Anyone else hate to be called "ma'am"?

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  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
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    It's funny how our perspective on this seems to change with age!! Not particularly 'like' it, but understand for the most part!
  • cannonsky
    cannonsky Posts: 850 Member
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    yea it bums me out... even if they are saying it sarcastically
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    I live in the south. I'm confused if I go an entire day without being called "ma'am." At the store, at the gym, at a restaurant, wherever.

    I work for a beverage distributor, so we have a ton of warehouse guys and delivery drivers...I have NEVER had one of them (they are all male) ask me a question without either starting with "Excuse me, ma'am" or ending with "Thank you, ma'am." At work it's more of a hierarchy thing--the men whose positions are equal or superior to mine call me by name, but those who have positions below mine call me "ma'am." The women just call me by name; there are VERY few of us here anyway.

    I never really thought to get bothered by it, I've just always thought it was the polite way to address a woman who is a. your superior/elder or b. someone you don't know...

    ETA: I've taught my son to say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" (and "yes sir" or "no sir") right along with his pleases and thank yous!
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    Yeah, I hate it.

    Then again, I'm a guy, so I think I have a good reason for hating being called "ma'am". ;)

    In all seriousness, tt's a respectful term. Trouble is, everyone wants to be called a DIFFERENT respectful term and no one goes around with "HELLO, PLEASE ADDRESS ME AS" stickers on their shirts. I don't understand the offense at respectful terms. I see a woman who looks over 20 who I don't know, she's "ma'am" until she asks to be addressed differently. That's the way my momma raised me.

    It's like ladies getting offended when I hold the door for them - hey - I do it for guys, too. I'm not trying to belittle you or make some point that you can't open a door or disempower you or anything. I'm just trying to be the nice guy my mother tried so hard to raise. We'll probably never see each other again in our lifetimes, so you don't need to lecture me on sexist roles, OK?

    I'm starting to wonder if it's worth all this effort to try and be polite when so many people are offended by it.
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I hate it
  • Joneses17
    Joneses17 Posts: 135 Member
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    I hate it. I'm only 27. I'll reserve that for when I pass 35. I'm from the north and live in the south so I realize that's what they say down here.
  • courtxoney
    courtxoney Posts: 59 Member
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    yes!
    i'm only 21 and people call me ma'am all the time at work.
    (i don't even look old enough to be 21...) o.O
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    I don't mind as being in customer service for a decade I call every stranger ma'am or sir out of habit, even people who I believe may be younger than me. However, like others have pointed out, I HATE being called "miss". If it was "Miss" followed by my name, that's fine, but just "miss" irks me to no end.
    I hate it. I'm only 27. I'll reserve that for when I pass 35. I'm from the north and live in the south so I realize that's what they say down here.

    ^^^ See, now here's the problem. (with apologies to the two individuals I chose largely at random).

    Two ladies much younger than myself, both of whom are obviously adult-aged, and one wants to be called using a younger title and is offended by an "older"-sounding one, and the other wants the title I was taught to use as a young'un back in the day and would get upset with the "younger" title.

    What's a 40+-year-old guy trying to be nice to a stranger he'll probably interact with once in his entire lifetime supposed to call you? "Ma'am" or "Miss"?

    My bias is to recognize you as an adult (in which case it's "ma'am" rather than risk being condescending by using "miss"). But, then, I've been slapped for holding doors for women (the men don't seem to mind), so that bias is starting to wane.

    Instead of focusing on how much you "hate" a particular form of respect, why not just recognize that it's a respectful form of address and appreciate the gesture for what it is - a perfect stranger trying to be nice the best way they know how?
  • asgard825
    asgard825 Posts: 1,516 Member
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    I have been asked a number of times to refrain from using "Ma'am" -- It is used as a sign of respect tho :)
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,388 Member
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    I have been asked a number of times to refrain from using "Ma'am" -- It is used as a sign of respect tho :)

    Kids these days! They don't get it. ;)
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    I'm in the North and I use it all the time.

    I guess I never thought you ladies hated it so much.
    :ohwell:
  • foster59803
    foster59803 Posts: 439 Member
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    ah, I like it.. It’s kind of sexy if it comes from a guy with a southern accent or wearing a military uniform!! :flowerforyou:
  • asgard825
    asgard825 Posts: 1,516 Member
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    ah, I like it.. It’s kind of sexy if it comes from a guy with a southern accent or wearing a military uniform!! :flowerforyou:

    She gets it... :)
  • amurdaugh2010
    amurdaugh2010 Posts: 39
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    Well I'm not your pal, friend!
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    omg really? it has nothing to do with age. it's a term of respect. get over it and take it for what it means. and btw, no word or phrase can make you feel old.
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    "Ma'am" has nothing to do with age, except it's really not used for children. Why would it make you feel old for people to be polite to you? That doesn't make any sense.

    I believe it does have something to do with age. Ma'am is equivalent to Madame, which I think would at least mean you're old enough to be married. Miss is equivalent to mademoiselle...a younger, unmarried woman, my interpretation anyway. However, I'm not offended by ma'am because I know it is said out of respect. Anyway, I'm way too old to be called miss. I think that would offend me.
    It does not have anything to do with age! It is simply a term of respect.
  • tarynnmichelle
    tarynnmichelle Posts: 27 Member
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    I would be offended if I WASN'T addressed as Ma'am! I am 26 and have been called ma'am since I was a small child and have not once been offended by it. Unless someone addressed me as "Hey Grandma", I would not feel old.. I would feel 26!


    Disclaimer- I live in Texas and we learn as soon as we start talking to say yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir and no sir.(and please and thank you.. often accompanied by ma'am/sir.) We call it " having manners."
  • SamanthaTheSpartan
    SamanthaTheSpartan Posts: 32
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    I love it. I think it's sweet/polite. Then again, I am 19. If I was in my 30s or better, I'm not sure it would be the same story.
  • Mrsfullwood
    Mrsfullwood Posts: 172 Member
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    I was raised by a very strict father who was a Marine. You addressed your elders as Ma'am or Sir or got slapped upside the head. I still do this even though I cringe when younger people call ma'am.

    I grew up in the South and my father was in the Army. It was always Sir and Ma'am.
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
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    I particularly like it when my boys friends call me ma'am, but mostly when they filter their potty mouths when I'm in the room...or when my boys filter their friends mouths when I'm in the room.

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