If you have an amazing body you are clearly OBSESSED
I was speaking to a friend about what we find attractive in a guy - in terms of body shape. I like a guy to be pretty cut and ripped. i work hard at my body, and I would love to have a guy who knows about fitness and can work out with me and keep each other motivated etc.
She said that she would rather have an averagely built guy because guys with amazing bodies are obsessive about their bodies , diet and ultimately obsessed with themselves- because a certain degree of obsession ( i prefer the term devotion...) is necessary to get that ripped.
What do you ladies think?? what are you observations ? Would you prefer a less awesomely built guy so you dont feel like you are competing with his gorgeous frame or pressured to look as good?
But also just interested to know if you guys would deem yourself obsessed with your bodies? and if you think the same about girls who have amazing bodies and weigh their food, and gym all the time etc, etc.
She said that she would rather have an averagely built guy because guys with amazing bodies are obsessive about their bodies , diet and ultimately obsessed with themselves- because a certain degree of obsession ( i prefer the term devotion...) is necessary to get that ripped.
What do you ladies think?? what are you observations ? Would you prefer a less awesomely built guy so you dont feel like you are competing with his gorgeous frame or pressured to look as good?
But also just interested to know if you guys would deem yourself obsessed with your bodies? and if you think the same about girls who have amazing bodies and weigh their food, and gym all the time etc, etc.
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Replies
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I wouldn't call it "obsessed" as that to me is a negative word. I'd just call it taking pride in your appearance.
I could be attracted to anybody as long as they were healthy, but having somebody fit & muscular is definitely a bonus! I wouldn't feel pressured to look good, and if somebody had the same goals as me, that would be amazing!0 -
I think there is definitely a happy-medium. Caring about your health and fitness is a very admirable and attractive quality. It also shows the ability to be disciplined and self-motivated - more sexy qualities.
Where it becomes unhealthy imo is when it interferes with other priorities in his life. Compulsively exercising, trying to control what everyone else eats or does/being overly critical.
I guess for me the sexy body is just a bonus, give me an ambitious, manly mind.
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I use the word obsessed a lot...and get a lot of slack for it...I don't think obsession is a bad thing...because I guess I view it as determination.
As far as a guys body...idk. It's the person and having a great body may or may not make the person self centered. That's more of a personality trait vs dedication or obsession. I prefer the man who loves me (hubs) regardless of his shape or size...although he does look great.0 -
To a certain extent, maybe. I wouldn't call it an obsession, though, since that implies its a mental issue of some sort. Most people with amazing bodies do work hard to keep it that way so they'll be active, in the gym on a schedule, eating healthy probably 80% of the time, etc etc. So if you can't join them on some of that, then you're not involved in a big part of their life.
I'm the opposite. I'm not a big fan of dating fat or unhealthy people. Same goes for smokers or heavy drinkers. I'm not even ripped or shredded but I don't like to date people who have an unhealthy lifestyle. I can't be with someone who's idea of a fun time is watching the game eating pizza wings and beer every few days. I'm also aware that I could just not eat the bar food, which is what happens, but then I look like a weirdo to his friends. I dated a guy like this once. He never worked out and didn't even make any effort to take care of himself. I tried to encourage it a bit by inviting him to the gym with me or to go for a run but I'd get the "I'm tired blah blah blah". So that didn't work out.0 -
It depends on the individual. Someone can look amazing and not be vain, just like someone can look... uh... less than amazing and still be vain. Feeling pride in one's appearance - knowing you look good and knowing you work hard to look good - is one thing. Thinking that makes you better than anyone else is something entirely different.
But it really boils down to compatibility. If someone is big into clean eating and needs to hit the gym every day without fail, he wouldn't be a good match for a pizza loving slacker like me. Plus, the older I get, the more I realize that looks just don't matter. What turns your head isn't nearly as important as what keeps your heart.0 -
I've never been attracted to a really muscular man, although I am very fond of the muscles my dh has. I'd prefer practical muscles, for doing things with, than ones just for posing. Luckily my dh has no idea he is good looking or he might have been 'taken' already when I met him :laugh:0
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I totally agree with everything said here.
People have called me "obsessive" about fitness and healthy eating, and to be honest, it really annoys me. Fitness is my hobby. Some people paint, I lift heavy things. :laugh: My mother says to me "at the gym again?!!!" like I am coming from a strip club. haha!
And although I see were my friend was coming from, i think you need to look for someone who is passionate about some of the things you are passionate about. It would become a huge problem for me in a relationship if I was buying healthy food and eating healthy, and my bf was eating ben and jerry's continuously and eating macdonalds on a bi weekly basis.0 -
I use the word obsessed a lot...and get a lot of slack for it...I don't think obsession is a bad thing...because I guess I view it as determination.
As far as a guys body...idk. It's the person and having a great body may or may not make the person self centered. That's more of a personality trait vs dedication or obsession. I prefer the man who loves me (hubs) regardless of his shape or size...although he does look great.
agree with jen. i am obsessed, i will admit it. my husband isn't as obsessed as i am as he doesn't have the time, because of his work schedule at the moment. i love him ripped, average or flabby. however, when i met him- he was extremely fit and muscular. he wasn't obsessed though- it was his love of keeping fit, working out, hiking, free diving etc- that made him this way- not how his body looked. i don't think i would like a guy who was more concerned than i was about how his body looked. just like i wouldn't like it if he took longer than i did to do his hair. hope this makes sense, it's early and my coffee hasn't kicked in yet. lol!0 -
I use the word obsessed a lot...and get a lot of slack for it...I don't think obsession is a bad thing...because I guess I view it as determination.
As far as a guys body...idk. It's the person and having a great body may or may not make the person self centered. That's more of a personality trait vs dedication or obsession. I prefer the man who loves me (hubs) regardless of his shape or size...although he does look great.
agree with jen. i am obsessed, i will admit it. my husband isn't as obsessed as i am as he doesn't have the time- because of his work schedule at the moment. i love him ripped, average or flabby. however, when i met him- he was extremely fit and muscular. he wasn't obsessed though- it was his love of working out- hiking, free diving etc that made him this way- not how his body looked. i don't think i would like a guy who was more concerned than i was about how his body looked. just like i wouldn't like it if it took longer than i did to do his hair. hope this makes sense, it's early and my coffee hasn't kicked in yet. lol!
I would love to find a guy who has an amazing body because he enjoys doing things like hiking and free diving etc. *sigh* bet you got the last available one. :ohwell:0 -
I use the word obsessed a lot...and get a lot of slack for it...I don't think obsession is a bad thing...because I guess I view it as determination.
As far as a guys body...idk. It's the person and having a great body may or may not make the person self centered. That's more of a personality trait vs dedication or obsession. I prefer the man who loves me (hubs) regardless of his shape or size...although he does look great.
agree with jen. i am obsessed, i will admit it. my husband isn't as obsessed as i am as he doesn't have the time, because of his work schedule at the moment. i love him ripped, average or flabby. however, when i met him- he was extremely fit and muscular. he wasn't obsessed though- it was his love of keeping fit, working out, hiking, free diving etc- that made him this way- not how his body looked. i don't think i would like a guy who was more concerned than i was about how his body looked. just like i wouldn't like it if he took longer than i did to do his hair. hope this makes sense, it's early and my coffee hasn't kicked in yet. lol!
I agree with all this AND hoping the coffee has kicked in for you because I'm caffeine free and now have the worst craving!!
Enjoy it for me, please!!! 0 -
I can go for anything from average to competitive BBer, but I have noticed a difference in the lifestyles between the 'types'. The competitive BBer I dated would wake up and eat at 5am. The more relaxed guys were just in generally good shape from being active daily doing fun stuff. Both were hot in their own ways. I understand the 'obsession' aspect because I've been there. Doesn't bother me any! I want a great personality to go with the body. ^_^0
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i feel like a bb and so i worry a lot about how my body is looking. I could never be with someone who doesn't watch their calories. They would find me really annoying weighing everything i eat :noway:0
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i feel like a bb and so i worry a lot about how my body is looking. I could never be with someone who doesn't watch their calories. They would find me really annoying weighing everything i eat :noway:
Haha , mentioned that i was going to buy a scale and start weighing my food...oh the loooooookkkkkksss :noway: But hell I am going to do it anyway!!!!0 -
For me..after my first trip to afghanistan back in 2009 the gym and my nutrition were the only things that made sense to me anymore, I wouldnt say Im obsessed with it, it just keeps my head together and I look good for it but thats just the natural course of years of training0
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I think that's what people say when they're not focused on a fit body. It makes them feel better about not caring that much about their bodies. I used to do it too. Now that I care I realize it's not being obsessed, it's just not constantly trying to keep yourself blind to reality. But that's what I think for most people that are into fitness. There are plenty of people out there that are obsessed and very vain about their bodies.0
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It is the same as anybody who is really into their hobby. The hobby will take up a significant amount of their leisure time.0
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here's logic in my area: "oh you workout and stuff , you must be a self-obssessed arsehole who only wants to bang people."
"and if you act like a nice person aswell you must have ulterior motives..."
This is obviously not true but people are going to steretype anyway...0 -
its dedication! but its not an unhealthy obsession. If anything, being healthy is something that i think is ok to be obsessive about. Honestly I would rather be with a guy who works out and is healthy even if he is not as attractive as someone who is lazy with a naturally fantastic body.0
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here's logic in my area: "oh you workout and stuff , you must be a self-obssessed arsehole who only wants to bang people."
"and if you act like a nice person aswell you must have ulterior motives..."
This is obviously not true but people are going to steretype anyway...
I happen to think you are a sweetheart...oh and Bacon.0 -
I think it all depends on your outlook. I don't judge because I know it takes a lot of hard work to look good and build muscle but that's just not for me. I think its about how each person views exercise. My friends might think I'm obsessed because I run about 5 times a week but they don't exercise at all. For me, I might think someone that spends hours at the gym may be obsessed. It just comes down to where you are on the exercise spectrum.0
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I guess it depends on the guy. It's like assuming all skinny guys are nerds lol.
I love muscles but I have seen some real self centered jerks at the gym but I've also met short spindly self centered jerks as well.0 -
Before I started dieting, I never cared about what I ate or how I looked. I wasn't self-obsessed at all.
How come women weren't all over me ?????0 -
here's logic in my area: "oh you workout and stuff , you must be a self-obssessed arsehole who only wants to bang people."
"and if you act like a nice person aswell you must have ulterior motives..."
This is obviously not true but people are going to steretype anyway...
I happen to think you are a sweetheart...oh and Bacon.
:flowerforyou: <-- pretend that flower is bacon ( this site really needs a offer up bacon emote) 0 -
IMO it depends a lot on genetics to determine whether or not you need to be obsessive to get a stellar physique. I'm an endomorph, so I would. I have been pretty diligently working out and controlling my diet for over a year now, and am still not anywhere near ripped. My body is just naturally inclined to stay fatty. In order to shred, it will take a level of dedication that will, necessarily, be obsessive. Or, I can just get strong as hell and never cut up. That's up to me to decide.0
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I'm obsessed. I admit it. LOL And I agree with OP. If my husband was sitting on the couch and choking down Ben & Jerry's and wasn't as "committed" to fitness as I am, there would be a problem. The key to a successful "obsession" is balance. My fitness regimen is definitely a priority but if a higher priority bumps it, I have to learn to relax a bit too and not get all stressed that I'm not following my plan. (It doesn't happen often... mostly because I usually find ways to work around the obstacles and get done what I need to do fitnessw-wise.)0
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IMO it depends a lot on genetics to determine whether or not you need to be obsessive to get a stellar physique. I'm an endomorph, so I would. I have been pretty diligently working out and controlling my diet for over a year now, and am still not anywhere near ripped. My body is just naturally inclined to stay fatty. In order to shred, it will take a level of dedication that will, necessarily, be obsessive. Or, I can just get strong as hell and never cut up. That's up to me to decide.
I disagree but that's a different point.
It wouldn't bother me if the girl I was dating wasn't particularly interested in fitness, provided she was relatively healthy. I don't expect someone else to weigh their food like I do, otherwise that'd be two weirdo's in one relationship, where there is only space for one - me. :laugh:
But I think there is this perception that men who are cut are self absorbed. I'm sure there are some, just like there are some fat people who are self absorbed, skinny people etcetc.0 -
Funnily enough, you don't have to be utterly obsessed to get a good body. Its just another stereotype.
Kinda like saying all fat people are fat because they are fat glutenous pigs who are fat because they are just greedy, selfish centre individuals who have no caring for the health implications of their life styles.
As with all aspects of life, its far from black and white...0 -
i feel like a bb and so i worry a lot about how my body is looking. I could never be with someone who doesn't watch their calories. They would find me really annoying weighing everything i eat :noway:
Haha , mentioned that i was going to buy a scale and start weighing my food...oh the loooooookkkkkksss :noway: But hell I am going to do it anyway!!!!
After I found MFP, I bought a cheapo food scale. It is now one of the most used appliances in my kitchen. Prior to MFP, I probably would have thought it was a bit much. But now, I look at it as just another handy device to help keep me on track.0 -
Funnily enough, you don't have to be utterly obsessed to get a good body. Its just another stereotype.
Kinda like saying all fat people are fat because they are fat glutenous pigs who are fat because they are just greedy, selfish centre individuals who have no caring for the health implications of their life styles.
As with all aspects of life, its far from black and white...
AfreakingMEN!
People dont realise I actually ENJOY working out. Its not a chore- I love it, my day doesnt feel complete without it. Its more then about physical appearance for me. its about my sanity, being productive and doing something I really enjoy. It just so happens that my body benefits from the thing i enjoy...0 -
The hate for Ben & Jerry's in this thread makes me sad.
Dedication is a good thing. Obsession is a bad thing. The problem is, most people don't understand the difference.0
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