Closed Diary's

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Replies

  • small_ninja
    small_ninja Posts: 365 Member
    Wow, I didn't realise how touchy a subject this is till I read all these comments...
  • Angellore
    Angellore Posts: 519 Member
    I have mine open to friends only because I don't want or need some random person on the forums giving me advice on my food because I am losing weight and generally within my macros, so it's no-one elses business what I eat. I had one 'friend' who I had to delete because she was constantly calling me out on my food choices. One day I was 50 calories over at the end of the day (but well under on fat) and she posted "Did you NEED that second chicken burger?" That was kind of the last straw for me. I'm an adult and if I want two chicken burgers I'll bloody well have them!
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.

    It's kind of like saying: "even though we are married we don't need to have sex because holding hands should be enough." :wink:
    No, it's really nothing like that, at all. There are many more important things I can do on this site than play food police for my friends. If you "need" to see my diary on pain of defriending me, than I wouldn't want you as a friend anyway, because I don't deal well with obsessive control freaks. I have never once even glanced at any of my friends' diaries, unless they specifically ask me. It's their job to keep themselves on track, not mine. My job is to give advice when they ask, and be social.
  • mommanurse33
    mommanurse33 Posts: 189 Member
    I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.

    It's kind of like saying: "even though we are married we don't need to have sex because holding hands should be enough." :wink:

    Um. No it's not.

    I don't need anyone to be accountable for me, I'm adult enough to do that myself.

    Also, your opinion of what is a 'good' diary day might differ from mine.

    I have friends who choose not to have their diaries open, that's up to them and I find other ways of showing support.

    Did we really compare an open diary to having sex with our spouses? Really? I don't tell my husband every little detail of my life and I certainly don't expect him to. We do have a bit of an "honor code," if you will. We are supportive of each other no matter what and we hold each other accountable, but we are also adult enough to be accountable for ourselves as well. Nor does what we do when we aren't around each other depend on whether or not the bedroom door will be closed for the night. :smooched: (We have kids. LOL) Hence, if someone doesn't want to show their diary to the freaking world, well then, leave them be.
    There are definitely ways we can be supportive without seeing the diaries of others.:heart:
  • abencase
    abencase Posts: 34 Member
    This has been the first time I feel differently about what I am doing and I enjoy the support/ encouragement/ accountability. It doesn't bother me if someone has a closed diary or not. I do look at the diaries that are open. I don't look to be nosy or to rub someone's face in an extra hundred calories or more, but to get ideas on food choices. Just the other day I looked at a diary and saw X (whatever it was) and how many calories it had. I had written that particular food off on an assumption of its nutritional value. In saying that, I do completely understand why some people choose to keep it private. I just want to let y'all know that not everyone that looks wants to be your MFP "momma". :wink:
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    My diary keeps me accountable, not other people. I dont even close it at the end of the day because I dont want people commenting on it. It's a personal choice to have it public, not an obligation.
  • Witchmoo
    Witchmoo Posts: 261 Member
    Because some people don't want the support aspect of the site, they just want the tools.

    This! I don't have friends or my diary open, tried it and got sick of being supportive to others for nall all in return so now I use it for me as a means of controlling my calories and that's it....I don't need the support as I'm fine on my own so why should I share my diary with randoms?

    And trust me if mine is under my calorie goal it's only just!
  • xRagster
    xRagster Posts: 27
    I eat about 1200 / day and burn at least 2500 a day. I couldn't begin to imagine all the people complaining lol. But I've lost 31 pounds, body fat from 32.7 to 25.9. That's 24 pounds of fat. Now if I made my diary open people would complain that I'm barely eating, doing more harm etc. So I, and maybe people like me, would keep it closed since what we do works even though others won't like it.
  • jinxstrange
    jinxstrange Posts: 5
    I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.

    It's kind of like saying: "even though we are married we don't need to have sex because holding hands should be enough." :wink:

    It's more like saying: "I don't know you or what you know about anything, and your opinion isn't nearly as important to me as you think it should be. And that you compare food diary sharing with marriage intimacy is really kind of creepy."

    :bigsmile:
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    Open, closed, published in hardback format and available through all good bookstores? Who cares?

    It's closed because it's mine and I can close it if I want. If anybody on my FL threatened to "unfriend" me because my diary is closed I would say "hit the road Jack and don't let the door hit you on the way out!".
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,262 Member
    OP - why find it frustrating, how does it effect you exactly?

    There could be many reasons. When I first joined Mfp I didn't know that the diary wasn't open or that anyone would want to look at it/. I also never used to religously keep it up to date.

    Not everybody is able to wholeheartedly embrace a changed lifestyle, so perhaps they may be embarrased about the unhealthy food they're still eating, perhaps not logging it all, or logging for their own information. That's their choice and nothing to do with any other Mfp user, friend or not.

    Concentrate on your own diary items, support friends with open diaries, and support those that have chosen to keep their diary private for whatever reason - don't ask them why not unless you think they may not know it can be made public.
  • Lesley2901
    Lesley2901 Posts: 372 Member
    I can understand the reasons behind people keeping their food diaries closed. Mine is open because I'm happy with what I eat and I will not be affected by any negative comments.
  • swimmchick87
    swimmchick87 Posts: 458 Member
    Mine is closed for several reasons.

    - I feel that if it was open, I wouldn't be totally honest on a really bad day. I had really bad days both today and yesterday. I logged everything so that I could keep myself accountable and be able to look back at whatever time and realize why I didn't lose this week. If I knew people were seeing it, I probably wouldn't have put everything on there.
    -I make diet choices based on what works in my life. Not everyone is the same. I don't always stay within my macros and I don't always make the healthiest choices, but for me it is about making small, sustainable choices at a time. I don't want to be feeling good about staying under my fat and calorie intake and then have someone obnoxiously point out that I've gone over on sodium.
    -I saw an excellent post on here quite awhile back about the "organic rainbow lettuce brigade" or something or other basically pointing out how crazy the "clean eaters" can be around everyone else. I don't buy into clean eating and it's not something I feel I can sustain for a lifetime. I don't want those people making negative comments about my food choices because I sometimes eat processed foods. It works for me, and I don't want people making me feel bad about it.
    -It's a privacy thing. No one needs to know exactly what I put in my mouth 24/7. My IRL friends don't even know that.

    My friends are encouraging when I stay under my goal, post a workout, or post a loss. I keep positive people only on my list. Some people are looking for the hardcore people to "yell" at them every time they've done something "wrong"- if that's what they want, then they can have those types of friends. If someone wants to delete me because they can't get a chance to lecture about whatever I had for dinner, that is totally fine with me. The great thing about the site is that you can choose to be friends with people who mesh with your style. I didn't accept friends for a long time when I first started b/c I hated all of the negativity and superiority I saw. Eventually I realized I could accept friends who were interested in the same thing I am and stay away from all of that.
  • CarolynB38
    CarolynB38 Posts: 553 Member
    I have friends who have their diaries closed. It doesn't stop me from supporting them. Different people need support in different ways. My diary is open but it wasn't to start with. Initially I was just here for the tools but discovered the support was invaluable and that I didn't mind people being able to see my diary. Some people don't need to have the diary open for someone else to hold them accountable - they take responsibility for that themselves. My friends with closed diaries seem to be doing well. Perhaps they just don't want a nosey-parker like me scrutinising their every mouthful! I am happy to support anyone who is serious about changing their lifestyle in a positive way and if they wish to keep their diary private then that's fine with me :happy:
  • jlbay
    jlbay Posts: 473 Member
    I really should save my responses to these "closed diary" threads.

    Why do people care whether others have open or closed diaries? It seems a bit controlling.

    Some reasons people don't open their diaries:

    *It is the Internet - you get very strange people commenting on something personal. Who wants a troll sending PMs about that piece of cake you had?
    *You are embarrassed.
    *You've had issues with eating disorders and the idea of others commenting on your food choices is unbearable.
    *Why on earth would you take the advice of some random MFP person on your nutrition? Are they a nutritionist/dietician/doctor?
    *You don't owe it to anyone.
    *You don't need someone's opinion on being over calories one day - you know what you are doing and not doing. Plus, a food diary doesn't convey all the info: diabetes, food allergies, food intolerances, pregnancy, breast feeding, saving calories to go to a party, carbo loading before a big race, on and on!
    *People on MFP have various ideas about nutrition (cleanses, no carbs, high protein, low cal, low fat, high fat, eat more, primal, clean, everything in moderation, on and on). Which would you listen to?
    *Open diary is NOT the whole point of MFP. That's why it is an option.
    *You are a stellar cook and don't need shopping or recipe ideas from others.
    *You tried opening your diary and the inappropriate comments from people who don't understand boundaries or etiquette or nutrition sent you over the edge.
    *Your mom/sister/cousin/coworker/best friend/spouse is on MFP and you don't really want her/him reading your food diary.
    *Food is personal to you.
    *You are a grown adult and don't need someone policing your intake.
    *You don't wanna.
  • cfred40
    cfred40 Posts: 151 Member
    Simply put , you're free to use the site as you wish. My usage pattern has changed since I first joined. I consume a lot of the same things, & just don't bother logging sometimes.

    Are you gonna log for the rest of your life? This is a great site with great tools if used wisely. IMHO it should teach you/make aware, portion sizes, nutritional content, exercise, making better informed choices & ect.

    It should be used as a learning tool and not a crutch for the rest of your life. Otherwise, what have you really learned?

    With that said, I love my fitness pals, but could care less what they have in their diary. Unless they specifically mention something in it or ask for advice, I would rather spend my free time outside being active than POLICING THEIR DIARY! They're adults, if they ate a piece of cake & logged it, I think they know about it already!
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.

    It's kind of like saying: "even though we are married we don't need to have sex because holding hands should be enough." :wink:
    Seriously?? I hope you aren't married. It's not even close to being a little tiny bit even remotely like that. It's more like saying "Just because we are neighbors doesn't mean you need to have a key to my house." I keep my diary open to my friends and closed to the general public. I'll give a key to my house to my good neighbors but I'm not going to throw the door wide open and leave it that way. I don't need some stranger on the interwebs commenting that I didn't eat enough or that I need to work out more or that I shouldn't eat meat because it's murder. It's nice to have support but some people here seem to think they are way more important and knowledgable than they really are. I'll choose who I want to support me and whose advice I want to receive thankyouverymuch.
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    I can understand some people just like to be private. However, I love looking at other people's diaries as I always get some really good and different ideas on what to eat. Mine's open!
  • deaddivya
    deaddivya Posts: 102
    Not everybody is here for support, some just want to log their calories and use the site as a tool to weight loss.
    Anyways, mine's open for everyone.
  • skoshness
    skoshness Posts: 175
    surely it's up to the individual, why even care?
  • tehpounce
    tehpounce Posts: 64
    I had no idea mine was private, changed!
  • CarriLu123
    CarriLu123 Posts: 82 Member
    For me personally I'm still trying to figure out what's going to work for me. I don't want others in put. When I do I ask someone I trust. I don't need anyone to hold me accountable. What I do or don't eat only hurts me.
  • amruden
    amruden Posts: 228 Member
    Just like my sins are between me and God

    What I eat is between Me and my Stomach.

    :flowerforyou:
  • CollisionofNova
    CollisionofNova Posts: 98
    Funny, OP's diary is not open unless you're friends.

    :huh:
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Funny, OP's diary is not open unless you're friends.

    :huh:
    Same with the one who thinks it's like sex in a marriage. :laugh:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Mine is closed because like my paycheck doesn't pay your bills, my diary will not help your weightloss.

    When I am accountable to my team or friends for a challenge, I give them my password.

    That is why it is an option:flowerforyou:
  • FitMama2013
    FitMama2013 Posts: 913 Member
    because I already have issues with shame and food, so having someone call me out (which has happened before) doesn't help that AT ALL.

    currently my diary is open, but it was close for awhile before that bc I wasn't comfortable.
  • wilmnoca
    wilmnoca Posts: 416 Member
    the same reason yours in only viewable to your "friends"
  • Sharmender
    Sharmender Posts: 133 Member
    I dont want anyone to comment on what I eat. It's pretty healthy, but I eat like bad chocolaty things too everyday.
    Thats why its working for me though. Also I really feel that what you eat is pretty private information in general.
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
    Funny, OP's diary is not open unless you're friends.

    :huh:
    Same with the one who thinks it's like sex in a marriage. :laugh:

    But it is JUST like it :laugh:

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