Corn used my man-parts as a speedbag.

futuremalestripper

If you use low-carb buttwash the entire process goes faster.

Wait, wouldn't that be water?

But I guarantee, add in some fats (codliver oil anyone?) and things will go a LOT faster.

I wonder how many calories are in a jar of petroleum jelly?

Dave198lbs

why is it so cool to not agree with clean eating? you guys who have gotten to a good weight suddelny act like your approach is the only way. you act like trying to eat clean is silly and what not. get over yourselves.

Why is it so cool for you to constantly have an attitude with people who are genuinely helping others?

I guess we disagree with what is "genuinely helping others"

you have had success with your method

good for you. but your goals are not the same as most people here as far as I can tell.

you are offering good advice usually, but dont get the idea that you have all the answers. no one does.

Sidesteal

why is it so cool to not agree with clean eating? you guys who have gotten to a good weight suddelny act like your approach is the only way. you act like trying to eat clean is silly and what not. get over yourselves.

Why is it so cool for you to constantly have an attitude with people who are genuinely helping others?

I guess we disagree with what is "genuinely helping others"

you have had success with your method

good for you. but your goals are not the same as most people here as far as I can tell.

you are offering good advice usually, but dont get the idea that you have all the answers. no one does.

Of course I'm not always right. I'd never make that claim.

But, instead of making generalizations, how about if you find when and where I am wrong, and call me on it, so we can discuss?

I welcome that. Much more than your current method.

_VoV

Very good advice! I do think it's about the calorie deficit.

My only add on would be to avoid eating specific 'trigger foods' that once you start eating, you can't stop eating. This advice, of course, only applies to people who have this problem, and isn't universal.

ImKindOfABigDeal40

Now that I have your attention -

Every so often I'll make one of these random bits of info. How about now.


You don't need to eat clean.
You don't need to avoid white bread or potatoes or beans or rice or _____________ (insert food here) unless you've got an intolerance/allergy/medical condition.
You don't need to eat breakfast to get your metabolism started.
You probably don't need to pay any attention to GI.
Your metabolism doesn't get kick-started and you don't rev it up.
Eating frequently is fine but it doesn't "boost your metabolism".
Don't waste your money on Raspberry Keytones and you should probably turn off Dr. Oz.
You are not toning.
You will not bulk up, ladies.
You also don't "gain muscle really easily". Yes, YOU.
Low carbing is not dangerous.
Low carbing is not metabolically superior.
You can eat food before bed.
You can eat food IN bed.
There is no specific time at which eating will cause you to gain fat.
The little pink dumbbells do not constitute "lifting weights".
That glass of blended up "juice" that you're replacing your meals with, probably isn't "cleansing" any "toxins".
"Hot Pants" don't make you lose fat, although they may make your wallet lighter.
You don't need to burn off that bowl of cereal or piece of chicken.
You don't need to worry about whether you're burning carbs or fat.
You don't need to worry about how much fat you burned during your workout, or how much muscle you gained during that set of bosu-ball dumbbell flies.
You don't "shock your body"
You don't "confuse your mucles"
Stop switching up your lifting program. How about stick to something and add weight to the bar.
Just because you saw it in a documentary doesn't mean it's a good idea or even remotely research-based.
You don't need to zig-zag or carb cycle or do the 17 day butt wash or the cabbage donkey stew diet.
2 weeks is not a plateau.
.
.
.
.
.
Start here:
1) Eat within a reasonable caloric intake for your goals.
2) Consume adequate protein and fat.
3) Consume at least enough carbs to allow you to train with intensity.

(And can you just use some common sense with food selection?)

4) Lift weights
5) Get rest.
6) Repeat
7) And quit worrying about all the other crap.



Be patient.

Thank you! God I wish I would have wrote this.

composerclark

Best post I have read on MFP! :drinker:

Somebody asked, many pages ago, what raspberry ketone is; you can look it up on Wikipedia to get more info, but here's an excerpt that pertains to weight loss (which backs up what the original poster said about it):

"When given to mice in very high doses (up to 2% of body weight), raspberry ketone has been shown to prevent high-fat-diet-induced elevations in body weight. However, no effects on body weight were observed with doses up to 200 times greater than the estimated intake in humans. The high dose effect is reported to stem from the alteration of lipid metabolism, increasing norepinephrine-induced lipolysis. Although products containing this compound are marketed for weight loss, there is no clinical evidence for this effect in humans."

Dave198lbs

why is it so cool to not agree with clean eating? you guys who have gotten to a good weight suddelny act like your approach is the only way. you act like trying to eat clean is silly and what not. get over yourselves.

Why is it so cool for you to constantly have an attitude with people who are genuinely helping others?

I guess we disagree with what is "genuinely helping others"

you have had success with your method

good for you. but your goals are not the same as most people here as far as I can tell.

you are offering good advice usually, but dont get the idea that you have all the answers. no one does.

Of course I'm not always right. I'd never make that claim.

But, instead of making generalizations, how about if you find when and where I am wrong, and call me on it, so we can discuss?

I welcome that. Much more than your current method.

dude..come on...you don t deny making fun of clean eating and low carb do you? I respect the majority of your advice and guidence, But dissing a no grain or low grain or low carb approach seems contrived. if I am misreading you, sorry...but you are consistent with your anti low carb

nicehormones

Dang. I was thinking about doing the 17 day butt wash because I am overflowing with so many toxins I might die.

Lmao.

wolfi622

Do I believe that clean (my definition is roughly yours...wonder of wonder...two of us agree!) eating is in general the better choice? Sure I do. Do I believe that consuming processed foods is going to give me cancer, rot my body from the inside out, and make me fat?

I'm sorry, no...I don't.

songbyrdsweet

If you use low-carb buttwash the entire process goes faster.

Wait, wouldn't that be water?

But I guarantee, add in some fats (codliver oil anyone?) and things will go a LOT faster.

I wonder how many calories are in a jar of petroleum jelly?

Can you soak them in through your skin?



har har har

Sidesteal

dude..come on...you don t deny making fun of clean eating and low carb do you?

I make fun of tons of things and I troll regularly on the boards in addition to providing people with what I think is good information. If you can find me an example of being rude to someone about their eating habits, or me being "anti low carb", please do.

(I probably HAVE been a bit rude to people in Taubes threads, but I'd have to go back and check).

I am anti-BS. If someone wants to eliminate cucumbers from their diet because they think cucumbers will make them fat, I don't care. I applaud them, go right ahead. But if they make a post saying "I'm eliminating cucumbers because they will make people fat" then I'm going to post something stating why I don't agree with it because other people deserve not to be mislead.

Low carbing is a viable tool for some people. Carbs are also the least important macronutrient and often times it's the first to go, but it's critically important that people understand that the carbs themselves aren't causing fat gain much in the same way that it's important that people don't fear white bread or corn out of something irrational.

knapowell

Love this post!

Reptileszz

This is the most rocking post ever! Everyone should take it to heart!

slcostel

Have I told you lately that I love you?

chuckyp

Goddamn it and I just made a 3 gallon pot of cabbage donkey stew.

tigersword

why is it so cool to not agree with clean eating? you guys who have gotten to a good weight suddelny act like your approach is the only way. you act like trying to eat clean is silly and what not. get over yourselves.

Why is it so cool for you to constantly have an attitude with people who are genuinely helping others?

I guess we disagree with what is "genuinely helping others"

you have had success with your method

good for you. but your goals are not the same as most people here as far as I can tell.

you are offering good advice usually, but dont get the idea that you have all the answers. no one does.

Of course I'm not always right. I'd never make that claim.

But, instead of making generalizations, how about if you find when and where I am wrong, and call me on it, so we can discuss?

I welcome that. Much more than your current method.

dude..come on...you don t deny making fun of clean eating and low carb do you? I respect the majority of your advice and guidence, But dissing a no grain or low grain or low carb approach seems contrived. if I am misreading you, sorry...but you are consistent with your anti low carb

Saying low carb or clean eating aren't necessary is not the same thing as dissing them. It's an option, it's no more necessary than eating low fat, or eating the Mediterranean diet, or the Okinawan diet, or paleo, or any other method of eating. The key to losing weight is calorie deficit, the specific method that an individual uses to create that calorie deficit is 100% personal preference, based on their specific needs/wants.

crisanderson27

By the way, I'd like to bring up my current favorite webpage on the planet to add to this lovely discussion:

http://www.leangains.com/2011/09/fu*karounditis.html

Replace the * with a c and you're good to go.

happypath101

"Be patient" is the crucial part. And forgive yourself. Go at it again. :O)

Liasings

Mr. OP, I am contacting you on behalf of all hardworking people who provide cabbages and donkeys for stewing purposes. Please cease and desist all claims that consumption of our product is anything other than the healthiest option available to a beleagured populace forced to subsist on Big Macs and Twinkies. If everyone would just partake of out delicious stew (and wash it down with our fine Kool-Aid), they would be happier, healthier and their hair would be shiny and manageable. Thank you for your cooperation.

:drinker:

nursenelson

Oh my I need to bump this so I can read over and over and over
Thank u so much
Please be my mfp friend
Heather