relationship question

Options
124

Replies

  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Options
    My personal opinion is that no married person should have close single friends of the opposite sex unless they're friends with both the marrieds and there is a mutual trust and history there. To protect my marriage, I don't invest in friendships with single men... what would doing so convey to my husband? I value him more than anyone else on this planet. If you don't value your spouse more than anyone else alive, you are doing them a disservice. You can call me square, but as I said before, it's just my opinion.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    Options
    It seems like you are serious about trying to fix this marriage and this guy friend is getting in the way but it's her friend and I doubt she will end it if you 2 argue when you see eachother. I am sorry this is happening to you and I hope it gets better with or without her.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    Options
    My personal opinion is that no married person should have close single friends of the opposite sex unless they're friends with both the marrieds and there is a mutual trust and history there. To protect my marriage, I don't invest in friendships with single men... what would doing so convey to my husband? I value him more than anyone else on this planet. If you don't value your spouse more than anyone else alive, you are doing them a disservice. You can call me square, but as I said before, it's just my opinion.

    ^^^AGREED!!!!!
  • StaceyL76
    StaceyL76 Posts: 711 Member
    Options
    My personal opinion is that no married person should have close single friends of the opposite sex unless they're friends with both the marrieds and there is a mutual trust and history there. To protect my marriage, I don't invest in friendships with single men... what would doing so convey to my husband? I value him more than anyone else on this planet. If you don't value your spouse more than anyone else alive, you are doing them a disservice. You can call me square, but as I said before, it's just my opinion.

    I agree with this.
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    Options
    I travel a LOT for work. I'm also an engineer, so every single one of my colleagues are men. I socialize with these men and travel with them all the time. Yes, women and men can be friends with no sexual undertones, thank G-d.
    Otherwise, I would be very lonely and bored most of the time.

    'I have an ex who used to have a problem with me socializing with men on work trips. Key word = EX.
    Jealousy was the reason for the split-up.

    If he is a childhood friend, I would say its probably nothing to worry about. The only thing that is a red flag to me is that she is trying to hide his involvement, unless you are being a jealous jerk and making her feel like she has to hide it from you...
  • jmilian825
    jmilian825 Posts: 193 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here
    exactly dieting site which this Relationship problem could lead to an emotional eating problem then turning into a dieting problem which is the reason most of us are here to being with....
    he just needs some support so he doesn't go into a downward spiral!!!
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    That's pretty rude, this is in chit-chat, fun and games, not in any of the diet forums.

    Back to the poster. Is this friendship causing some issues, like is it a girl that's single that wants her to go out and do dancing all the time, or is this an old flame that is giving her attention that she should be getting from you?
  • Louise1247
    Louise1247 Posts: 670 Member
    Options
    If i were having issues with a guy, having a friend would make it worse for me in a sense as they can manipulate what I may think of the guy. I am an easily influenced person sometimes though- so depends on the person!
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    Options
    i don't know how her hanging out with someone and being friends with them would get in the way of you working on your marriage unless you are threatened by them.

    is this friend a good looking man who is interested in her? if so, then yes, you have grounds for complaint.

    however, if not, i don't see what's wrong with her having friends and it sounds a little controlling to take issue with her talking to friends. even in a marriage, there should be room for friends.

    Oh ye of little age and little wisdom and experience...LOL, cute try though.
  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    That is not true. I don't understand how people can be so cold towards people who are reaching out. It is really sad.

    I have a question for you.. Why were you nosey enough to click on the thread if you weren't interested in a relationship question. Was it just so you can snark at somebody. Do you feel better about yourself now - Ooo so powerful?? RUDE.

    I sooooo agree. Also one little thing I thought of to add. Attention W***E. Since most people said something about your rude, snotty, stupid comment.
  • blittle2
    blittle2 Posts: 94 Member
    Options
    I'm going through a similar situation so i'm going to assume that this long lost friend is male. Although you can't control who she is friends with but the timing is suspect and it could cause problems in your marriage as you try to work on things.

    It's a tough fence to walk along especially when you are having marital problems but I've found out having a friend of the opposite sex can make things messier even if it is just a friendship and nothing more.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    Options
    Sorry but this is a dieting site. Personal problems (relationship problems) really don't have any place here

    I so need to have her as my BFF...so fun and perky!
  • LBash03
    LBash03 Posts: 72
    Options
    My personal opinion is that no married person should have close single friends of the opposite sex unless they're friends with both the marrieds and there is a mutual trust and history there. To protect my marriage, I don't invest in friendships with single men... what would doing so convey to my husband? I value him more than anyone else on this planet. If you don't value your spouse more than anyone else alive, you are doing them a disservice. You can call me square, but as I said before, it's just my opinion.

    I agree with this.

    I agree with this also.
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
    Options
    Uhhh I do not agree.
    Going through what he is going through is hard, stressful and emotional and the fact that many people eat more when they are upset tells me this has just as much right to be put in here as anything else. I have been reading personal threats for the few days I have been here so why not this.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    Options
    Having gone thru a similar situation in the past...I think the best advise I can give you is go with your gut instinct...it will rarely lead you astray! I think her wanting to hang out with this long lost friend is a little suspect at the least and in very poor taste if you are both trying to work on the marriage... just my 2 cents!
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
    Options
    Aww....my heart goes out to you. sadly though, after i saw your second post in the forum, it sounds bleak. you should probably count your losses sweetie. sounds like she may already be moving in another direction. however, if you ask her not to see him, you will probably get your answer either way.
  • jennyrebekka
    jennyrebekka Posts: 626 Member
    Options
    Chris Rock said it best. A girl in a relationship or marriage does not have male friends. Every one of her male friends, including the guy in question, is a "(slang term for male body part) under glass. In case of emergency, she's gonna break that glass."

    haha.......so true......gotta love Chris Rock.....tells it like it is....AND makes us laugh about it!

    as for poster - - if it was me i would bring it up in counseling and see what the therapist has to say about it.....?
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
    Options
    Sansey no one can tell you what is best for you or your wife.
    How close are they? do they meet every day? do they talk on the phone all the time? are they sharing personal information? did they stay in touch in any way while this friend was away?
    I have been in your in a simular position. My ex cheated with my so called friend (they worked together) and used the company he was a part owner in to cover his disgusting behavior. I know how stressful and hard this is, this is a real rollercoaster. Get as much support from your family, friends or someone who has been in your position.
    If both of you want to save your relationship then I think you should bring this up next time you go to your marrage therapy, that is the best place and way to uncover this and get this out of the way.
    I wish you all the best
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
    Options
    No need for meds....I agree.
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
    Options
    True, I couldn´t be with someone who is jeolous all the time, but to show once in a while that you are shows you care and that you wouldn´t want to lose that person.
    :)

Categories