idiotic! I wish you the best. Don't give up!

Jeff92se

Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

I agree! That is insensitive, unprofessional and plain old idiotic! I wish you the best. Don't give up!

No. It's time to look at your exercise and nutrition and create a plan for success.

StarkLark

Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

I agree! That is insensitive, unprofessional and plain old idiotic! I wish you the best. Don't give up!

No. It's time to look at your exercise and nutrition and create a plan for success.

I'm still trying to figure out why everyone is piling on the doctor for suggesting a valid medical procedure that helps many people... ah well. Even the OP said the doc didn't push when she said no to the lap band.

ladyjeanne57

I am furious with your doctor!!!! I am 54 years old and weigh 232 pounds and am 5'2". Every pound that is dropped helps your body. I lost 40 pounds from my weight high point and am no longer having issues with sleep apnea. Every single pound helps! And you can lose your weight without surgery! So many people have proved it right here on this site! Get a new doctor!!! Make good choices. Your weight loss so far is a BIG thing. You should be congratulated and encouraged. As you can see by the oh, so many positive remarks here...WE'VE GOT YOUR SIX!

Jeff92se

Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

I agree! That is insensitive, unprofessional and plain old idiotic! I wish you the best. Don't give up!

No. It's time to look at your exercise and nutrition and create a plan for success.

I'm still trying to figure out why everyone is piling on the doctor for suggesting a valid medical procedure that helps many people... ah well. Even the OP said the doc didn't push when she said no to the lap band.

Right. Everyone is telling the doctor to shove it. Great but that doesn't get her any closer to her goal. Forget the damn doctor people! Ask her to open her food diary!

temsabi

Apparently I am so big that I have no hope of dropping of the weight.

Ok, your doctor is a bully. You are NOT too big to lose the weight--no matter what. I am furious for your doctor because it sounds like she's messing with your head. You're doing everything right and the weight will come off! Besides, you're exercising a lot it seems so even if the scale stays the same you're gaining muscle and losing fat so your body will be looking better slowly and surely as long as you don't give up!

My mom worked with people who weighed 450 lbs and got themselves down to 190. Through exercise and dieting. Where there's a will there's a way--and a better, more supportive doctor!!

shaydon80

I agree that your dr is an idiot!
It may take a while but you don't need a quick and easy fix! You need a permanent fix! I've lost 100lbs from my heaviest weight and I am proof that it is possible! Slow and steady wins the race! Just keep at it!

Rowberta

umm, find a new doc... YOU CAN DO IT!!! i added you

ajostraat

There is a lot more to eating healthy and exercising than weight loss!

How are your clothes fitting?
Are you still winded when you walk stairs? hills?
How is the intensity of your workout now compared to when you started?

Look at the whole picture, not just the corner you don't like.

ladyfox1979

Your doctor is probably in cahoots with a lap band surgery clinic and probably gets commissions off referrals.I started at 215 and I am down to 198 in 6 motnths. Its Doable with the right foods and exercise along with commitment, dedication and drive.

F@3k your doctor. You can do it. Just have faith and patience. Add me as a friend if you want to.

chachita7

NEW DOCTOR PLZ................ you can do anything you set your mind to it and you are doing it the healthy way - so give her/him the finger and tell her/him to *kitten* off...

Don't give up... EVER

dash108

Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

THIS!!^^^

Jeff92se

Jesus stop with the doctor thing

leslisa

No. Do not give up. Even if you loose .01 of a pound a week it's still coming off, right. We live how many years? You have time, this is a lifestyle change.

And what the F does that mean, too big to lose weight? I worked in a hospital many years. The only people who couldn't lose weight were the ones with tumors or thyroid issues or another medical condition.

Look down the board at all the people who believe in you. We believe in you and I hope you hold onto your belief in yourself. Cause you can do this. Personally, I admire you. I admire anyone who sticks to anything for so long, especially with such obvious obstacles! You inspire me to push myself.

~~Hugs~~