How would you feel if someone said this...
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he said "DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY!!!!!! so you cant take it the wrong way.
damm if everything was only that easy haha. I would take it as 100% pure compliment...exactly the way it sounds like it was intended!!0 -
They are right and you will see how differently people treat you (even strangers) when you are closer to a normal weight. You will also find yourself critical of overweight people once you are thin. just remember you were there once yourself too. Just a observation.0
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He should have said something like this:
"Wow, you are like heart of a volcano hot! If you loose anymore weight, you are going to be like surface of the sun hot. When that happens, all bets are off!
"
Or pretty close to that.
That's a better way to say it.0 -
Why the hell can't he think you are hot NOW?
Oh...and for the rest of you defending this guy -
Don't give me this "you people are so sensetive" BS. You guys know what it sounds like and what it doesn't.0 -
If it is some one that you want to have a relationship with, get on the treadmill!0
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Yeah, I don't think any of us thinks ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to make us magically skinny. However, the comment that "when you lose THE REST of your weight" is just plain rude. So, he thinks she's beautiful now, but not hot because she's got extra weight. That is NOT a compliment.Fat people - listen up!! It's okay for people to discuss our fat in a factual way. It's not like ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to magically make us skinny.
I just totally disagree. Regardless of how awesome I am, and how beautiful I am at my size, I have no misconceptions about the fact that I will be more physically attractive when I have lost more weight. Why is that rude to talk about? Why is it automatically rude for him to compliment her and then mention the fact that she has so much more potential as she reaches her goals??
I have to go with Kort on this one. I think I am attractive enough where I am that I don't scare small children, but the potential for so much more is hidden, and that is what I am working on. If someone told me I was beautiful, i would take that as the compliment it was intended to be.0 -
So much more potential????? What the heck does that mean? Basically he told her she is not hot. Beautiful, yes, but not hot. It's rude to say that to someone. Now, if she had said, "Hey, do you think I'm hot"? and he replied with, "I know you're trying to lose weight and you will be once you lose some more", that would be different. There she's asking for his opinion on her weight.I just totally disagree. Regardless of how awesome I am, and how beautiful I am at my size, I have no misconceptions about the fact that I will be more physically attractive when I have lost more weight. Why is that rude to talk about? Why is it automatically rude for him to compliment her and then mention the fact that she has so much more potential as she reaches her goals??0 -
He should have said something like this:
"Wow, you are like heart of a volcano hot! If you loose anymore weight, you are going to be like surface of the sun hot. When that happens, all bets are off!"
Or pretty close to that.
Now *that's* how you compliment a lady! :flowerforyou:0 -
he said "DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY!!!!!! so you cant take it the wrong way.
No offense, but you're an idiot.
I seriously lol'd at this and people looked at me funny
haha sorry this is just funny, and he shouldn't be offended by you calling him an idiot cause you said he shouldn't be??0 -
I agree that being told you are beautiful is an awesome compliment. He did not have to follow-up with what would make her hot.I have to go with Kort on this one. I think I am attractive enough where I am that I don't scare small children, but the potential for so much more is hidden, and that is what I am working on. If someone told me I was beautiful, i would take that as the compliment it was intended to be.0 -
<<Just reply with your own back handed compliment "when I lose the rest of the weight I'll be a whole magnitude more out of your league" >>
^^^ THIS!!!! ^^^0 -
I heard a guy comment to a friend about me in a similar manner. He said "Once she loses weight I'm going after her." And it just made me dislike that guy a little more. I'm not a prize to go after, one. And two, if he didn't like me at a higher weight why would I like him at all? Plus, I have a boyfriend who supports me and likes me no matter my size.
I'm sure he meant no harm but he's doesn't sound like he would deserve your affection if he does try to hit on you after you lose some weight. It really just sounds like he stuck his foot in his mouth.
The only problem with this line of thinking is that while a man may love you no matter what your size, the truth is that being overweight carries with it an increased risk for any number of diseases. I'm pretty sure guys look for a woman who is healthy and who he can spend the rest of his long life with, and overweight women are less likely to be around as long.
They guy did stick his foot in his mouth, but he would be better off instructed how not to do so in the future than completely disregarded.0 -
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've been told, "You'd be so pretty if you were thin." It totally sucks and it's not much of a compliment.0
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Why the hell can't he think you are hot NOW?
Oh...and for the rest of you defending this guy -
Don't give me this "you people are so sensetive" BS. You guys know what it sounds like and what it doesn't.
Because fat, especially excessive fat and the lack of self-confidence that goes with it, *isn't* hot to a lot of guys. He was being honest. Isn't that better than lying, saying she's hot, and giving her less incentive to get healthy.0 -
LMAOJust reply with your own back handed compliment "when I lose the rest of the weight I'll be a whole magnitude more out of your league"0 -
he prob just was nervous, when guys see me now that haven't seen me in 10 years and 35 pounds ago always say "Wow damn your REALLY hot now!" One guy told me he couldn't talk to me in person now because it would be terrible because he would be a nervous wreck and before it was hard enough to talk to me.. I was like ...awww sweet., I think..........0
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I just totally disagree. Regardless of how awesome I am, and how beautiful I am at my size, I have no misconceptions about the fact that I will be more physically attractive when I have lost more weight. Why is that rude to talk about? Why is it automatically rude for him to compliment her and then mention the fact that she has so much more potential as she reaches her goals??
I get what you're saying, but the way it's coming across (and I don't think you mean it this way) it sounds like a self-esteem issue, like you don't *really* deep down believe you are good enough right now.
I do agee it's not rude to talk about, when engaged in that conversation. His 'compliment' sounded like he just blurted it out of nowhere? We are being overly harsh on him if they were talking diets, weight, etc., so that's a great point.0 -
So much more potential????? What the heck does that mean? Basically he told her she is not hot. Beautiful, yes, but not hot. It's rude to say that to someone. Now, if she had said, "Hey, do you think I'm hot"? and he replied with, "I know you're trying to lose weight and you will be once you lose some more", that would be different. There she's asking for his opinion on her weight.I just totally disagree. Regardless of how awesome I am, and how beautiful I am at my size, I have no misconceptions about the fact that I will be more physically attractive when I have lost more weight. Why is that rude to talk about? Why is it automatically rude for him to compliment her and then mention the fact that she has so much more potential as she reaches her goals??
Again, I just disagree. A person can be beautiful but not hot, and that's not a bad thing, and it's not a rude thing to say. In My Humble Opinion.0 -
I just totally disagree. Regardless of how awesome I am, and how beautiful I am at my size, I have no misconceptions about the fact that I will be more physically attractive when I have lost more weight. Why is that rude to talk about? Why is it automatically rude for him to compliment her and then mention the fact that she has so much more potential as she reaches her goals??
I get what you're saying, but the way it's coming across (and I don't think you mean it this way) it sounds like a self-esteem issue, like you don't *really* deep down believe you are good enough right now.
I do agee it's not rude to talk about, when engaged in that conversation. His 'compliment' sounded like he just blurted it out of nowhere? We are being overly harsh on him if they were talking diets, weight, etc., so that's a great point.
I do agree that some of us are being overly critical of this guy when we don't know the context of the comment or the type of friendship these two people have or anything like that. We have one sentence out of a conversation from a stranger on the internet.
Which is why I don't jump to conclusions about what he meant, but rather focus on the fact that I believe the fat acceptance movement has made people a little sensitive about the truth regarding their bodies.0 -
He meant to compliment you. It came out awkwardly. That happens sometimes. If there is a next time tell him "I'm hot now, I always was, and always will be... I just can't help it....." Watch. He will say something along the lines of "True, but you get hotter all the time..." which is more the thought I think he was trying to express.0
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it's something YOU already know.. that's why you are losing the weight.. well that and whatever other reasons you have but lets face it most of us want to lose weight so we can be thin, hot and fab.. LOLOLOL. congrats. you on the hot list. LOL0
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You are overthinking this. He clearly wasn't trying to be hurtful, so why not take it as a compliment?0
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I tend to not be fond of qualified compliments. If you don't find me attractive as is, no need to comment on my looks at all. I will not be "hotter" not wearing my glasses, or wearing jeans instead of dresses, or cutting my hair shorter, in my eyes, so if the person expresses otherwise, I'd respond in a snarky way. I have a bit of an ego so I don't take kindly to comments that tell me I can "be better".0
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Wait a minute... you're not accusing us of judging the intelligence, motives and moral character of someone we don't know based on one reported incident, are you? :noway:I do agree that some of us are being overly critical of this guy when we don't know the context of the comment or the type of friendship these two people have or anything like that. We have one sentence out of a conversation from a stranger on the internet.
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Why the hell can't he think you are hot NOW?
Oh...and for the rest of you defending this guy -
Don't give me this "you people are so sensetive" BS. You guys know what it sounds like and what it doesn't.
Because fat, especially excessive fat and the lack of self-confidence that goes with it, *isn't* hot to a lot of guys. He was being honest. Isn't that better than lying, saying she's hot, and giving her less incentive to get healthy.
MMM...No. There is also not saying anything at all, or delivering a compliment well so that it can be ONLY taken as such.
The way this guy said it - unless he's a best guy friend or your brother -it's not a compliment. It actually detracts from the self confidence that is building after weight loss if one is not yet done losing. The way he said it, he may have as well said: "nice try honey, but not good enough yet.".
A true compliment has well considered delivery.0 -
If it is some one that you want to have a relationship with, get on the treadmill!
1) She is not saying she's interested in him, she's asking if what he said was a compliment or not.
2) If a man doesn't love me at my highest, he sure as hell isn't going to get me when I'm fit/healthy/skinny
3) A woman shouldn't have to 'get on a treadmill' just to pursue a relationship with someone. This is so rude!
To the OP, I think he was trying to compliment you. It sounds like he is aware of your weight loss and probably assumes that you also want to be this smokin hot thing at a certain weight (even more so than you are now). I think he's trying to compliment you now by calling you beautiful as well as motivate you to continue. Granted, I would have been offended right off the bat but would have slowly come to the conclusion that he can't compliment overly well. lol0 -
If it was a BFF, I'd punch him.
If it was a stranger, I'd punch him.
If it was my mother, I'd want to punch her, but refrain.
If it was an acquaintance-type friend, I'd probably punch them too.
I think I just like to punch people. Oops.0 -
Definitely an UN~HARMFUL COMPLIMENT! :flowerforyou:0
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Who was it that said..."Back then, they didn't know me....now I'm hot, they all on me!!" ?
Yeah......he'll regret saying it.
You just make damn sure he see's you.......all hot and cute...with the guy who thought you were a hottie BEFORE you shed the weight!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
If it was a BFF, I'd punch him.
If it was a stranger, I'd punch him.
If it was my mother, I'd want to punch her, but refrain.
If it was an acquaintance-type friend, I'd probably punch them too.
I think I just like to punch people. Oops.
Haha..I like this!!0
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