Women dating younger men

SVCat

My ex and I seperated. For about an eight month timeframe we both couldn't really see eye to eye on many things and lost track of each other. Over time we were able to communicate much better and have actually grown to become good friends. We both shared our "dating" stories and it turns out that both of us (38) years old, both went and found younger mates. Hers was 24, mine was 25. We spoke about that, and although at the time we were saying that we got along great and just had a good time together, it came down to sex.

So is there something wrong with it? I don't think so, sex is great but apart from that...there are so many things that you lose out on and a few gains. I would never date someone in the 20's again...too much drama!

MissFit0101

I don't think age should matter if the maturity level is there, and you guys have a connection. I'm 13 years younger than my hunni and we have a wonderful relationship. I know that's different because he's the older one, but it shouldn't be. Who cares what anyone thinks? All that matters is what you think and that you're happy.

DarthCeltic

But it got me thinking that when a man dates a much younger woman, it usually isn't considered a big deal as long as she's legal. But when a woman dates a younger man, she's a cougar, milf, or whatever unflattering name she is called.

No when men date somebody younger, they're just called cradle robber or my favorite, perverted sex freal

I HATE being called a freal... it sucks..

bm99

This applies to men and women: I think that when the age discrepancy is large, like 10-20 years there is a good chance it is not going to be an equal, partnerlike relationship. One of the couple is in power and the other (the younger) is there to please the older person. Often the older person has more money and success (and intelligence IME) and really isn't looking for someone to share their life with so much as someone to be their companion and amuse them. The younger person usually knows the deal and is "taken care of" (depending on the wealth of the older person, sometimes this doesn't happen financially) by the older person.

I just can't see it as being equal, but all parties know what they want and apparently have it, so who cares?

RedneckWmn

I say go for it. Age is just a number. If you have things in common and have the same values etc then there shouldn't be a problem. My friends call me a puma because the guy I'm dating is younger then me. My other 2 best friends are both dating people younger then them. It can work. It's worth a shot!

NocturnalGirl

Um I wouldn't date a guy younger than me. I don't even prefer the same age, preferably older than me by a minimum of 3 years.

Soon2BeMrsThomson

I was with a man 5 years younger than me for 5 years. We had a great relationship and the sex was great!! (TMI, sorry!!)

I say go for it! And JMO, a 40 year old man who would be with a 23 year old obviously doesn't think he can impress a woman who is a bit more worldly and well rounded. It could also show that he has a controlling personality and knows he can't control a peer. And finally, it's creepy. LOL! JMO, hope I didn't hurt any feelings.

I'm 15 years younger than my fiance and he is not controlling and I am very worldly and well rounded for my age - I think your generalisation of this situation is very unfair to be honest!!

OP - if you get on and like each other there is no reason you shouldn't go for it hun!!!

TrainingWithTonya

My husband is 4 years younger then me. We've been married 11 years on Saturday. He is my soul mate and age means nothing. My Mom and Dad were 7 years apart (with her being older) and they were married for 22 years before she passed away. Again, soul mates. Age is completely irrelevant. It is all about how the two of you get along and feel about each other. If you don't have that unseen connection, it wouldn't matter if you were born on the same day in the same hospital in the same delivery room, you won't be happy. Being happy is much more important then a number.

Alex_is_Hawks

I can offer a different opinion on the other side...

i've dated a 54 year old man when I was 24. He was four years older than my dad.

We connected on several issues such as his job within the consulting environmental industry and academics and so forth. We were VERY well matched intellectually, emotionally, physically etc. and it was one of the best relationships I ever had with a person, and considering all of that we are still friends. I also know that it was one of the best relationships that he ever had.

Why didn't it work out? Because I was at the end of my school career and wanted to actually go out into the work force and make something of myself, I had ambitions and desires to be successful. Something that he greatly admired about me. But he was preparing to retire and sail around the world (which he's currently doing, he's in Bali right now), something I really admire about him and you can't have a job while you are on a boat in the middle of nowhere.

So we called it quits, decided to be friends and no regrets.

Age is just a number, if the person is someone that you can really connect with, talk to and care enough about to make the compromises that inevitably show up in a relationship, then you can make anything work.

Younger, older, same, whatever.

We cared a LOT for each other, but in the end, not enough to compromise our life goals. I would still do it again in a heartbeat and I know he would too as it was an incredible learning experience.

Anyways...age is JUST a number, if you connect, you connect. End of story.

L

MissFit0101

I was with a man 5 years younger than me for 5 years. We had a great relationship and the sex was great!! (TMI, sorry!!)

I say go for it! And JMO, a 40 year old man who would be with a 23 year old obviously doesn't think he can impress a woman who is a bit more worldly and well rounded. It could also show that he has a controlling personality and knows he can't control a peer. And finally, it's creepy. LOL! JMO, hope I didn't hurt any feelings.

I'm 15 years younger than my fiance and he is not controlling and I am very worldly and well rounded for my age - I think your generalisation of this situation is very unfair to be honest!!

Agreed! ^

mrcheekychops81

You should do what feels comforatable to you, just don't let him take you for a fool i guess, and I personally would'nt date anyone more than 5 or 6 years younger than me and I generally prefer women a little older than me.:blushing:

chrishgt4

I think it's the other way round. When you hear about an older guy with a younger girl, people would normally look at him like he is taking advantage (or if he's a sugar daddy, being taken advantage of).

Regarding MILF and Cougar - those are positive terms. I don't know what makes you say they are negative.

Generally it gets looked at like if a woman can get a younger guy then look how awesome and hot she still is. If an older man gets a younger woman then she is only in it for the money or she has 'daddy issues' etc.

fionarama

What you said makes a lot of sense. Yep, me divorced with kids and no, he has not been married and he has no children. However, he is so interesting to talk to and acts much older than he is. We do have a lot of the same opinions and likes/dislikes. This is why it is difficult for me. :ohwell:
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depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for, if you want one with a future he needs someone he can have kids with at some stage. Even if he thinks he doesn't want them now he might change his mind 10 years down the track .

melanie3103

I'm with a guy 9 years younger than me (I'm 36, and he is 27).. I never thought I would be attracted to someone so much younger, always such a big deal for me. Always attracted to older guys in the past - been married before, to a guy 7 yrs older than me (long time ago!)... and dated since then, guys older than me too. Never have I considered a younger guy, writing them all off as immature and the fact that we couldnt possibly have stuff in common. BUT it totally depends on who you meet, the right person it doesnt matter how old they are or the age gap.

You're right, if you've nothing in common and dissimilar dreams/values then it won't work out. Regardless of whether they are your age or not. I have met many unsuitable guys with a wide range of ages. I was just lucky to find someone that I gelled with - the fact that he is younger makes no odds now. We share such a lot, similar hobbies and want the same things - so while an "average 26 yr old" would not suit me.. we do just fine. We are very happy. No-one is more surprised than me, that it worked out I mean. We are now engaged to be married, next year, and we both are keen for a family. So I guess it just works sometimes.

Don't get me wrong I've met more than my fair share of immature 26 year olds too! Just steer clear of those!

kappyblu

Regarding MILF and Cougar - those are positive terms. I don't know what makes you say they are negative.

I know they are meant to be positive and flattering. But here is what I find somewhat negative about them, because the general view of cougars is that she only wants the younger woman so she can "get her groove back" and then toss the man aside when she has had her fill and move on to the next one. When what I really want is to find love again with someone. And if he turns out to be younger than me, I would rather not be labeled as a cougar, just a woman in love.

ampa916

I would never date anyone younger than me (but I am only 23 myself so it's not like they could be much younger anyways) But if I wasn't married I don't think I would date anyone younger than 30. I don't like guys my age. However if I ever became attracted to someone and had a great time with them I don't think I would let an age difference get in the way (as long as they were legal). I think it's important to live life for you, if it wouldn't bother you about his age then go for it. But don't feel bad if it does bother you, we all have our ideas about what we want in a partner and sure not every one of those are going to be met but you have to pick and choose. Make the choice for you though, not for what people would say, although know it will come up and you'd have to learn to roll with that.

catshark209

But it got me thinking that when a man dates a much younger woman, it usually isn't considered a big deal as long as she's legal. But when a woman dates a younger man, she's a cougar, milf, or whatever unflattering name she is called.

No when men date somebody younger, they're just called cradle robber or my favorite, perverted sex freal

I HATE being called a freal... it sucks..

My ex husband is 5 years younger and after we divorced, I dated men that were 8-9 years younger. They're nice decor but no more.
My current bf, who I've been with almost 7 years, is 52. I'm 36. I likey older men better. But we sure get weird looks. Ugh.

marcoscu

If it is OK for men to date much younger women then why not they other way around. Just go for it and have some fun. Life is short.

ghosct

Nothing wrong with a women dating a younger man and vice versa. go for it and who cares what people think or say

deez2015

My fiance is almost 8 years younger than me. we have so much in common and we are on the same "maturity level". It works for us .