Really? I can't believe he said that!
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I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful advise, quotes, and hugs. I feel much better. I think this guy is a jerk and I will not give him the time of day anymore. Peace be with you all! :flowerforyou:0
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I was staying out of it until she asked me to say something. Then it was on. HE was accusing her of cheating and we were out at my parents cabin getting her stuff ready for a yard sale and she wanted him to have some proof. So I tx from my phone.
" Then it was on"... Yeah.. that's pretty much the attitude I expected brought such a conversation on.0 -
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This is why he went after you - he felt you were attacking him and butting into his business(as he conceives) when you are trying to help your sister - so he in turn when on the attack with you. But he knew right where to attack - we as women for the most part can be super sensitive about our weight and I am sure your sister has mentioned you trying to lose weight to her BF.
I am sorry that he attacked you like that - he is an ultimate JERK!! Lets hope your sister finds this out and dumps his sorry A&&.
Chin up - we are here for you. Congrats on the weight loss so far. It is something to be proud of.
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Definitely agree with this ^^^^^^
You hurt him, he thought of the biggest thing that would hurt you. And yes, 99.9% of women are sensitive about their weight.0 -
seriously people??
it's not ok to call names, but texting your sis boyfriend and telling him what to do and what not to do is rude and inacceptable!
if he is so disfuntional the she has to leave him or deal with it, but it's not your place to tell them what to do. and if she is requesting it, then sorry but you are disfunctional, both of you...
shame on you for doing that0 -
Same advice for both you and your sister: Put this guy in your rear view mirror. He sounds like a prize.0
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seriously people??
it's not ok to call names, but texting your sis boyfriend and telling him what to do and what not to do is rude and inacceptable!
if he is so disfuntional the she has to leave him or deal with it, but it's not your place to tell them what to do. and if she is requesting it, then sorry but you are disfunctional, both of you...
shame on you for doing that
You really have this all wrong. She asked me to tx him so he would know that she was not out cheating. I told him to stop making her cry from my phone so he would know she was with me. I don't want to be in the middle of anything. He is way to much drama for me. But when you attack me personally, I am not just gonna take it. I am not innocent I said he was a jerk and drama king and maybe an *kitten* but I could of said so much worse. I did what I was asked and got name calling. That is not right at all. But you have your own opinion- thanks for the comment.0 -
You really have this all wrong. She asked me to tx him so he would know that she was not out cheating. I told him to stop making her cry from my phone so he would know she was with me. I don't want to be in the middle of anything. He is way to much drama for me. But when you attack me personally, I am not just gonna take it. I am not innocent I said he was a jerk and drama king and maybe an *kitten* but I could of said so much worse. I did what I was asked and got name calling. That is not right at all. But you have your own opinion- thanks for the comment.
Maybe you should all go on Maury or something.0 -
You really have this all wrong. She asked me to tx him so he would know that she was not out cheating. I told him to stop making her cry from my phone so he would know she was with me. I don't want to be in the middle of anything. He is way to much drama for me. But when you attack me personally, I am not just gonna take it. I am not innocent I said he was a jerk and drama king and maybe an *kitten* but I could of said so much worse. I did what I was asked and got name calling. That is not right at all. But you have your own opinion- thanks for the comment.
Maybe you should all go on Maury or something.
LOL...naw I think I am just gonna stay out it. I want to be there for my younger sis and I was just trying to help but I see now it is not for me to be in middle of their drama even if she asks me again. Thanks to everyone who responded.0 -
When bad things are done or said that upset me I allow myself a day to be mad about it then I let it go. If you dwell on it he is winning and has you feeling exactly how he wants you to. I believe in Karma he will get his don't give it one more thought!0
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P.S. I guess I can say that this person is my sister dysfunctional boyfriend and I was just trying to stick up for her via txing him and telling him to stop making her cry per her request.
Maybe you shouldn't stick your nose into other people's relationships.
What are you in? Highschool?0 -
1. To be honest, your sister should deal with her own relationship. She is the one who chooses to be with him, so it really is not in your place (although I know you want to look out for your sister) to get involved.
2. He is insecure and spiteful from the sounds of things. Those who try to drag us down only try to bring us to where they are in their stage of unhappiness in life.
3. He "wins" everytime you get mad, angry, sad at what he says. I know I will not allow someone to have that much control over me and my life by the words they say - because it is my life and I am in it to "win" it for me - NOT them.
So take care of yourself, embrace those 14 lbs you lost and keep rocking your journey without his negativity.0 -
Oh lord I've put up with people like that. And regardless of what the situation was he had no right to say such things. I remember I reconnected with two friends from junior high a couple of years ago via FB and the guy and girl both tended to be inappropriate and get defensive. And I admit I teased them but I did when we were all 13 and 14. One point they both snapped, blocked me, but not enough and I saw they were saying the reason I was so rude was because I was fat, needed to get on Jenny Craig, and I realized I'd never get laid looking the way I did.
Bringing junk like that into an argument doesn't make you the winner, it makes you the idiot. That aside that guy sounds a bit like a friend's ex that went nutty after a year and a half of their relationship. Granted there was a 12 hour time difference between them (or something of the sorts, he was in Scotland) so he couldn't have much more than words.0 -
sounds like he was lashing out because he felt attacked and you were interfering in his relationship - whether she asked you to or not, he didn't ask. Does that make it right for him to act that way? Of course not, but this isn't the school yard and really adults can say whatever they want - and adults can walk away and ignore what they don't like. Sometimes when someone calls us out on something that is true it zings us more, especially if they do it in a rude way. You've got to grow thick skin with this guy, he will never apologize - and maybe just let your sister vent to you, but it's not your place to tell him how to treat her, she could stand up for herself and make it stop - or leave!0
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1-Wow, he's rude and apparently knows exactly where to hit huh? Stop wasting energy on him if you know what he said isn't true.
2- I would hope your sister knows she shouldn't be dating someone that treats her siblings/family that way. That's a bad reflection on her.
3- He's mad you texted him about something that was apparently between him and your sister. Maybe stay out of it next time if she's a grown woman.0 -
P.S. I guess I can say that this person is my sister dysfunctional boyfriend and I was just trying to stick up for her via txing him and telling him to stop making her cry per her request.
Maybe you shouldn't stick your nose into other people's relationships.
What are you in? Highschool?
Hmmmm....you mean to tell me you would not stick up for a sibling when asked? WOW! As an older sister I feel I should and I do understand what you are saying. I never said anything mean to get that kind of response. If he would of of been standing in front me I would of said that same thing. Thanks for your comment.0 -
You really have this all wrong. She asked me to tx him so he would know that she was not out cheating. I told him to stop making her cry from my phone so he would know she was with me. I don't want to be in the middle of anything. He is way to much drama for me. But when you attack me personally, I am not just gonna take it. I am not innocent I said he was a jerk and drama king and maybe an *kitten* but I could of said so much worse. I did what I was asked and got name calling. That is not right at all. But you have your own opinion- thanks for the comment.
Not being mean, but after the above comments you kinda sound like you had it coming. You can't call someone all those names and think they're going to play nice or by your rules. Why shouldn't he attack you personally? He probably felt attacked personally the minute he answered the phone and realized why you were calling. Fair is fair.0 -
Sounds like someone needs to take a ride on the Karma Bus...nothing good ever happens to people like him. He sounds like a very sad and hateful person. As hard as it may sound, even though he is your sister's boyfriend, cut him out of your world like the tumor that he is and press on. Seriously, when you all are together I would act like he didn't exist. Carry on as if he didn't exist. Mean people like that HATE being ignored. If your sister chooses to keep him around, you tried to help but it on her now. Don't let lowlife like that steal your joy....0
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You really have this all wrong. She asked me to tx him so he would know that she was not out cheating. I told him to stop making her cry from my phone so he would know she was with me. I don't want to be in the middle of anything. He is way to much drama for me. But when you attack me personally, I am not just gonna take it. I am not innocent I said he was a jerk and drama king and maybe an *kitten* but I could of said so much worse. I did what I was asked and got name calling. That is not right at all. But you have your own opinion- thanks for the comment.
Not being mean, but after the above comments you kinda sound like you had it coming. You can't call someone all those names and think they're going to play nice or by your rules. Why shouldn't he attack you personally? He probably felt attacked personally the minute he answered the phone and realized why you were calling. Fair is fair.
I would never call him, I tx, and jeeze I was helping a family member. I didn't even start with my defense (and that is what is was) until he came at me with all his crap. I am not mean at all. I usually walk away. Thanks for your honesty.0 -
God forbid someone stick up for a sibling LOL. My older sister is protective of me as well. Sometimes being a good friend, sister, relative, etc can mean sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. IMO you should not have in this situation, but speaking in general if folks just started minding their own business all the time this world may be a lot worse. That being said, do not speak to him from here on out. As you saw from your conversation with him, negativity breeds negativity. Just be there for your sister when she needs a shoulder to cry on..0
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Sounds like someone needs to take a ride on the Karma Bus...nothing good ever happens to people like him. He sounds like a very sad and hateful person. As hard as it may sound, even though he is your sister's boyfriend, cut him out of your world like the tumor that he is and press on. Seriously, when you all are together I would act like he didn't exist. Carry on as if he didn't exist. Mean people like that HATE being ignored. If your sister chooses to keep him around, you tried to help but it on her now. Don't let lowlife like that steal your joy....
DONE! My sister gave his number, it has been deleted, and I will not tx him again. She is gonna have to deal with him from now on. LOL There is so much more to this story, you guys will never know. Thanks you for advise and have a great day!0 -
God forbid someone stick up for a sibling LOL. My older sister is protective of me as well. Sometimes being a good friend, sister, relative, etc can mean sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. IMO you should not have in this situation, but speaking in general if folks just started minding their own business all the time this world may be a lot worse. That being said, do not speak to him from here on out. As you saw from your conversation with him, negativity breeds negativity. Just be there for your sister when she needs a shoulder to cry on..
Thanks. It's like if I saw a person beating up another person and no one steps up to help, I would be that person hands down!! I think we all need to feel that someone is in our corner fighting for us, especially family.0 -
WOW! What a peice of work! One: anyone who verbally abuses someone is more then likely as worthless as the person they learned this bad mouthing from! (poor childhood) Two: your poor sister! I wish she could clear those tears and see him for the worthless douche he is! Charming is charming, not love! Three: You are a good sister for stepping in and trying to help and unwillingly taking this trash spewing from him. His worth shows by the harsh and unexceptable vulgarness falling from his face. Hopefully you and your sister can grab a broom and sweep the trash out the front door, cause if it is like this as a "boyfriend" then it will be like this as a "husband!" And what women would want that?0
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He wanted proof you guys were at the cabin? Wow !!
If someone is going to cheat, they will cheat nothing a text will solve. But more importantly maybe if this guy wasn't such a *kitten* he wouldn't fear for losing your sister.
Just saying0 -
Don't even give a thought to what he says. It sounds like he's threatened by you. Next time you confront him, you know what to expect. Don't give up standing up for your sister, especially since she's ok with it. She quite possibly puts up with much worse. Good luck!! :flowerforyou:0
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WOW! What a peice of work! One: anyone who verbally abuses someone is more then likely as worthless as the person they learned this bad mouthing from! (poor childhood) Two: your poor sister! I wish she could clear those tears and see him for the worthless douche he is! Charming is charming, not love! Three: You are a good sister for stepping in and trying to help and unwillingly taking this trash spewing from him. His worth shows by the harsh and unexceptable vulgarness falling from his face. Hopefully you and your sister can grab a broom and sweep the trash out the front door, cause if it is like this as a "boyfriend" then it will be like this as a "husband!" And what women would want that?
He is already a distance memory. I have been talking her head off all week about how she deserves much better. I hope I get through to her that this is no way how a person is to be treated. Thank you for understanding. Have a great day.0 -
Don't even give a thought to what he says. It sounds like he's threatened by you. Next time you confront him, you know what to expect. Don't give up standing up for your sister, especially since she's ok with it. She quite possibly puts up with much worse. Good luck!! :flowerforyou:
I can tell that he has called and said worse to her. Why she puts up with it I do not know. Some of what I tx she told me to say. Somehow I caught up in the drama and didn't even realize it. (well not until now) Thank you.0 -
Hopefully the separation from him will help her to see some light on the subject and help her clear her head a little and realize maybe things don't have to be that way. I happen to be separated from one of those sorts of people and just reading your words brings it all back...and it's been 3 years. So glad he's outta my life, but I still think about him every day. It's harder to break away from those sorts of people then you would think. Praying that she gets him out of her and your life. ((hugs)) :flowerforyou:0
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The really awful thing about this is you can talk to your sister until your blue in the face, but she is the one that needs to come to the conclusion herself. When she has had enough she will dump him. The best you can do is just be there for her when that happens - and it probably will happen, maybe not soon, but it will happen and she will wonder why she stayed with the craziness for so long. You are a good sister and a very kind person :flowerforyou:0
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I agree what he said was rude hurtful and mean.... but for your sister to put you up to it was not cool.. and now she has let her choice in a boyfriend effect your self esteem..
I think that people are forgetting.. you did this for your sister.. you did what you thought best to help her... but here is where i see the problem .. your sister made the choice to bring this douche into your life..she had no right to ask you to get into the middle of it knowing how rude he is,
but because your sister has choosen to have him in her life.. dosnt mean you have to have him in yours. I know you have told your sister that she deserves better etc etc... but i think at this point for your mental well being you just have to say to her that if she choices to stay in a toxic and voitile relationship that is up to her.. but you can not be a part of it. as such you dont want to be involved in it. .you dont want to see him and you dont want to hear about him. You are more than willing to contiue being her sister and friend and you love her.. but if she wants to have him as part of her life.. you will not take part in that area of her life..
I think that is the best thing to do before it gets worse and you get hurt more for her choices....
ps.. i think you do need to have a talk with your sister... i would never stand for any one speaking this way about my family.. i would have killed my boyfriend if i were her0 -
Words to live by:
People can call you anything and everything, it's what you reply to, that defines you
:drinker:
Great quote0
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