TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old

impyimpyaj

If she is so hell bent on making sure her child gets breast milk, she could pump and serve it to him in a sippy cup. She is not going to bond her child to her by breast feeding this late in the game. If anything she's going to make him feel like an outcast. If a child is capable of getting his own drink, hooking him up to the tit is just perversion on her part, and will probably scar the boy. I'm probably going to get blasted by people, but it's just my opinion. And I also breast fed both of my children until they were about 6 months old, both are healthy, happy well adjusted kids, and are well bonded with me.

What schools did you study at, or research team did you work on to come up with what you stated above? Because while pregnant, I read several books by people who've studied this and monitored children as they progressed through the years to see what the long term affects are.. and if the child even remembers nursing and they all stated the exact opposite of you.

For every book you've read, there are 10 more out there contradicting it. Just because it's in print doesn't make it the gospel.

Ok, well I've KNOWN several people who remember breastfeeding, and they are not scarred. It's food, it's comfort. It's not "weird." Children throughout history and all over the world remember breastfeeding, and unless OTHER PEOPLE make them feel like there's something wrong with it, it doesn't bother them. Because it's normal and natural.

shoppie

Americans are really odd about this. I don't get it. I have 3 kids, one I fed to 6 months but then went back to work so gave him a bottle. the second I fed until he was pretty much exactly 1 when he self-weaned, I am sitll feeding my daughter who is 15 months. I thought the lad in the pic looked a bit "what are you staring at?!" but that's about it.

PunkyRachel

I agree, the cover is a bit disturbing, and I about thew-up. The kid even looks like he's being forced to do it. Don't get me wrong I'm all for breastfeeding, and If you can go past a year, that's fantastic!!! Just pump and pour it into a cup for the kid to drink.

robot_potato

Breastmilk does not stop being beneficial to a child at any certain point. Letting them choose when to wean is good, their bodies know when they are recieving adequate nutrition from other sources far better than some judgmental stranger. My oldest was not able to nurse, I pumped milk for her until she was 3. My son breastfeed until last summer, shortly after he turned 3. Had he needed to nurse longer, I would have let him. You find it disturbing that a child breastfeeds from their own mother, but I bet you drink Milk and consumer bodily excretions from a strange animal that you've never met.

shoppie

I'm fascinated by the notion I should pump and stick it in a cup when my child hits one. Why?

I stopped being able to get anything off with a pump when she was about 7 months old, but am still feeding her 8 months on.

PunkyRachel

The kid is 3, not 4.

thanks for the correction-even at 3 years old-its disgusting. Not breast feeding itself-just at that age and the cover was just disturbing.

I agree.

oh, but its less disgusting to give your kids milk from a cow teet? hmm. intersting. or a toddler mixed formula from some big company that has killed children in 3rd world countries for greed...yup, im talking Nestle.

Umm...you are not putting the cow teet in the child's mouth are you? I'm all for breastfeeding, but if the child is old enough to drink out of a glass, then just pump and put it in a glass for them to drink.

impyimpyaj

The kid is 3, not 4.

thanks for the correction-even at 3 years old-its disgusting. Not breast feeding itself-just at that age and the cover was just disturbing.

I agree.

oh, but its less disgusting to give your kids milk from a cow teet? hmm. intersting. or a toddler mixed formula from some big company that has killed children in 3rd world countries for greed...yup, im talking Nestle.

Umm...you are not putting the cow teet in the child's mouth are you? I'm all for breastfeeding, but if the child is old enough to drink out of a glass, then just pump and put it in a glass for them to drink.

Not the same. The mother's body responds to the child's needs. If the child is dehydrated, the milk is more watery and less fatty. If the child is going through a growth spurt, the milk is more fatty. If the child has been exposed to a virus, the milk contains antibodies for that specific virus. It goes on and on. Pumped milk is fine, but it's not as beneficial. In addition to that, many women's milk contains an excess of the enzyme lipase, which causes the milk to taste soapy after it's been exposed to the air for very long. Mine was like that, and my kids wouldn't drink it. Can't blame them!

MzMandi1025

The kid turns 4 next month, so he's pretty much a 4 year old. I honestly have more issue with the "Are you mom enough" title than the extended breastfeeding. I think that the photo could have been done better. If they were trying to show the nurturing side of extended breastfeeding, they could have done a better job than standing the kid up on a chair. It doesn't come across very nurturing in my opnion.
I was only able to nurse my daughter for 5 mos even though I had planned to nurse for at least 1 year. My daughter is 3 1/2 now & I can't imagine still breastfeeding her, but to each their own.

mfpcopine

I personally found the cover pic to be disturbing ...

It was supposed to be. That's how magazines are sold. I haven't read the article, but I'm familiar with the subject it addresses: the pressure on women to be Super Moms.

As for breast feeding, human babies develop more slowly than other mammals, but I don't believe they need to be breast fed at the ages of 3 and 4. I don't believe in the methods in which women are expected to be with their kids 24/7. It's not necessary and it's a way of undermining women by making them feel guilty for not being the perfect mother. No one seems to care about the lack of perfect fathers.

jan_andrea

I told myself I wouldn't post, but I can't help myself :P

You can't force a kid to nurse, especially an older kid. If they don't want to, *they won't do it*. You're talking about putting a kid with teeth on a breast and trying to make them nurse? That's a recipe for getting bitten. Kids that age don't get guilt, either, so saying mom is trying to guilt them into BFing is nonsense, too.

And yes, FTR, I weaned my last at 3 years -- my choice, not hers. She would have kept going if I had let her, but I was so done by then.

The kid was 3 -- they dressed him to look older (obviously, if the number of posters who thought he was 4 was any indication) and deliberately set out to make the photo provocative. They want to sell magazines! How better to do it than to make a controversy over something totally innocent?

Also, their spin on AP was so totally off. I did AP because it was easy for me. Breastfeeding was easier than mixing up formula bottles (even leaving aside the well-documented and really incontrovertible health benefits). Safe co-sleeping was easier than getting up in the middle of the night -- I was pretty well-rested even with a newborn, and how many American new mothers can say that? Babywearing was easier than dealing with a stroller, and made taking care of my other kids a snap. The magazine was trying to make this a mommy wars issue (and apparently they succeeded), but AP is not about "I'm a better mom than you!" It's about "This works for me and/or my partner and my child" and if it doesn't work for you, then don't do it. Just don't get all judgmental because I do it.

If you don't have children, trust me, *you do not know what you are talking about here*.

ironanimal

All I have to say is I feel sorry for her nipples. Those poor things.

lilcupcake213

I can't believe that this has gotten to be such an ugly thing. This magazine cover did nothing or proved not one point. All it did was pit mothers against other mothers. No one is right and no one is wrong. If people choose NOT to breastfeed that is their decision. If they DO, that is their decision. But as a mother who didn't breastfeed any of her kids, all I ask is that some discretion is used when breastfeeding in public. I dont need my 5 year old son staring at some women with her ta-ta's hangin out. Thats all Im saying...just use a wrap or blanket of some kind. Also, forget about all the other kids seeing your "girls", what about me? i don't wanna see it either. BUT i have to say about the cover...i think when your kid can tell you " hey ma, I'm thirsty" it might be time to stop breastfeeding!

jan_andrea

Babies root from the time they're born -- they're telling you they're hungry. "If they can ask for it, they're too old" is bull****.

Also, I see a lot more skin in posts here -- or walking around *anywhere* in the summer -- than I ever see on a breastfeeding woman. This "whip it out" stereotype is crap -- very, very few women do that, and yeah, when they do, they may be trying to prove a point, or it just may be that's what works best for their baby. Have you ever tried to cover up a baby who doesn't like to be covered? Mine would pull the blanket off if I tried... but I would wear clothes that make it easy to expose as little as possible, or use the tail of my sling (babywearing FTW!) to cover my breast.

HOWEVER, I really resent the implication that unless a woman is wearing a burqa, breastfeeding is offensive. *It's how we feed babies*. It's not a peep show. If you can't tell the difference between a food breast and a sex breast (hint: the former has a baby attached to it; the latter is encased in lingerie or the like), that's your issue, not a mother's.

Jeliwood

I have two children and I wasn't able to breast feed either because for some reason I am completely unable to produce milk. It's amazing how some people make you feel guilty for doing one thing or another with a child. Breast feeding just wasn't in the cards for my kids. But they are happy, healthy, and that's all that matters.

I think it's great for the women who want to breastfeed. That's the way nature intended. Do I want to be made to feel bad by these women because I didn't? No. Bullying, no matter the reason or cause, is not a good thing. We push so hard now for our children not to bully each other but we don't really address it when it's between adults. Maybe that's something we should take a look at.

Breast feeding is natural. That picture on Time wasn't though. Personally, I don't want to watch anyone eating- baby, toddler, or adult. Food is a private thing in most cases and only becomes a social bonding thing amongst those we are close to. It doesn't make the woman appear to be closer to the child. It seems only judgemental, the way they're looking at the camera. It would have been a whole different thing if they were sitting comfortably in the child's room and the woman holding her child, looking down at him lovingly and him up at her. The picture was cold, awkard, and almost hostile. Everything an interaction with your child shouldn't be.

Just my thoughts.

jan_andrea

You understand that it was the photographer who posed them that way, right? Nobody actually breastfeeds that way.

DanTTX

I'm not a mummy yet, but personally I don't understand why anyone would *want* a child that age sucking on their boob! In my opinion, if the child is old enough to 'ask' for it or bite off a nipple it's too old to have one in it's mouth! :noway:

There are plenty of ways to give breast milk without continued breast-feeding!

A baby asks for milk as soon as its shot out of its mummies belly, it will instinctively start to crawl towards the breast. At 4 months my son would pat my breasts for a feed, at 5 months he could sign for milk, six months he could say 'muk', when he was 1.5 he was asking for mummy milk, all 'asking' for it. Why should we stop our children. having what is naturally their right just because they can verbally communicate. As for biting off a nipple...haha!
Annd 'wanting' to have a child suckling at that age..when you have a child its not about you anymore. Their needs come first, always,

This!

lilcupcake213

Babies root from the time they're born -- they're telling you they're hungry. "If they can ask for it, they're too old" is bull****.

Also, I see a lot more skin in posts here -- or walking around *anywhere* in the summer -- than I ever see on a breastfeeding woman. This "whip it out" stereotype is crap -- very, very few women do that, and yeah, when they do, they may be trying to prove a point, or it just may be that's what works best for their baby. Have you ever tried to cover up a baby who doesn't like to be covered? Mine would pull the blanket off if I tried... but I would wear clothes that make it easy to expose as little as possible, or use the tail of my sling (babywearing FTW!) to cover my breast.

HOWEVER, I really resent the implication that unless a woman is wearing a burqa, breastfeeding is offensive. *It's how we feed babies*. It's not a peep show. If you can't tell the difference between a food breast and a sex breast (hint: the former has a baby attached to it; the latter is encased in lingerie or the like), that's your issue, not a mother's.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Mothers pitted against mothers. People don't want to hear other peoples opinions and get all defensive when it's not the same as their own. "If they can ask for it, theyre too old" I think it completely right. I'm sorry but when your kid is walking around, making full freakin sentences, and eating table food and are more than capable of drinking from a cup, i think its time to stop. I'm sorry but it's disgusting. I'm all for breastfeeding infants, babies, maybe even a toddler..but when your kid is ready for school, thats just sick. And yes, you're right that if you can't tell the difference between sexual or feeding purpose that is the mothers problem. Try explaining that to a little boy at age 4. Everyone wants to talk about how breastfeeding mothers get all types of criticism. Well what about what BF mothers do to NON BF moms. We're looked at as not as good of a mother, or bad b/c we're giving them formula and mother nature intended them to drink their mothers milk. News flash for people, formula is made WAY different than it was before and it very comparible to breast milk now a days. Yes, it will never be as good but it's pretty damn close. If people choose NOT to BF we shouldnt be hounded for it. BF moms don't like it when they are looked at negatively, so don't do it to mothers who choose not to breastfeed. I dont care what anyone says, no ones kid is gonna be smarter than mine, thinner, or more successful just because they were breast fed and my kid wasnt. That's just dumb.

Beezil

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

If a child can walk, talk, and pour their own juice, they're definitely too old to be doing it, imo.

impyimpyaj

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

Some babies are BORN with teeth. I guess they have to go straight to solids and a sippy cup and never nurse?

Beezil

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

Some babies are BORN with teeth. I guess they have to go straight to solids and a sippy cup and never nurse?

I've never heard of that. You can't possibly hold it against me simply because I didn't know that. Obviously, that's not what I was implying. Most children are supposed to start eating solid foods or semi-solid foods when they begin getting their teeth in, which for my son was about 6 months old.

impyimpyaj

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

Some babies are BORN with teeth. I guess they have to go straight to solids and a sippy cup and never nurse?

I've never heard of that. You can't possibly hold it against me simply because I didn't know that. Obviously, that's not what I was implying. Most children are supposed to start eating solid foods or semi-solid foods when they begin getting their teeth in, which for my son was about 6 months old.

I'm not holding anything against you. I'm simply saying, you can't use physical milestones like that to dictate readiness for weaning. All children are different. The WHO recommends at least two to three years of breastfeeding (exclusive for the first 6 months), and as long thereafter as is mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother and child.

AmyM713

I think TIME magazine was just trying to stir the **** pot, this topic has always been touchy. Who the hell cares if you breastfeed or not or how long you do it for, its a mothers choice, your always going to have rude people in every situation of life that think what you are doing is wrong, and this just happens to be one of those hot topics. I bf all 3 of my children, first two to 3 months because I couldn't keep up and my third to 11 months. It was my choice and my sons. I hate reading about breastfeeding and seeing people fight over whats wrong and right when there are soooo many other issues in the world other then how a mother feeds her child that we should be working on. Screw time magazine and their editors for making a piss poor choice on a cover photo and topic!!!

Beezil

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

Some babies are BORN with teeth. I guess they have to go straight to solids and a sippy cup and never nurse?

I've never heard of that. You can't possibly hold it against me simply because I didn't know that. Obviously, that's not what I was implying. Most children are supposed to start eating solid foods or semi-solid foods when they begin getting their teeth in, which for my son was about 6 months old.

I'm not holding anything against you. I'm simply saying, you can't use physical milestones like that to dictate readiness for weaning. All children are different. The WHO recommends at least two to three years of breastfeeding (exclusive for the first 6 months), and as long thereafter as is mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother and child.

It's a personal preference - hence the "mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother AND child" part of what you said. If I feel that my child having their teeth come in should dictate them moving on to food that is my choice and my right as a mother.

impyimpyaj

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

Some babies are BORN with teeth. I guess they have to go straight to solids and a sippy cup and never nurse?

I've never heard of that. You can't possibly hold it against me simply because I didn't know that. Obviously, that's not what I was implying. Most children are supposed to start eating solid foods or semi-solid foods when they begin getting their teeth in, which for my son was about 6 months old.

I'm not holding anything against you. I'm simply saying, you can't use physical milestones like that to dictate readiness for weaning. All children are different. The WHO recommends at least two to three years of breastfeeding (exclusive for the first 6 months), and as long thereafter as is mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother and child.

It's a personal preference - hence the "mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother AND child" part of what you said. If I feel that my child having their teeth come in should dictate them moving on to food that is my choice and my right as a mother.

I didn't say it wasn't. I'm simply saying that the recommendation is two to three years, so when people say how all children should be weaned and given pumped milk by the time they have teeth (which you're not the only one), it's misinformed. If that's what YOU would like to do, that's fine. Awesome, even. But try not to project your opinions onto others, especially when your opinions are opposite of the WHO's recommendations for optimal health.

lillebanon

I think that cover photo and title are pretty ridiculous. That said, my son who turns 3 in August still nurses at bedtime.

Here is a list of some of the amazing, well-researched benefits of breastfeeding BEYOND infancy:

http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

And statements from real experts:

* The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2005)

* The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)

As for children being traumatized by the memory of suckling from their mother's breast, that is a complete load...
I remember when my younger sister was born and my mom was nursing her (so I would have been close to 4 years old) coming in and seeing her nursing and asking if I could have some too. My mom allowed me to. At that point I remember being surprised that it tasted warm and sweet, because by that age I was used to drinking cows milk. This is a very clear memory to me. It has never disturbed me, but rather I always chuckle a bit when I recall it. I probably have such a great memory because my mom did breastfeed me until well into toddlerhood. )

This is very much the "norm" outside of the U.S., and not just in third world countries. I wouldn't exactly say the the U.S. is prudish, since they have no problem broadcasting scantily clad women on their billboards, beer commercials and magazine covers, and nobody pays any mind to that, but for some reason everybody here tries to sexualize the natural act of comfort and nourishment between mother and child and freaks out about it. Sure, TIME was going for shock value with their magazine cover... but lets face it, if the general public here in America had a proper view of breastfeeding, TIME would never have covered a story about it to begin with, because it wouldn't have sold. Shock and awe sells. So if you don't want to see magazine covers like this in the future, stop reacting to it!

Beezil

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

Some babies are BORN with teeth. I guess they have to go straight to solids and a sippy cup and never nurse?

I've never heard of that. You can't possibly hold it against me simply because I didn't know that. Obviously, that's not what I was implying. Most children are supposed to start eating solid foods or semi-solid foods when they begin getting their teeth in, which for my son was about 6 months old.

I'm not holding anything against you. I'm simply saying, you can't use physical milestones like that to dictate readiness for weaning. All children are different. The WHO recommends at least two to three years of breastfeeding (exclusive for the first 6 months), and as long thereafter as is mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother and child.

It's a personal preference - hence the "mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother AND child" part of what you said. If I feel that my child having their teeth come in should dictate them moving on to food that is my choice and my right as a mother.

I didn't say it wasn't. I'm simply saying that the recommendation is two to three years, so when people say how all children should be weaned and given pumped milk by the time they have teeth (which you're not the only one), it's misinformed. If that's what YOU would like to do, that's fine. Awesome, even. But try not to project your opinions onto others, especially when your opinions are opposite of the WHO's recommendations for optimal health.

I'm not forcing my opinion on anyone, just stating it. Also, please note that I never said I thought all children should stop drinking breast milk when they have teeth, just that they should stop drinking from the teat. Pumped breast milk is still breast milk, after all. Giving the child the ability to drink from a cup or a bottle when they are ready is a good thing in that it promotes independence and mental growth, maturity. That may not be for everyone though, and that's fine. That's just how I feel about it as a mother. I wouldn't look down on anyone for doing something different. To each their own. Every child is indeed different and has different needs, as every parent is different as well.

k1mmi3

Please don't let this influence your decision to continue, it your son still wants to feed great he will wean himself - mine did. He started reducing from around a year and then by 17 months was just a nightime feed and he was fully weaned at 18 months, my daughter followed a similar pattern and weaned at two.
My children are the healthiest in my family and I think it is down to the fact that my children were breastfed.

Unfortunatley there are some strong opinions on this site and many from those who haven't breastfed, which is slightly disturbing that they hold such strong opinions without the experience...

The top and bottom of this debate is that people are sexualising breasts and that is their problem, not yours you are using them for what they are intended for - sorry rant over.

weighlossforbaby

Hmmm, it's her decision what she does. I think putting it on a magazine was going too far though. Do you think she just wants to keep that bond with him?

Marla64

Hmmm, it's her decision what she does. I think putting it on a magazine was going too far though. Do you think she just wants to keep that bond with him?

Agreed--

it's much like the Duggars-- it's no one's business how many children they have. It's nobody's business if this woman nurses her kids to age 25! EXCEPT-- they MADE it our business with a TV show, in the case of the Duggars, and with a TIME magazine cover with this lady. Okay, great, you opened a national debate-- to what end? Has it changed anyone's mind? Or simply created more division in an already divided country?

Nothing like exploiting your children for a cause.

Ely82010

Hmmm, it's her decision what she does. I think putting it on a magazine was going too far though. Do you think she just wants to keep that bond with him?

Agreed--

it's much like the Duggars-- it's no one's business how many children they have. It's nobody's business if this woman nurses her kids to age 25! EXCEPT-- they MADE it our business with a TV show, in the case of the Duggars, and with a TIME magazine cover with this lady. Okay, great, you opened a national debate-- to what end? Has it changed anyone's mind? Or simply created more division in an already divided country?

Nothing like exploiting your children for a cause.

Well said!!