Men gamers..

HappyKillMore

You really need to rethink your self worth. You're working your *kitten* off, to be ignored, your family ignored, and all that. That's not right, or good in any way.

I'm an avid gamer. There are occasions when my wife teases me for neglecting her, but there are also times when I tease her for the same.

As has been said before, gaming is escapism. It lets me become the hero of my own story, the center of my own universe. It's a form of self-empowerment, because in that universe I'm in charge and all kinds of awesome.

For each of you, OP especially, talking about the significant other spending all their time in the game world and completely ignoring you, I have this message: THEY'RE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. I don't expect you to listen to me, but some day that message might become fully realized. The question you have to ask yourself is whether they, as a person, have enough value in the relationship to be worth continuing and making your own sacrifices; or if you're doing all the compromising.

For the OP, I'm not in your shoes and I haven't seen your family dynamic, so I might be off-base. However, you say that he ignores you and ignores the kids; why stay with him? The counseling didn't work--he EXPECTS you to stay and conform to his lifestyle no matter what. As I see it, you've got three choices: learn to live with the situation (which I DO NOT RECOMMEND), file for divorce, or get your physical needs satisfied with another partner and keep your family separate from that action. The third option is dangerous though because it could lead to him filing for divorce and using the cheating as a means to win a custody battle for the kids.

You're important, you're special, and you matter. You don't need to put up with this situation. He's never going to change. Don't you think you deserve better? Just remember that for every gaming-absorbed guy out there, there's another one like me who knows how to balance the game life with the home life. And no, you may not have me!

mixedfeelings

I'm a female gamer and I would choose games over my significant other any day of the week, I do speak to him when I'm playing though, that's only fair.

yojibalinese

I'm a woman and sometimes I prefer to game than hang out with my SO. XD

scruffykaz

yup.. he says its all my fault.

he has no sex drive at all..
he refuses to go to conceling.. because i am the only problem.. its all my fault. everything.

I really hope I'm not speaking out of turn here but I really don't think that "everything" is your fault. Obviously I don't know the situation so I can't comment specifically but if he is not meeting your needs that is a problem and would rather play on the computer than be you that is a big problem and one that you'll need to overcome together but he needs to want to.

Hubby is a gamer, as am I. I knew when we got together he was a gamer and I'm happy for him to do this but I also like us to have one or two evenings a week where we spend some time together, whether this is just watching TV or going out for a meal.

Generally speaking, is it possible to arrange a regular "date night" or some time that you can spend together?

Whatever you do in life, I believe it's about balance...

DeckerDoll

This has happened to me a FEW times...not over the course of years. It made me mad. So I stared gaming too, with the sole intention of owing his *kitten*. Then I ended up liking it. Somehow it fixed whatever problem there was...so now we do both.

A couple that games together stays together xD

Foodaholic4Life

yup.. he says its all my fault.

he has no sex drive at all..
he refuses to go to conceling.. because i am the only problem.. its all my fault. everything.

No way you're the problem...just sayin'.

Llyrian

There's a difference between being an avid gamer who needs "me time" and burying yourself in an escapist activity because you want to ignore the problem. I love games and resented my ex who looked down on my hobby. I was thrilled when I met someone I could play games with. But after a few years, we fell into a similar situation.

I hate to say it, but you probably already know he's not prioritizing video games first, he's choosing to be distracted because he doesn't have interest in sex with you. Don't beat yourself up or take it as your fault (easier said than done), but the problem is definitely a symptom of greater issues. When you say he says it's all you - I know that pain too. Deal with the greater issues now before you find out he was perfectly capable of sleeping with someone else. His refusal to acknowledge any problem will likely not go well though. Prepare yourself to walk. If he smartens up and is willing to work at things, great. If not, you need to take care of yourself. It takes two people to maintain a marriage.

Don't write off all gamers. Just like people who enjoy drinks - many of us can handle fun and escapism in moderation.

d0gma

Which game are we talking about and how far along am I?

calvert6183

Next time, [lace bets, its you fail the mission, take your top off, make it fun. The whole role playing think. Its all about meeting each other's interists.