How would you feel if someone said this...

ginny1214
ginny1214 Posts: 338
edited December 19 in Chit-Chat
Yesterday I was with a study buddy. He told me, "Don't take this the wrong way...you are beautiful, as soon as you lose the rest of your weight you're going to be SO hot! I'm going to look at you and be like damn girl..."
I was like uh thanks hahahha
I guess it's a compliment? I don't know, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, yet motivated me.
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Replies

  • Dtregle
    Dtregle Posts: 12
    he said "DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY!!!!!! so you cant take it the wrong way.
  • garita93
    garita93 Posts: 267 Member
    I would be offended and flattered all at the same time! :noway:
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    I think he meant it as a compliment and as a form of encouragement for you to keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes compliments are hard to say right, lol. He might ask you out too. :bigsmile:
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    It's rude and he is shallow. It's a backhanded compliment (complimenting you while insulting you at the same time). Do not "thank" people for comments like that.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    he said "DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY!!!!!! so you cant take it the wrong way.
    Whenever someone starts out with that statement, you know it's not going to be something nice. Just as when people start out with, "Not to be racist, but", or "Not to be rude, but"......
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    I would take that as a huge compliment. It would totally motivate me.
  • jmilian825
    jmilian825 Posts: 193 Member
    well I get what he was trying to say but I would of been kinda of hurt by the way it was worded too... why could he just say you know all your work is really showing keep it up girl...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Back in high school I was told:

    "If you lost 15lbs, you could be a porn star!"

    :noway:

    Uh thanks... this was by a female friend in my elective class.
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
    Ir dives my absolutely baty when ppl start out a sentence like that. Becuase if you know you are going to be rude, mean than do not say it. He could of told you in a million different ways that you lookhot. But sometimes ppl are lcueless on how to giv ea compliment
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Half truth is much worse than a complete lie.

    You're only telling part of the convo. What was the context? Nobody runs around saying things like this. Did you asked him what he thought of you or some other conversation like that was going on when he said that?
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,249 Member
    It would definitely be a compliment.... He already confirmed from the jump that he thought you were beautiful..
  • Miss_Chievous_wechange
    Miss_Chievous_wechange Posts: 1,230 Member
    He obvisously has no tact whatsoever!
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    It's kinda like when people tell me "You look great, you know, for having a kid."

    If you can't leave it at "You're beautiful" or "You look great" then just don't say anything. Nobody wants to be complimented with conditions.

    I'm sure he wasn't trying to be mean, he honestly probably thought he was giving you a real compliment, but his foot became crammed in his mouth. People should really think before they speak.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Ir dives my absolutely baty when ppl start out a sentence like that. Becuase if you know you are going to be rude, mean than do not say it. He could of told you in a million different ways that you lookhot. But sometimes ppl are lcueless on how to giv ea compliment

    Or start with "No offense but..."

    It's almost like I'm MORE offended when somebody prefaces what they're about to say with "no offense, but..."
  • yogsvr4
    yogsvr4 Posts: 149 Member
    Just reply with your own back handed compliment "when I lose the rest of the weight I'll be a whole magnitude more out of your league"
  • HerroEmma89
    HerroEmma89 Posts: 16 Member
    It's rude and he is shallow. It's a backhanded compliment (complimenting you while insulting you at the same time). Do not "thank" people for comments like that.

    I agree. Also probably woulda hit him with text book ;-)
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    Yesterday I was with a study buddy. He told me, "Don't take this the wrong way...you are beautiful, as soon as you lose the rest of your weight you're going to be SO hot! I'm going to look at you and be like damn girl..."
    I was like uh thanks hahahha
    I guess it's a compliment? I don't know, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, yet motivated me.

    Definitely a backhanded compliment
  • amoffatt
    amoffatt Posts: 674 Member
    From your pictures I think you are a hotty now...
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
    I would have laughed and then say, "you have no chance with me anyway" lol
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
    Yesterday I was with a study buddy. He told me, "Don't take this the wrong way...you are beautiful, as soon as you lose the rest of your weight you're going to be SO hot! I'm going to look at you and be like damn girl..."
    I was like uh thanks hahahha
    I guess it's a compliment? I don't know, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, yet motivated me.

    Unfortunately us guys will blurt out idiotic statements without thinking it out. I would never say what he siad since I walk in the same shoes but I know I've said some pretty stupid things usually gives the other person to question if I had a brain or not....
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    It's rude and he is shallow. It's a backhanded compliment (complimenting you while insulting you at the same time). Do not "thank" people for comments like that.

    ^This. He could have said something else like "wow, you're looking great these days." (and stopped there without making an a$# of himself)
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    WOW. You guys are so sensitive.

    He said: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

    Then he said: WHEN YOU LOSE THE REST OF YOUR WEIGHT, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO HOT

    I don't see anything in there that is a backhanded compliment.

    Both sentances contain great compliments. He is saying she's already beautiful, and when she drops some more weight, she will move from beautiful to hot.

    WOW! What an awesome thing for someone to say.
  • twkelly
    twkelly Posts: 91 Member
    Half truth is much worse than a complete lie.

    You're only telling part of the convo. What was the context? Nobody runs around saying things like this. Did you asked him what he thought of you or some other conversation like that was going on when he said that?

    ^^This^^

    He didn't say... "you're still over-weight but when you lose... you'll be so HOT" he said "you're beautiful..."

    And yes, looking at your pictures you're beautiful and hot ;)
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,014 Member
    While it had NO tact, sounds like a compliment to me. Doesn't sound like there was any piece of insult in there.

    Use it to motivate you and move on :)
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    It is not always comfortable telling someone they are beautiful. Probably took him courage to say it. I believe you got his point and that is a huge compliment.
  • lumina0o0
    lumina0o0 Posts: 498 Member
    Guys just don't know how to word things right.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    My husband says stuff like that sometimes. It doesn't bother. We are both very honest with each other and neither one of us gets offended by comments like that.
  • sarvalfon
    sarvalfon Posts: 53 Member
    While it had NO tact, sounds like a compliment to me. Doesn't sound like there was any piece of insult in there.

    Use it to motivate you and move on :)


    I agree. It sounds tactless, but I think he meant well.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    I learned a long time ago that boys don't know how to speak girl, so sometimes you just have to take the words at what they mean. Don't get me wrong, I would have punched him in the arm and schooled him about proper complimentation, but I wouldn't get mad. After all, he's just a boy
  • Mercenary1914
    Mercenary1914 Posts: 1,087 Member
    From your pictures I think you are a hotty now...

    I agree with this one....

    I also agree with someone who said he has no tact....He must be kind of young or inexperienced with how to deal with women..

    one thing is for certain you have to admire him for keeping it real...

    I have been told that MANY times in highschool...I would get complimented on how cute I was...but I only weighed 130 lbs...so girls would say..if you add some more weight to your boney self..you will be a hottie...

    I took it as motivation...Some of those girls see me now and look tore up from the floor up...I just smile and keep it moving
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