Does anyone else NOT want kids?

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  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    I have to say that "it is your choice" BUT being a parent of 20 year old twins boy/girl, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I always told myself that I was lucky my mom/dad put me on this world and I got the opportunity to experience life. If your parents didn't want you than you wouldn't exist...so to me It is only natural to want to have a part of me enjoying what I got to enjoy which is life. Am I broke most of the time, YES...do I go without so my children have it all, YES... Does my heart stop beating when they are hurting, YES...Does my life feel complete and full when I hear their laughter, joy and see their accomplishments, YES... Being a parent is Priceless and being a parent doesn't stop EVER!!! So if you truly feel that you can't love someone that strongly or put yourself behind someone than you aren't ready to be a parent. Being a parent takes LOVE!!!

    Really? People with this attitude are insulting to people who are CHILD FREE BY CHOICE. It isn't that I can't love. It isn't that I feel unprepared. It isn't that I am not grateful for my life. Some of us just choose not to reproduce. I refuse to accept that my main purpose in life is to make more humans. There is more to my life than that.

    I experience love with my friends, family, and husband. I take on responsibility in my pets. I can pass my knowledge to my students. I can be remembered by making a difference with my research. Children can also provide these things, but they are not necessary.
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    Well vasectomies take a while to 'kick in' and the tubes can grow back together. Lost of people just don't wait long enough. Just like lots of people use the pill incorrectly and then say they got preggers on it. Sure there's a 1% possibility if you use it 100% correctly, but the vast majority of oopses are due to incorrect use or antibiotics.
    I'll never forget my urologist, a funny old Korean Army veteran named "Doctor Wong",,,

    "Remember - you no safe yet. You do what you gotta, e-jack-you-rate 16 times. You bring me number 17 in this cup and I check. Only then you safe" :laugh:

    Yup,,, Doctor Wong fixed me dong. Hehehe,,,

    Once the surgery is healed and the system is "flushed" and a clean sperm count of Zero is found, Vasectomy is about 99.999999% safe.
  • Nichole1981
    Nichole1981 Posts: 65 Member
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    I'm 30.....still on the fence. I love my nephews but my husband and I are still unsure if having kids is the right choice for us.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    Well vasectomies take a while to 'kick in' and the tubes can grow back together. Lost of people just don't wait long enough. Just like lots of people use the pill incorrectly and then say they got preggers on it. Sure there's a 1% possibility if you use it 100% correctly, but the vast majority of oopses are due to incorrect use or antibiotics.
    I'll never forget my urologist, a funny old Korean Army veteran named "Doctor Wong",,,

    "Remember - you no safe yet. You do what you gotta, e-jack-you-rate 16 times. You bring me number 17 in this cup and I check. Only then you safe" :laugh:

    Yup,,, Doctor Wong fixed me dong. Hehehe,,,

    Once the surgery is healed and the system is "flushed" and a clean sperm count of Zero is found, Vasectomy is about 99.999999% safe.

    LOL ejackyourate :laugh:
  • _TWLOHA_
    _TWLOHA_ Posts: 26
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    I'm 20 and as of right now. I NEVER want children. I can't ever see myself with kids.
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 572 Member
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    I love (most) kids. I have one. We are done.

    So I constantly get the "when are you having another?" "You can't just have one, that's not fair to him!"

    How is it not fair? He has friends he's grown up with since birth, cousins that he loves, classmates at daycare.. a large church family with tons of kids to interact with.. but at the end of the day, I don't lose my mind running after 2 or more children!

    We're young too. I'm 28, husband is 31. So people just assume we're going to continue to spit out kids.. nope, doesn't always work that way!

    THIS! I just found out I am pregnant, and I was an only child. I want to have one child, and that's it.
  • DollyMiel
    DollyMiel Posts: 377 Member
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    I'm childfree. You are definitely not alone.

    Don't let anyone get into your reproductive/sexual business; that's your info to know and yours alone. People are so damn nosy about other people having kids. If you want kids and can't have them for some reason, people will butt in. If you don't want kids, people will butt in. If you have kids, sometimes people still butt in telling you to have more/stop having them. It's just like, it's none of your damn business!

    And I too am tired of the notion that one can only be truly happy with children. Maybe some people have to be completed by their kids, or their spouses, or their careers. But I am complete and happy on my own. Get out of everyone else's lives and live your own in the way that makes you happy. That's all.
  • byrnet18
    byrnet18 Posts: 230 Member
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    I am 28 and my husband and I are high school sweethearts so we've been together 11 years, married for 3. We both are pretty sure we don't want kids. I would say about 75% sure anyway. I get it from his family all the time..."When am I going to get a grand baby?". I get pretty annoyed so I also would love to read everyone's responses when I get some time. We have a niece and a nephew and we love to hang out with them but we are so happy to have our own time when they go home. We do a lot of traveling and kids don't fit in to that at this time in our lives. If we changed our minds later in life, we would adopt. There are SOOO many kids out there that need someone to love them and I see no point in bringing more kids into this world when there are already so many here.
  • Legs_McGee
    Legs_McGee Posts: 845 Member
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    I'm 41, I've been married for 12 years, and am childless by choice. I don't dislike children in general (although some of them suck) and I don't doubt that I'd be a good parent - it's just not a lifestyle that I've ever been interested in. I like my friends' children just fine, and I have a niece that I think is the coolest thing ever - and I'm an awesome aunt.

    Neither my parents nor my in-laws have ever given us any hassle about our choice to not have children and no one has ever told me I'd come to regret it. And I don't.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    I've always wanted kids and when they were born i enjoyed every minute of being with them...UNTIL THEY BECAME TEENAGERS!!!!


    Now I always say I should had two dogs instead of two kids!!!! LOL!!!!
  • alladream
    alladream Posts: 261 Member
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    I never wanted kids, never had them, and yet I get along fine with them. I think everyone is different, and parents etc. can be so pushy and thoughtless about wanting people to provide them with little human 'toys' to play with--
  • sweetendeavor
    sweetendeavor Posts: 72 Member
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    The way I see it, not enough people who didn't want to have kids don't have kids and then they become awful parents. You're doing the right thing by sticking to what you want.
  • celesteflenory
    celesteflenory Posts: 22 Member
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    i dont want any! 28 years old, but I was 12 when I decided I did not want to have any. I have to agree with many of the readers here, it doesn't seem likely that this late in the game you are gonna want them. Talk with your husband. Get a feel for how he feels, if he can sway you then baby-makit away. But if he doesn't want any, and you do not want any, then stick with it. Have HIM tell the MIL that you both have decided against kids.
    She'll take it better coming from him, because it will look like HE had a say in the decision making, and not "my stupid daughter in law doesn't want to have kids..." Dont give any other reason than that because it will sound like you are making excuses and quite frankly, it is no one's business but you and your husband.
    Other than that, you two can move onto making better decisions... like where you will travel for your retirement. :flowerforyou:
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I was born to a parent that didn't want a child.

    that parent didn't believe in adoption "Who wants somebody else's mistake?" (I was told this constantly)

    that parent treated me with hatred and resentment every single day of my life.

    I no longer have contact with that parent.

    So, please please PLEASE, STOP IT with the "you'll change your mind' BS.

    I have no kids, and will NEVER have kids.

    /end rant
  • somatiff
    somatiff Posts: 27 Member
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    I was born to a parent that didn't want a child.

    that parent didn't believe in adoption "Who wants somebody else's mistake?" (I was told this constantly)

    that parent treated me with hatred and resentment every single day of my life.

    I no longer have contact with that parent.

    So, please please PLEASE, STOP IT with the "you'll change your mind' BS.

    I have no kids, and will NEVER have kids.

    /end rant

    That was me! I was told while growing up that I caused my mother to never have a life. She told me how once I was of age, she'd finally have a life. Like it was my fault she never accomplished anything.

    But yes, if our minds are made, people do need to stop it with the "you will change your mind" bs because it isn't going to happen. It's better to know that you don't want kids and not have them than to just give in, have them, and then treat them like crap!
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 353 Member
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    When we got married (6 years ago), my husband and I both did not want children (he was 26, me 21). We did make it an open ended argument though, and agreed that in 5 years (putting him at 31 and me at 26), we were allowed to bring the topic up guilt free. I still was not ready. I had other things on my plate and bringing a child into that situation at that time would have been unfair. I asked for another 5 years to get my career taken care of (i was looking for new employment) and to pay off my car/his truck and other bills. Right now, at 27, I have moments were I try to picture myself with children, and I can sometimes see it and then sometimes I cant. I understand that these things can change with time though. I am more open to it now than 6 years ago though. My mom wanted me to have a child so bad and I sometimes regret not having one before she passed. Though I was not ready and it was not a good enough reason for me to have a child
  • catpow2
    catpow2 Posts: 206 Member
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    I've already posted on this topic--but one more thing. You don't have to work this out with your in-laws. This is not their deal; it's between you and your husband. But you do have to work it out with him. If he's hinting that he wants kids, and you don't as in you're positive that you don't and you're not at all open to the possibility, then that's the biggest problem you've got. There are a lot issues that can be fixed in a relationship. This isn't one of them. You have to resolve this one way or the other with him.
  • Pink_Tina
    Pink_Tina Posts: 164
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    I'm 32, have been married for 9 years, and do not want to ever have kids (husband's the same). I'm going to be brutally honest here. I'm a very selfish and short-tempered person who likes her free time and already struggles with taking care of herself and giving the care needed for any type of pet animal to stay alive (fish, guinea pigs, turtles -- we live in an apartment). I've also babysat enough of my friends' children over the years to know that I am not good with babies, toddlers, or any kind of child that can't take care of themselves up to a point. The frustration sets in and I have to go find their mothers before a child gets shaken or some other horrible horrible outcome. Thus, I don't babysit anymore. EVER.

    And to those people that say "well, you'll change after having your own baby," I say "What if I don't and end up like all those terrible mothers in the news?" because, truth be told, that is a viable outcome as well. But, hey, at least I know I shouldn't have any and are taking the steps needed not to. Not every woman is mother material. :flowerforyou:

    I told my parents and my in-laws this when I got married. They never brought up the subject again. :laugh:
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    I was born to a parent that didn't want a child.

    that parent didn't believe in adoption "Who wants somebody else's mistake?" (I was told this constantly)

    that parent treated me with hatred and resentment every single day of my life.

    I no longer have contact with that parent.

    So, please please PLEASE, STOP IT with the "you'll change your mind' BS.

    I have no kids, and will NEVER have kids.

    /end rant


    :brokenheart: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I was born to a parent that didn't want a child.

    that parent didn't believe in adoption "Who wants somebody else's mistake?" (I was told this constantly)

    that parent treated me with hatred and resentment every single day of my life.

    I no longer have contact with that parent.

    So, please please PLEASE, STOP IT with the "you'll change your mind' BS.

    I have no kids, and will NEVER have kids.

    /end rant


    :brokenheart: I'm sorry you had to go through that.

    thank you :flowerforyou:
    I'm alive today, and thankful that I know I have people I can count on that aren't biologically related.

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