Anyone else hate to be called "ma'am"?

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Replies

  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member

    Sizzle Chest.

    Women love to be called that

    Well-played, person of unknown gender. Well-played. :tongue:
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
    I love to be called ma'am! And yes, I call all women that and I do it out of respect.
  • HealthierHappierBrenda
    HealthierHappierBrenda Posts: 221 Member
    Arg, i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one that feels ancient when called Ma'am....i prefer miss or even "Hey" lol but i'm told it is a sign of respect but i don't feel it when i'm called it.....
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I do not like to be called ma'am. I realize that it's intended to be respectful but it makes me feel like I'm middle aged (I'm only 28). I'd rather be called "Ms"

    Any ladies feel the same way?

    YES! HATE IT!
  • thetrishwarp
    thetrishwarp Posts: 838 Member
    I call all women "ms." because then there are no implications involved. In school, all of my female teachers were "Ms. ____", we never referred to anyone as "Mrs.", even.

    I don't like it, because I'm 19, I look early-20s at MOST, and I'd far rather be addressed as "Ms." or "Miss" than "ma'am".

    However, that's definitely a preference, rather than something I'd be offended by. I remember being taken aback as a cashier at 14-15 when mothers would tell their children to "give the lady your money" (teaching them how to pay/get change/whatever) and I'd always think "what lady? me? pshgdhjksdhfdfs I am NOT a lady!"

    ...but I just smile and am polite back. Maybe it's cause I'm Canadian and it's practically illegal to be impolite. ;)


    edit to say: Having worked in service, I had no choice but to call a lot of people ma'am to get their attention to give them their orders (same with sir). It's not like I could be like "Hey Nancy, your fries are ready!" so I'd just stand there like "ma'am. ma'am. MA'AM. HELLO!!!!!???" - LOL.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    What we guys need is an age-neutral term to refer to females without having to go through a formal interview process and file an application to say "good morning".

    I mean, just LOOK at this thread. Look at the range of opinions, and understand that most of the men who will use these titles ARE NOT MIND READERS and cannot possibly know what offends you. And since, if any of us ever actually DO meet in person it will be probably once in our lifetimes, I simply do not have the mental capacity to remember the faces of the hundreds of thousands of people I talk to once to remember a preference that I will probably never have to recall again.

    So, in the name of male humanity, I have a question of female humanity.

    Can y'all please come up with ONE PERSONAL PRONOUN that means "absolute stranger of the feminine persuasion whom I have just met and know nothing about but must for some reason now address in a respectful fashion without making comment on nor expressing interest in their age or marital status because both are irrelevant to the conversation I am about to undertake."

    I thought it was "ma'am" for adults, "miss" for children, with some wiggle room for us older male adults to talk to younger female adults. Obviously according to the majority on this thread, I (and every other guy trying to be polite and respectful to strangers that I know) is wrong in a large number of cases. But I don't have a better alternative.

    Ma'am is still the acceptable pronoun. We do recognize your politeness even if we feel like someone's granny when you say it. :wink:
  • mississippi_queen
    mississippi_queen Posts: 474 Member
    Actually...............NO. Where I'm from I get called ma'am all the time. It's not something that's reserved for old people or anything like that.. It's a sign of respect for a woman just like we call the men sir. So i guess it's just different. :noway:
  • cjfitnessme
    cjfitnessme Posts: 97 Member
    so thats how you spell ti , I tried googling it and couldnt find the correct spelling so I quit using it. oh well I will forget how to spell it again so I just wont use it. mam, mama, man, okay I give up, wont use that word never never.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    I don't mind it. It is a sign of respect no matter the age. I will teach my kids to say it and yes sir. Not enough kids now days have any respect so when someone says it I am impressed.


    This.
  • Lasirenn
    Lasirenn Posts: 50 Member
    I'm a sales associate. At work, I call nearly every woman "ma'am" unless they are clearly my age (22) or younger. Then I will call them "miss." But really calling any one more than 5 years older than me "miss" just seems disrespectful. It would be like someone calling me a little girl.
  • shoegal517
    shoegal517 Posts: 56 Member
    well let's look at pure logic
    the REASON people call you sir or ma'am
    is because they were taught it's respectful

    are they psychic and know you dislike it? no
    so unless you've expressed your dislike to this person
    being offended is a little over the top


    Saying, "I don't like" is different than saying "I'm offended by..."

    I get it...it's polite- people in the South do it as a regular practice but in my neck of the woods, it's not as much of a regular thing. I understand that it's respectful but in certain places, Ma'am= old lady... that's the connotation. The first time I was called Ma'am in my life was about a year ago... so that tells me something.

    I appreciate manners and being respectful, but I can't help how I feel and shouldn't have someone tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way.

    I don't call 18 year old girls I don't know "ma'am" , I'd get a crazy look... maybe some places that's the norm, but not here. It doesn't mean I don't have manners or am disrespectful.
  • MotorCityFemmeFatale
    MotorCityFemmeFatale Posts: 222 Member
    Not offended. I was raised in a military family and expect it, it's how I speak and my children have been taught to speak. Now have one of my children's friends call me by my first name and you will see an immediate change in my demeanor.
  • karylee44
    karylee44 Posts: 892
    doesn't really bother me.. working with kids all day.. i try to teach them to be respectful.. yes ma'am, no sir. im not crazy about kids calling me by my first name.. in or out of school.. just undermines my attority.
  • blissrunner
    blissrunner Posts: 1
    Why do you need a term at all, it's 2012? If you're trying to get someone's attention a simple "excuse me" will do and if you're greeting someone how about just "hello" are "how are you today?" That's how most people address everyone else except for the women they are rudely making age assumptions about?

    Ma'am in my opinion is simply rude it's basically someone addressing someone based on their judgement or assumption of their physical appearance in some way. I'm not a feminist, but I do think it is sexist and rude to call woman ma'am then address a woman who is clearly older then her, behind her in line say...as "miss" because the next woman may be dressed a certain way or to address two friends of the same age differently (one as miss the other as ma'am) which is in such a case another incorrect assumption. The term is rude and outdated and in some circumstances quite insulting.

    This term and it's usage baffles me to no end. I'm in my 30's and some days I'm getting carded and called miss or dear and on other days I'm being ma'am'd like their is no tomorrow and its' usually based on how I'm dressed or how much sleep I've gotten or whether or not my allergies are acting up (aka based on nothing more then how I'm looking that day). It's simply rude. Why should women have to be addressed based on how they look whilst everyone else...not so much. Use common sense and address all women the way you address everyone else (just leave that ma'am crap out).
  • kazzari
    kazzari Posts: 473 Member
    "Ma'am" has nothing to do with age, except it's really not used for children. Why would it make you feel old for people to be polite to you? That doesn't make any sense.

    I believe it does have something to do with age. Ma'am is equivalent to Madame, which I think would at least mean you're old enough to be married. Miss is equivalent to mademoiselle...a younger, unmarried woman, my interpretation anyway. However, I'm not offended by ma'am because I know it is said out of respect. Anyway, I'm way too old to be called miss. I think that would offend me.
    It does not have anything to do with age! It is simply a term of respect.

    It is apparently different in different parts of the country. In Southern California you would never hear a young girl called ma'am by anyone of any age, unless it done playfully. I was a young mom the first time I heard it. It felt weird, but I got used to it. And I agree it is a term of respect.
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
    ah, I like it.. It’s kind of sexy if it comes from a guy with a southern accent or wearing a military uniform!! :flowerforyou:

    I completely agree. Love it!

    Also, unless it was said with a rude tone, I would just take it as a sign of respect.
  • SparkleShine
    SparkleShine Posts: 2,001 Member
    Yep, I feel weird being called ma'am. i guess I should get used to it...I AM OVER 40! HAHA! Someone called me miss the other day and I about hugged them! :bigsmile:
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I don't mind it. It is a sign of respect no matter the age. I will teach my kids to say it and yes sir. Not enough kids now days have any respect so when someone says it I am impressed.

    agreed!
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    Hate it!! Almost as much as I hate being called honey or dear!
  • 152dbs
    152dbs Posts: 116 Member
    hell yes! Im 27 so ya, I feel liek I should just retire and go live in florida being told that

    the retirees go to south FL....all of us southern boys that will call you ma'am live in the northern part.

    its all about how you are raised. if i didnt say "ma'am" or "sir" i wasnt acknowledged. now its automated in my answer.....accept at work.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    I guess it depends on where you are, when I was 9 I remember being called ma'am, it's just a polite thing southerns do. I guess, different strokes for different folks?
  • nightsrainfall
    nightsrainfall Posts: 244 Member
    We are teaching my son to say "sir" and "ma'am" to everyone. It's just respectful, so children saying it to me doesn't bother me. It also doesn't bother me if its a sales person or a waiter.

    However, My husband and I got a much needed date night a few months ago and went to dinner and then to a movie. I was dressed up cute, probably had a glass of wine with dinner.. feeling like when back when we were dating.... then a teenage boy approached me and called me about saving some seats or something and was all about the yes ma'am and no ma'am... and all I could think was "I'm only 10 years older than you, you should not call me ma'am"

    Took the wind right outta my sails.

    And what would you have rather he called you? Regardless of age, it's respect. Respect for a female.

    I've said Ma'am to a 19 y/o (I'm 28) and a 50 y/o, or a 25 y/o.

    Respect knows no age.

    I think that many people have forgotten that Ma'am is a term of respect. At work many people use Sir for other guys so when they speak to me or another woman it goes from Sir to Ma'am.

    I am not from an area or a family where Sir and Ma'am are used so it is still strange for me to hear it. But as I've traveled, I have come to realize that both are terms of respect. And actually, some of the people at work use it as a greeting almost.
  • treetop57
    treetop57 Posts: 1,578 Member
    TOPIC: Anyone else hate to be called "ma'am"?

    Nope. Doesn't bother me a bit.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    yeah. call me miss. ma'am is sooo matronly!
  • trainorgirl
    trainorgirl Posts: 44
    I am okay with it if they are from the south.. I have a Texan friend that calls me ma’am and it sounds very attractive!!! You have to have a southern/texan accent to pull it off. Cause calling ladies ma’am that’s what they do down there.. no accent no ma’am-ing me!!
  • JediMindfck
    JediMindfck Posts: 73 Member
    "Ma'am" might be bad but "Signora" absolutely takes the biscuit! I was on the receiving end of that one when I was in Italy some years ago. Clearly I'm still not over it :grumble:

    Then of course there's always "Sir". Get that on the phone quite a bit, and that kinda sucks too.
  • dictations
    dictations Posts: 199
    It makes me feel so old and crusty.
    I LOVE ''miss'', however.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    I don't mind it at all. It's a sign of respect.

    I used to be carded till I was 32 years old. Now I don't need to bring ID with me!
  • weezer1234
    weezer1234 Posts: 1
    I hate it so much!! I know it is in my head, but it just makes me feel old. Unless I am down south, it bothers the hell out of me. I am 37, I have no problem with getting chronologically older, but I don't feel old per say. I am 5'5, 126lbs, and I feel I look pretty good. I am not trying to be ridiculous and act or look 22, but youthful. So that being said, I have asked people to not say it. I don't get it all the time, but even once and awhile drives me nuts.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    It's very common down here. It took me a few months to get used to it (I'm a total northerner, haha) but now I rather like it. I don't mine miss or ma'am, but prefer darlin'. ;)

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