When did this site become so judgmental ?

Lyadeia

I personally just think people are way too sensitive on this website, and they perceive things as being "rude" or "judgemental" when that wasn't really the intention of the poster.

I've been told that I was being "rude" and "judgemental" after answering a simple question such as "Which cleanse is best?" with something similar to "I don't believe any of the cleanses are worthwhile, and you don't need them to lose weight. You can cleanse your body by eating healthier foods, drinking plenty of water, and working out." But because I didn't specifically name a cleanse, I was being rude or something.

Sometimes if people would read the response with a different opinion than their own, they might learn something new, discover a new viewpoint worth researching, or at very least acknowledge that there other viewpoints out there. Seriously, telling you a different idea than your own is not being disrespectful, snarky, or rude. If you want to eat 750 calories a day and workout for 2 hours a day on top of that, then you go to the forums and ask why you feel like crap, basically any response you get that isn't blowing smoke up your @$$ is perceived as being mean...when it wasn't intended to be so.

Now for the a slim minority of people who honestly ARE rude...just block them. The rest of us out number them so vastly, that when they are blocked, you won't notice a difference.

angels960

I posted something on here when I first started on this site over 75 days ago. The people were so rude, and not helpful at all. I have been avoiding going on any of the forums because of it. I don't need their negative attitude and rude comments. They actually started sending me rude emails after my post...

I finally had my post deleted so the emails would stop.

Are you serious??

I found this HILARIOUS, people actually took the time to email you? That is vicious and sadly they have a lot of time to be doing that. What a horrible experience.

tigersword

I find it hilarious that this thread is everything the OP is complaining about. A bunch of rude, nasty, judgemental people. The difference is the people in this thread are all being nasty and rude behind the backs of the people they are complaining about, rather than saying anything to the supposed rude people they are complaining about.

Nothing like starting an entire thread with the sole purpose of calling people rude, as the ultimate expression of being rude.

sarahmy3

gotta love a lecture a day!! i don't care a razz if folk have a whinge...a few harsh words on a page pfffttt!! as long as they feel better for it I will still sleep!!

I would be worried if I started to respond emotionally to the monitor though ;-)

sarahmy3

This site became judgmental the moment they allowed humans to use it.

bahahahahahah! might be time to bail!!

dotido

I have been using this site for a long time and this is what I learned about the forums:

People will be nice to you and support you IF you agree with the majority of people.

JustCallMeLucky

I was on this site last year and everyone was so supportive, this week since I've been back I've just seen the most annoying and mean spirited posts in response to questions and requests for feedback/support. Even this thread has some ridiculous comments being posted.

Sabine_Stroehm

I have seen folks be so supportive over and over of someone who kept contradicting herself, unsaying what she just said, and frankly, whining.

I've seen folks supporting people in unhealthy goals. Seemingly without even considering the goal, or doing the math to convert stones to pounds or whatever.

I've seen people jump on the "should I eat my exercise calories" crowd, rather than ignoring the thread, or suggesting they do a search, politely.

I've seen the "it's just math" crowd pounce on anyone who suggests that a deficit may not work for them.

And I've seen the OP feel ganged up on when folks are merely concerned about a given goal or approach.

I've seen folks seeking support, or information.
I've seen folks seeking approval. Nothing less.

In other words: I've seen all kinds. I guess it's like life.

That said: I'm going to continue to be mindful of my own replies, particularly to teen girls and young women who strive for the unhealthy. I won't feed into that, and will try not to give their eating issues undue attention.

I think it's important for us all to remember that not everyone here is an adult, or uses adult judgment. In fact, many are much younger than the 18 years of age required (including the kid wanting to talk about masturbating. He was 16, but no one seemed to care as they joined in with their own "calorie burning" stories...)

TeaRexParty

this, I couldn't have said it better

This is actually a quite fascinating (to me anyway :P) internet phenomenon.

Life on communities and forums follow this cycle that have many similarities with "real life" but it moves much faster.
Coming to a forum like this for example, is for some people a bit like meeting a great girl or guy and falling head over heels. You've found the one and it's SO GREAT. You keep finding things in common - like minded people with goals the same as you and threads that is just what you wanted but since your glasses still have that rose shimmering filter, you skim over the rest. Then, depending on your personality or the level of involvement, the honey moon period lasts for a while (say 6 months) and then you suddenly start noticing flaws that you could swear was not there before. Then, you notice more and more. He leaves his sock hanging on the bathroom mirror - someone is nasty in a forum reply. How did this happen?! Why did it change? The thing is that it didn't really change, the way you looked at it did.
The only thing one can do is to see what one doesn't like and then either be the opposite oneself, or kick the loser to the curb.

tripitena

I find it ironic that people are being judgmental about judgmental people in this thread.

:laugh:

People like that arent worth my time in real life , much less online. Ignore and dont feed the trolls.

ILoveJesus72

Well I read this entire thread Here is what I've learned as someone who is overweight and working feverishly to get my weight down and my choices under control.

1. Don't be too thin skinned on here. (learned that a LONG time ago when AOL was the big deal and chatrooms were hot!)

2. Be prepared for brutal honesty and learn to deal with it. I have a friend on here who is brutally honest with folks. Period. And she makes no excuses for it. I can deal.

3. Dont expect everyone to pat me on the back just because I'm "trying." My time of just skating by and "trying" are over!! I outed myself and my eating habits on this website wanting accountability.

4. But that all being said, I'm 40. I've been married to a loud, obnoxious Baptist Pastor for 20 yrs and I have two grown, loud, abrasive sons. I can handle pretty much anything! :bigsmile:

Just dont wear your heart on your sleeve on this site. Be prepared that when you post you might come across someone who is abrasive and doesn't sugar coat anything. You'll find that one person who wants to hug you and tell you it's all ok. We are all different grades of sandpaper......it takes sandpaper to make a smooth surface.

That's my few cents. I LOVE MFP!! :flowerforyou:

Pebble321

I don't think it's changed much in the nearly 18 months that I've been on here.... some people are supportive and helpful, others are frustrated and cranky, others are downright argumentative.
I just see it as a little subsection of human life - a mix of nice, not-so-nice and downright nasty.
I also think it goes in cycles on forums, depending on who is most active and answering questions at the time.

My best advice is to THINK before posting a question - you may not get the answers/affirmation you are seeking, can you deal with contradictory answers and people who don't agree with your point of view? If not, better not to post.