TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old
Replies
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Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol0
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Honestly, I don't imagine 10 years from now, any of todays 3 yr olds will be looking at old copies of Time and recognizing their classmate.
Maybe if this kid grows up to be a Presidential candidate or celebrity somebody might dig this up but in 30-40 years will anyone really care?0 -
Didn't read all 1,000 pages of replies but my thoughts on that picture:
Why YES! Of course! This is the way to do it ladies, mom's. Put the kid on a stool, wear a shirt like that and stand there with your hand on your hip until he's full!!
Totally normal and the way I would do it!
Gawd. How silly can you possibly get? I don't really care if a mother wants to breast feed her kid until he's 13, but when I watched her being interviewed on TV this morning and she said she was "surprised" by how much attention this was getting, well: WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?? Of course people are going to 'talk'. It's a weird picture!
Not the fact that she's breast feeding, just how she's doing it.0 -
I never said you "hated your husband" but ya.... pretty much..... a 16 month old belongs in her own little bed, tucked in, warm cozy and by 7pm.... so you and your husband can have a relationship outside of being parents....
She is now, but co-sleeping was a mutual decision made by us, meaning my husband and myself. We never had a problem being husband and wife either. I just hate sweeping generalizations. Not everyone is the same.
Oh, and my husband has plenty of "spine" as you put it.0 -
Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol
Blanket, ignorant statements are FUN!0 -
ditto- to each his own.I'll add it to the list of "things that don't affect my life even a little."0 -
Personally, I was more offended with the title than the pic, tho the pic was pretty disturbing... (I am not against BF, but have a difference of opinion when the infant/toddler turns becomes a child)0
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I am ALL for breastfeeding our babies whenever and wherever they are hungry. BUT. What happens when the child plastered on the front of this magazine is in middle school? Kids are MEAN at that age, and with the internet out there, all it takes is one person finding that picture and making the kid's life hell. I do not find anything offensive about breastfeeding. I find it offensive that something private and personal is being exploited to sell magazines.
I agree completely!0 -
Seriously!I'm against Time Magazine for pitting mothers against each other. And doing it on Mother's Day.0 -
I have no problem with the age of the child. I breastfed all 6 of my kids and did one son until he was almost 3. BUT, it was always around nap time or bed time and he was not standing on a stinking chair sucking my boob.
This is a very poor picture. It would be different if she was snuggled in bed with him or sitting on the sofa cuddled with him. Breast feeding is a bonding time...not "snack time" from playing...and that is how that picture looks...like he was outside playing and pulled the chair up to her boobs.
So, nursing a 3 year old child is not disgusting, it was how the picture was done...very tacky!0 -
As a continuation of being completely off topic here's my opionion:
people who breastfeed: that's great for them
people who don't breastfeed: that's great for them, glad we have options
people who breastfeed until x age: that's great for them, glad they have options
people who breastfeed in public: awesome
people who don't brestfeed in public: awesome
None of these things make a woman more or less of a woman.
Why are there crusaiders? Because we have debates in this day and age in Western society regarding people's opinions on the appropriatness of such things. Whether or not to nurse is a "decision" of the person lactating (some women do, some women don't want to, some women can't, some women don't raise that child full time or at all) and the child, and should strictly remain that way. Whether or not nursing is a part of the child rearing process and the length of time that it occurs really is no one's business. The benefits can't be refuted, but the length of time that one or both receive benefit can be debated (and have been) for years. I don't really see how it's disgusting, or how it's anybody's business. Mostly the "crusaiders" want people to understand that what they're doing isn't unnatural, is only uncommon in certain societies, and that we have choices.
That being said, I didn't read the article, but I will say that anyone who judges someone for not nursing or not nursing long enough is just as ignorant as someone judging a woman for nursing or for nursing to their definition of too long.0 -
Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol
My husband has no issue with it. He loves cuddling our 23 mo old daughter when we wake up in the AM. But, she also has her own cozy little bed she gets tucked into every night - she just ends up in our bed sometimes in the wee hours of the morning a lot of nights. Somehow, we managed to have enough husband/wife relations to get pregnant again - so I am pretty sure I'm not neglecting my husband by co-sleeping. As a FT working mom, my time with my kids is limited and it was the middle of the night nursings in bed that bonded me better with her since I was away from her all day. If it created a co-sleeping toddler habit, so be it.
Your first post on the attachment parenting mindset shows that you have little to no grasp on what attachment parenting really is and why it's done. As with anything, there are variations of attachment parenting - you can't fit everyone of us who subscribe to it in a narrow-minded box.0 -
I breastfed both of my children until their first birthday. My daughter was easier to ween than my son. Boys seem to have a harder time giving it up, generally. And when in Central America, I noticed that there, it was common for the older kids to pull up mom's huipile to have a drink. Surprising to see the first time, but it makes sense too. When you live in a society where all women breastfeed openly, and where there are lots of children, you accept it. So the sense that this is not something to do is strictley cultural. Our society should be more open. I find it quite hypocritical to see fashion promoting cleavage, which sexualizes the breast while society censures what they were really made for.
Plus the fact that breast milk is the best thing for small children has all kinds of scientific evidence going for it.0 -
Nothing wrong with breast feeding but a kid that age is disgusting!0
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Sex =/= breast feeding on any planet.
Really? Have you been to all the other planets?
Nah, I'm just playing. Carry on!0 -
Quite honestly I think this whole "attachment parenting" thing is a crock of shi$$. !!
Letting kids sleep in your bed ( co-sleeping) and nursing till they are in school is ridiculous ! Bunch of tree hugging, granola eating nonsense...
If you don't teach your children how to be independent and confident and go to sleep without nursing or sleeping with their parents you are not doing them ANY favors !
The reason divorce rate is so high now is because of crap like "co- sleeping" husbands and wives don't honor each other any more, it's all about the kids... you picked your spouse first, start acting like a spouse.
Nothing makes me more annoyed than wives who once they have a baby they ignore their husband and their marraiges and everything revolves around the kids..
Life is about balance, getting all of your needs met by breastfeeding your kids or sleeping with them till they are 5 is not the way.....
I have 4 children, ages 8-21, all well adjusted kids who excel in school and college. They are love me very much, they were all breastfed till they had teeth and guess what..... I am still married, and they slept in their own beds and had bedtimes and routines and they were not the little hellions running around the stores or up all night in restaurants with adults having meals....
UGH
:drinker:
Also agree with this.0 -
Pump it and put it in a cup...you wouldn't keep giving a 3-7 year old milk in a bottle
Exactly. There is no reason an older child should still be attached to a boob. lol0 -
Breastfeeding... how in 2012 is this still even a debate-filled subject??
We are mammals last time I checked and the purpose of breastfeeding is EXACTLY why women have breasts. I BF both of my children until 6 months. This wasn't a choice... my boss' at work did not accommodate my pumping needs and therefore had to wean earlier than I would have liked.
That said... my step daughter self weaned around 2 1/2.
As another poster stated, in other countries no one questions when a mother BF's her child in public NOR the age of the child.
Wow, in Maine your boss has to provide a quiet, clean and private place for you to pump. And it can't be a restroom.
Yeah... I was provided with a supply closest my first day back because I refused the restroom option - I actually asked if they would like me to wash their salad in the restroom sink.. the look of disgust on their face was priceless... I said that the equipment I use is just as sterile as the sink they want used. I also wondered (allowed of course) what the DOL would think of their lack of lactating support.
The next day the HR manager offered me HER office to start using. Though I was still only allowed by 2-10minute breaks and 30-minute lunch. So.. I had to work an additional hour every day to have extra break time because 10 minutes isn't enough time to wash, set up, pump, break down, wash and get back to my cubicle before the allowed time. And God forbid you were a minute late you would be written up.0 -
I think the only reason the cover was gross was because of the way the two were posed. It was posed as a sexual looking scene rather than a natural, nuturing moment.
You have obviously never nursed a toddler who has fallen down and got hurt or anything else while you were busy doing dishes or folding laundry or any of the other million things we as mothers have to do. I laughed because I can remember a time just like this when my 2.5 year old was nursing still and I was busy combing her brothers hair trying to get out the door for Church. He was sitting on a chair in front of me at the table (only way he would be still) I was standing and she had been running through the house, fell, and needed consoling,I picked her up checked her out, kissed her knee and told her she would be ok but I couldn't stop at the moment or we were going to miss our ride so she pulled up a chair right next to me and TRIED to nurse. It didn't work out for her that way and cracked me up but there was NOTHING sexual about it. If that picture is sexualized then it's in the eyes of the person viewing it.0 -
Quite honestly I think this whole "attachment parenting" thing is a crock of shi$$. !!
Letting kids sleep in your bed ( co-sleeping) and nursing till they are in school is ridiculous ! Bunch of tree hugging, granola eating nonsense...
If you don't teach your children how to be independent and confident and go to sleep without nursing or sleeping with their parents you are not doing them ANY favors !
The reason divorce rate is so high now is because of crap like "co- sleeping" husbands and wives don't honor each other any more, it's all about the kids... you picked your spouse first, start acting like a spouse.
Nothing makes me more annoyed than wives who once they have a baby they ignore their husband and their marraiges and everything revolves around the kids..
Life is about balance, getting all of your needs met by breastfeeding your kids or sleeping with them till they are 5 is not the way.....
I have 4 children, ages 8-21, all well adjusted kids who excel in school and college. They are love me very much, they were all breastfed till they had teeth and guess what..... I am still married, and they slept in their own beds and had bedtimes and routines and they were not the little hellions running around the stores or up all night in restaurants with adults having meals....
UGH
Wow, closed mind maybe? Damn, there are many ways to raise kids and nobody's (including YOURS) is the best way. Get over yourself woman!! I can't believe you actually wrote "you picked your spouse first start acting like a spouse" !!!! WTH?? Not that I agree with letting my kids sleep with me and my husband but do you really think that's the ONLY way to act like a spouse? Share the same bed? lol!
I can't stand it. I gotta go for a walk. maybe even a run.0 -
thanks for the correction-even at 3 years old-its disgusting. Not breast feeding itself-just at that age and the cover was just disturbing.
Everyone has their own opinion. You have no right to judge other people and there choices because you don't know the situation. Sometimes it is necessary to breast feed them to that age. Would you please think before you use those words because they could really offend people (like you have just done to me).0 -
It was the way she posed for the picture that disturbed me. The angle of the photo and the way she arched her back to give a full profile view of her breast. This pose is often used in boudoir photo sessions, it seemed out of place.0
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Well obviously any woman who is co-sleeping with their kids over 6 months old is not going to come on here and say...ya you are right, my husband hates it and he only does it cause he is "whipped" and overwhelmed and has no choice.
Men are men, they love their children but they do not want to share their wives breasts with them for any longer than is needed and they certainly don't want to share their beds with those darling children either....
They want relations with their wives, their privacy with their spouse and their sleep....... in that order.....oh and don't forget a sandwich
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Breastfeeding... how in 2012 is this still even a debate-filled subject??
We are mammals last time I checked and the purpose of breastfeeding is EXACTLY why women have breasts. I BF both of my children until 6 months. This wasn't a choice... my boss' at work did not accommodate my pumping needs and therefore had to wean earlier than I would have liked.
That said... my step daughter self weaned around 2 1/2.
As another poster stated, in other countries no one questions when a mother BF's her child in public NOR the age of the child.
Wow, in Maine your boss has to provide a quiet, clean and private place for you to pump. And it can't be a restroom.
Yeah... I was provided with a supply closest my first day back because I refused the restroom option - I actually asked if they would like me to wash their salad in the restroom sink.. the look of disgust on their face was priceless... I said that the equipment I use is just as sterile as the sink they want used. I also wondered (allowed of course) what the DOL would think of their lack of lactating support.
The next day the HR manager offered me HER office to start using. Though I was still only allowed by 2-10minute breaks and 30-minute lunch. So.. I had to work an additional hour every day to have extra break time because 10 minutes isn't enough time to wash, set up, pump, break down, wash and get back to my cubicle before the allowed time. And God forbid you were a minute late you would be written up.
Oh, that's so frustrating! Sorry you had to deal with such unaccommodating bosses. I agree, 10 minutes definitely is not long enough. I usually took about a half hour, so I guess I would be pumping and eating lunch at the same time! Haha:laugh:0 -
Wall Street Journal reviewed the book, THE CONFLICT, a few weeks ago:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304356604577340214170952638.html
1st paragraph:
"Modern mothers have a serious problem on their hands, and it's other mothers. Elisabeth Badinter, one of France's foremost intellectuals, has identified a creeping zealotry that is out to fold us all into its bosom. Naturalism, she notes, has become the touchstone that good liberal mothers measure themselves against: Childbirth should be unfettered by painkillers; co-sleeping gives your infant untold psychological advantages; and breast-feeding must be practiced rigorously. This regimen turns motherhood into a full-time job and in the process makes fathers irrelevant."
Fits right in with the Time headline, "Are you mom enough?"
ha. so many desperate competitions. Maybe this is another reason that French women don't get fat!0 -
It truly amazes some of the thing's that people find so offensive and spend their time worrying about. Breastfeeding is a natural, healthy thing to do. Somehow our society has become so sexualized and has made breastfeeding seem dirty and unnatural. People are so desensitized to violence in movies, tv shows and games yet a picture of a woman breastfeeding her child has sparked intense controversy. I think the picture is a little tasteless and I think the family, in particular the boy will experience fall out from it and as a mother I would never put my child on the cover of a magazine like that. Parents are constantly being criticized for how they choose to do thing's, no matter what they do. Mother's who don't breastfeed are judged for it. Mother's who breastfeed for too long are judged for it. I personally was breastfed until 2.5 and co-slept with my mother. I ended up being a perfectly well adjusted human being that has a normal relationship with my mother. And yes I also breastfed my daughter until she self weaned. Children are unaware at that age of the sexual nature of a breast, to them they are sharing something with their mothers.0
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I'll add it to the list of "things that don't affect my life even a little."
You, sir, make sense.
Also, I find it interesting that it's ok to use boobs to sell everything from fast food to cars, but if you show them being used for what they're ACTUALLY for, people freak out.0 -
Quite honestly I think this whole "attachment parenting" thing is a crock of shi$$. !!
Letting kids sleep in your bed ( co-sleeping) and nursing till they are in school is ridiculous ! Bunch of tree hugging, granola eating nonsense...
If you don't teach your children how to be independent and confident and go to sleep without nursing or sleeping with their parents you are not doing them ANY favors !
The reason divorce rate is so high now is because of crap like "co- sleeping" husbands and wives don't honor each other any more, it's all about the kids... you picked your spouse first, start acting like a spouse.
Nothing makes me more annoyed than wives who once they have a baby they ignore their husband and their marraiges and everything revolves around the kids..
Life is about balance, getting all of your needs met by breastfeeding your kids or sleeping with them till they are 5 is not the way.....
I have 4 children, ages 8-21, all well adjusted kids who excel in school and college. They are love me very much, they were all breastfed till they had teeth and guess what..... I am still married, and they slept in their own beds and had bedtimes and routines and they were not the little hellions running around the stores or up all night in restaurants with adults having meals....
UGH
Wow, closed mind maybe? Damn, there are many ways to raise kids and nobody's (including YOURS) is the best way. Get over yourself woman!! I can't believe you actually wrote "you picked your spouse first start acting like a spouse" !!!! WTH?? Not that I agree with letting my kids sleep with me and my husband but do you really think that's the ONLY way to act like a spouse? Share the same bed? lol!
I can't stand it. I gotta go for a walk. maybe even a run.
lmao ....not closed minded at all.....trust me, I am anything but.....hahahaha....
I can state my opinion and don't have to mind my own business because this is a open forum, on topic and the INTERNET
Touchy subject maybe ??..0 -
I appreciate that you're doing the healthiest thing for your child, but can you appreciate when you're thinking about whipping your boob out in the middle of the mall, that maybe I didn't want to have that conversation with my 3-year-old yet? I can have respect for your parenting decisions, but you need to have some respect for everyone else's.
Really, there are SO many things that "should be kept in private" for that reason, then.
If I want to use this, "If you respect others, you should do this in private" I would ask that no one
Pray in public
Consume meat in public
Have pinup tattoos without wearing long sleeved shirts
drink alcohol in public
... I dunno. I can think of a lot of conversations I'm not ready to have with my nonexistent 3 year old, but I'm not going to ask anyone to alter their lives to avoid them.
^THIS...seriously, there are MANY worse things happening in public! So sad that breasts can hang out for the wrong reasons but not the right ones. You know, I breastfed in public and tried to be as discreet as possible. I often felt ashamed and uncomfortable for doing a selfless thing for my child. Society sucks!0 -
In other countries breastfeeding this long is the normal. Yes some is out of necessity (3rd world countries) but its not going to hurt the kid. I heard the average age of weaning world wide is 4. Its only strange in the US.0
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