funny thing with my BF

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Replies

  • ashnm88
    ashnm88 Posts: 748
    I've seen what you describe that your bf has the bruises and stretch marks, and the person that has the same as you describe has cancer.
  • MeliciousGibson
    MeliciousGibson Posts: 248 Member
    Lure him to bed....

    Bite his neck, scratch his back, chest, arms, etc....and if he asks what you're doing - tell him that his other girlfriend clued you in that you like it rough!

    Oh, and smell his wang. That one ALWAYS works! Check for the lipstick ring, too!
  • jensterx3
    jensterx3 Posts: 21
    He definitely fell off the bed, hit his neck on the dresser, landed on the cat and the cat went all ape **** on him.

    hahahahaha
  • amyy902
    amyy902 Posts: 290 Member
    he took a job at the zoo as a tiger hugger?
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Its his pimp. Your bf is just not bringing in enough cash.

    For the win
  • hopeledbetter17
    hopeledbetter17 Posts: 6
    Did you check your scale?

    LOVE This!!!
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    You should install a spy cam in one of his shirt buttons. Then when he goes sky diving (which I am sure is where he got those scratches and bruises), you can get some awesome sky shots.
  • sixxbaby
    sixxbaby Posts: 543
    As he was grabbing the scale off the top shelf in the linen closet, he slipped and caught the scale in the neck which made him fall onto the peanut butter eating dog explaining the scratches.


    No need for worry, his mother was there.

    I never LITERALLY LOL: but I just did; thanks!!
  • LuckyAng
    LuckyAng Posts: 1,173 Member
    StairsFall2.gif

    FAVE
  • tyoung8
    tyoung8 Posts: 115 Member
    SMELL HIS WANG!!!!!!! :bigsmile:


    This!! omg! This thread is GUT BUSTING!!!
  • _GingerSnap_
    _GingerSnap_ Posts: 339 Member
    I think he is just in training. Thats why the scale is missing but to be sure definately check his phone and texts but I wouldn't worry...unless you find a Nickleback song as his ringtone. Then all bets are off and you need to break up.

    GASP!!! I already know he has Nickelback on his phone!!!!

    But at least you know know what kind of man you're dealing with. An easily bruised only weighing 188lb man who likes Nickleback. Thats a damn shame!
  • torylinnangel
    torylinnangel Posts: 253
    judging by other responses, I can't tell if this is a serious thread, but if it is:
    Bruises can be caused by several different things: leukemia, some medications that interfere with blood clotting can cause excessive bruising, as we age tissues supporting capillaries weaken, making it easier for the to rupture and form a bruise, fights, others...
    As for the scratches...seams like a fight (I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that he is cheating on you) Just ask him if his co-workers are roughing him up a bit. And take him to a doctor to get checked out, you never know if it could be serious
  • llahairdna
    llahairdna Posts: 502 Member
    judging by other responses, I can't tell if this is a serious thread, but if it is:

    Really?
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 349 Member
    Did you check your scale?

    This made me lol. I wasted a half hour of my life I'll never get back reading that thread. :)
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    judging by other responses, I can't tell if this is a serious thread, but if it is:

    Really?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA
  • mfp_junkie
    mfp_junkie Posts: 359
    Her BF has obviously been doing protein shakes shooters in an effort to boost his muscle growth. Pumped up on his new-found protein, blasting through his veins, he has then been hitting the gym hard every day, in an effort to create the perfectly sculpted body for his gf. He fell off the treadmill, was thrown backwards into the Nautilus machine, crashed backwards into the dry sauna and stumbled home.

    That, or he's screwing his personal trainer. Just saying.

    (PS - the scale at my gym is stuck at 188...wtf?)
  • llahairdna
    llahairdna Posts: 502 Member
    Her BF has obviously been doing protein shakes shooters in an effort to boost his muscle growth. Pumped up on his new-found protein, blasting through his veins, he has then been hitting the gym hard every day, in an effort to create the perfectly sculpted body for his gf. He fell off the treadmill, was thrown backwards into the Nautilus machine, crashed backwards into the dry sauna and stumbled home.

    That, or he's screwing his personal trainer. Just saying.

    Maybe both. We don't know.
  • mfp_junkie
    mfp_junkie Posts: 359
    Her BF has obviously been doing protein shakes shooters in an effort to boost his muscle growth. Pumped up on his new-found protein, blasting through his veins, he has then been hitting the gym hard every day, in an effort to create the perfectly sculpted body for his gf. He fell off the treadmill, was thrown backwards into the Nautilus machine, crashed backwards into the dry sauna and stumbled home.

    That, or he's screwing his personal trainer. Just saying.

    Maybe both. We don't know.

    Maybe at the same time??
  • 1andonlykellyd
    1andonlykellyd Posts: 33 Member
    He's cheating on you and having rough sex with another woman
    My thoughts exactly
  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
    Did you check your scale?

    OMG!!!!! Too funny!!
  • JonGrandi88
    JonGrandi88 Posts: 137
    judging by other responses, I can't tell if this is a serious thread, but if it is:
    Bruises can be caused by several different things: leukemia, some medications that interfere with blood clotting can cause excessive bruising, as we age tissues supporting capillaries weaken, making it easier for the to rupture and form a bruise, fights, others...
    As for the scratches...seams like a fight (I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that he is cheating on you) Just ask him if his co-workers are roughing him up a bit. And take him to a doctor to get checked out, you never know if it could be serious


    Ummmmmmmm Yeh? you cant be serious right????? HAHAHAHAHAHA:laugh:
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