Looking for Feminist Friends

abberbabber

Damn... all I wanted was a delicious sandwich... so I guess that's a NO?

I made everyone sandwiches last night. You're late to the party.

And they were delicious!

doorki

This thread makes me sad.

Feminism is not about man hating. It is about gender equality. Of course you get the odd *kitten* hole in feminism, but to say that radical man haters speak for all feminists is like saying that the westboro baptist church speak for all Christians.

I don't know why men are so angry at feminism; it's about them too. To be sexist towards a women is to be sexist towards a man. To say that women should be in the kitchen suggests that men aren't allowed, to say that a woman's only value is their looks is to suggests men are weak and shallow.

Feminism tackles gender violence, it fights rape and domestic abuse, and things like the social acceptance of women slapping men.

Feminism asks that all genders have equal rights in the workplace and home. Feminism means that BOTH genders should have equal pay, equal maternity leave, equal rights to raise a child and have custody.

Feminists want women to have the right to decide for themselves what to do with their own bodies and lives.

Feminism wants objectification of women to stop, the hyper sexualisation of girls and women to stop - things that are also harmful to men as it gives men and especially young boys an unrealistic expectation of women. It also damages relationships, if men are brought up being taught that the way a woman looks is more important than how she acts, and expects her to be an obedient porn star/cook/servant they will never sustain a healthy relationship.

Feminism is about bringing the genders together, not tearing them apart.

Just because you've been brainwashed into thinking that all feminists are lesbian, man hating, dungaree wearing *****es, doesn't mean they are. It means "the system" is doing it's job, and making you think that it is ridiculous.
I want equal rights between men and women - by oppressing women, you oppress men as well. By creating a female social ideal, you trap yourself into your own one.

Don't judge it by it's name and it's stereotypes, feminism is a movement for men and women, because it benefits us both.

Hun, this is YOUR view on feminism...throw a rock into a group of you and you're far more likely to hit an activist who will believe you threw the rock specifically to hit a woman, simply because the less of them there are to oppose you, the easier it will be to continue with your patriarchal, misogynistic agenda.

THAT is the problem.

I like her view on feminism. Makes sense to me.

While I approve of her feminism is for the betterment of everybody argument, I take issue with the full generalization of all men being against it. It kind of defeats the entire message.

mamamudbug

Humanist here, I didn't think women needed segregating into yet another group.

A-freaking-men!!! All this "let's put people into groups" crap just boggles my mind. UGH.

This!

ishallnotwant

Damn... all I wanted was a delicious sandwich... so I guess that's a NO?

I made everyone sandwiches last night. You're late to the party.

And they were delicious!

Why, thank you! :smooched:

foodfight247

This is another Head Desk moment. To me, its quite simple.

I can't believe its turned into such a long thread. Been reading on and off all day.

Personally, as a women I'm happy either being at home being a housewife OR going out to work. I work 6 days a week at the moment but I still look after the house when I get home. If my partner didn't work all hours, then he would do a bit more, but that just our situation & cirumstance. I also believe that men can do the same thing too. Why can't they? There not stupid.

As for the pregnancy thing - if you don't wanna get pregnant use protection / precautions or simply just don't do it.

I once had an ex who was very much "women are for the kitchen, men are for carboretors (can't spell it)" Let's just say that relationship ended fast, as I don't appreciate being dictated to in that manner, regardless of whether I would have been fine with being at home anyway. Ridiculous. Personally I think that what a man can do, a woman can do and vice versa. Yeah, there's some things that men are best at and again same applies to some things that women are best at. Saying that, I guess sometimes, how you were brought up has an influence as well as your personality on such matters as feminism.

Anyhow.....

Everyone has free choice and at the end of the day, what ever makes you happy, go with it. If it doesn't then change it.

jamiem1102

I think many women are afraid to call themselves a "feminist" for fear of being labeled as a castrating, flannel wearing, ax wielding biach. However, feminism is not about women, but more about equal rights and equality for all. True, some women take it to the extreme... but a lot of people take a simple principle and turn it into a war. Just sayin'.

Marla64

Personally, I don't have a feminist bone in my body. I'm a happy, healthy, submissive Christian wife and mother of 9 children.

This is why I don't like religion, its all about control others. There is nothing wrong with helping/caring for your family, that part of life but no one should feel they have to submit to someone else. There's no equality in submission.

There is plenty of equality in submission. Submission can be a beautiful thing. I choose to submit to and respect my husband and he treats me like a queen. Submission has been given a bad name, but it doesn't have to be bad. To clarify my personal beliefs: as for religion, I am a Christian. My Lord and Savior came here as a servant-if my God can serve others, how much more should I be willing and able to? He could have come down powerful, as a King, taken what was rightfully his, etc-but instead he displayed a beautiful, loving, servant's heart. If he was not too good to serve others than I definitely am not. I know that other people don't necessarily have the same views, but those are partially my views on my personal reason for submission. I will admit that I am lucky, my husband is wonderful to me-I know that one of the reasons submission has been given a bad rap is because people take advantage of it and make it look bad. I love serving my family, it is my job and I take pleasure in it. While it is something I enjoy, it may not be for everyone.

I was raised in a family of feminists, always told I "didn't need a man." There were hardly any men in our family, because the women treated the men poorly and chased most of them off. I used to bash men, and insist I could do everything on my own. I ended up being a single mother, raising 5 children alone and thinking men were the bane of my existence. When I realized my own error, and changed my attitude towards males in general, I ended up falling in love with and marrying a wonderful man. I'm so glad I treat him well and don't buy into the male bashing mentality any longer. Some of my women family members give me h*ll for it, but they are the ones alone and angry because they chased their men away-so eager to always prove that they "don't need a man". I'm happily married and living a life I never dreamed would be so good-I never realized having a mate to compliment me and share the load would be such a great joy. Once I stopped fighting my man and started working with him, things became much easier and more pleasant.

Submission has a bad name because of what it is, its submission. Why can't you and your husband just respect and love each other? Why do you have to submit to someone who should be your equal? You don't have to male bash in order to be equal and respectful but you shouldn't have to submit, that's bashing yourself. It looks like you went from extreme to another.

because our Bible calls us to. There can't be two captains of a vessel. Somebody has to have the final say what course the ship goes. God tells me that's him.

I'm happy my husband and I aren't driving a ship! We just discuss things like equal partners.

Really? Good-- and when you disagree, vehemently, and neither side wants to give in....then what?

"Iceberg, straight ahead!" :laugh: Sorry, just kidding. I had this weird Titanic visual go through my head with all the ship references. :laugh:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Exactly!

I say left, he says right-- left! Right! Left! Right! :grumble:

Somebody has to have the final say!:noway:

mamamudbug

Damn... all I wanted was a delicious sandwich... so I guess that's a NO?

I made everyone sandwiches last night. You're late to the party.

She did... I watched her :drinker:

turningstar

Whoa! Captain-$h!tstorm ahead!

crisanderson27

I like her view on feminism. Makes sense to me.

Me too...too bad that we're in the minority.

Pretty sure the OP was just looking for friends who weren't insulting to women or trying to lose weight to be some sort of ideal figure...the rest of this thread just went CRAZY...

Did you read her post?

caseylee62924

I'm in : )

1Kristine1

While I approve of her feminism is for the betterment of everybody argument, I take issue with the full generalization of all men being against it. It kind of defeats the entire message.

Valid point.

Elizabeth_C34

doorki

Personally, I don't have a feminist bone in my body. I'm a happy, healthy, submissive Christian wife and mother of 9 children.

This is why I don't like religion, its all about control others. There is nothing wrong with helping/caring for your family, that part of life but no one should feel they have to submit to someone else. There's no equality in submission.

There is plenty of equality in submission. Submission can be a beautiful thing. I choose to submit to and respect my husband and he treats me like a queen. Submission has been given a bad name, but it doesn't have to be bad. To clarify my personal beliefs: as for religion, I am a Christian. My Lord and Savior came here as a servant-if my God can serve others, how much more should I be willing and able to? He could have come down powerful, as a King, taken what was rightfully his, etc-but instead he displayed a beautiful, loving, servant's heart. If he was not too good to serve others than I definitely am not. I know that other people don't necessarily have the same views, but those are partially my views on my personal reason for submission. I will admit that I am lucky, my husband is wonderful to me-I know that one of the reasons submission has been given a bad rap is because people take advantage of it and make it look bad. I love serving my family, it is my job and I take pleasure in it. While it is something I enjoy, it may not be for everyone.

I was raised in a family of feminists, always told I "didn't need a man." There were hardly any men in our family, because the women treated the men poorly and chased most of them off. I used to bash men, and insist I could do everything on my own. I ended up being a single mother, raising 5 children alone and thinking men were the bane of my existence. When I realized my own error, and changed my attitude towards males in general, I ended up falling in love with and marrying a wonderful man. I'm so glad I treat him well and don't buy into the male bashing mentality any longer. Some of my women family members give me h*ll for it, but they are the ones alone and angry because they chased their men away-so eager to always prove that they "don't need a man". I'm happily married and living a life I never dreamed would be so good-I never realized having a mate to compliment me and share the load would be such a great joy. Once I stopped fighting my man and started working with him, things became much easier and more pleasant.

Submission has a bad name because of what it is, its submission. Why can't you and your husband just respect and love each other? Why do you have to submit to someone who should be your equal? You don't have to male bash in order to be equal and respectful but you shouldn't have to submit, that's bashing yourself. It looks like you went from extreme to another.

because our Bible calls us to. There can't be two captains of a vessel. Somebody has to have the final say what course the ship goes. God tells me that's him.

I'm happy my husband and I aren't driving a ship! We just discuss things like equal partners.

Really? Good-- and when you disagree, vehemently, and neither side wants to give in....then what?

"Iceberg, straight ahead!" :laugh: Sorry, just kidding. I had this weird Titanic visual go through my head with all the ship references. :laugh:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Exactly!

I say left, he says right-- left! Right! Left! Right! :grumble:

Somebody has to have the final say!:noway:

To keep with the sailing motif, going left and then right is the only way to go straight while sailing. Its called tacking, I believe, and is used to keep the wind in the sails. So wouldn't God be saying that it takes a partnership?

iceqieen

To those not wanting to identify as feminist because of the "bad rep", but really living by the core idea of equality:

It is precisely why I strongly identify as a feminist! Because the more of us there are that identify as feminists, but are not anti-men - the more likely feminism has a reasonable voice.

There is allot of things that are much better than when feminism started as an activist group - but not everything is perfect. Saying you don't need to be feminist anymore.. well I guess it's the same as saying you don't need to fight for gay rights in scandinavia since they can get married now?

My grand mother (on father's side) was a strong willed woman, who could be called a feminist for her attitude towards equality. She made damn sure her children were raised knowing how to do all housechores *and* work outside. She encouraged her daughter to seek education just as much as the boys. She also expected my grandfather to help around the house when he couldn't go fishing and didn't have anything else to do (rare, but still occurred). She did NOT identify as a feminist because of the bad reputation, she got offended when I called her that - referring to them by a derogatory word that would only make sense to icelanders. Her reaction made me very pussled but it makes me more determined to not shy away from calling myself a feminist. I don't want the anti-men propaganda to take over completely, I want feminism to be remembered for what it was - fighting for women to have the same rights as men.

Yes you could call it equalism now, and I am happy to identify as that as well.. but I won't stop being a Feminist too. Just like I'll say I'm a viking.. even if I'm not. I'm proud of the past history

crisanderson27

Humanist here, I didn't think women needed segregating into yet another group.

A-freaking-men!!! All this "let's put people into groups" crap just boggles my mind. UGH.

This!

But don't you see? That's part of the patriarchal machine!! If we're not grouped by our differences, how can we point them out so we can get ahead of those in the majority who don't share those differences?!?!

Wait, that didn't make sense...

Or did it?

meerkat70

I'm a feminist, and a friend. :-)

ishallnotwant

Whoa! Captain-$h!tstorm ahead!

Ahead?? Have you looked behind?? :laugh:

1Kristine1

Exactly!

I say left, he says right-- left! Right! Left! Right!

Somebody has to have the final say!

..Or you can take turns compromising. One person doesn't need to be designated as having the final say (male or female)

foodfight247

Humanist here, I didn't think women needed segregating into yet another group.

A-freaking-men!!! All this "let's put people into groups" crap just boggles my mind. UGH.

This!

Yep.....agree. It's a bit daft really....but then society has had such a big role alongside so many different sectors and industries. The 21st Century is just bonkers. Saying that when it comes to things like politics, it just goes way over my head. Maybe I should start and take more interest. or maybe not. I don't know.