Need Advice- My daughter needs to lose weight!

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  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    Another idea could be giving her a ticket system, and for every hour of activity she gets a ticket. If she gets 5 tickets in a week, she gets to choose something fun to do, like going to a movie or the mall.
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
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    My older kids are 7 and 8. My son is a little overweight (about 8 lbs. but on an 8 yr old, that's over 10% of his body weight).

    All I've been doing for my son is reducing his food intake (he eats mostly healthily, just too much volume) and increasing activity. For the activity portion, since I'm getting in shape, are fairly easy. I take them to the park. We go for walks in the park. We go for bike rides in the park. I can see where that would be more difficult with a 16 yr old though. My kids CAN'T stay home alone LOL.

    Have you considered limiting her screen time and having her earn it with activity? Something like 'hey, come for a bike ride with me and you can earn equal time on the computer'.
  • AimersBee
    AimersBee Posts: 775 Member
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    Physical activity is definitely going to be preferred, but it's not necessary for losing weight.

    Buy/prepare less food. If she's not overeating, she's going to lose weight.

    Agreed, healthier food in the home.. get rid of all the junk.. (although she is at an age where she could buy food that isn't the healthiest).. at least it would lower the not-so-healthy food significantly..
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    First is to really stress the health aspect. Then make her do things with you -- swim, hike, stuff that doesn't eeem like formal exercise.

    I totally feel your pain and was in the same boat. My daughter finally took control when SHE was ready. I made sure she had the tools and she's taken it from there. She's lost 20 pounds.
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    continue cooking her healthy meals, get rid of the junk in the house and replace it with healthy snacks, and lead by example. She needs to make the decision herself, really.
    This is so important! She won't do it unless she wants to. It is her choice & her responsibility.
    My parents tried to make me lose weight and it made the whole problem worse for many years. You can only do it for yourself & cheer her on when she decides for herself!!
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
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    At 16, there's not much you can do. Really. You need to lead by example. Make healthy food choices, don't bring junk into the house. Ask her to join you for a walk, or go to the gym for a yoga class or something. But if she won't exercise, then the food calories need to be cut. No cakes, no cookies, no chips. Lots of fruit and veggies. Salads as sides for meals. I'm assuming you control the food in the house.
  • jwilson2001
    jwilson2001 Posts: 80 Member
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    Agree with some of the others - get the junk food out of the house and since you are probably preparing the food, she should be eating healthier. That is a start. Then, make the exercise fun using games...the wii is really great.
  • Wonderwoman2677
    Wonderwoman2677 Posts: 434 Member
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    tough love... nobody said parenting would be easy. Take the PC and phone away and let those be her motivators. If she's not going to take care of business (diet and exercise) she doesn't deserve the perks. I do that with my own kids for chores, etc... why not this most important aspect of her life? Give her an hour of PC time for an hour of exercise.

    You don't have to give her a complex to be very truthful about her HEALTH. Don't make it just about her weight. Tell her it's time to change and that even though it may be late, you're realizing that she has not learned some healthy habits. I am going through the same thing with my daughter (13). Luckily she does like sports but in the off season I see her weight start to creep back up.

    Be her #1 role model. If you don't want her to eat certain things don't have them in the house. Let her see you exercising.

    Good luck!
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    There are a lot of physically active video games if she has any systems, you could get her a bike if she doesn't have one, walk the mall together once or twice a week for an hour and just window shop along the way. I also second having her get a job of some sort even if it's part time. It's 4 hours she's off her butt doing something and it'll look great on a resume or, if she chooses to volunteer like at a soup kitchen, it can look good on a college application. You can try doing things together but that depends on how close you two are right now.

    Really it just comes down to if she wants to. If she knows she's not a healthy weight or leading a healthy lifestyle and is too lazy or doesn't really care, you can't do much for her. She's old enough to figure things out on her own.
  • hooperkay
    hooperkay Posts: 463 Member
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    Mother of 4 teens here.

    1. Don't buy any snack food.
    2. Don't tell her to diet. She won't.
    3. Remove computer, cellphone, all means of internet from her possession. Give it to her for like 1-2 hours a day.

    She will get up and get out of house. Maybe she'll walk the neighborhood with her friends instead of texting. If she still won't get out, then give her house chores to get exercise. Your not being mean, your being a good mom (not friend). :)
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    Book a badminton court for you and her to have a knock around. Ask her to invite a couple of friends for a game of doubles. Even if they just have a laugh, it's a start, she might like it

    Bowling - more active than sat on the PC, fun for you and her too

    Swimming is usually fun, have a splash about with her in the pool

    Has she a bike? "Don't plan anything for Saturday morning, we're going for a bike ride"

    Ok here's a bold one! Ask if she would like a puppy - how could she refuse! Stipulate that it will need walking twice a day!

    Most involve a lot of effort (and expense) from you though, but you knew it wouldn't be easy - and think of the great rewards! Good luck
  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
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    First and foremost, lead by example. Cook healthy meals and keep the junk out of the house. If she doesn't have the option to eat crap, she won't. Losing weight is 80% diet.

    As far as exercise goes, I would suggest limiting the time she spends on the computer per day. Do you have a dog? Can you make it mandatory that the dog gets two half-hour walks per day in exchange for an hour of computer time? Or make an evening walk after dinner part of your family routine.

    Try to schedule family activities that are not food related (but also not a typical workout). Go mini-golfing or bowling. Plan a picnic and bring healthy food and go to a location that you have to walk to. Go to the zoo. Make it her chore to vacuum the house.

    She's at an uncomfortable age for this. Don't talk about exercise, just find subtle ways to make her move more and keep the options of bad food out of the house.
  • Jewcybabe
    Jewcybabe Posts: 241 Member
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    The biggest battle is won in the kitchen. Perhaps initially concentrate on making healthy filling nutrient-rich meals and snacks. Incorporating fun outdoor activities that your entire family can enjoy is one way to disguise exercise.
  • KrissyG83
    KrissyG83 Posts: 13 Member
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    I agree with the above poster's suggestion about sports! Also, force her into the gym with you! She might be resisting now because she doesn't think she'll enjoy working out BUT maybe if you take her with you might learn that she likes it!

    Dont ever force a teenage girl into a gym!! Well unless you want her to become even larger and more unhappy! Encouragement and asking her to help you by working out together works better. Teenagers have enough negative people around them. Remember she has to do it for herself by forcing her you are only going to hurt her. YOU ARE SAFE PLACE! Good luck I hope it goes well and you both lose the weight.
  • rcc1988
    rcc1988 Posts: 125 Member
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    Take her on walks! Maybe on weekend or after school some days, go on hikes together and chat.
  • Pammy1017
    Pammy1017 Posts: 7
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    16 is such a tough age. I would get her to a yoga class. After one class, she will feel so good. Besides the fact that it is sooo good for your mind and body, it can also be "mother-daughter" time for you guys.

    You are her role model. Get started with the yoga and get her involved.
  • NNAhuja
    NNAhuja Posts: 669 Member
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    I've been overweight my whole life. Basically she's not going to do it until SHE'S ready. You can want it for her BADLY but she isn't going to be committed to it until she's ready to make the changes herself. Just be patient =]
  • GauchoMark
    GauchoMark Posts: 1,804 Member
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    People have to decide to lose weight on their own. Otherwise, it will fail.

    My suggestion:
    - Be a role model. Don't tell her what she should do, show her.
    - Since she is 16 and living with you, control the food available by fixing healthier meals and not replacing junk/snack foods.
    - Get your family active. Find something that you all like to do that burns calories. Walking the dog, bike riding, kayaking, etc. Fill your free time with active things so you don't get bored and watch TV, surf, and play video games.

    Bottom line, though, is if she doesn't want to change, there is nothing you can say or do.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    Take her window shopping...and then walk the whole darn mall back and forth 4 times...that'll burn a lot and she won't even notice...and stopping occassionally to try on clothes that would just fit a TAD better should she work on some body definition, may give her the kick in the pants she needs.
  • GabrielleZelda
    GabrielleZelda Posts: 190 Member
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    This is a very difficult situation.

    When my mother wanted me to lose weight, she would often work out by my side to motivate me, even if she has been 120 pounds her entire life. She even brought me to a women's only gym so I could feel comfortable enough to work out :).

    It was an AMAZING thing she did for me and if ever I was in that situation I would do the same thing because it really, really worked.

    Maybe seeing you lose weight will motivate her? I assume that you prepare most of the food in the house - if this is the case, get RID of all the junk and replace them with healthy options. She can't snack on junk if it's not around, and maybe she'll learn to love whole, clean foods. This would be a good start, exercise will come later, hopefully! :)

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