Bashing on the Forums
Replies
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There are a lot of sarcastic and very blunt people on here, agreed - just as you get with real life. I do feel bad for the folks who are new to this whole 'getting fit' thing, and new to MFP asking an innocent question and getting a lot of sarcasm. But there is a big difference between bashing a theory and bashing a person. For the latter - there is a report button.
On the other had,
- firstly - as you note, one of the thigs that the forum is for, and the topic of many posts, is advice - which inevitably leads to debate and disagreement. Also, advice does not mean ignore a post if they are doing something that is not healthy - especially when other MFPers may read it and think said action is a good idea.
- secondly, I find that it is just a prevalent that when someone posts something that people do not agree with get very defensive and rude, even if the advice given has been done in a way that is in no way rude.
I also personally find it just as rude for someone to post a question like "I am thinking of doing a water fast for 30 days, what do you think " and a bunch of folks spend time to explain why it is a bad idea (in amonsgt the sarcastic replies) and by the end of the thread, say they are going to do it anyway. That, I find rude on the posters part as they have basically had their mind made up and have wasted a bunch of people time.
So, in my long winded way, I am just trying to point out that it is not as black and white as "If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything"0 -
In case anyone was wondering about what kind of behavior I was referring to - one need only go through and read this thread and you can see exactly what I'm talking about.
I love sarcasm. I love humor. I'm so rarely offended by anything said or done to me, and people who get offended too easily tend to annoy me. But my humor and sarcams is NEVER intended to hurt anyone else or bring them down.
Just a bunch of childish bullying is all it is.
If you need to bring someone else down to relieve your own stress - that says a lot about you.
I have read through this thread and in all honesty I see any form of bashing. Joking and sarcasm, yes. Bashing, no.
I agree with this too. I honestly don't see it. Any comments in particular? I don't see bashing or bullying0 -
I think it's unwise to attach weight or importance to what people who have not proven their opinion to be of worth have to say, be it online or in RL.
I try so hard to be offended whilst posting on MFP.
Truly I do.
It's just that when people try to troll on here they do it so badly and their opinions are just so meh that I end up snorting in derision.
And not in a good way either...
You can choose how you wish to react. Never give the power to do that away to the unworthy.0 -
Each time that the word "bullying" is used to describe anything less than what it really means, it lessens it's significance. It's become the latest buzzword to describe simply disagreeing.Just a bunch of childish bullying is all it is.0 -
I think it's unwise to attach weight or importance to what people who have not proven their opinion to be of worth have to say, be it online or in RL.
I try so hard to be offended whilst posting on MFP.
Truly I do.
It's just that when people try to troll on here they do it so badly and their opinions are just so meh that I end up snorting in derision.
And not in a good way either...
You can choose how you wish to react. Never give the power to do that away to the unworthy.
I really and truly love your style!0 -
Each time that the word "bullying" is used to describe anything less than what it really means, it lessens it's significance. It's become the latest buzzword to describe simply disagreeing.
I, for one, feel EMOTIONALLY ABUSED0 -
In case anyone was wondering about what kind of behavior I was referring to - one need only go through and read this thread and you can see exactly what I'm talking about.
I love sarcasm. I love humor. I'm so rarely offended by anything said or done to me, and people who get offended too easily tend to annoy me. But my humor and sarcams is NEVER intended to hurt anyone else or bring them down.
Just a bunch of childish bullying is all it is.
If you need to bring someone else down to relieve your own stress - that says a lot about you.
I have read through this thread and in all honesty I see any form of bashing. Joking and sarcasm, yes. Bashing, no.
I agree with this too. I honestly don't see it. Any comments in particular? I don't see bashing or bullying
I don't think I know what bullying means anymore.0 -
The only borderline bashing is the calling out of one specific person as a troll. Apart from being ironic, it's pretty lame and demonstrates a lack of creativity.I have read through this thread and in all honesty I see any form of bashing. Joking and sarcasm, yes. Bashing, no.0 -
Each time that the word "bullying" is used to describe anything less than what it really means, it lessens it's significance. It's become the latest buzzword to describe simply disagreeing.Just a bunch of childish bullying is all it is.
Oh didn't you know? "Bullying" (in reality a very serious problem) on MFP means anyone who doesn't fully support a 3 week all cabbage diet. If you tell someone "That's unhealthy and here are the reasons why.." it's apparently no different than kicking a person in the ribs as they lay crying.
Everyone just wants to hear how pretty and smart they are. Say otherwise and you're a big old meanie.
Toughen up people.0 -
OK - I concede that there is no open "bashing" on this thread - although the definition can be subjective...
Might I suggest that it's blatant rudeness and the desire to put others down that I find intolerable? Would that phrase make it more acceptable to others here?
Disagreements happen - of course! Just as in real life - if I disagree with someone, I state my facts in as unemotional way as possible, listen to their point of view - and if there really can be no agreement met we can "agree to disagree". AS ADULTS!
If someone is posting about doing something that is physically harmful - ABSOLUTELY SPEAK UP! - but how about doing it in a way that doesn't cause EMOTIONAL harm....which could in turn trigger worse physically harmful behaviors.
OP's that post looking for advice (in your example regarding water fasting) and then ignoring the heaps of sound advice as to WHY this is an incredibly bad idea - I agree that this is rudeness, too...but is it necessary to have to put that person down?
MOST of the people that are responding here are doing so in what I consider a constructive manner. There are others out there that do not behave in such a mature fashion - and just like putting other people down. It is nothing more than bullying - They know who they are.0 -
I feel left out >.> I dunno who this is xDHm I am looking for one specific troll. I see she must have hit the back button.
HAHA, me too. Wonder if it's the same person, lmao.
I like you. LOL. I am glad other people noticed her too
Me either. :sad:0 -
Edited as pic too small
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In case anyone was wondering about what kind of behavior I was referring to - one need only go through and read this thread and you can see exactly what I'm talking about.OK - I concede that there is no open "bashing" on this thread - although the definition can be subjective...
"Bashing. I don't know what it is but everyone stop it!"0 -
OK - I concede that there is no open "bashing" on this thread - although the definition can be subjective...
Might I suggest that it's blatant rudeness and the desire to put others down that I find intolerable? Would that phrase make it more acceptable to others here?
Disagreements happen - of course! Just as in real life - if I disagree with someone, I state my facts in as unemotional way as possible, listen to their point of view - and if there really can be no agreement met we can "agree to disagree". AS ADULTS!
If someone is posting about doing something that is physically harmful - ABSOLUTELY SPEAK UP! - but how about doing it in a way that doesn't cause EMOTIONAL harm....which could in turn trigger worse physically harmful behaviors.
OP's that post looking for advice (in your example regarding water fasting) and then ignoring the heaps of sound advice as to WHY this is an incredibly bad idea - I agree that this is rudeness, too...but is it necessary to have to put that person down?
MOST of the people that are responding here are doing so in what I consider a constructive manner. There are others out there that do not behave in such a mature fashion - and just like putting other people down. It is nothing more than bullying - They know who they are.
I'm sorry, but how am I supposed to predict what tone is going to produce emotional harm or trigger negative behavior for someone else? I agree that politeness and decorum are good, but this is a website for adults and I am not responsible to guarantee the emotional safety of anonymous adults on the internet. And regarding the unhealthy behaviors and putting that person down? Sometimes it is necessary to prevent bad and unsafe information being passed to other people. I don't believe in coddling adults.0 -
If I acted on here the way I do with my best friends who I love dearly...I'd be kicked off near immediately.0
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Agreed. I love it when a post about hamburgers is rebutted with arguments about it derailing someone. :huh:
I'm sorry, but how am I supposed to predict what tone is going to produce emotional harm or trigger negative behavior for someone else? I agree that politeness and decorum are good, but this is a website for adults and I am not responsible to guarantee the emotional safety of anonymous adults on the internet. And regarding the unhealthy behaviors and putting that person down? Sometimes it is necessary to prevent bad and unsafe information being passed to other people. I don't believe in coddling adults.OK - I concede that there is no open "bashing" on this thread - although the definition can be subjective...
Might I suggest that it's blatant rudeness and the desire to put others down that I find intolerable? Would that phrase make it more acceptable to others here?
Disagreements happen - of course! Just as in real life - if I disagree with someone, I state my facts in as unemotional way as possible, listen to their point of view - and if there really can be no agreement met we can "agree to disagree". AS ADULTS!
If someone is posting about doing something that is physically harmful - ABSOLUTELY SPEAK UP! - but how about doing it in a way that doesn't cause EMOTIONAL harm....which could in turn trigger worse physically harmful behaviors.
OP's that post looking for advice (in your example regarding water fasting) and then ignoring the heaps of sound advice as to WHY this is an incredibly bad idea - I agree that this is rudeness, too...but is it necessary to have to put that person down?
MOST of the people that are responding here are doing so in what I consider a constructive manner. There are others out there that do not behave in such a mature fashion - and just like putting other people down. It is nothing more than bullying - They know who they are.0 -
People have to act like jerks to make themselves feel better...I try to ignore it for the post part.0
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I laughed so hard when I read this^^^0 -
You find two kinds of people on MFP:
Passive aggressive
and then you have the RAGE QUITTERS..... (the ones who are c^nts IRL and act that way on the internet)
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People have to act like jerks to make themselves feel better...I try to ignore it for the post part.
You are a moron!!!!!1!1!one!!
*wow
You were right, I feel great!!!!
(j/k of course)0 -
there is one particular troll i see in a lot of threads acting like she is the nutrition guru...i'm suprised she hasnt shown up here yet. The sad thing is she isnt in great shape at ALL, but constantly dismisses everyone else's fitness opinions if they are not the same as hers. It really amusing to see some one who obviously has a long way to go (as do we all) constantly bashing other people's appearances and calling herself "an hour glass" (uhhh NO you're not), and a "goddess". (yeeeah okkkk).0
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OK - I concede that there is no open "bashing" on this thread - although the definition can be subjective...
Might I suggest that it's blatant rudeness and the desire to put others down that I find intolerable? Would that phrase make it more acceptable to others here?
Disagreements happen - of course! Just as in real life - if I disagree with someone, I state my facts in as unemotional way as possible, listen to their point of view - and if there really can be no agreement met we can "agree to disagree". AS ADULTS!
If someone is posting about doing something that is physically harmful - ABSOLUTELY SPEAK UP! - but how about doing it in a way that doesn't cause EMOTIONAL harm....which could in turn trigger worse physically harmful behaviors.
OP's that post looking for advice (in your example regarding water fasting) and then ignoring the heaps of sound advice as to WHY this is an incredibly bad idea - I agree that this is rudeness, too...but is it necessary to have to put that person down?
MOST of the people that are responding here are doing so in what I consider a constructive manner. There are others out there that do not behave in such a mature fashion - and just like putting other people down. It is nothing more than bullying - They know who they are.
Making comments like "Would that phrase make it more acceptable to others here?" can be construed as rude and patronising also. As you say, its subjective.....
I actually find it ironic, that you make a general accusation on this thread that people are bashing, but when challenged on it, you admit there is no open bashing. Isn't making false accusations a form of rudeness and slightly dishonest? But maybe that it subjective too....
And re your last paragraph, are you referring to this thread or posts in general?
BTW: I am not disagreeing with you that posts should be done in such a way that is not upsetting, and some blatantly are - I am just trying to point out that people have a different view as to what that is.0 -
Just saw this on FB, thought it kind of applied...
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Unfortunately you cannot control who responds to any public forum post. You can always be the bigger person & ignore those that offend you.0
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I love the forums for the most part. Different opinions interst me. I am a pretty open minded person, and realize that there is always room for improvement. I do think that constructive criticism is a plus, because no one wants to be cut down or belittled just for thinking a certain way.
Yes, there are some people who just want to be told that they are pretty or get a little reassurance, but they are usually pretty straightforward with that desire. It is not necessary to go ahead and say something ugly just because you have a different personality type. I don't think that is a "different opinion" more like an insult. But that is just me.
I look forward to see what the forums have to offer each day. God knows they make me laugh daily!
Keep it up everyone and have a GREAT DAY!0 -
"circlejerk" used in one thread, a picture of a gentleman's very... Solidified "package " in a workout pic on another thread, and now, "butthurt"... I am getting concerned I may be on the wrong forum the last 24 hours lololoko
Sadly, I think this is when folks really get butthurt: they miss the sarcasm and humor. Folks are making light of a situation or topic, but not the poster. I don't know about anyone else, but humor is what gets me through life.Just curious OP what do you consider bashing then? I don't see too much of it tbh and im on the forum quite a bit. A lot of joking,and sarcasm xD but not a ton of bashing.0 -
I think some times i see posts that turn into an unnecessary flame war.
But most of the time what many call "bashing, attacking, rude" is really not at all. You disagree, give an opinion and its OMG this is a support site!!! balhhh complain and such. Many are too sensitive :P
when a poster starts a thread, comments dont go the way they want and all the MFP cronies come in and rip the poster a new one, then run off and post another thread directed at the first thread started and continue to ridicule and post "sarcasm" and "funny comments" this is a clear example of basking, attacking and being rude.... it happens almost every single day on MFP0 -
I wonder if people who tout this phrase realize what a smarmy, condescending, arrogant and ultimately impotent use of the phrase it is. In principle, it's great. I get it. Why say anything at all if you just want to be mean? That's fine. But in every instance I've ever seen or heard the infamous Bambi quote used with adults, it's always someone who is judging someone else, attempting to publicly shame someone into a behavior standard that aligns with their own.
I never heard this growing up. It wasn't until I was an adult and heard another adult say this. I looked at her like she had a 3rd arm growing out of her forehead.Isn't there a phrase that most of us heard when we were little, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
What adult capable of critical thinking actually believes they are enacting change by telling someone who is being a jerk on an Internet forum "if you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all."? Let's be honest. Trotting out the lesson bestowed by Thumper's dad** on an Internet forum is little more than self-righteous moral posturing. When something negative is said, pointing it out publicly (often quoting it!) and shaming the author only brings more attention to the comment itself.
Sorry, I am grumpy today. It must be because I'm hungry, lonely and my shoes are too small. I really don't like the Thumper reference, and how it's used. Unless, of course, you want to shame people about eating the blossoms.
I won't pretend that people can get impatient, rude and sometimes even mean here. There are jerks on the Internet. There are jerks on MFP (one may have typed this message). If someone is breaking a forum rule, please report that person.
The argument about being respectful and not being so thin-skinned has already been made. I just wanted to cry about the Thumper reference. It really does pain me.
** Yes, it is a lesson bestowed by Thumper's dad. It is Thumper's mom that reminds Thumper what his dad taught his earlier that day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi8f9g8-Wpc
Yes, I realize this post could be construed as little more than self-righteous moral posturing. I own that.
Yes, I need a hug.0 -
Yeah I agree, that is pretty obnoxious.I think some times i see posts that turn into an unnecessary flame war.
But most of the time what many call "bashing, attacking, rude" is really not at all. You disagree, give an opinion and its OMG this is a support site!!! balhhh complain and such. Many are too sensitive :P
when a poster starts a thread, comments dont go the way they want and all the MFP cronies come in and rip the poster a new one, then run off and post another thread directed at the first thread started and continue to ridicule and post "sarcasm" and "funny comments" this is a clear example of basking, attacking and being rude.... it happens almost every single day on MFP0 -
Nah, that would be "crabs". You get that **** and it's bad.just what are we talking about here? carbs? they're bad right?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0
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