Husband wants to take over my gym time- advice

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  • jetabear10
    jetabear10 Posts: 375 Member
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    How about alternating days? One day you go in the morning and he goes in the evening. The next day he gets to go in the morning. That way, if he doesn't follow through, you are still getting to workout and don't have to give up all your mornings.

    THIS totally is a great compromise (and he IS being selfish)

    P.S. Congrats on being so super successful! Keep up the good work!
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 756 Member
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    Compromising in a relationship is key; however, both parties need to be willing. It sounds as if you are the only willing party. I would suggest getting some DVD’s to do at home. This way you can still hit the gym at least once for your weights, and then do cardio at home. I think its best that he takes the latter workout slot because he is not accustom to waking up early in the morning. If he isn’t going to put in the effort to build a regiment that consist of him getting up at the crack of dawn there is no reason for you to give it up since you already have a flow.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    It seems like everyone is kinda saying similar things, it just sounds like both of you are being a little childish in a way. So what if it's crowded at night. Compromise. Someone has to go at night and someone goes in the morning. You could alternate your schedules once a month or something do someone gets the sucky schedule for a month. That's just how it is. When you are juggling family life, you can't always just do what you want. He sounds like he's being kinda unreasonable, so, I'd say, give him what he wants for a month. If he doesn't take advantage of it, have another talk.
  • amandamotley
    amandamotley Posts: 63
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    Someone may have already said this, but is there a space where you can do cardio in your home? Maybe invest in a couple of good DVDs so that whoever isn't going to the gym that morning can still get in some cardio?
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
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    I have been working out in the mornings for since November and been pretty successful (lost 72 pounds!). I do weight training in the morning (go to the gym from 4:30-6), and sometimes go back at night for cardio. We have young children, so I go to the gym before my husband has to go to work. If I go at night, I go after the kids are in bed.

    Because I've been so successful, I've been posting motivational things on Facebook and everyone around me has been 'catching' the bug to get fit, including my husband. But my husband wants me to stop going to the gym so that he can go. He doesn't like to go at night b/c the gym is too "busy." I don't like to do my weight training at night for the same reason, so I understand that.

    I offered to get up earlier and hit the gym from 3-4:30 but he says an hour and a half is not enough time for him to do what he wants to do in the gym. He has been trying to get back into the gym, and every time hasn't stayed an hour. All last week I asked him if he was going to go the next day. Today I got up early and did the gym, then came home to find him in bed, and he hadn't even set his alarm!

    He was getting upset, because for a while I was going twice a day, everyday. Said that was keeping him from getting to go. I stopped going the second time everyday and he never started going b/c he hatted doing weights at night. I don't think it's fair that I'm on a roll with my weight loss and his starting will slow me down. Especially if he isn't going to follow through when I change my plans for him.

    How do I make him understand that I want to support his getting fit, but don't want to compromise my successful pace? The week he asked me to stop going twice in a day I was loosing a pound a day. I gave up a pound a day trend so that he could NOT go to the gym.

    I'm also thinking a compromise might be to do my cardio in the morning. That has only been a 1/2 hour to 45 min routine and would give him more time in the morning. Then I could do my weights at night. I don't feel like changing my routine if he isn't going to really get up!

    Guess I'll have to see what you all say, and discuss with him at least one more time. Thanks!

    Losing a pound a day isnt great but, it also depends on your body.

    Anyway, my husband doesnt do this but, he does something like it and I too give in. I like to come home from work and get my workout in ASAP. He can go pick up the little one and while I am waiting for him to get home, I can walk or whatever. I whines about me doing that sometimes. I have a Zumba class 2 nights a week and on some nights, he says, "Do you really HAVE to go to Zumba tonight?" or on the nights I walk, he says, "Do you have to walk tonight?" Sometimes, he will try to help me out and say, lets go get the little one and eat and we can walk together on the way home (stop at the park) or we can walk when we get home together with the stroller. WELL, most of the time, that doesnt happen...we take to long and it starts getting dark (not too bad now with later sun but...) Then, I end up not walking and then get upset that we dont.

    We both need to talk to our husbands and tell them, LOOK, this is what I am doing for me, if you can fit your "fitness" in around mine, OK, and if not, and your serious, we will compromise and make a schedule. BUT, make sure they realize that if they arent serious, that is fine but, we wont compromise until they are SERIOUS about wanting to do this.

    GOOD LUCK to the both of us!! :)
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    If you have the spare funds, could you purchase some free weights and do them at home? I know I find the gym alot more motivating though.

    I wish you luck!!!!!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Have you considered that maybe this isn't about scheduling, it's about envy and/or control?
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
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    maybe you guys can alternate days and on your "off" day you can do a video at home.
  • brendansmom1
    brendansmom1 Posts: 530 Member
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    Personally, I think going to the gym 2x a day is not necessary....switch off...you go at night and let him go in the morning...you can always do a video in the morning while he is at the gym. Compromise is so important...and this is really a no brainer :)
  • Tanny3
    Tanny3 Posts: 26
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    Losing a pound a day isn't healthy...

    Why don't you just go to the gym at separate times?

    not so easy when you have kids and thats what they are trying to do!
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
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    How old are your kids? Doesn't the gym offer people to watch your kids while you are there? That could be an idea. Or maybe switch off. Buy a weight training workout video. Let him go to the gym one morning and then ya'll alternate. You can still get your workout in with a video. And then if you see that he still isn't going then get your gym time back. He needs to not stop pushing you to go when he doesn't even push himself to wake up. But at the same time if he also wants to lose weight then I think you should also motivate him. Ya'll just need to find a way to compromise.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
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    You guys need to compromise, but that being said....your husband is being selfish. You offered to go to the gym from 3a-4:30 and that's not good enough because he needs longer than 1.5 hrs in the gym? Give me a break. He does not need more time than that. If you use your time wisely in the gym, ANY amount of time is helpful.

    Maybe you could invest in your own weight set up at home so that you can both do strength training whenever you want. Then you'd only have to workout cardio times at your gym. You could also alternate days or times. One person goes in the am and the other person goes in the pm. If you have to cut out 2-a-days for a while so be it. If he doesn't follow through (he likely won't), I would go right back to my previous schedule.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
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    Losing a pound a day is not necessarily unhealthy if you are doing it the right way. Look at the people on the Biggest Loser. All those huge weekly weight drops are encouraged by and overseen by professional trainers and doctors. On the other hand, if you are doing something off the wall that is not medically accepted, that's another story.

    Contestants on the bigger loser are on a very restricted diet and probably burn more than they consume. That isn't healthy.
  • k2charmed4u
    k2charmed4u Posts: 282
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    Do the gym offer a cresh? Then you could go together before the kids are in bed. If not can they not go to family or friends for a few hours every other day so he can get his workout in?
  • cygnetpro
    cygnetpro Posts: 419 Member
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    Could you guys invest in a weight system/gym equipment for home? That might solve a lot of the issues.
  • hosegirl
    hosegirl Posts: 157
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    Your husband in jealous. He is jealous, of your dedication and making the commitment to get healthy. Did he go to the gym before? The only thing keeping him from the gym is himself. He can’t get to the gym because you have the perfect time to go. You have adjusted your schedule and routine so that he could go. But he can’t seem to get the energy to go. Sorry, but that is another excuse for him to blame you why he can’t go. Maybe if you could find someone to watch the kids while you are at the gym. Is there a babysitting service at the gym that you could use? If so, I would look into it for at least a week. See if he takes the opportunity to go if not then I would continue with your time. Because it is your time.
  • jjblogs
    jjblogs Posts: 327 Member
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    I think you're both being selfish. Just alternate days like people are suggesting. simple. If you want to do more...go for a run on days that it's not your gym time...or slip in a dvd.
  • DMUND
    DMUND Posts: 299 Member
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    I agree, a pound a day isn't healthy, so I'm glad you stopped that trend.

    Can you guys alternate days? Since you both hate to go in the evenings, but there's only so much morning to go around, perhaps you can alternate. You go in the mornings on MWF, and in the evenings on T/TH. He goes the opposite times. Then you both get to enjoy some mornings in the gym, but nobody's having to get up at 3 in the morning. And if he gets to the point that he's not getting up to go on his mornings, you can re-visit the situation and talk about getting your mornings back since he doesn't want to get up.

    I was going to say the same thing!! Compromise and alternate days. Your muscles do need a break sometimes too. Keep up the great work, hang in there and tell your hubby to start appreciating all the hard work you are doing and since you figured out what works for you, he will have to figure out what works for him! Again, did I say compromise and alternate mornings???
  • KickassAugust
    KickassAugust Posts: 1,430 Member
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    1. Why not with your new fit physique, wrestle him to the ground, get him in a head lock and keep squeezing him untill he submits?

    or

    2. Sit down together and come up with a compromise that suits you both.

    I prefer option 1 as he sounds like he's being a bit of a d**k. Not an easy situation but you need to get him to understand that he can't just push you about like that. You have done fantastically well so why should you give it up just because he decides so?! Good luck, i hope you sort it out. x

    Oh oh, squeeze him until he submits. =)
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Your husband in jealous. He is jealous, of your dedication and making the commitment to get healthy. Did he go to the gym before? The only thing keeping him from the gym is himself. He can’t get to the gym because you have the perfect time to go. You have adjusted your schedule and routine so that he could go. But he can’t seem to get the energy to go. Sorry, but that is another excuse for him to blame you why he can’t go. Maybe if you could find someone to watch the kids while you are at the gym. Is there a babysitting service at the gym that you could use? If so, I would look into it for at least a week. See if he takes the opportunity to go if not then I would continue with your time. Because it is your time.

    Yeah, this is pretty much it.
    He's going to knock down any compromise you come up with. I like the gym childcare idea because it solves all your problems. If he won't go for that, you know for sure he's just out to defeat you, not to work with you.

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