TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old
Replies
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I breastfed all 5 of my children. The oldest was a year and half. Out of all the disturbing parenting aspect I can think of this isnt one of them.0
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I'm not promoting one way or another but there is a Q&A with the cover lady were she provides more information and reasoning and apparently she has a blog for those of you that are interested.
the Q&A Link - I don't have subscription so i couldn't read the article but I could read this.
http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/10/q-a-with-jamie-lynne-grumet/?iid=obnetwork0 -
Breastfeeding is great for infants. If you can do it, I think you should.
But this whole "it's totally natural so I should be able to do it in everyone's faces whenever I want" crap is tired. Sex is totally "natural" too, and you'd be horrified if someone started doing THAT in the middle of a restaurant. One thing that no one seems to consider: I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
Sex =/= breast feeding on any planet. You can go an entire lifetime without sex (although I wouldn't want to). you cannot go an entire lifetime without eating. I really think that equating the two is quite ignorant.0 -
I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
What conversation? "That is a breast, mommies use it to feed their children". And done.
Yeah seriously... They even show and talk about it in Sesame Street...
I actually HAVE a three year old. He's asked what my breasts were - I told him. I didn't say, "Oh they're associated with sex". :huh:0 -
I'll add it to the list of "things that don't affect my life even a little."
This. Thank you. I had a fleeting thought when I saw the cover - then stopped thinking about it. End of story.
I'm also not a mother yet. So maybe I will feel differently, one way or another, when I am.0 -
I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
What conversation? "That is a breast, mommies use it to feed their children". And done.
Genius! Thanks for that. I will be sure to ask you whenever I need to explain anything about life to a child!
Bottom line: you want your opinions respected, but don't feel the need to respect anyone else's. At least we cleared that up.0 -
I find nothing wrong with the picture or extended BF if Mom and Child are comfortable with it.
But the caption on the cover really bothers me.
I didn't particularly care for how the photo was composed, and I have NO problem with extended BF.
But I COMPLETELY agree with the caption.
"Are you mom enough?"
:noway:0 -
For me personally, I think once the child grows teeth, it is time to pump and give your child the breast milk from a bottle.0
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I am not a mother.
Having done some research on BFing, however, I have read there are A LOT of different things that are positive about breast milk, so I could see why the idea of BFing till they are older would be a benefit.
My problem with it is, you ween children off bottles, "binkies", out of cribs, etc - So why wouldn't you just put the pumped breast milk into a cup? Mixed with cereal or oatmeal?
1) not everyone forces a ween at all.
2) pumping takes time (I would pump 30 - 45 minutes at a time), nursing takes far less time as it is natures way of extracting the milk and therefore generally the most efficient, and although many of the benefits still exist when storing it for the prescribed period and using it (which how you described is another way we got milk into our kiddo) it does lose something in the storing process. It's best directly from the breast.
Great points on the above.
I guess my concerns for people not weening (and working in a dentist office, I saw a lot of this first hand...little sister included) is that kids actually have problems with their teeth (not so much from breast feeding, but bottles and binkies). Long term use of those two objects specifically can cause major problems with a gap forming in the middle of their front teeth and as well as speech disorders - Obviously, this part has nothing to do with breastfeeding, specifically the weening portion. As a nipple is not a plastic material, I wouldn't imagine it would cause the same problems.
As for part two, pumping does take time, but my god sons mother would pump and I dont remember it ever taking that long? Maybe it was the type of machine?0 -
Breastfeeding is great for infants. If you can do it, I think you should.
But this whole "it's totally natural so I should be able to do it in everyone's faces whenever I want" crap is tired. Sex is totally "natural" too, and you'd be horrified if someone started doing THAT in the middle of a restaurant. One thing that no one seems to consider: I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
Sex =/= breast feeding on any planet. You can go an entire lifetime without sex (although I wouldn't want to). you cannot go an entire lifetime without eating. I really think that equating the two is quite ignorant.
What's ignorant is reading this as "equating" sex and breasfeeding. I was merely showing that the "it's totally natural" argument is entirely unsound.0 -
For me personally, I think once the child grows teeth, it is time to pump and give your child the breast milk from a bottle.
I thought the same thing, but my daughter got teeth at 2.5 months, lol. Luckily she's not a biter or I might not have been able to keep it up! lol 0 -
My kids were both walking, talking, signing little people with teeth by the age of 6 months- so the whole "if they can ask for it they are too old" is a load of bull. My son got his first 2 bottom teeth at 3 months- so that the whole "once they have teeth" is bull.
I have no idea why people feel the need to be so antagonistic.
Just because someone’s opinion differs with yours, doesn’t mean it’s “bull”. It’s a personal opinion. Everyone is entitled to one.
The fact that I don’t like the thought of breastfeeding a child with teeth does not make my opinion inferior to yours. Clearly you don’t have any difficulty with it and that’s great. I’m just saying, I might!
It’s a shame in this day and age people can’t give their own, honest opinions without being blasted for them. I think it would be quite nice if women could share their thoughts and instead of being met with “that’s bull” were asked “why do you feel that way?” or told “oh don’t worry about it – it’s not as painful as you’d think” or something that might actually educate them and put their minds at rest or at least help them understand a bit better!0 -
I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
What conversation? "That is a breast, mommies use it to feed their children". And done.
Genius! Thanks for that. I will be sure to ask you whenever I need to explain anything about life to a child!
Bottom line: you want your opinions respected, but don't feel the need to respect anyone else's. At least we cleared that up.
Disagreeing with you doesn't equal disrespecting your opinion.....0 -
I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
What conversation? "That is a breast, mommies use it to feed their children". And done.
Yeah seriously... They even show and talk about it in Sesame Street...
I actually HAVE a three year old. He's asked what my breasts were - I told him. I didn't say, "Oh they're associated with sex". :huh:
My oldest son was confused when he saw a baby drinking from a bottle (he was used to me nursing his younger brother), he said to me.. "Doesn't she know that is what those are for" as he was pointing to my chest. My response to him was, "some feed their babies with a bottle and some do it themselves, as long as they are taking care of their babies, that's all that matters". Problem solved, end of questions and he has zero judgement for how other mommies feed their babies.0 -
Breastfeeding itself is a wonderful thing, if you can do it - but personally I have an issue doing it to that age. I think if they're toilet trained, can feed themselves, be independent in many ways, and stand on chairs lol, then it's too old. I would find it weird to hear my child say 'Mom, I'm thirsty, can I have some milk from your breast?' Maybe exaggerating but you get the picture.0
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There are plenty of ways to raise a child. Caring seems to be the key. Who knew?
Truth, dude. If there was one perfect way, why would anyone be doing it any other way?0 -
Additionally, from a nutritional standpoint, it's totally unnecessary. Mammals nurse their young until they are able to receive adequate nutrition from solid foods. Once a child (or puppy, or kitten, etc) is old enough to eat real solid food, there is no need for breast milk any longer, as they can now receive all necessary nutrients via food sources. So, in short, it is completely nutritionally UNNECESSARY to breastfeed a child once they are able to eat a diet completely consisting of solid food (not baby food, but actual food---so really, probably about 2 years old).
There are a lot of organizations that tend to be authorities on the subject that disagree with what you stated.
Yup.
I'm sure there is plenty of info to show how very beneficial it is but not NECESSARY. It is not completely necessary to breastfeed a child once they can receive proper nutrition from food. Also, a woman's breast milk is only as good as what she consumes food-wise. That's were a parent's role comes into play to make sure they are providing nutritious foods for their children--something many of us fall down on. Beneficial? Absolutely. I'm all about breastfeeding, and although I couldn't for very long last time (trust me, I tried EVERYTHING and couldn't produce enough to go longer than 3 months), I'd love to breastfeed until my next child is about 2. I mean, it's probably beneficial to drink breast milk until we're like 15, but 100% necessary? Not at all. If it were actually necessary to breastfeed until a child is 3 or 4, don't you think more people would be doing it? I think there is quite a grey area there from when it stops being about nutrition for the child and starts being about the mother not wanting to stop.0 -
There are plenty of ways to raise a child. Caring seems to be the key. Who knew?
Truth, dude. If there was one perfect way, why would anyone be doing it any other way?
Haha, this would be the perfect end to this thread
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I am not a mother.
Having done some research on BFing, however, I have read there are A LOT of different things that are positive about breast milk, so I could see why the idea of BFing till they are older would be a benefit.
My problem with it is, you ween children off bottles, "binkies", out of cribs, etc - So why wouldn't you just put the pumped breast milk into a cup? Mixed with cereal or oatmeal?
1) not everyone forces a ween at all.
2) pumping takes time (I would pump 30 - 45 minutes at a time), nursing takes far less time as it is natures way of extracting the milk and therefore generally the most efficient, and although many of the benefits still exist when storing it for the prescribed period and using it (which how you described is another way we got milk into our kiddo) it does lose something in the storing process. It's best directly from the breast.
Great points on the above.
I guess my concerns for people not weening (and working in a dentist office, I saw a lot of this first hand...little sister included) is that kids actually have problems with their teeth (not so much from breast feeding, but bottles and binkies). Long term use of those two objects specifically can cause major problems with a gap forming in the middle of their front teeth and as well as speech disorders - Obviously, this part has nothing to do with breastfeeding, specifically the weening portion. As a nipple is not a plastic material, I wouldn't imagine it would cause the same problems.
As for part two, pumping does take time, but my god sons mother would pump and I dont remember it ever taking that long? Maybe it was the type of machine?
I think that pumping is dependent on the mom. I know some people who can pump rather quickly. I always took a while (about 30 or more minutes) because I was slow at letting down with a machine. Not so when I was bf-ing. I don't think it was the machine because I work at a hospital and used the hospital issue medela pump. Just my experience.0 -
Sex =/= breast feeding on any planet. You can go an entire lifetime without sex (although I wouldn't want to). you cannot go an entire lifetime without eating. I really think that equating the two is quite ignorant.
I think you missed the point - OR, I took the posters comment that you quoted differently.
You are entitled to one opinion. Someone else is entitled to their opinion. Respect the fact that you shoudl agree to disagree. One you start name calling (or about as close as you can to it in your case), you lose the argument. Fundamentals of debate.0 -
I breast fed my son up until he was around six months old. At that point he was getting to big and it seemed awkward so I started pumping and feeding him with a bottle until he was 1. Breast feeding a 3 or 4 year old just seems wrong. Pump and give it to them in a cup if you feel that they still need breast milk.
Not sure if anyone watches Game of Thrones but the kid in the first season (I haven't seen the second season yet) sitting there attached to his moms boob at the age of 6 or 7 just grossed me out! I know that is just a tv show but the bad thing is I just came across an article on Boston.com a few weeks ago that talked about a pre-schooler who still breast fed. What the heck is wrong with these people!
There is nothing "wrong" with these people. they choose to parent differently than you do. I'm sorry you were uncomfortable breastfeeding your child, but the bond between the parent and the child that occurs with the act of breastfeeding goes beyond just providing them with breastmilk.0 -
I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
Really, there are SO many things that "should be kept in private" for that reason, then.
If I want to use this, "If you respect others, you should do this in private" I would ask that no one
Pray in public
Consume meat in public
Have pinup tattoos without wearing long sleeved shirts
Wear low cut tops
drink alcohol in public
... I dunno. I can think of a lot of conversations I'm not ready to have with my nonexistent 3 year old, but I'm not going to ask anyone to alter their lives to avoid them.0 -
i support breastfeeding...breastfeeding in public...breastfeeding until your child and you are done with it....what i dont support is TIME magazine pitting mothers against mothers on mother's day weekend because we all make our own choices based on what is right for our children and ourselves....i do not appreciate the magazine implying that women who do not nurse 3-4-5-6-7 yr olds or even infants and toddlers for that matter are NOT MOM ENOUGH...i'm mom enough for my children and that is all that matters to me and to them....that is what i dont appreciate...0
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I think that pumping is dependent on the mom. I know some people who can pump rather quickly. I always took a while (about 30 or more minutes) because I was slow at letting down with a machine. Not so when I was bf-ing. I don't think it was the machine because I work at a hospital and used the hospital issue medela pump. Just my experience.
Well said. I can see your point in the above.0 -
i do not appreciate the magazine implying that women who do not nurse 3-4-5-6-7 yr olds or even infants and toddlers for that matter are NOT MOM ENOUGH...i'm mom enough for my children and that is all that matters to me and to them....that is what i dont appreciate...
"Like"0 -
^^^That's what I said...TWICE! But, apparently, no one read my comment because two different people have made that same ridiculous argument.
The reason that you don't latch a child on to a cow is because the cow isn't the child's mother, and therefore is not designed to provide milk to a human via its teats. Your assertion that a toddler nursing from his own mother is in anyway comparable to a child sucking on the teats of a cow is absolutely absurd. We milk cows and drink that milk from a vessel because we aren't of the same species and we aren't their offspring. That has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether or not it's appropriate for a child to nurse at his own mother's breasts.
I'm still waiting on all the empirical evidence that nursing past an arbitrary age is detrimental. I'm sure that since so many people feel confident enough to contradict the advice of every major medical body in the world, they must have some really good research to back them up. Once again, here is what the WHO has to say- http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/statements/2011/breastfeeding_20110115/en/index.html
The people who made that argument (I can't remember if you were one of them or not), were asserting that people aren't upset by the idea of feeding their child cow's milk, so what's the big deal about giving them breast milk. I was saying that people would be just as disgusted by the idea of having a child suck on a cow's teat as they are about this. I wasn't saying it was inappropriate to give a child breast milk. I was saying it was inappropriate to put your child (at any age) on the cover of a national magazine standing in chair and feeding from your breast. THAT's what most people here find so upsetting. Read my WHOLE comment before you rush to judgement.
Edited to add: For the record, I'm not the one who made the comparison in the first place, anyway. My whole point was that it was ridiculous to defend breastfeeding a child (of any age) with such an argument.0 -
I find nothing wrong with the picture or extended BF if Mom and Child are comfortable with it.
But the caption on the cover really bothers me.
I didn't particularly care for how the photo was composed, and I have NO problem with extended BF.
But I COMPLETELY agree with the caption.
"Are you mom enough?"
:noway:
Totally agree with that about the caption. Kinda put me off, my first reaction was "Ummmm HELL YEAH I'M MOM ENOUGH!" kind felt like it was a dig at any mom who's not an extended bf-er or an attachment parent...ALL moms are mom enough! (with a few exceptions...y'all know what I mean).0 -
i support breastfeeding...breastfeeding in public...breastfeeding until your child and you are done with it....what i dont support is TIME magazine pitting mothers against mothers on mother's day weekend because we all make our own choices based on what is right for our children and ourselves....i do not appreciate the magazine implying that women who do not nurse 3-4-5-6-7 yr olds or even infants and toddlers for that matter are NOT MOM ENOUGH...i'm mom enough for my children and that is all that matters to me and to them....that is what i dont appreciate...
WORD.0 -
Oh wow, this is just one more of those “look at me…look at me” type things… you want to BF… so what, knock yourself out, want to BF until he’s 20, whatever, your problem not mine. The problem is those people that have to ram it down society’s throats. No one cares that you do so long as you don’t put the child in danger, want to be gay, so what, do your thing.. want to marry a head of lettuce and adopt a goat as your love child? Don’t give a crap..
The problem comes that you (those people) feel the need to stand in the intersection and scream it to the world, LOOK AT ME…LOOK AT ME… Look how special and unique I am, you HAVE to accept me now, it’s my right.. BFD.. guess what when you flaunt it all over, it’s my right not to agree.. Seriously??
Do whatever you want to do, it’s your offspring and your choice, but geez, do not feel the need to smack it in the faces of everyone else, we’re busy living our lives. (and yes, ratings sells magazines unfortunately, society loves a trainwreck)0 -
I find nothing wrong with the picture or extended BF if Mom and Child are comfortable with it.
But the caption on the cover really bothers me.
I didn't particularly care for how the photo was composed, and I have NO problem with extended BF.
But I COMPLETELY agree with the caption.
"Are you mom enough?"
:noway:
Totally agree with that about the caption. Kinda put me off, my first reaction was "Ummmm HELL YEAH I'M MOM ENOUGH!" kind felt like it was a dig at any mom who's not an extended bf-er or an attachment parent...ALL moms are mom enough! (with a few exceptions...y'all know what I mean).
Seriously! I know moms who formula feed, I breast feed and I know some who extend breastfed... All great moms ! Just because you feed your child one way or the other doesnt mean one cares about their child more or less...
But people telling moms theyre sick or wrong for doin any of the three pisses me off.0
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