How would you feel if someone said this...

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Replies

  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    no 25 year old man should think that is a complement and say that to a lady. end of story... if he is really awkward i guess that could be his way of saying he likes you. but if someone really liked you they wouldnt care if you had an extra 20 lbs on your or not. seriously.
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
    Yeah, some people, usually (don't take this the wrong way :wink: ) guys, don't know how to just give a compliment and that's it. They feel like they have to qualify it for some reason, like you are going to come back and hold him to his compliment.
  • Mercenary1914
    Mercenary1914 Posts: 1,087 Member
    While it had NO tact, sounds like a compliment to me. Doesn't sound like there was any piece of insult in there.

    Use it to motivate you and move on :)


    I agree. It sounds tactless, but I think he meant well.


    I agree
  • BrokenButterfly
    BrokenButterfly Posts: 224
    It's a bit of a backhanded compliment. He's not saying that he wouldn't 'tap dat' now, but that your end result is going to be mindblowing if you become more beautiful than you are now.
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
    It's rude and he is shallow. It's a backhanded compliment (complimenting you while insulting you at the same time). Do not "thank" people for comments like that.

    ^^this

    And your response should have been "Well don't take this the wrong way, but I always think you're cute too, until you open your mouth."

    Keep it real, don't pretend it was a compliment.

    Edit- unless he's under 23 and no experience with a woman. I'll give him points for stupidity and not meaning it badly in that case.
  • Latinalicious
    Latinalicious Posts: 21
    Its a backhanded compliment with an insult, seriously... basically telling you right in your face that you were not worth looking at but now WOW!!! Friend he would not be for long if I was in your shoes... As I see in your profile pic you seem to be very attractive, so move on and find some other friends who would compliment you better with more tact and respect...
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
    I dunno, I don't have any illusions about my weight, and I don't want my friends to tell me things that aren't true.

    A friend told me (in an a discussion about my weight/looks) that if I lost a bit of weight I'd be the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen.

    I never took that as an insult, I took it as genuine advice, and kind of a compliment.

    However, the way your friend worded it, and if he just brought it up out of context, that's really rude.

    Plus the, "id be like damn girl" comment would piss me off, he's basically saying you'd only be attractive if you lost weight, not you'd be more attractive if you lost weight, if you not what I mean?
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    WOW. You guys are so sensitive.

    He said: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

    Then he said: WHEN YOU LOSE THE REST OF YOUR WEIGHT, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO HOT

    I don't see anything in there that is a backhanded compliment.

    Both sentances contain great compliments. He is saying she's already beautiful, and when she drops some more weight, she will move from beautiful to hot.

    WOW! What an awesome thing for someone to say.

    THIS. THIS!!!!! He said she was beautiful, and said she would be hot after losing more weight. My fiancee says things like this to me all the time. Nobody needs to beat around the bush about the fact that I'm overweight -- don't pretend like I'm not, because that's just patronizing to me. It's totally okay to compliment me AND talk about the fact that I'm working on better health and a better body.

    Fat people - listen up!! It's okay for people to discuss our fat in a factual way. It's not like ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to magically make us skinny.
  • 17ChargerGirl17
    17ChargerGirl17 Posts: 441
    I'm sorry I think that was quite rude.
    And if he asks you out after you lose weight, I hope you say no.
    You are still the same person just thinner.
  • Smead3369
    Smead3369 Posts: 32
    A few years ago, a male co-worker said to me, "Do you have any idea how hot you would be if you lost weight?" I remember I just stared at him not knowing what to say. He did not say it in a mean way. He had never been unkind to me and after a while, I chalked it up as a compliment and that most guys don't have great tact.

    All these years later, I have NEVER forgotten what he said and now I am using it as motivation. I would bet your study buddy meant what he said in the most genuine of ways and thought he was paying you a huge compliment. Its up to YOU how you choose to react to what he said. :D I say embrace it and let it motivate you !!!
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    Compliment and motivation. The men in the world including me think when we say, "don't take this the wrong way" means you will filter out anything negative we say and only hear the good ;)
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
    It's sort of like when my husband says "Wow, you look great today!" and I respond with "As opposed to looking horrible yesterday?".

    I wouldn't read too much into it honestly.
  • optimumchill
    optimumchill Posts: 26
    He told you the truth...I think you should feel motivated...the other week I was eating lunch with family and our server noticed my meal had potatoes whereas everyone else had veggies. She told me flat out...I didn't need to eat those mashed potatoes and called out the jack daniels sauce on my chicken...so when I said to her "I'm going to exercise"...she shot back..."You need to" and walked away.

    It was all very playful, but I have not forgotten her honesty and very much appreciated it.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    He's a jerk for wording it the way he did. I hope his foot is in his mouth!
  • JoniBologna
    JoniBologna Posts: 653 Member
    That was definitely rude. I had a guy I was dating once tell me, "you're pretty but you'd be hot if you lost 30lbs." Needless to say it didn't work out with that one. However, I think of him still. I'd love to see him sometime and be like, "haha look at me now, b!tch". Use it for motivation :happy:
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 616 Member
    hes an idiot.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Fat people - listen up!! It's okay for people to discuss our fat in a factual way. It's not like ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to magically make us skinny.
    Yeah, I don't think any of us thinks ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to make us magically skinny. However, the comment that "when you lose THE REST of your weight" is just plain rude. So, he thinks she's beautiful now, but not hot because she's got extra weight. That is NOT a compliment.
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
    Rude!! But, it would totally motivate me.
  • amandavictoria80
    amandavictoria80 Posts: 734 Member
    WOW. You guys are so sensitive.

    He said: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

    Then he said: WHEN YOU LOSE THE REST OF YOUR WEIGHT, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO HOT

    I don't see anything in there that is a backhanded compliment.

    Both sentances contain great compliments. He is saying she's already beautiful, and when she drops some more weight, she will move from beautiful to hot.

    WOW! What an awesome thing for someone to say.

    I think you're so wrong. And definitely need to look up the definition of a back handed compliment.
    It's just like someone else said on here, it's the same as "you look great, for having a baby". It would have made me feel terrible.
    And I certainly couldn't date someone after they said that to me. So, all this guy would have done is screw up any chance of being with me.
  • jelias1
    jelias1 Posts: 97
    Just reply with your own back handed compliment "when I lose the rest of the weight I'll be a whole magnitude more out of your league"

    Awesome!
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
    He should have said something like this:

    "Wow, you are like heart of a volcano hot! If you loose anymore weight, you are going to be like surface of the sun hot. When that happens, all bets are off! :)"

    Or pretty close to that.
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
    he said "DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY!!!!!! so you cant take it the wrong way.

    No offense, but you're an idiot.


    I seriously lol'd at this and people looked at me funny
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Fat people - listen up!! It's okay for people to discuss our fat in a factual way. It's not like ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to magically make us skinny.
    Yeah, I don't think any of us thinks ignoring the fact that we need to lose weight is going to make us magically skinny. However, the comment that "when you lose THE REST of your weight" is just plain rude. So, he thinks she's beautiful now, but not hot because she's got extra weight. That is NOT a compliment.

    I just totally disagree. Regardless of how awesome I am, and how beautiful I am at my size, I have no misconceptions about the fact that I will be more physically attractive when I have lost more weight. Why is that rude to talk about? Why is it automatically rude for him to compliment her and then mention the fact that she has so much more potential as she reaches her goals??
  • jelias1
    jelias1 Posts: 97
    You look great right now don't know what he was thinking. Your losing the weight for you, your health and what not, not to increase your level of hotness.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    Maybe he should have just said, "When you lose your weight, will you be too hot to still be my friend?"

    Guys aren't always the smartest creatures in the world; but take it as a compliment, because that honestly sounds like what he meant it to be.
  • carcrsh
    carcrsh Posts: 70
    I heard a guy comment to a friend about me in a similar manner. He said "Once she loses weight I'm going after her." And it just made me dislike that guy a little more. I'm not a prize to go after, one. And two, if he didn't like me at a higher weight why would I like him at all? Plus, I have a boyfriend who supports me and likes me no matter my size.

    I'm sure he meant no harm but he's doesn't sound like he would deserve your affection if he does try to hit on you after you lose some weight. It really just sounds like he stuck his foot in his mouth.
  • Trailblazer35
    Trailblazer35 Posts: 1
    I don't like it when people give me their opinions like that ...what if you thought he was ugly or needed plastic surgery and made a comment to him about it ? My experience has been when something is followed by...don't take it the wrong way it is followed by something offensive...if you think someone is going to take it the wrong way ..then don't say it .
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,226 Member
    I got the comment as well...whatever. :ohwell:
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,014 Member
    It was a compliment. The delivery sucked.

    The dude probably has a crush on you.
  • TiffanyDeanee
    TiffanyDeanee Posts: 158
    Yesterday I was with a study buddy. He told me, "Don't take this the wrong way...you are beautiful, as soon as you lose the rest of your weight you're going to be SO hot! I'm going to look at you and be like damn girl..."
    I was like uh thanks hahahha
    I guess it's a compliment? I don't know, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, yet motivated me.

    Well I would have taken it as a compliment. Besides, I say the same things to my self anyway. Looking in a mirror, I'd say " Dang Tif, you would be so hot if you lose weight. Your beautiful, but looking healthier and slimmer would put the icing on the cake."

    Yep.
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