TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old
Replies
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Time magazine certainly did their job well. Everyone's talking about it.
To me, the photo was more about the breast, and less about the feed. She looks anything but attached to her child, she's about as detached as a mother could possibly be with a child at her breast.
Personally, I aimed for a year with both my children and would have been fine until 2. But the first weaned at 14 months, the second at 11 months. Took less than a week for each and they practically didn't even notice. I remember things from when I was 3 and I would be uncomfortable with my sons remembering breastfeeding.0 -
i dont find breast feeding wrong, i did it with both of my kids. i find the picture disturbing though. the kid is standing on a chair (which is creepy) and he doesn't look like he is feeding. i understand holding the child close while sitting and such but the picture that they used does brother me a little.0
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Breastfeeding... how in 2012 is this still even a debate-filled subject??
We are mammals last time I checked and the purpose of breastfeeding is EXACTLY why women have breasts. I BF both of my children until 6 months. This wasn't a choice... my boss' at work did not accommodate my pumping needs and therefore had to wean earlier than I would have liked.
That said... my step daughter self weaned around 2 1/2.
As another poster stated, in other countries no one questions when a mother BF's her child in public NOR the age of the child.
Wow, in Maine your boss has to provide a quiet, clean and private place for you to pump. And it can't be a restroom.
Yeah... I was provided with a supply closest my first day back because I refused the restroom option - I actually asked if they would like me to wash their salad in the restroom sink.. the look of disgust on their face was priceless... I said that the equipment I use is just as sterile as the sink they want used. I also wondered (allowed of course) what the DOL would think of their lack of lactating support.
The next day the HR manager offered me HER office to start using. Though I was still only allowed by 2-10minute breaks and 30-minute lunch. So.. I had to work an additional hour every day to have extra break time because 10 minutes isn't enough time to wash, set up, pump, break down, wash and get back to my cubicle before the allowed time. And God forbid you were a minute late you would be written up.
Oh, that's so frustrating! Sorry you had to deal with such unaccommodating bosses. I agree, 10 minutes definitely is not long enough. I usually took about a half hour, so I guess I would be pumping and eating lunch at the same time! Haha:laugh:
I usually ate at my desk before I went to pump. You should have seen the drama it caused when I wanted to change my break / lunch schedule to fit w/ what their 'normal' feeding times were as that was what my body was used to. The manager one day said I couldn't go yet because someone else wasn't back. I said well, I need to go and he gave me a pointed look that pretty much said a hell of a lot w/ no words. So I sat at my desk. 5 minutes later I said that I needed to go home and change and that I would be taking the rest of the day off WITH pay. When he asked why I unfolded my arms to reveal a very wet shirt. Yup... when it's time it is time... told him it was akin to telling someone they couldn't go to the bathroom; since he refused to allow me to go I was going home. I was embarrassed but pissed off enough that I think they were worried about my taking the issues further!0 -
Well obviously any woman who is co-sleeping with their kids over 6 months old is not going to come on here and say...ya you are right, my husband hates it and he only does it cause he is "whipped" and overwhelmed and has no choice.
Men are men, they love their children but they do not want to share their wives breasts with them for any longer than is needed and they certainly don't want to share their beds with those darling children either....
They want relations with their wives, their privacy with their spouse and their sleep....... in that order.....oh and don't forget a sandwich
You may have som points,, but at some time, a man has to grow up and realize he is not the baby anymore...boom! Sex can happen in many different places and not just "at night, in the bed, under the covers, before we sleep". Women want relations with their husbands to be a little more interesting that that...oh and don't forget the chocolate!0 -
Well obviously any woman who is co-sleeping with their kids over 6 months old is not going to come on here and say...ya you are right, my husband hates it and he only does it cause he is "whipped" and overwhelmed and has no choice.
Men are men, they love their children but they do not want to share their wives breasts with them for any longer than is needed and they certainly don't want to share their beds with those darling children either....
They want relations with their wives, their privacy with their spouse and their sleep....... in that order.....oh and don't forget a sandwich
People always think that the only place you can have sex is in your bed . . . the bed is nice, but so is the sofa, the back seat of the car, the front seat of the car, the kitchen floor, the shower, the bathroom counter. I don't co-sleep, but if I did the last thing I'd be worried about is whether or not I can still find places to be intimate. We moved my DS into his room because DH snores like a wood chopper and it was waking DS up at night, he gets better sleep in there. If he'd gotten better sleep in our room he would have stayed there quite a bit longer.0 -
Well obviously any woman who is co-sleeping with their kids over 6 months old is not going to come on here and say...ya you are right, my husband hates it and he only does it cause he is "whipped" and overwhelmed and has no choice.
Men are men, they love their children but they do not want to share their wives breasts with them for any longer than is needed and they certainly don't want to share their beds with those darling children either....
They want relations with their wives, their privacy with their spouse and their sleep....... in that order.....oh and don't forget a sandwich
Oh get back in the kitchen :laugh:0 -
Co sleeping can be quite dangerous.0
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To each their own and all that.
I am PRO Breastfeeding.
What concerns me:
HOW DOES THIS WOMAN/THIS MAGAZINE AFFECT ANY OF YOU!?!?
Really. Think about it. Other than the fact that each and every poster to this thread(including me, now) CHOSE to react to this, does it REALLY affect your life?
Leave her and her kid and any other happy mother&child ALONE.
Live your own GD life.0 -
Quite honestly I think this whole "attachment parenting" thing is a crock of shi$$. !!
Letting kids sleep in your bed ( co-sleeping) and nursing till they are in school is ridiculous ! Bunch of tree hugging, granola eating nonsense...
If you don't teach your children how to be independent and confident and go to sleep without nursing or sleeping with their parents you are not doing them ANY favors !
The reason divorce rate is so high now is because of crap like "co- sleeping" husbands and wives don't honor each other any more, it's all about the kids... you picked your spouse first, start acting like a spouse.
Nothing makes me more annoyed than wives who once they have a baby they ignore their husband and their marraiges and everything revolves around the kids..
Life is about balance, getting all of your needs met by breastfeeding your kids or sleeping with them till they are 5 is not the way.....
I have 4 children, ages 8-21, all well adjusted kids who excel in school and college. They are love me very much, they were all breastfed till they had teeth and guess what..... I am still married, and they slept in their own beds and had bedtimes and routines and they were not the little hellions running around the stores or up all night in restaurants with adults having meals....
UGH
Let me guess.. if we all don't eat like you, do your exact workout routines or have the same political afflications as you we're all wrong too. Not all kids are the same and some require different parenting approaches. I don't need or want your validation of how I raise my children. My 5 & 3 year old, get complimented for how well they behave when we are out in public.. including last night when the lady waiting our table gave them free ice cream beacuse she was so impressed by them. My husband and I have zero prombles with the sleeping arrangments in our house and make sure we "take care of" each other. So please, take your broad sweeping paint brush you paint the world with elsewhere.. since facts aren't needed to prove anything in your eyes.. the way you do it, is the only way that counts.0 -
i support breastfeeding...breastfeeding in public...breastfeeding until your child and you are done with it....what i dont support is TIME magazine pitting mothers against mothers on mother's day weekend because we all make our own choices based on what is right for our children and ourselves....i do not appreciate the magazine implying that women who do not nurse 3-4-5-6-7 yr olds or even infants and toddlers for that matter are NOT MOM ENOUGH...i'm mom enough for my children and that is all that matters to me and to them....that is what i dont appreciate...
nicely said....0 -
AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think the only reason the cover was gross was because of the way the two were posed. It was posed as a sexual looking scene rather than a natural, nuturing moment.
Yes, this right here.0 -
I figure once the choppers show up, it's time to put 'em to use.0
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I personally found the picture disturbing but it isn't because of the breast feeding I don't like the way the picture is presented, it was done that way to shock and nothing more. I haven't read the story attached to the picture but I sure hope it was presented in a much better light.0
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Well obviously any woman who is co-sleeping with their kids over 6 months old is not going to come on here and say...ya you are right, my husband hates it and he only does it cause he is "whipped" and overwhelmed and has no choice.
Men are men, they love their children but they do not want to share their wives breasts with them for any longer than is needed and they certainly don't want to share their beds with those darling children either....
They want relations with their wives, their privacy with their spouse and their sleep....... in that order.....oh and don't forget a sandwich
You may have som points,, but at some time, a man has to grow up and realize he is not the baby anymore...boom! Sex can happen in many different places and not just "at night, in the bed, under the covers, before we sleep". Women want relations with their husbands to be a little more interesting that that...oh and don't forget the chocolate!
My bad...you're a girl. Well, either way...0 -
Co sleeping can be quite dangerous.
Yes, in some situations it can be. But so can letting them sleep in a crib.0 -
Breast feeding is only wrong when done by Peter Griffin0
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Breastfeeding... how in 2012 is this still even a debate-filled subject??
We are mammals last time I checked and the purpose of breastfeeding is EXACTLY why women have breasts. I BF both of my children until 6 months. This wasn't a choice... my boss' at work did not accommodate my pumping needs and therefore had to wean earlier than I would have liked.
That said... my step daughter self weaned around 2 1/2.
As another poster stated, in other countries no one questions when a mother BF's her child in public NOR the age of the child.
Wow, in Maine your boss has to provide a quiet, clean and private place for you to pump. And it can't be a restroom.
Yeah... I was provided with a supply closest my first day back because I refused the restroom option - I actually asked if they would like me to wash their salad in the restroom sink.. the look of disgust on their face was priceless... I said that the equipment I use is just as sterile as the sink they want used. I also wondered (allowed of course) what the DOL would think of their lack of lactating support.
The next day the HR manager offered me HER office to start using. Though I was still only allowed by 2-10minute breaks and 30-minute lunch. So.. I had to work an additional hour every day to have extra break time because 10 minutes isn't enough time to wash, set up, pump, break down, wash and get back to my cubicle before the allowed time. And God forbid you were a minute late you would be written up.
Oh, that's so frustrating! Sorry you had to deal with such unaccommodating bosses. I agree, 10 minutes definitely is not long enough. I usually took about a half hour, so I guess I would be pumping and eating lunch at the same time! Haha:laugh:
I usually ate at my desk before I went to pump. You should have seen the drama it caused when I wanted to change my break / lunch schedule to fit w/ what their 'normal' feeding times were as that was what my body was used to. The manager one day said I couldn't go yet because someone else wasn't back. I said well, I need to go and he gave me a pointed look that pretty much said a hell of a lot w/ no words. So I sat at my desk. 5 minutes later I said that I needed to go home and change and that I would be taking the rest of the day off WITH pay. When he asked why I unfolded my arms to reveal a very wet shirt. Yup... when it's time it is time... told him it was akin to telling someone they couldn't go to the bathroom; since he refused to allow me to go I was going home. I was embarrassed but pissed off enough that I think they were worried about my taking the issues further!
Good for you standing up for yourself! I know people that would have just put on a sweater or something. I completely know that feeling though, now or else!0 -
Breast feeding is only wrong when done by Peter Griffin
Or creepy Jim Carrey.0 -
I'm against Time Magazine for pitting mothers against each other. And doing it on Mother's Day.
Agreed!!!0 -
Co sleeping can be quite dangerous.
Yes, in some situations it can be. But so can letting them sleep in a crib.
Co-sleeping is not advised to parents in england/ireland. As it does/can lead to child deaths. Cot is far far safer.0 -
Obviously I know about relations in other places but the bedroom.... but the couples I have spoken to about this very topic in real life don't do that either...bedroom or not who have kids up to all hours of the night and co sleeping in their bedrooms....
I have counselled many husbands who tell me these things, it's not made up in my mind ladies ... I have experience in this.
That was the point I made...not that relations only happen in the bedroom....how boring is that LOL0 -
I'll be breastfeeding my son until he's 3 or 4.
I'm 19 years old, and I made that decision the moment he was born - i want to give him the best, i produce plenty of milk, why shouldn't i? it's not disgusting, it's natural. sure, not everyone wants to, and that's completely their choice, but just remember that the international weaning age is between 4-7 years; it's only because breasts have become so sexualized that we find it 'weird'.
Good for you!!
Americans have such a scewed vision on breastfeeding. I nursed my son til he was 19 months old and go soo many comments about how disgusting that it was. Now, my daughter is 8 months and im getting the when is she going to be done ?s. The WHO suggests nursing until 2. http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/0 -
Well obviously any woman who is co-sleeping with their kids over 6 months old is not going to come on here and say...ya you are right, my husband hates it and he only does it cause he is "whipped" and overwhelmed and has no choice.
Men are men, they love their children but they do not want to share their wives breasts with them for any longer than is needed and they certainly don't want to share their beds with those darling children either....
They want relations with their wives, their privacy with their spouse and their sleep....... in that order.....oh and don't forget a sandwich
You may have som points,, but at some time, a man has to grow up and realize he is not the baby anymore...boom! Sex can happen in many different places and not just "at night, in the bed, under the covers, before we sleep". Women want relations with their husbands to be a little more interesting that that...oh and don't forget the chocolate!
My bad...you're a girl. Well, either way...
yes I am a woman, and if you didn't know that from my profile pic than....THANKS !! hahahaha.....
Funny how that may change things knowing a woman thinks this way though......0 -
As for part two, pumping does take time, but my god sons mother would pump and I dont remember it ever taking that long? Maybe it was the type of machine?
I used a Medela Freestyle, and that's the Cadillac of personal use machines. It depends on a lot of things as for how long it will take. How established the supply would be is a big one. Breast milk works on a supply/demand system. If you need a bigger supply, you pump more (or nurse your child more) to get your body to start producing more. And, as previously mentioned up thread, it's not as efficient as nursing the child directly from the breast.
I've had times during pumping where it was a struggle to get an ounce, but towards the end when I was weaning myself from pumping (and anyone who says "just quit cold turkey" doesn't necessarily realize that can hurt and possibly even cause an infection in the breast from engorgement) with my first, I got 17 ounces in an hour. That's a lot when one has a one month old who is only taking in about 20 ounces in a day.
All pumping situations are not the same, simply because all boobs don't produce at the same rate. Some women who can breastfeed successfully can't get more than an ounce out of a hospital grade pump.0 -
What's ignorant is reading this as "equating" sex and breasfeeding. I was merely showing that the "it's totally natural" argument is entirely unsound.
What would be more reasonable would be comparing a kid eating from the breast to you eating a turkey sandwich.0 -
AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think the only reason the cover was gross was because of the way the two were posed. It was posed as a sexual looking scene rather than a natural, nuturing moment.
Yes, this right here.
DING DING DING...winner!!! No mother props her child on a chair to suck on her breast! Time magazine took something that is very special and turned it into something tacky.
Also, I nursed my 5th son until he was almost 3 and it was not disgusting, it was very special....BUT, he NEVER stood on a chair and fed! We cuddled and I loved every single second of it.0 -
I'm against Time Magazine for pitting mothers against each other. And doing it on Mother's Day.
Yeah, I read the article. My mom had 12 kids and breast fed em all. Stopped at 8 months average she says. My wife breast fed both my kids. Once they had teeth and started biting, she pumped and gave em boob juice in a bottle. I support the method. But the pic is definately wierd. My mom thought so too. This will pit moms against moms, and make money for TIME.0 -
My thoughts about breastfeeding at that age are bias because I don't have a child, so I don't know what it's like and how it feels and the attachments you get from doing it. But I think the cover is a little odd in the fact of how they are placed. Maybe if the child was in her arms breastfeeding it would have been warming, but he is standing up straight like a dictator, and he is standing on a chair with her boob in his mouth! I don't see a loving relationship between the two of them at all! I see her saying, hey try and say something to me about breastfeeding my 4 year old! And the caption says," are you mother enough?" I don't think you can tell whether someone is a good mother based on those guidlines! There are perfectly good mothers out there that maybe can't breastfeed their child!
But HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!! LOL :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm against Time Magazine for pitting mothers against each other. And doing it on Mother's Day.
This times infinity!0 -
If the child can walk, talk, and chew, its time to stop breastfeeding.
NO NO NO! BOTH my son's walked at nine months old! I nursed my oldest for THREE sad miserable months, and then my youngest for 16 amazing months!! I sorry to jump on all this with this statement alone (because outright I do not agree with ANY of the negative comments AT ALL!) I can not believe some of the harsh opinions and such misguided information and I truly feel sorry for you. Comments like yours are what drive people to NOT nurse in public because they don't want to feel disgusting when they are doing something so simple. You don't have to watch, you don't have to explain anything to anyone nothing and by breasts being SOOOOOOOOOOOOO over the top sexualized in our country well duh of course you are going to feel uncomfortable.
*I tried pumping but once you really get going it's hard to get enough BECAUSE your baby will aways be a better pump then an electric one.
*I also used something called a hooter hider (very cute look for them on EBAY) but by the time I get settled down, my little guy would always flip the covers since he would get hot and then everyone got a much better show...that didn't last long....
Honestly, I STILL miss nursing. If there was anything I got out of it, it was knowing that THAT was the ONLY thing I had to do at that moment. It was a break in my day...it's kind of hard to multi task when you are nursing. It made me sit down and relax. And the comments about pacifiers...wth...As long as baby is in nursing mode then he will use mom as a pacifier...how do you think her body otherwise figures out baby's needs and makes more milk? UGH....I hate stupid people...
As for the cover of TIME...kuddo's for the mom who is on the cover..it takes ovaries of steal to really put yourself out there like that. Some of my favorite pictures are of me nursing my kids. I will NEVER regret having those pictures because they were only that little ONCE.0
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