I hate to sound mean but......

Options
1356712

Replies

  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 477 Member
    Options
    I would say do nothing. People are going to do what they want to do. If someone suggested to me to change my eating habits before I was ready to, I would not have listened and I would have been very pissed off. It is up to her to change, not up to you to change her. At one point, people would have looked at my food choices and been repulsed as well. Thankfully no one said anything. People have to want to change.

    THIS ^^^^ I couldn't agree more.
  • LifeOnMars_
    LifeOnMars_ Posts: 755 Member
    Options
    It's her life. Worry about yourself.
  • Bakerchk
    Bakerchk Posts: 424 Member
    Options
    Hopefully she will see your results and see what you eat, and ask you about it. Then you can share with her all of the things you have learned and hopefully encourage her to change her habits. Besides that, I wouldn't say anything. There is an obese male who works in my building and for the longest time he didn't say anything to me. recently he's been asking how I lost my weight and now he is interested in eating healthier. It disgust me too when I see people eat like that. I have a co-worker who eats like that and really it's sad, but you can't push your diet on others, because more than likely they won't listen.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    Options
    do nothing. say nothing.

    I totally get where you are coming from.... but its not your place. Unless she is a friend you should leave her alone. Let her shortcomings remind you of what NOT to eat.

    Who knows just like you notice her intake, maybe she will notice yours and make some changes on her own.
  • KimFriesen64
    Options
    I would mind my own business.
  • SerinaK
    SerinaK Posts: 87
    Options
    I wouldn't say anything. Lead by example. If it was a friend or family member and you may have some concerns, then I would say something. In this case, I would just leave her alone.
  • maricash
    maricash Posts: 280 Member
    Options
    I dont hate overweight people at all. Not even her.

    You just find them repulsive and think it's appropriate to keep track of everything that they eat in a given day.

    And "not even her"? What does that mean? Has she done something to hurt you? Beyond just existing I mean.
  • zsaoosh
    zsaoosh Posts: 402 Member
    Options
    I find myself being very judgmental. Like I never think twice when I see a thin person at McDonalds but when I see someone that is overweight at McDonalds I always have negative things to say in my head, especially if they have their overweight kids with them. It’s a horrible thing that I need to teach myself to stop doing.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    Options
    I cant help but be bothered by her eating habits.

    I am not judging by her eating habits

    I’m really bothered

    What would you do?

    You may not like this reply, but I'm honest.


    I would learn to accept that other people can make decisions about their life that do not effect you. Much in the same way that someone can be homosexual, or have tattoos, or wear a blue shirt.


    Get over it.
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    I would leave her alone about it.
    By saying you want to help, you're setting yourself up as better than her. They say there's nothing worse than a reformed fill-in-the-blank (smoker, drinker, fat person, etc.). She knows she's fat and she'd have to be completely clueless not to know that her eating habits stink, which could mean a number of things. She either doesn't care, is frustrated by her weight and has written off any hope of losing weight so why bother, is depressed, enjoys the fatty, sugary treats (don't we all) and maybe believes she'd have to give them all up to lose weight and doesn't want to be deprived, Who knows?
    When she's ready, and starts making attempts, then you can be supportive, or offer suggestions. Until she's ready, nothing anyone says (including her doctor, perhaps) will make her change.
    I'm sure it's frustrating for you because you're on this journey. But that's just it. It's your journey. She has to make her own.
  • tyoung8
    tyoung8 Posts: 115 Member
    Options
    Now I would never say mean things about people that are over weight but I cant help but be bothered by her eating habits.

    I would never say mean things but....

    You just did. Unless she asks for your help it is none of your business. What she eats is none of your business, and it is pretty nosy of you to keep track of what she eats. If she wants your help she'll let you know, but I wouldn't hold my breathe.


    What part of that was mean? and Im not keeping track. I just notice because she its directly in front of my face.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Options
    I'm not trying to sound mean, and I'm not judging you or saying anything bad about you, but you're kind of being a snob and you need to worry about you.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    Options
    :cry:
  • artbkward
    artbkward Posts: 238 Member
    Options
    I agree with the posters who say do nothing. I think your only possible option is to occasionally bring healthy snacks and offer her some (not everyday, not obviously). Have a garden? Make some salsa and bring in for everyone. Have grapes that will go bad before you get them all ate? Bring them in.
  • HannahDiaz25
    HannahDiaz25 Posts: 104
    Options
    There's nothing worse than someone on a mission.

    Just leave it. It's none of your business. Lead by example. Keep it simple.

    ^^ Agreed.

    This
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
    Options
    It feels almost ridiculous to watch such a situation.. but I'm assuming, if she is at any range of normal intelligence, that she KNOWS what she's eating is bad. She KNOWS she's obese... perhaps she's tried forever to lose weight and it hasn't worked, so she's sort of resigned herself to it and thought "f it, I'll just eat whatever, because it doesnt matter." Not that this kind of thinking is healthy or right, but it happens. Surely it happens to many obese people! Maybe someday she'll change... but for now, all you can do is lead by example. I think approaching it head-on might be over the line, unless you're good friends.


    edit to add- even I, who have never actually been considered "obsese" have had those thoughts. There comes a point where you feel silly even TRYING to subsitute celery for french fries, or whatever, because you feel like you're not making any progress. Why "torture" yourself with low calories and vegetables you dont really like when you dont see changes. It's sad. It sucks. And of course if anyone sticks to a "lifestlye change" there WILL be progress, but it's easier for some. Ah well.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    Options
    I am not judging by her eating habits but I find it very discouraging being around this.

    But you are.
    I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating so carelessly.

    Bottom line: It's none of your business.
  • Angie_1MR
    Angie_1MR Posts: 247
    Options
    Do nothing, you can't make people change if they aren't motivated to do it themselves. Keep kicking *kitten* and taking names for yourself and maybe eventually she'll reach out for help! :)
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    Options
    There's nothing worse than someone on a mission.

    Just leave it. It's none of your business. Lead by example. Keep it simple.

    boom.

    </thread>
  • Rolande55
    Rolande55 Posts: 52 Member
    Options
    I'm reminded of an expression: " There's something about that person I don't like about me"..........

    We are all mirrors and the people who annoy us the most have the most to teach us about ourselves. In this case you dislike the junk food addict part that lies within you that she is reflecting back at you. Try accepting that you and indeed all of us are just "human" with failings and faults and dysfunctional lives. Learn to love every aspect of yourself INCLUDING the not so pleasant pars of your character that make you a unique individual yet also share with others. Forgive yourself your bad food addiction, pat yourself on the back for wanting to make positive changes in your life. Then you'll find that when you next see your cubicle neighbour, you will find compassion and love for that person who's in on her own personal journey. In the meantime do not judge and see your reaction for what it is: an opportunity to observe, learn and do some soul searching and healing.
This discussion has been closed.