Women dating younger men

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kappyblu
kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
in Chit-Chat
Little back story first: my ex-husband who is my age, 40, is getting remarried. His fiancee is 23 years old. I admit it bugged me at first, but what he does in his personal life is none of my concern, so I have moved past that. I just want her to be good to my children.

But it got me thinking that when a man dates a much younger woman, it usually isn't considered a big deal as long as she's legal. But when a woman dates a younger man, she's a cougar, milf, or whatever unflattering name she is called.

Ironically, there is a man who is 16 years my junior that I am attracted to, but I haven't acted on those feelings because of the age difference. Am I making a mistake here?

So what is your opinion of women dating younger men or men dating older women? Any experiences or advice you would like to share? :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    I personally could never date a man who is significantly younger than me. Probably no more than 5 years younger.
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
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    I'd date one for the ego boost, but seriously, how much would you really have in common with someone who was born when you were in high school?
  • fixerman
    fixerman Posts: 1
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    You should do whatever feels right for you. Age is not what should be important, what is in your heart is. I say go for it! We only get 1 ride on this thing called life so enjoy it to the fullest. Best of luck to you. Be Happy
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    I was with a man 5 years younger than me for 5 years. We had a great relationship and the sex was great!! (TMI, sorry!!)

    I say go for it! And JMO, a 40 year old man who would be with a 23 year old obviously doesn't think he can impress a woman who is a bit more worldly and well rounded. It could also show that he has a controlling personality and knows he can't control a peer. And finally, it's creepy. LOL! JMO, hope I didn't hurt any feelings.
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    I was with a man 5 years younger than me for 5 years. We had a great relationship and the sex was great!! (TMI, sorry!!)

    I say go for it! And JMO, a 40 year old man who would be with a 23 year old obviously doesn't think he can impress a woman who is a bit more worldly and well rounded. It could also show that he has a controlling personality and knows he can't control a peer. And finally, it's creepy. LOL! JMO, hope I didn't hurt any feelings.

    No hurt feelings here. lol Thanks for sharing! :wink: But the creepiness is something else I thought of. Is it only creepy when an older man dates the younger woman or is it equally creepy when an older woman dates a younger woman?
  • newfette81
    newfette81 Posts: 185
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    My boyfriend is 4 years younger than me and we've been together for 2 and a half years. Age is sometimes an issue meaning that I'm 31, I'm ready to be married and settled down and hes sometime not quite ready for that. It just means I need to be more patient. :o)

    But at the end of the day the age means nothing. Most people think we are the same age because he acts older than what he is and I look and act younger than what I am.

    I've never been so happy in my whole life as i am with him and he loves me more than i ever though someone could... even with all the weight i have on me right now.

    with that being said I don't know if I would be able to date someone who was a lot younger than me. It makes me feel old when my current bf doesn't remember things that happened years ago (like the Nancy Kerrigan incident before the winter Olympics...LOL)
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    I was with a man 5 years younger than me for 5 years. We had a great relationship and the sex was great!! (TMI, sorry!!)

    I say go for it! And JMO, a 40 year old man who would be with a 23 year old obviously doesn't think he can impress a woman who is a bit more worldly and well rounded. It could also show that he has a controlling personality and knows he can't control a peer. And finally, it's creepy. LOL! JMO, hope I didn't hurt any feelings.

    No hurt feelings here. lol Thanks for sharing! :wink: But the creepiness is something else I thought of. Is it only creepy when an older man dates the younger woman or is it equally creepy when an older woman dates a younger woman?

    Here's my guess on this situation. If you try it and feel uncomfortable, you will discontinue the relationship. I think it would probably be fun and make you feel young and alive. But chances are you will grow bored because he won't be able to thrill you in other areas outside the BR. I don't see the harm in stepping outside of the box. I actually do know a couple that is 18 years apart (the female being older). They are married and have a great relationship.
  • Vipecap
    Vipecap Posts: 166 Member
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    As a guy, I would say it really comes down more to what you two share feelings wise and what you are looking for out of it. There is no reason to limit yourself because of an arbitrary number that you think society may or may not find acceptable. If you two date and are happy, more power to you, end of story. Don't get caught up on if 4 years or 6 years or whatever is too much, just live life to the fullest that you can.
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    And with regard to the creepy part....I think I probably feel this way because men alot older than me used to hit on me when i was in my 20's. (I was in a male dominated industry so i was exposed to alot). It really turned me off to the concept of the much older man and the 20 something woman. Kind of gross actually.
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    "with that being said I don't know if I would be able to date someone who was a lot younger than me. It makes me feel old when my current bf doesn't remember things that happened years ago (like the Nancy Kerrigan incident before the winter Olympics...LOL)"




    This is something I concerns me, too. Someone so much younger won't remember Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street or understand why we wore such big hair and leg warmers in the 80s. :laugh:
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    with that being said I don't know if I would be able to date someone who was a lot younger than me. It makes me feel old when my current bf doesn't remember things that happened years ago (like the Nancy Kerrigan incident before the winter Olympics...LOL)
    [/quote]

    This is something I concerns me, too. Someone so much younger won't remember Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street or understand why we wore such big hair and leg warmers in the 80s. :laugh:
    [/quote]

    Ahhhh wonderful times!! LOL. You could just borrow him to make an appearance at your ex's wedding....hmmmm...LOL
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
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    I'm married to a man 12 years younger, him 31 me 43.
    Its more life stages than age. Your divorced with kids, if he has never married you are in quite different places and issues which he may not want to be bothered with come up.
    the bottom line is if he is interested, and you are, as long as you can talk freely about any issues you can work them through.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    OP.
    Milf and couger are positive terms these days. Or so I thought.
  • Specialkayrina
    Specialkayrina Posts: 242 Member
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    Age is not a issue for me.
    I say go for it!!
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    My Aunt is married to a guy 10 years younger than her, works perfectly, they have a little boy :smile: She was the wild one and he calmed her down. I think it just depends on your/their personalities.
    Good luck :wink:
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
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    i say why the hell not....its what makes ya happy
  • thetrishwarp
    thetrishwarp Posts: 838 Member
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    Whatever gets your gears turning.

    If I were a bit older I doubt I'd have a problem (like if I were 30 and dated someone who was 25)

    However, I'm 19...so to date someone 5 years younger, they would be 14, which is just wildly inappropriate. So for the moment, I'm sticking with guys near my own age!
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    I'm married to a man 12 years younger, him 31 me 43.
    Its more life stages than age. Your divorced with kids, if he has never married you are in quite different places and issues which he may not want to be bothered with come up.
    the bottom line is if he is interested, and you are, as long as you can talk freely about any issues you can work them through.

    What you said makes a lot of sense. Yep, me divorced with kids and no, he has not been married and he has no children. However, he is so interesting to talk to and acts much older than he is. We do have a lot of the same opinions and likes/dislikes. This is why it is difficult for me. :ohwell:
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,274 Member
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    OP..

    you have to get men early.. i have been told they are easier to train younger.. and they are at their sexual peak at like 18.. women's peak is like 40.. so when men get to 40.. wed rather sleep and dream about it.. then actually do it..


    oh the joys of getting older for men..
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    But it got me thinking that when a man dates a much younger woman, it usually isn't considered a big deal as long as she's legal. But when a woman dates a younger man, she's a cougar, milf, or whatever unflattering name she is called.

    No when men date somebody younger, they're just called cradle robber or my favorite, perverted sex freak

    edit: dang bad spellings >.<

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