TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old

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Replies

  • molly_grue
    molly_grue Posts: 215 Member
    I think more power to her.
    Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing and even if I were against extended breastfeeding, it's not up to me to tell other people how to parent.
  • vmessyness
    vmessyness Posts: 49 Member
    i just finished nursing my daughter a few months shy of her 4th birthday. my mother nursed me until i was 3.5. breastfeeding is a personal act between a mother and a child and it is their mutual decision when they should stop. it is beautiful and special and i honestly cannot understand how anyone would find feeding and nurturing a child "gross" or "disturbing."
    is it gross and disturbing, or worthy of a MFP thread when you see 3 year old eating macdonalds? i've never seen one, but almost every 3 year old i know has eaten there. has anyone ever prevented a mother from feeding her 3 year old macdonalds in public? NO!
    when a woman can feed her child food-like-substances and face less criticism than feeding them whole, intact human milk our society has a serious problem.
  • Bobbi_Nicole
    Bobbi_Nicole Posts: 2 Member
    The only thing I found disturbing about this was the title "Are you mom enough?" <--- THAT is what is ridiculous! So, because a woman, due to complications or whatever, cannot breastfeed her child for X amount of time, they're not mom enough? I breastfed my son until he was about 7 months, but due to complications I couldn't any longer. Would I have breastfed until he was 3? No. Do I care if someone else does? NO! Because it doesn't affect me... Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and unfortunately BF'ing mom's will always get some sort of ridicule for it, usually from people who have no clue. If she wants to BF her kid until he's 12, whatever, none of my business and more power to her! This article is focusing on the wrong aspect of "Attatchment Parenting", and while I'm sure there were good intentions, it is saying that this is gross... Would this picture be less offensive if he was cuddled in her lap in a chair? To me, yes, because breastfeeding is about bonding. But clearly, TIME was going for the shock value...
  • amurdaugh2010
    amurdaugh2010 Posts: 38 Member
    I'm surprised there are so many people out there who think it's their business to call mothering disgusting. ANY kind of mothering is better than no mothering. So hell if I wanted to keep my child at my breast for 7 years I will. I'd do whatever it took to make sure my child has what she needs, and if that means being a living child blankie, then so be it. When I choose to have a child, I choose to take care of her for life. Do what she needs, when she needs it. I really hate when people put down so many styles of parenting. It's okay to voice your opinion but come on people, disgusting? Really? You think her mothering her child disgusting? I just don't see where that makes sense. More power to her.
  • lorierin22
    lorierin22 Posts: 432 Member
    The only thing I found disturbing about this was the title "Are you mom enough?" <--- THAT is what is ridiculous! So, because a woman, due to complications or whatever, cannot breastfeed her child for X amount of time, they're not mom enough? I breastfed my son until he was about 7 months, but due to complications I couldn't any longer. Would I have breastfed until he was 3? No. Do I care if someone else does? NO! Because it doesn't affect me... Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and unfortunately BF'ing mom's will always get some sort of ridicule for it, usually from people who have no clue. If she wants to BF her kid until he's 12, whatever, none of my business and more power to her! This article is focusing on the wrong aspect of "Attatchment Parenting", and while I'm sure there were good intentions, it is saying that this is gross... Would this picture be less offensive if he was cuddled in her lap in a chair? To me, yes, because breastfeeding is about bonding. But clearly, TIME was going for the shock value...

    I took the title "are you mom enough?" not to mean are you mom enough to breastfeed a toddler/older child or even breastfeed at all...but are you mom enough to parent your child the way you see fit, regardless of what others say or do. Whether it be to bottle feed, breast feed, use time outs, spank, use attachment parenting techniques or whatever. Are you mom enough to be the best mom you choose to be without letting other opinions sway you?
  • I personally don't care if a mother breastfeeds or not. I did, with all 3 kids, and they all weaned themselves when they were ready (not past 1 year). But what bothers me is how TIME is attempting to put this provacative image on the cover on Mother's Day weekend. Come one, who really breastfeeds like that?!!! The title also disturbs me, "Are you mom enough?", not everyone can breastfeed or wants to! They just want to pit us women against each other; don't fall for it! To each is own!
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol

    I have a spine and my child co-sleeps. He's five. I wouldn't change a thing.

    Now what?

    Opus ..... give me a break, you don't really want your 5yr old in bed with you and your wife....who do you think you are kidding ? lol
  • Bobbi_Nicole
    Bobbi_Nicole Posts: 2 Member
    The only thing I found disturbing about this was the title "Are you mom enough?" <--- THAT is what is ridiculous! So, because a woman, due to complications or whatever, cannot breastfeed her child for X amount of time, they're not mom enough? I breastfed my son until he was about 7 months, but due to complications I couldn't any longer. Would I have breastfed until he was 3? No. Do I care if someone else does? NO! Because it doesn't affect me... Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and unfortunately BF'ing mom's will always get some sort of ridicule for it, usually from people who have no clue. If she wants to BF her kid until he's 12, whatever, none of my business and more power to her! This article is focusing on the wrong aspect of "Attatchment Parenting", and while I'm sure there were good intentions, it is saying that this is gross... Would this picture be less offensive if he was cuddled in her lap in a chair? To me, yes, because breastfeeding is about bonding. But clearly, TIME was going for the shock value...

    I took the title "are you mom enough?" not to mean are you mom enough to breastfeed a toddler/older child or even breastfeed at all...but are you mom enough to parent your child the way you see fit, regardless of what others say or do. Whether it be to bottle feed, breast feed, use time outs, spank, use attachment parenting techniques or whatever. Are you mom enough to be the best mom you choose to be without letting other opinions sway you?

    Agreed, however, with the picture and the main focus is on breastfeeding. I think you make a good point - "Are you mom enough to be the best mom you choose to be without letting other opinions sway you?" <- That should be the focus! Clearly this mom is! And props to her :)

    In the end, that's all that really matters. Whether you have done the best you can, how you see fit, with the best interest of your child!
  • vmessyness
    vmessyness Posts: 49 Member
    our four year old sleeps with us and has since she was born. she has her own bed, and she's expressed no interest in sleeping in it overnight. i slept with my mom until i was seven. i made the decision on my own that i was ready for more privacy and moved into my own room. i'm sure she will do the same when she's ready.
    a family bed is the most common sleeping arrangement in the world. not every culture or person in this culture is obsessed with rugged individualism.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
    Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol

    I have a spine and my child co-sleeps. He's five. I wouldn't change a thing.

    Now what?

    Opus ..... give me a break, you don't really want your 5yr old in bed with you and your wife....who do you think you are kidding ? lol

    You think I'm lying?????? Seriously, F this thread.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    It seems a little pornographic to me.

    Please explain to me how this picture is at all pornographic??
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol

    I have a spine and my child co-sleeps. He's five. I wouldn't change a thing.

    Now what?

    Opus ..... give me a break, you don't really want your 5yr old in bed with you and your wife....who do you think you are kidding ? lol

    You think I'm lying?????? Seriously, F this thread.

    No I don't think you are lying, to be lying you would have to actually know the truth and be stating otherwise,

    I think you have been told over and over that this is the BEST thing for your child by someone, wife/ doctor etc so much so that you are actually believing it now.... I think that you know that you really would prefer a child who slept in their own bed...

    Show me someone who before children said to themselves " oh when I have kids I can't wait to share my bed and have them sleep with me every night, there is nothing I would like more"
  • stacygayle
    stacygayle Posts: 349 Member
    I'm against Time Magazine for pitting mothers against each other. And doing it on Mother's Day.

    That!
  • millers617
    millers617 Posts: 21 Member
    I'm against Time Magazine for pitting mothers against each other. And doing it on Mother's Day.

    THIS!!
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol

    I have a spine and my child co-sleeps. He's five. I wouldn't change a thing.

    Now what?

    Opus ..... give me a break, you don't really want your 5yr old in bed with you and your wife....who do you think you are kidding ? lol

    You think I'm lying?????? Seriously, F this thread.

    No I don't think you are lying, to be lying you would have to actually know the truth and be stating otherwise,

    I think you have been told over and over that this is the BEST thing for your child by someone, wife/ doctor etc so much so that you are actually believing it now.... I think that you know that you really would prefer a child who slept in their own bed...

    Show me someone who before children said to themselves " oh when I have kids I can't wait to share my bed and have them sleep with me every night, there is nothing I would like more"

    *shakes head*

    What makes you think that you know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE?

    You're making blanket and idiotic statements...
  • Bikini_Bound150
    Bikini_Bound150 Posts: 461 Member
    Breast feeding is beautiful and natural. However, that picture was ridiculous. I found the entire thing a ploy to get people talking about Time. I wonder what the upsale was for that issue from previous months. And the headline "Are you mom enough?" Are you freaking serious? Mothers who don't breastfeed at all and mothers who do it for a long time have no difference in how much of a MOTHER they are!!!

    But hey, look how well their scheme worked! We're all talking about it and I bet most of you bought the issue too, just to see. Good job, Time. Way to exploit motherhood.
  • stacygayle
    stacygayle Posts: 349 Member
    I breast fed both of my kids but only until they were old enough to hold a cup which was about 9 months old. I wouldn't even let them have a bottle once they could hold it on their own. I have never let my kids sleep with me either but to each their own. I like to sleep and I don't even sleep well next to my husband so I wouldn't want to add a kicking rolling around kid to the mix. I don't think any less of someone who does let their kids sleep with them. My kids are now 20 and 12 and they are both pretty strong independent people so apparently not breast feeding them until they were toddlers and not letting them sleep with me didn't harm them in anyway. Different people have different parenting styles. Whatever works for your kids works. My way may not work for someone else.
  • Heyman09
    Heyman09 Posts: 184
    I don't think it's disgusting. I breast fed my son for 3 months(due to being premature) and my daughter for 13 months. I didn't find the pic disgusting but I did find the title a bit concerning. It was like they were telling preemie moms, formula feeding moms, and moms who don't co sleep that they are bad moms. At least that's what I got from it.
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol

    I have a spine and my child co-sleeps. He's five. I wouldn't change a thing.

    Now what?

    Opus ..... give me a break, you don't really want your 5yr old in bed with you and your wife....who do you think you are kidding ? lol

    You think I'm lying?????? Seriously, F this thread.

    No I don't think you are lying, to be lying you would have to actually know the truth and be stating otherwise,

    I think you have been told over and over that this is the BEST thing for your child by someone, wife/ doctor etc so much so that you are actually believing it now.... I think that you know that you really would prefer a child who slept in their own bed...

    Show me someone who before children said to themselves " oh when I have kids I can't wait to share my bed and have them sleep with me every night, there is nothing I would like more"

    *shakes head*

    What makes you think that you know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE?

    You're making blanket and idiotic statements...

    *shaking my head* so sensitive..... may I have struck a nerve ?????

    heaven forbid someone say what they are really thinking or have an opinon ???? oh my, should have just kept it to myself in case I hurt your feelings .....bahahahha
  • Mindmovesbody
    Mindmovesbody Posts: 399 Member
    None of this belongs on this site to begin with. Shame on the OP. Dont you have some where else to start unwanted debates? This has nothing to do with fitness. If its not your kids on the breast it is not your business!
  • amurdaugh2010
    amurdaugh2010 Posts: 38 Member
    i just finished nursing my daughter a few months shy of her 4th birthday. my mother nursed me until i was 3.5. breastfeeding is a personal act between a mother and a child and it is their mutual decision when they should stop. it is beautiful and special and i honestly cannot understand how anyone would find feeding and nurturing a child "gross" or "disturbing."
    is it gross and disturbing, or worthy of a MFP thread when you see 3 year old eating macdonalds? i've never seen one, but almost every 3 year old i know has eaten there. has anyone ever prevented a mother from feeding her 3 year old macdonalds in public? NO!
    when a woman can feed her child food-like-substances and face less criticism than feeding them whole, intact human milk our society has a serious problem.


    LOVE THIS!! Heck yes! At least she's not feeding her child unhealthily. At least she's feeding her child, period. There are some people, and you see them in the news all the time, that don't They should put more parents like her in the news. Maybe the whole world wouldn't think America is a nation that abuses children. I mean look at the headlines. Mother starves her child to death. They are everywhere. At least this woman is doing what is right, by her child and her. Maybe the picture and title is offensive, but that's what time was going for. They wanted to bring ALOT of attention to it.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
    I think you have been told over and over that this is the BEST thing for your child by someone, wife/ doctor etc so much so that you are actually believing it now.... I think that you know that you really would prefer a child who slept in their own bed...

    :huh:

    I would try to explain how you're wrong, but clearly you know me better than I know myself, so why bother.
  • nursenikki829
    nursenikki829 Posts: 432 Member
    Breastfeeding your children - great! Breastfeeding in public - great! Breastfeeding for as long as you both are comfortable - GREAT! Having your child stand on a chair on the cover of a magazine while breastfeeding - exploitation.

    I agree! I breastfed all three of my children, and all of them self- weaned. I breastfed in public, sitting, standing walking, vacuuming, anywhere. I am also a breastfeeding educator. I was unsettled by the cover, because I feel like it was set up to stir controversy in a society that is already uncomfortable with breastfeeding. It is the most natural and beautiful thing in the world, and the cover doesn't even begin to portray it properly.
  • Steven
    Steven Posts: 593 MFP Moderator
    Hi Folks,

    Just wanted to advise you that while we're getting a few requests to lock the thread, there's nothing inherent in debating this topic that makes it inappropriate for the site.

    I would ask that all users refrain from pointing fingers or offering insults about other posters. It's fine to debate the pros and cons of this issue, but we will edit or delete posts brought to our attention that are attacking individuals, rather than responding to and debating ideas or arguments.

    Please keep it above the line and respectful, and avoid crossing the line into personal attack and insult.

    Thanks,
    Steven
    MyFitnessPal Staff
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    I personally find it disgusting-what are your thoughts?

    OP - Just curious if you are a mother.

    I am a mother and I also find it disgusting. So what?
  • bpe101
    bpe101 Posts: 53 Member
    I didn't see the magazine nor have I read everyone's comments because there are so many of them, so this might have been said by someone else.

    I notice how a lot of people keep saying after a certain age mothers should pump and then give it to them in a bottle.

    Well what about the days when pumps didn't exist? Would it have been ok to breast feed beyond the acceptable age of 1 or so then?
    Besides the fact that it is how nature intended for us to feed our children, why do we care about what others are doing when as others have said, "At least this mother is feeding her child rather than starving her."

    The magazine and media do this kind of crap on purpose, to raise controversy where it shouldn't be in the first place. There isn't a story. Nobody should question how long a mother chooses to nurse her child. Nor should they plaster a picture about it on some magazine. Why do people continue to care about such unimportant issues and judge others for their decisions? Do you think lions are judging other lions about how long the other nurses her cubs for?

    Rediculous.
  • Micahroni84
    Micahroni84 Posts: 452 Member
    If I lived in a starving country, yes, I would breast feed my child as long as I could. Since I don't and my child is able to get his nutrition from the foods we are lucky enough to be able to purchase, no, I would never breast feed my kid over the age of 1.5, maybe less time. The problem is, I was not able to breastfeed. No milk production along with other comlications and I refuse to have the BF nazi's talk down to me for it. My kid is healthy and SMART.

    On a more humorous side to it one of my friends girld friends commented that when her kids are old enough to bite through a carrot, her nipples aren't going anywhere near their mouths. I think that is wise. My sister almost bit my Mom's nipple off because my Mom wouldn't keep eye contact with her through the entire feeding. LOL!
  • FitnessDivaK
    FitnessDivaK Posts: 180 Member
    Do not need any "statistical data" to back up my opinion.... it's plain and obvious to see.... ask any husband (one with a spine) about how much he enjoys co-sleeping/parenting... lol

    I have a spine and my child co-sleeps. He's five. I wouldn't change a thing.

    Now what?

    Opus ..... give me a break, you don't really want your 5yr old in bed with you and your wife....who do you think you are kidding ? lol

    You think I'm lying?????? Seriously, F this thread.

    No I don't think you are lying, to be lying you would have to actually know the truth and be stating otherwise,

    I think you have been told over and over that this is the BEST thing for your child by someone, wife/ doctor etc so much so that you are actually believing it now.... I think that you know that you really would prefer a child who slept in their own bed...

    Show me someone who before children said to themselves " oh when I have kids I can't wait to share my bed and have them sleep with me every night, there is nothing I would like more"

    *shakes head*

    What makes you think that you know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE?

    You're making blanket and idiotic statements...

    *shaking my head* so sensitive..... may I have struck a nerve ?????

    heaven forbid someone say what they are really thinking or have an opinon ???? oh my, should have just kept it to myself in case I hurt your feelings .....bahahahha
    dis-gon-b-gud.gif
  • DMarkSwan
    DMarkSwan Posts: 56 Member
    I could care less that a mother breast feeds a 3 year old, even in public. The picture creeps me out a bit, but that's just because of the way it's posed. My adult male brain sees a sexy woman with breasts, but what the heck is that kid doing there? But the kid just sees where he gets healthy nourishment. We as adults are looking at it with our adult perspective and thinking about sex and that makes it sick, but we're just wrong. The magazine may have gone to far as well.
  • jennyb612
    jennyb612 Posts: 83
    Quite honestly I think this whole "attachment parenting" thing is a crock of shi$$. !!

    Letting kids sleep in your bed ( co-sleeping) and nursing till they are in school is ridiculous ! Bunch of tree hugging, granola eating nonsense...

    If you don't teach your children how to be independent and confident and go to sleep without nursing or sleeping with their parents you are not doing them ANY favors !

    The reason divorce rate is so high now is because of crap like "co- sleeping" husbands and wives don't honor each other any more, it's all about the kids... you picked your spouse first, start acting like a spouse.

    Nothing makes me more annoyed than wives who once they have a baby they ignore their husband and their marraiges and everything revolves around the kids..

    Life is about balance, getting all of your needs met by breastfeeding your kids or sleeping with them till they are 5 is not the way.....

    I have 4 children, ages 8-21, all well adjusted kids who excel in school and college. They are love me very much, they were all breastfed till they had teeth and guess what..... I am still married, and they slept in their own beds and had bedtimes and routines and they were not the little hellions running around the stores or up all night in restaurants with adults having meals....

    UGH

    So co-sleeping for the first 16 months with my daughter makes me a tree hugging granola head who hate my husband. Okay, sure.

    Giggle... granola head (kidding)