How do adults make friends?

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  • beduffbrickie
    beduffbrickie Posts: 642 Member
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    bump
  • ndnmomma
    ndnmomma Posts: 466 Member
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    Ahhhhahahaha...just play in the sand box, and others will soon join you :) I am talking adults just so your certain.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    Edit to add quote: "Just curious,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,what, in your opinion, is an "old fart"?"



    Retirment age, three people in my office retiring withing the next few years and we have a very small office. I'll be an old fart one of these days too!

    Well, duhhammmmmmmmmmn.....................be nice to the old farts!!!

    Although I'm not officially 'retirement age" yet, I am considering going down that road..........I'd hate it if all of you whippersnappers started to call me an "old fart". I try to be hip and cool..................no, wait, is that "old fart" talk?

    lol.......just giving you some crap. But yes, remember, YOU TOO will be there someday. Stay young - it's good for the soul.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    I completely understand! I moved to a new state not knowing one person who lives here and everyone I work with are old farts.

    Just curious,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,what, in your opinion, is an "old fart"?


    I think an old fart can be any age at all. It is an attitude not an age. Old farts don't want to do anything, won't go for lunch, won't join in any reindeer games, have no sense of humour, and are surrounded by other old farts.

    Whew! I LOVE lunch, and reindeer games are among my favorites, and I laugh at stupid jokes, and I surround myself with people who are young, and young-at-heart.

    YAY, I am NOT an old fart!!!!

    :glasses: :smokin: :glasses: :smokin: :glasses: :smokin: :glasses:
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Yeah, I tried that website and clearly my area sucks.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    I did not mean to put down or disrespect older people.... I have work friendships with these older ladies but I'm not going to invite a 60 year old lady out for a beer. I'm not really ready to retire that part of my life completely at 36. Between work, kids, housework and working out I like my free time to be fun.

    I'm 57.

    I'd have a beer with you!!
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
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    I did not mean to put down or disrespect older people.... I have work friendships with these older ladies but I'm not going to invite a 60 year old lady out for a beer. I'm not really ready to retire that part of my life completely at 36. Between work, kids, housework and working out I like my free time to be fun.

    I'm 57.

    I'd have a beer with you!!

    If your a chill 57 thats one thing. I should clarify that the ladies are work with are uptight 60 yo ladies. :drinker:
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
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    Yeah, I tried that website and clearly my area sucks.

    I just checked my area and there is a book club. I do enjoy reading but I'm not big on sitting around talking about reading.

    and a hiking/running group. - This one I think I might try :smile:
  • ONE03
    ONE03 Posts: 125 Member
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    i didn't become friends with everyone; didn't even hit it off with every person i met,

    but a few really good friendships grew out of the contacts i made

    so the stress and anxiety of putting myself out there time and time again eventually has paid off

    thanks for posting this. i've been putting myself out there since march and haven't made a friend yet. :(. we'll go out once, and i'll invite people to other events again... no one is interested! pretty disheartening.

    after your post, i guess no biggie. i'll just keep putting myself out there and throwing out invites.
  • ShareeMorty
    ShareeMorty Posts: 324 Member
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    I met my closest girlfriend through a weight watchers website, we live in the same town and she was looking for someone to walk with, luckily she can talk the hind leg off a dog and that helped with the awkward stage of the friendship. Facebook is great, my most awesome friends I have picked up from other friends along the way, yeah most of them are miles away from me and one of my dearest friends is across the planet, but we skype and hang out that way.
    I have friends I have made at work and my knitting friends most of whom are past retirement age but those ladies are hilarious! I have made friends talking to other parents at school while waiting to pick up my kids. When we moved here 4 years ago I knew nobody and now I have a wide range of friends from all walks of life.

    I am a painfully shy person, but do have to be a people person in my job so I fake that when I meet people socially. Fake it till you make it and most people are interesting, just ask them if they would like to grab a coffee one day and see how it goes.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
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    Join groups, check out meetup.com for the different groups in your area, maybe.

    There's something there for almost every interest.

    Yes, yes, and YES. Plus you can meet people who like to do what you like to do. Instant friends!!!
  • juliekin
    juliekin Posts: 139 Member
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    Some of my close friends I met through the kids- they're fellow parents. Many of the parents don't click, but once in a while- boom!- there it is! My husband and I have 2 couples we see regularly and have dinner with. And, luckily, our kids get along.

    Also, joining a rec sports team, church/community service groups, friends from high school who reconnected at the 20 year reunion, friends of friends, next door neighbors, and even local park district events are some places. I guess I have a kind face because people talk to me all of the time. I think appearing to be open and listening to others goes a long way.
  • Promqueen_74932
    Promqueen_74932 Posts: 203 Member
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    There's SO many ways to make new friends!

    One way is posting on the Message boards! ;-D Another way is to take a risk and TALK to people you've seen several times at work, church, grocery store, gym, restaurant, etc. You can use FB, Myspace, or twitter also! I like to find friends who have the same interests as I do. Makes doing those things more fun b/c I can invite like minded friends to join me. :-)
    Step out of your comfort zone and talk to people. Small conversations first, then work your way up to exchanging phone numbers and FB info! Branch out! Look around! There are people EVERYWHERE!

    Feel free to add me to your friends list too! :-D

    Sara
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I started leading weekly hikes with local MFPers. We often go out to eat afterward. They are awesome!
    Going to hike a 14,000' mountain with two of them tomorrow.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
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    I'm still pretty young just turned 25 this year, but as my husband is military, I've lived in 3 different states in the past 2 years after finishing grad school. I've had to focus all my energies into finding gainful employment and don't spend nearly enough time looking for friends. It's not easy, but it can be done. Fortunately, after I landed a job this past winter, my colleague and I (she's 24 and we were both the music teachers at our school) hit it off well and we regularly hang out outside of work. It's also nice because since she's from the area, she introduces me to all of her friends (bonus!!) that are local, too. I miss my best girlfriends who all live so far away from me now :( But, it's something my husband says will take some getting used to. I'm sure he's right. He moved from WA state all the way to NC after he finished basic training at 19. If he can start anew and keep his military buddies, I think I can do likewise. It's just a matter of putting yourself out there :)
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
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    I started leading weekly hikes with local MFPers. We often go out to eat afterward. They are awesome!
    Going to hike a 14,000' mountain with two of them tomorrow.

    JEALOUS!!!!!!!!! I love FL, but I miss my Appalachian Mountains in SW Virginia. We don't have 14,000' mountains there, so you must be somewhere out west, lol.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I want to know "How often is too often"?

    I know some people, and we like to do the same things, so I'll ask them if they want to go to a concert, and we will go out, but then after a few times, she says 'no' (which is totally fine) and then keeps saying no, and then after a month or 2, she'll call and suddenly want to go out. I don't call her every week, maybe every other week or every 3 weeks.

    I feel like I'm being a nag sometimes, and then sometimes I feel weird if she never calls me, and I feel like I'm doing the calling. I had a friend in high school that never called me, and another friend said, "if she wants to be your friend and hang out, she will call you", so I stopped calling her, she never called me and I haven't seen her in over 15 years, not mad at her, just felt like 'why do I always have to call and make plans'

    Ok, I'm going to hide under my rock now...
  • ONE03
    ONE03 Posts: 125 Member
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    Ok, I'm going to hide under my rock now...

    OMG, I want to be YOUR friend! I would so go out with you and make plans. :sad: I invite people out around once a week, and no one wants to leave home!

    Is there anyone in the DC/MD/VA area? Let's go have a healthy lunch and hit up some of the many summer events in DC! Seriously, free walking tours weekly. Exercise & healthy food. :wink:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    A lot of folks don't realize but many others are in the similar situation.

    So true. I thought I was alone, and I started talking to people and I found out that I am not alone - most everyone feels this way. My friend and I are trying to branch out - she has been going to a pick up volleyball game and I am going to go if I get the chance one of these days.
    how do you go from chatting with a "stranger" to making that person your friend? I can talk to strangers all day long. I have no idea how to transition from there into actually hanging out with someone. It seems so foreign to me.

    This is soooo me. I can talk to people all day but how do you say "well it's been nice talking to you we should hang out sometime" without sounding like a creeper.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I want to know "How often is too often"?

    I know some people, and we like to do the same things, so I'll ask them if they want to go to a concert, and we will go out, but then after a few times, she says 'no' (which is totally fine) and then keeps saying no, and then after a month or 2, she'll call and suddenly want to go out. I don't call her every week, maybe every other week or every 3 weeks.

    I feel like I'm being a nag sometimes, and then sometimes I feel weird if she never calls me, and I feel like I'm doing the calling. I had a friend in high school that never called me, and another friend said, "if she wants to be your friend and hang out, she will call you", so I stopped calling her, she never called me and I haven't seen her in over 15 years, not mad at her, just felt like 'why do I always have to call and make plans'

    Ok, I'm going to hide under my rock now...

    bump...I want to know answers to my question...I would totally call ONE03...but I live on the opposite coast :frown:
    (and the other thread made me remember this thread)

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