Need Advice- My daughter needs to lose weight!

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  • dancinrascal
    dancinrascal Posts: 204 Member
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    maybe you can try to get her and her friends to sign up for an active activity together like dance or a sport, that way they will be doing it together and it will seem less like a work out. even if they just walk around the neighborhood together to chat, or maybe u could suggest her riding her bike to school?
  • sarapumpkin
    sarapumpkin Posts: 11
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    Don't nit-pick or nag her! Tell her YOU need her help to lose weight, tell her you feel funny going to the gym or wherever alone. Ask her to help you, if she says you are just trying to get her to lose weight, tell her she's young and has a great metabolism, she could take it off no problem, but you are older and need help!
  • Jezebel9
    Jezebel9 Posts: 396 Member
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    Praise and reward positive behavior. Limit access to negative factors: television, video games, computer etc.
    Good luck:flowerforyou:
    Thanks for being a good mom.:heart:
  • kittyhasclaws
    kittyhasclaws Posts: 446 Member
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    I know I saw at least one other person say it, but dance games are AWESOME. I have a bunch for the Wii, and you can have up to four players on, so she and her friends can play together and you get a good sweat up! Have lots of fruits and veggies available for after a good session of play.
  • high5girl
    high5girl Posts: 90 Member
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    Everyone is going to have different opinions on this but as an overweight child here are some things I wish my mother did.

    Stop filling our house with junk food - instead stock it full of healthy snacks. If she won't exercise at least she will eat right.

    Moderate her online time - we didn't have the internet growing up but we did have Nintendo and it's along the same lines. I would sit in front of that thing for hours upon hours. I think 2 hours max of media time is enough (online, games, TV - period)

    She will also emulate what you do. If you are healthy/active make good eating habits and workout she will pick that up and use it when she's older.

    Just a few ideas :) Good luck!
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
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    My 14 year old too. I can't get her up off her butt. I have an exercise bike in the bedroom, and I told her that I'd like to see her doing at least 30 minutes a day on that (considering I signed a waiver for school that says I'll make sure she gets her exercise since she's taking band and can't take P.E.). She does it once in a blue moon, if I hound her... I took her to boot camp at my church, and she did work her butt off... but ended up throwing up (I think a combination of the workout and the heat). She refuses to go back. I am at a loss too... I've paid for a year at the gym for her. She used it and did really well for about the first three months.... hasn't been back since.
  • KrystieNye
    KrystieNye Posts: 123 Member
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    continue cooking her healthy meals, get rid of the junk in the house and replace it with healthy snacks, and lead by example. She needs to make the decision herself, really.

    ^^^This. She isn't going to excercise until she is ready. The best thing you can do for her is to make sure your house is filled with healthy foods, and to set a good example for her by working out and eating right yourself. Maybe you could limit her computer time....she can't sit at the computer all day if she's only allowed to use it for an hour a day!
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 841 Member
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    Limit her computer/texting time. I limited my kids' tv watching (we didn't have to worry about computers/texting back then!). I also made them participate in at least one physical activity of their choosing. Then I supported the heck out of whatever they chose! You can also do family or mother/daugher activities (non-optional!) such as hiking, biking, etc., so she can get out and experience these activities with you and spend time with you. As others have advised, keep the house junk-food free and provide healthy meals and snacks.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
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    maybe an active video game system like the wii - they have tons of active games and most kids (and my husband) love them. If her friends play too thats a bonus (like come over and play with her).
  • mommyhof3
    mommyhof3 Posts: 551 Member
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    Mother of 4 teens here.

    1. Don't buy any snack food.
    2. Don't tell her to diet. She won't.
    3. Remove computer, cellphone, all means of internet from her possession. Give it to her for like 1-2 hours a day.

    She will get up and get out of house. Maybe she'll walk the neighborhood with her friends instead of texting. If she still won't get out, then give her house chores to get exercise. Your not being mean, your being a good mom (not friend). :)

    I do this to my kids. Not because they are overweight but because they would spend their lives in front of the tv or computer. I have a password on the computer so only my husband and I can log into it. They get tv until we get home from work then the tv is off. I give them the option of cleaning (usually bathrooms on a nice day) or going outside. Win win situation for me. They go out and I get peace and quiet or I get a clean bathroom etc
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
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    Having a car to drive, a phone to text on, and extra money to spend is a privilege... Not a right. Privileges have to be earned.
  • Mindarin
    Mindarin Posts: 93 Member
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    You know...it totally depends on her personality. When I was sixteen, I got shoved into the world of basketball, which is super competitive. But it woke me up. I am super competitive as well, but I was super overweight and just couldn't compete! That made me really angry, and I decided it was worth the pain, the sweat, and the hunger. It was enough. I refuse to continue to be overweight and arrive at the end of the court already out of breath!

    That's when things started getting better. :)

    However, it was really tough, and if your daughter isn't competitive, isn't interested in sports, or really sweating in general, then you may just have to wait for her to get her own nasty wake up call and be willing to change on her own.
  • milthom
    milthom Posts: 6
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    OK, I have a much different approach for you. This is what finally got ME motivated.

    First, forget about dieting for her all together. Just ask her to do two things for 30 days and one these two things. Ask her to log every single thing she puts in her mouth and how many calories it is (MFP is perfect for this). That was the only commitment I made. But she has to do it very religiously and very honestly.

    Once I saw how many calories I was really putting in my body, I instinctively started making better choices.

    Second. Both of you get a pedometer. They are cheap. Every single night, compare how many steps you each took. This is another great way to become aware of how much (or how little) exercise you are actually getting. When you are truly aware, it is much harder to ignore.
  • pennyrtyler
    pennyrtyler Posts: 79 Member
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    I'm wondering if she feels bad about being overweight. She might be embarrassed about going to the gym, since her doctor said she needs to lose weight. You know how teenagers hate to stand out. Maybe you could try taking her to the gym early on a Saturday morning. Don't ask her to go work out. Just ask her to go with you because nobody else is there early Saturday morning, and you would like the company (or any other time no one is there).
  • chrystee
    chrystee Posts: 295 Member
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    Get together with her and work out together.
    Cut the internet at home.
  • pennyrtyler
    pennyrtyler Posts: 79 Member
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    OK, I have a much different approach for you. This is what finally got ME motivated.

    First, forget about dieting for her all together. Just ask her to do two things for 30 days and one these two things. Ask her to log every single thing she puts in her mouth and how many calories it is (MFP is perfect for this). That was the only commitment I made. But she has to do it very religiously and very honestly.

    Once I saw how many calories I was really putting in my body, I instinctively started making better choices.

    Second. Both of you get a pedometer. They are cheap. Every single night, compare how many steps you each took. This is another great way to become aware of how much (or how little) exercise you are actually getting. When you are truly aware, it is much harder to ignore.

    I LOVE that idea!
  • chrystee
    chrystee Posts: 295 Member
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    Limit her computer/texting time. I limited my kids' tv watching (we didn't have to worry about computers/texting back then!). I also made them participate in at least one physical activity of their choosing. Then I supported the heck out of whatever they chose! You can also do family or mother/daugher activities (non-optional!) such as hiking, biking, etc., so she can get out and experience these activities with you and spend time with you. As others have advised, keep the house junk-food free and provide healthy meals and snacks.

    yep, my son has to do some sport. I don't care what he wants to do, but he already does soccer. he wants to try baseball next year. Don't make it a choice.
  • rmrpender
    rmrpender Posts: 16
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    Try to include her friends in her activity. Encourage her to invite her friends to go out walking, biking, etc. If you go to a gym, let her take a friend as a guest occasionally.

    Limit TV and computer time. We had a period during the day that our kids could not use electronics. If they wanted to listen to their ipod or watch a tv show, they had to be doing some sort of activity doing so, whether it was using hand weights, dancing, walking, the stationary bike, etc.

    Since it's summer, how about a day camp or volunteering to be a counselor at a kid's camp? Swimming lessons? Or just inviting friends to swim or even run through the sprinkler and run around with water guns?

    I have also learned that until your teen is motivated to make changes, it will be a battle so you need to be careful not to stress too much about her weight - it's hard, but you don't want to make her feel that she is defined by her weight. Also, when she starts making progress, go shopping for a new pair of shorts, tank, or workout stuff.

    I do like the idea of earning tickets for additional computer or tv time.

    Best of luck - I've been through this twice with my two kids and it takes a lot of creativity and patience
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
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    You control the food in the house, so led by example: cook healthy meals and don't keep any junk food in the house.
    I'm aware that she could go out and buy it herself, but at least you're reducing the amount of it that she gets to eat.

    I don't know how you'd get her to stop being on the computer all the time. You are the parent and have control over how long she's on the computer, but it sounds like you've never limited the time she could be on there, so it'll be tough when you first begin to do it.

    Best of luck to you and your daughter :)
  • carld256
    carld256 Posts: 855 Member
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    Everyone is going to have different opinions on this but as an overweight child here are some things I wish my mother did.

    Stop filling our house with junk food - instead stock it full of healthy snacks. If she won't exercise at least she will eat right.

    Yep. Our house wasn't filled with junk, but it was always around if you wanted it. My parents had a bad habit of using junk food as a reward or punishment. No wonder I grew up with such a twisted relationship with food. :laugh:

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