relationship question

Options
245

Replies

  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    Wow. Well thank goodness YOU obviously don't have any personal issues.
  • Jay0hwhy
    Jay0hwhy Posts: 63
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    troll
  • CallieM15
    CallieM15 Posts: 910 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here


    Thats why he posted under chit chat fun and games.
  • AmyM713
    AmyM713 Posts: 594 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    Actually personal problems can lead to stress which can hinder weight loss so I disagree with you! :flowerforyou:
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here


    Awwww :) You're cute. Wanna go out sometime?

    I call dibs! Clearly a keeper :flowerforyou:
  • MrsHutcho9988
    MrsHutcho9988 Posts: 99
    Options
    My husband and I are long distance and I have a lot of guy friends. If the "friend" is a guy I would be worried because although I am not the cheating type...my guy friends have all made it perfectly clear that they would hook up, they do flirt with me, I always shut them down, but they are guys at the end of the day. Im not saying men and women cant be friends, because I do have great friendly relationships with my guys, but I know that if I came to them and even hinted that I wanted them, they would try something.

    It sounds like your relationship is fragile, and Its great that you two are seeing a counselor and want to work on it. I would definitely bring it up with the counselor and voice your opinion. If you are going to get back together you have to be honest with your feelings. I wouldn't just call her up and say point blank to stop hanging out with the friend, do it in a safe place where you can freely talk about it.

    If the friend is a single girl, I wouldn't worry at all. Yes, single girls go out, get hit on, drink too much and party, but your wife has a relationship and that's with you. She is probably going out to let her hair down, to de stress and to laugh...not to hook up with a stranger, etc...

    Trust is the most important thing. I hope you can work it out!
  • amandab1669
    amandab1669 Posts: 86 Member
    Options
    If your wife is serious about saving your relationship she shouldn't mind if you asked her to put that relationship on hold. At least until you get your relationship straightened out. If she really cares about you and your relationship this should not be an issue. The only thing is she may not be willing to give up this relationship so you have to be ready to hear that and decide how your are going to respond. She may be getting something she needs right now that she feels she is not getting from you. Try to find out what kind of relationship they really have. If you are uncomfortable with it all you can do is communicate it with her. If she just doesn't care then that says a lot about your relationship. I hope it works out and wish you the best
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    Options
    i don't know how her hanging out with someone and being friends with them would get in the way of you working on your marriage unless you are threatened by them.

    is this friend a good looking man who is interested in her? if so, then yes, you have grounds for complaint.

    however, if not, i don't see what's wrong with her having friends and it sounds a little controlling to take issue with her talking to friends. even in a marriage, there should be room for friends.

    Great responce, I was going to say much the same.

    I say let them meet up and catch up. It is possible for a male and female to be "just friends" (I know from experiance). The worst thing you can do is ask her not to see her friend. It implies that there is trust issues going on. You can voice your uneasiness of the situation, but it must be in a way that is not threatening to her.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    Options
    Without getting into details I have a dilemma that I need advise for. My wife and I have been married for 11 years and are having some "issues". We currently are separated as well as seeing a marriage counselor. Needless to say there is some stress and things are not going very well. When we do talk it usually ends up in some sort of a argument.

    Now she has this "friend" who she has know since she was in high school. However this person moved around and was not part of her life for the majority of our marriage. In the last 6 months this person started to come back in to her life. I do not have a problem with her being friends with this person however I really think it would help our working on our marriage if she would not see said person while we do this? Is this wrong of me? What would you do? Or am I over reacting? I feel like we both want to work on and save our marriage but I personally feel like it would be helpful if for the time being this person was not a distraction. If they are that close of a friend they would be willing to wait to continue their friendship?

    Given the fact that you two are struggling but trying to reconcile I would say this is one instance where you are allowed to say "Honey, can we focus on us right now without the involvement of others?"

    She's not going to listen. But you can say it at least. Bad news is we all know what you're worried about, and cynical me thinks you probably have a good reason to be worried. I know that's the last thing you want to hear. Sorry for that. Just don't let jealousy make you less of a man. Women hate that. Be the man she fell in love with. Be confident, be bold. Try to remember all the things she loved when you met.

    It may not work, but at least you'll have given it a shot. Best of luck to you.
  • Psychoanalytic
    Psychoanalytic Posts: 261
    Options
    I can't believe I'm actually about to be constructive about this topic.

    It depends on your relationship and how it functions. No one can analyze that but you and her. Some rhetorical questions: Why does it make you uncomfortable? Has she given you reason not to trust her? Is she saying one thing and doing another? (I guess that would be a reason.) And most importantly, would you be uncomfortable with it if you two weren't having problems?

    Personally, I don't see it as a big deal.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Options
    Ok back to the subject at hand......

    If it's a guy from the past that has suddenly surfaced and wants to rekindle a friendship - I'd say that's a red flag!!!! And since you guys are already in counseling by all means bring it up.

    If it's a female friend - I can't see how this would hurt a reconciliation UNLESS this female friend is a negative influence in your wifes life? Is she asking her to go out and party all hours of the night and encouraging her to abandon her marriage then YES you may want to bring that up in counseling too.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    I think you need to leave the issue alone. Your jealousy over this friendship is not going to help you save your marriage. When you are on better terms with your wife, then you can discuss how this friendship makes you feel.
  • Psychoanalytic
    Psychoanalytic Posts: 261
    Options
    Just don't let jealousy make you less of a man. Women hate that. Be the man she fell in love with. Be confident, be bold. Try to remember all the things she loved when you met.

    It may not work, but at least you'll have given it a shot. Best of luck to you.

    This.
  • rocsings
    rocsings Posts: 13
    Options
    WOW ... this is a hard one because you are asking complete strangers to make comments about your 11 year marriage with really little to know information. So let me start by typing this to you. The same way you feel that "friend" she has may not be healthy for the healing and mending of your relationship, reaching out to complete strangers that have no feelings, some no sympathy, others that may care to share, some that could careless at all is NOT a good idea. The wonderful thing about marriage is the ability to fall in love again with the same person. Stop worrying about what's on the outside (the friends) and focus on the woman you married, the counseling sessions and healing and finding the love that made you both say "yes" ...

    I know that some of us on this site have eating issues because of emotional wounds, so yes, this is the place to share whatever is going to make you healthier in the long run. But when it comes to your wife, seriously, you need to continue down the path of professional help and forget about the rest. Let go of the stuff that doesn't matter and focus on the stuff that does!! Only my opinion!! Nothing more ... Nothing less, I wish you and your wife well.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
    Options
    Without getting into details I have a dilemma that I need advise for. My wife and I have been married for 11 years and are having some "issues". We currently are separated as well as seeing a marriage counselor. Needless to say there is some stress and things are not going very well. When we do talk it usually ends up in some sort of a argument.

    Now she has this "friend" who she has know since she was in high school. However this person moved around and was not part of her life for the majority of our marriage. In the last 6 months this person started to come back in to her life. I do not have a problem with her being friends with this person however I really think it would help our working on our marriage if she would not see said person while we do this? Is this wrong of me? What would you do? Or am I over reacting? I feel like we both want to work on and save our marriage but I personally feel like it would be helpful if for the time being this person was not a distraction. If they are that close of a friend they would be willing to wait to continue their friendship?

    Given the fact that you two are struggling but trying to reconcile I would say this is one instance where you are allowed to say "Honey, can we focus on us right now without the involvement of others?"

    She's not going to listen. But you can say it at least. Bad news is we all know what you're worried about, and cynical me thinks you probably have a good reason to be worried. I know that's the last thing you want to hear. Sorry for that. Just don't let jealousy make you less of a man. Women hate that. Be the man she fell in love with. Be confident, be bold. Try to remember all the things she loved when you met.

    It may not work, but at least you'll have given it a shot. Best of luck to you.


    perfect answer...
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    Options
    Given the fact that you two are struggling but trying to reconcile I would say this is one instance where you are allowed to say "Honey, can we focus on us right now without the involvement of others?"

    She's not going to listen. But you can say it at least. Bad news is we all know what you're worried about, and cynical me thinks you probably have a good reason to be worried. I know that's the last thing you want to hear. Sorry for that. Just don't let jealousy make you less of a man. Women hate that. Be the man she fell in love with. Be confident, be bold. Try to remember all the things she loved when you met.

    It may not work, but at least you'll have given it a shot. Best of luck to you.

    Yes to all of this.
  • Tristis
    Tristis Posts: 288 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    Wrong, honey - this is NOT a "dieting" site...it is a FITNESS site. Being fit doesn't have to refer only to your body. You need a fit mind as well. If you're in emotional turmoil, your mind can not be fit.

    As for the original post - it's really hard to say. It's a touchy sitation to be in especially since you are separated. You don't really feel like you can demand they not be friends, but you feel their friendship is detrimental to the healing of the relationship with your wife. I was in a similar situation...I decided to let go and have never been happier. Good luck!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    Just don't let jealousy make you less of a man. Women hate that.

    Explain this one to me, love.... A little jealousy isn't always bad. Just as a random example, I'd prefer if my guy got a teensy bit upset if someone else was sending me flowers and pursuing me. If he doesn't care AT ALL, then... well, it just doesn't seem like he cares about me *LOL*

    Or maybe that's my crazy talking... I should really take my meds.
  • erosales0117
    erosales0117 Posts: 21
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    WOW!! This ste is for encouragement and respect and you clearly don't care about others on here! We are all here to help each other out with any advice! You should stay quite if you are not going to be supportive or find another site to join where you can just focus on yourself!
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here
    Arent you a peach!

Categories