I hate to sound mean but......

tyoung8

Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.

Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!

I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.

Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.

You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!

Good Day People!

inraptorswetrust

You're judging her. Just own it, because I would too. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do, since it's not your business. Just silently judge her and think about how much healthier you are. Enjoy that feeling of superiority and better health. Maybe one day she will get sick enough that she has a wake-up call. Probably not though.

jen_bd6

Use it as a motivating factor to "not end up like that" As far as her health, that's her business and he calling out sick all the time, that's your supervisor's problem. Just let her live her unhealthy lifestyle, and maybe someday she will get a wake-up call. And who knows. Maybe she will see your progress and end up asking you about it. Then you could say something. Until then, I would stay out of it (no matter how difficult that is for you... I have the same problem where I work... so I understand completely!)

LALOCHA34

It is odd to me that you would post this topic. :indifferent:

FrugalMomsRock75

Acutally no im not jealous. I can eat those things if I chose. Dont choose to.

If you're going to make statements like that, you might want to close your food diary.

winner!

shanchamber

Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.

This, too. I hate it when people post something like this and say, "I don't want to be mean, but..." No, you do. You think that you're morally superior to this woman because you've decided to eat differently than she does. Is she hurting anyone but herself? No. Therefore, the question of morality is not involved.

rml_16

Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.

Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!

I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.

Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.

You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!

Good Day People!

You should march right up to her, grab whatever she's eating out of her hand, toss it in the trash and say, "Time to get a grip, fatty. I'm putting you on a diet to save your life! Your eating habits make me want to vomit."

Let us know how that goes.

runnerchick69

You don't sound mean, you sound human! I've been there, I've seen it and I know how frustrating it can be. The problem I had was then the person sat there and told me how they had tried to lose weight but it just wouldn't come off...seriously don't tell me that when you have a Quarter Pounder in your hand :laugh: It's hard but you have to let her be. I am a pretty clean eater, I do know what being obese versus being healthy feels like and I do know they could have a healthier and far more productive life if they would make the change BUT I cannot force anyone to do something they are not willing to do. If someone had told me I was unhealthy and fat it would have drove me to eat more, not less. It sucks that obesity is driving up our healthcare costs and trust me on this, nothing pisses me off more than people who are sick because of their own bad habits! That said, I find that if I step back and let that person know I'm there if they need me, they are more likely to come to me for help when they're serious about changing.

ravjim

We cannot change others...we can only change ourselves. Perhaps one of the things missing is a friendly word, kind act, or benefit of the doubt. Sometimes we can change the world, but the world that we must always keep in mind is the one within ourselves. To focus upon others gives our strength away to others.

Be strong within yourself, if that is not an inspiration to others, it at least true to you.

EDesq

This may sound mean but here it goes I HAVE to get this off my chest. There is a woman that sits in the cubicle next to mine. She is severely overweight maybe about 350 lbs and 5'3. Now I would never say mean things about people that are over weight but I cant help but be bothered by her eating habits. Im with her from 9-5 and here is something like how her time her might go:

Breakfast: Soda and McDonalds or burger king
Snack: Chips and another soda
Lunch: McDonalds, burger king, Wendy’s, or other fast foods
Snack: soda, donuts, candy, chocolate, chips

Now. I’m am not a clean eater at all and I am not judging by her eating habits but I find it very discouraging being around this. I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating so carelessly. Another thing is that she is always out sick, which I can attribute to her weight. I know its not my place to say anything however I’m really bothered and I really want to help out. But don’t want to offend her. What would you do?

Yes, YOU are judging her; and you are arrogant because YOU think YOU have the "Magic Bullet" that will make her better.
Do this: When she is out or away from her desk, (Do Research and place literature about SEVERAL Wt Loss Options on her Desk, ie, Weight Loss Surgery (RNY, Lap Band and give websites), MFP...AFTER THAT - LEAVE HER ALONE! DO NOT talk about her to your "Friends" at work anymore because INDEED, That is MEAN and DESPICABLE!

FrugalMomsRock75

Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.

Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!

I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.

Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.

You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!

Good Day People!

Ask yourself: "if my coworker saw my original post in this thread, would her feelings be hurt?" I'd be willing to bet it's a resounding YES!!!! That does make it kind of mean...

jaimrlx

Starting a post with 'I hate to sound mean but.......' is probably not the best delivery for this. I have SO many people at my work like her... I think it's very encouraging. Just like she needs to have her own urge to change her lifestyle, you need to be strong and not be influenced or discouraged by her incessant fattiness. Honestly, take that disgust for watching obese people shoving food into their gullet with a grain of salt and realize that you've moved on from anything close to that! You're doing great just by being here, you're making a change... she isn't. Instead of saying something to her, why not indirectly show her what it's like to be healthy! I feel your pain in wanting to help her, but those kinds of people will never move forward if they don't want to.


Just to vent along with you.. I have a woman in my cube row who can eat an entire stuffed crust pizza, a beef and cheddar from Arby's and a bag of taco bell in one day. Just be glad it isn't you! :drinker:

breakingthecyclept2

Im deleting my post, she is only 22 years old.

Some of these responses are just plain harsh.

With age comes wisdom.

Wonderob

I don't think some of the people are being fair on the OP - she may genuinely want to help her.

I wonder if it would be different if she was taking drugs are was drinking too much. I'd want to help

I'd be inclined to say something lighthearted and empathetic like "Oh McDonalds are so hard to resist aren't they - the only way I could stop was to cut them out completely" and see what she says. If she says "Yeah Ive been meaning to cut down" you have an opening

If she says "I dont want to stop as I love 'em so much" then never bring it up again

clarajean123

That is tough one! Your co-worker probably knows the situation better than you, but she's going through some rough time, or she wouldn't be eating like that. You might try just being a friend to her. A helpful ear with sincere interest can make a big difference sometimes! If that is to much to handle; then you have back off: smile:

I had a co-worker who would offer me some fruit at lunch time. At the time, I didn't take it. My peanut butter cups held more interest at the time, but I DID NOT FORGET HER PLEASANT ATTITUDE AND KIND GENEROUSITY!

natvanessa

I have another thought. I compare this to people that smoke. I used to be a heavy smoker myself and I KNEW it was bad. I would be annoyed when endless people would tell me it's not good for me. DUH!! But I chose to keep smoking.

Yes, I quit at one point but it was not because someone told me it was bad. I realized I wanted to quit one day and did.

Overeating is kindof the same thing. Leave her alone and worry about yourself.

supplemama

Really, there is nothing you can do. If she wants to eat herself into an early grave, well, sad as it is it IS her right to do so.

All you can do is work on yourself and mind your own business, you know?

BigBrewski

I suggest you use it as motivation, you don't want to be like that and as far as "trying" to change it as every one here said nobody makes a change until they "want" to change. When I was 340lbs I didn't think I was that big until I stepped on the scale. In any case it wouldn't have mattered if anyone said anything to me about my weight I would have just replied that it is my life. Maybe she will see your progress and "ask" you about how your losing weight that will be the time to bring up eating habits. But until she asks I personally would just use it as motiviation to keep myself on TRACK with my goals.

WifeNMama

This question is what I like to call "an inside thought"

dianacannon89

I use people like that as motivation. If you are thin I cant tell by your picture or not but I wouldnt say anything to her. If it were me in I would say something to her bc I HAVE been there I understand why shes eating all that **** and I can tell her there is a better way she will take it much better from an obese person then a thin person or so Ive seen

tyoung8

Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.

Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!

I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.

Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.

You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!

Good Day People!

You should march right up to her, grab whatever she's eating out of her hand, toss it in the trash and say, "Time to get a grip, fatty. I'm putting you on a diet to save your life! Your eating habits make me want to vomit."

Let us know how that goes.

Lmao! This is hilarious!

waffleflavoredtea

I would say do nothing. People are going to do what they want to do. If someone suggested to me to change my eating habits before I was ready to, I would not have listened and I would have been very pissed off. It is up to her to change, not up to you to change her. At one point, people would have looked at my food choices and been repulsed as well. Thankfully no one said anything. People have to want to change.

^this. maybe having a job is very important for her/her family, so she might not decide to change her eating habits until she's less stressed. For a lot of people, junk food is a vice. Either way it's unhealthy, but either way most people have unhealthy emotional or tangible vices that are unhealthy to cope with their responsibilities and stresses.

tyoung8

Also,

I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!

cmcmommy

Can't help them that don't want to help themselves

Hearts_2015

I hate to sound mean but.....This may sound mean but

Now I would never say mean things about people that are over weight but

Now. I’m am not a clean eater at all and I am not judging by her eating habits but

I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating

I know its not my place to say anything however

What would you do?

This is what your post said to many of us. Once a qualifier is used...... it doesn't excuse the words/thoughts after.

You came on the boards hoping we'd all agree and it didn't turn out that way. I think you know in your heart thinking this is one thing, thinking and speaking it out loud for opinions and degrading her and others like her is another.

What would I do? I would have considered the site I was posting this on. I'd also would hope no one judged me so harshly when I was at my heaviest or I likely wouldn't have made it to MFP. :brokenheart:

sculley

I personally would bring an extra snack or something and offer it to her. and do that once every so often maybe she find something through you that she ends up liking.

missymuffet459

There is really not much you can say or do. She has to WANT to change for HERSELF. I think it is very sad actually. I can't say that I have ever weighed that much but I can say that I am totally guilty of going a long period of time without drinking any water, eating out every meal, no fruits/veggies, etc. That is why I am here today.

Maybe the best thing you can do is to lead by example. She may take notice to any positive changes you have made and be inspired and motivated to make the necessary changes.

Edited to add: Maybe you can ask her to go on short walks with you on your breaks.

Krissy366

Is there no way to put it a polite way? Hmmmm... it's a thinker.

At the same time, what would be the difference of someone eating at a very unhealthy rate, and who is at an unhealthy weight range, and then someone standing on the side of a building ready to jump?

Would all those people who said "leave them be it's their problem, etc".. say the same thing to the possible jumper on the side of the building?

I think if there were a jumper on the side of my building I would pray that there was a "professional" on the scene to talk to them, as saying the wrong thing can have the opposite effect as what you are hoping for. Which is the same for what the co-worker is talking about. Her words could have the opposite impact of what she's hoping for. That's how the situations are the same. How they are different is the jumper scenario has an immediate risk of fatality - so if I were the only option (and I would hope I wasn't), I would do my best to keep the person on that ledge for as long as was necessary to get them off that ledge in the right way. But at no point would I find the jumper's behavior "repulsive" or some other judgemental term while claiming to "only want to help them".

odusgolp

Also,

I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!

Nice defense mechanism :flowerforyou:

AimersBee

To the OP.. there are a lot of sheeple in the world.. it is expected to get responses such as some of the ones you have received. I have no doubt you'd like to help your coworker, I would want to do the same. It's just the question is, how to put it across.. like my prior post on here, would you let someone on the edge of a building jump? No.. so why is this any different?