How would you feel if someone said this...

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  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    Compliment and motivation. The men in the world including me think when we say, "don't take this the wrong way" means you will filter out anything negative we say and only hear the good ;)
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
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    It's sort of like when my husband says "Wow, you look great today!" and I respond with "As opposed to looking horrible yesterday?".

    I wouldn't read too much into it honestly.
  • optimumchill
    optimumchill Posts: 26
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    He told you the truth...I think you should feel motivated...the other week I was eating lunch with family and our server noticed my meal had potatoes whereas everyone else had veggies. She told me flat out...I didn't need to eat those mashed potatoes and called out the jack daniels sauce on my chicken...so when I said to her "I'm going to exercise"...she shot back..."You need to" and walked away.

    It was all very playful, but I have not forgotten her honesty and very much appreciated it.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    He's a jerk for wording it the way he did. I hope his foot is in his mouth!
  • JoniBologna
    JoniBologna Posts: 653 Member
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    That was definitely rude. I had a guy I was dating once tell me, "you're pretty but you'd be hot if you lost 30lbs." Needless to say it didn't work out with that one. However, I think of him still. I'd love to see him sometime and be like, "haha look at me now, b!tch". Use it for motivation :happy:
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 617 Member
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    hes an idiot.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Fat people - listen up!! It's okay for people to discuss our fat in a factual way. It's not like ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to magically make us skinny.
    Yeah, I don't think any of us thinks ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to make us magically skinny. However, the comment that "when you lose THE REST of your weight" is just plain rude. So, he thinks she's beautiful now, but not hot because she's got extra weight. That is NOT a compliment.
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
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    Rude!! But, it would totally motivate me.
  • amandavictoria80
    amandavictoria80 Posts: 734 Member
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    WOW. You guys are so sensitive.

    He said: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

    Then he said: WHEN YOU LOSE THE REST OF YOUR WEIGHT, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO HOT

    I don't see anything in there that is a backhanded compliment.

    Both sentances contain great compliments. He is saying she's already beautiful, and when she drops some more weight, she will move from beautiful to hot.

    WOW! What an awesome thing for someone to say.

    I think you're so wrong. And definitely need to look up the definition of a back handed compliment.
    It's just like someone else said on here, it's the same as "you look great, for having a baby". It would have made me feel terrible.
    And I certainly couldn't date someone after they said that to me. So, all this guy would have done is screw up any chance of being with me.
  • jelias1
    jelias1 Posts: 97
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    Just reply with your own back handed compliment "when I lose the rest of the weight I'll be a whole magnitude more out of your league"

    Awesome!
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
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    He should have said something like this:

    "Wow, you are like heart of a volcano hot! If you loose anymore weight, you are going to be like surface of the sun hot. When that happens, all bets are off! :)"

    Or pretty close to that.
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
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    he said "DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY!!!!!! so you cant take it the wrong way.

    No offense, but you're an idiot.


    I seriously lol'd at this and people looked at me funny
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Fat people - listen up!! It's okay for people to discuss our fat in a factual way. It's not like ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to magically make us skinny.
    Yeah, I don't think any of us thinks ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to make us magically skinny. However, the comment that "when you lose THE REST of your weight" is just plain rude. So, he thinks she's beautiful now, but not hot because she's got extra weight. That is NOT a compliment.

    I just totally disagree. Regardless of how awesome I am, and how beautiful I am at my size, I have no misconceptions about the fact that I will be more physically attractive when I have lost more weight. Why is that rude to talk about? Why is it automatically rude for him to compliment her and then mention the fact that she has so much more potential as she reaches her goals??
  • jelias1
    jelias1 Posts: 97
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    You look great right now don't know what he was thinking. Your losing the weight for you, your health and what not, not to increase your level of hotness.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
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    Maybe he should have just said, "When you lose your weight, will you be too hot to still be my friend?"

    Guys aren't always the smartest creatures in the world; but take it as a compliment, because that honestly sounds like what he meant it to be.
  • carcrsh
    carcrsh Posts: 70
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    I heard a guy comment to a friend about me in a similar manner. He said "Once she loses weight I'm going after her." And it just made me dislike that guy a little more. I'm not a prize to go after, one. And two, if he didn't like me at a higher weight why would I like him at all? Plus, I have a boyfriend who supports me and likes me no matter my size.

    I'm sure he meant no harm but he's doesn't sound like he would deserve your affection if he does try to hit on you after you lose some weight. It really just sounds like he stuck his foot in his mouth.
  • Trailblazer35
    Trailblazer35 Posts: 1
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    I don't like it when people give me their opinions like that ...what if you thought he was ugly or needed plastic surgery and made a comment to him about it ? My experience has been when something is followed by...don't take it the wrong way it is followed by something offensive...if you think someone is going to take it the wrong way ..then don't say it .
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I got the comment as well...whatever. :ohwell:
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    It was a compliment. The delivery sucked.

    The dude probably has a crush on you.
  • TiffanyDeanee
    TiffanyDeanee Posts: 158
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    Yesterday I was with a study buddy. He told me, "Don't take this the wrong way...you are beautiful, as soon as you lose the rest of your weight you're going to be SO hot! I'm going to look at you and be like damn girl..."
    I was like uh thanks hahahha
    I guess it's a compliment? I don't know, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, yet motivated me.

    Well I would have taken it as a compliment. Besides, I say the same things to my self anyway. Looking in a mirror, I'd say " Dang Tif, you would be so hot if you lose weight. Your beautiful, but looking healthier and slimmer would put the icing on the cake."

    Yep.

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