I am about to get controversial..

odusgolp

I think the problem has more to do with people not actively teaching their children respect, kindness, and compassion. The rest usually falls into place.

Boom Goes the Dynamite.

jasonr1442

Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:

You don't want to hit a child just like you don't want to ground them but certain actions require different punishments. My kids knew well and good that a spanking meant they really messed up. I can count on one hand how many times I needed to spank but I can count on one finger how many times they did what they did to earn it.

Sigh. The emphasis was on child.

Why would anyone hit a child?

Is that better? Forget the "want" part.

Sigh?! Because they earned it!

Beastette

I love the good old days. Everyone behaved perfecty back then *snicker* I am sorry but that shows a complete lack of knowledge about human nature and the past. The human race has done some gawdawful things to each other and no amount of getting smacked in the mouth has ever really fixed that. Bullying has always been around... And hitting people does not teach empathy.

But children had respect and they minded their manners.

Yep. And everyone had lollipops and the weather was always nice.

I blame El Nino.

AwesomelyAmber

I believe in spankings... not beatings or anything like that, but a swat on the butt is NOT the end of the world in my opinion.... HOWEVER I find that with my 9 year old son the absolute BEST way to make him understand how 'wrong' he is behaving is the MOM LOOK... the one that says "I'm so upset by what you have done" followed by the I'm so disapointed speach. When it is still out of control he gets the Gibb's Smack. Anyone that has ever seen NCIS knows what I am talking about... you would think that I beat him to death when he gets that to the back of the head, but whatever behaviour made me get that far usually stops without issue after that because he KNOWS I have had enough.

estitom

Kids do not fear their parents or any authority for that matter.

Oh really. Really. Seriously, this is all kinds of wrong.

focus4fitness

I love the good old days. Everyone behaved perfecty back then *snicker* I am sorry but that shows a complete lack of knowledge about human nature and the past. The human race has done some gawdawful things to each other and no amount of getting smacked in the mouth has ever really fixed that. Bullying has always been around... And hitting people does not teach empathy.

But children had respect and they minded their manners.

Whats funny is every generation toots the same horn. "kids these days"

raindance_maggie

i dont spank. i also dont care if someone does cause, guess what, its not my house so i keep my nose out.

however, i am a constant (almost) consequence giver.

i dont have to give out many of those in my household right now.

Reedern

I fully 100% agree with you! There is a HUGE difference between discipline and abuse. My brothers and I received spankings growing up and it didn't hurt us one bit, but taught us to respect our parents and other people too. Not to mention to respect the property of others. Kids today get away with such horrible disrespect and lack the knowledge of authority all because of a MAJOR lack in discipline. I applaud when I see a parent take charge and shut down bad behavior in a good way. However, if I knew a child was being abused (severly beaten, torn down, mistreated, etc.) then I would want to do something to stop that. As I stated before... there is a HUGE difference between discipline and abuse!

Erica27511

There is a school in SC that allows the teachers to physically discipline the children. They send home a consent form for the parent to sign. I absolutely would sign it. I grew up that way and was spanked at home. This "new" generation does not and that's what is wrong with the world today

BrettPGH

There is a school in SC that allows the teachers to physically discipline the children. They send home a consent form for the parent to sign. I absolutely would sign it. I grew up that way and was spanked at home. This "new" generation does not and that's what is wrong with the world today

With their rock and rolling music and ripped dungarees! Damn you kids!

jenbk2

Oh I would NEVER want someone at school, bus, daycare..etc to hit my child. BUT if my child knew that a call was coming to me about something they did at/in one of those places and they knew the concequence would be a spaking on their bottom the would think twice before they did it.

bekkaL85

Coming from an abusive childhood, I can tell you that there is a MAJOR difference between a spanking and a beating. I don't have any kids, but I have plenty of nephews and a niece. They all respect me and do what I ask them to and I've never had to raise my hand to them. The fact that they do goes to their parents who have taken the time to teach them from right and wrong. To teach them empathy and to care about people other than themselves. THAT'S the problem with these kids. No one is teaching them to care about anything but number one. All that happens when you do that is you raise spoiled, selfish children who turn into spoiled, selfish adults.

Erica27511

Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:

Apparently you haven't seen the video...

CLAP CLAP CLAP

_the_feniks_

There is a big difference between discipline for bad behavior and abuse. Too few parents discipline any more.

These kids, however, should be smacked in the back of the head and their parents sterilized.

beachlover317

I fully 100% agree with you! There is a HUGE difference between discipline and abuse. My brothers and I received spankings growing up and it didn't hurt us one bit, but taught us to respect our parents and other people too. Not to mention to respect the property of others. Kids today get away with such horrible disrespect and lack the knowledge of authority all because of a MAJOR lack in discipline. I applaud when I see a parent take charge and shut down bad behavior in a good way. However, if I knew a child was being abused (severly beaten, torn down, mistreated, etc.) then I would want to do something to stop that. As I stated before... there is a HUGE difference between discipline and abuse!

This is also a big difference in discipline and spanking. Discipline is guiding and teaching a child. Spanking is a punishment. One is NOT the other.

carolinesmiles

I don't know about spanking. It can work, depending on the child and his or her disciplinary needs. I was spanked a handful of times as a child, and I definitely remember trying hard to NOT do whatever put me there afterwards. I work with children, and honestly; they desperately need to learn respect. They have absolutely zero respect for authority or their elders, and they suffer from the ~special snowflake syndrome~. But I think a lot of that can be solved by regular, predictable consequences when they misbehave. Spanking should be reserved for repeated crappy behaviour, after all other options are exhausted.

But as for those kids on the school bus? If they were mine, they'd be on their way to military school to learn some respect.

tmauck4472

I believe we should allow physical discipline back in the schools. Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher, this child is being completely rude and has a complete lack of respect but all you can do is take it or send them to the principles office where they get to sit in "timeout" and get out of class for the day.

Whine all you want but look at the differences between schools from those days to now and parents need to know not every child can be disciplined with timeouts. Discipline is like everything else, what may work for some may not work for others.

Ah yes, the argument for the "good ole days". Back when things were so much better...

It isn't whining for me to say I don't want strangers hitting my kids. Not teachers, not school administration and certainly not bus drivers. I will maintain responsibility for my child's behavior. If they act out, just let me know. I don't need anyone stepping in with their brand of justice without my consent.

For the record my daughter has never once been hit and has never once been anything close to a discipline problem.

I've been lucky with my kids but I have no problem spanking them if they needed it, luckily they didn't need it much.

But the problem comes with parents who just don't give a damn about what their kids do. Thats where the true problem lies. They aren't going to spank because they don't care. NOT TO SAY IF YOU DON'T SPANK YOU DON'T CARE, but you truly have to care for your kids to make sure they act right in public, that they have manners sitting at your table and others, that they treat elders with respect (I also think elders must respect them in order to get respect) that they know right from wrong and they have concequences for the wrong and praise for the right. It really isn't about spanking it's about caring. The thugs out doing things like this have no one at home that "CARES" for them.

tizzie_14

I believe we should allow physical discipline back in the schools. Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher, this child is being completely rude and has a complete lack of respect but all you can do is take it or send them to the principles office where they get to sit in "timeout" and get out of class for the day.

Whine all you want but look at the differences between schools from those days to now and parents need to know not every child can be disciplined with timeouts. Discipline is like everything else, what may work for some may not work for others.

I need to ask... Do you have children? I don't hit my child and if anyone else put their hands on my son I would lose my *kitten*. In my experience, children with behavior problems tend to have a lack of discipline and follow through at home. This is not a blanket statement. Is my son perfect,? No, but he knows what is and is not acceptable behavior. If he misbehaves, there are consequences and he knows it.

_Ivian

My parents just instilled the fear of death in me and I was forever a wonderful child :laugh: Still am! I was terrified of my dad, TERRIFIED. Not of the beating he could totally put on me, but of the "I'm disappointed in you" speech. Holy crapoli, that was the WORST. And they knew it! *kitten* haha.

I got plenty of pops in the mouth for my slick tongue and eye-rolling but full on spanking frenzy - two times. Both of which I deserved. But my "acting out rebellious teenager" stage lasted like 3 months while I was in high school. I'm a freak of nature lol. I realized, rather quickly, that getting straight A's and behaving like a princess, always, was the best bet :laugh:

If I ever have a kid, I hope they take after me!

directorj

Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:

Apparently you haven't seen the video...

CLAP CLAP CLAP

FYI : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/21/karen-klein-video-bullied_n_1615622.html

lavieboheme1229

As an adult who used to be an abused child, I will never, ever, EVER hit my children. I don't hit my dog. I don't hit other people. To resort to laying a hand on another being only displays your lack of ability to deal with the situation in a constructive manner, which just shows weakness, not strength. And your children don't respect your opinions and your requests, they are simply afraid of you.

I am a firm believer that treating your child like a human being, yet, starting young, create a strong foundation of consequences for actions is necessary. Nowadays, I feel there is no consistency and follow up for mis-behavior. And more parents are interested in making money than giving attention to their children. Even though you may be spanking that child, at least you are paying attention to them. Children shouldn't have to resort to poor behavior to obtain their parent's attention.

I'm not saying this is your case, or anyone's in particular. This is my opinion based on what I have seen. And how I have felt.

I do not believe those children wouldn't have bullied the bus monitor if they had been spanked. I believe they wouldn't have bullied the bus monitor if their parents had showed them the consequences of hurting someone's feelings.

KatieMae75

I'm not anti-spanking, but I do believe it should be used sparingly, if at all. There's a big difference between a child understanding that there are consequences to their actions and simply fearing a parent. I think constant spanking leads to the later, especially when it's done more out of anger than it is discipline. Or, the child gets used to it, figures the sting doesn't last long, and it's no longer effective. I can't say that spankings (with a belt) disciplined me as a child. All it really did was cause me to cover my tracks better so I didn't get caught doing things I wasn't supposed to, it didn't teach me WHY what I did was wrong and why it was important to stop that behavior.

That said, my boys have each been spanked once that I can remember. In both instances, it was when they put themselves in danger. One ran out in the street, the other it was because he didn't seem to get that you can't put metal objects in electric outlets (in each incident, they'd had prior warnings). They'd never been swatted before. It shocked the hell out of them and now there is no more running in to the street or outlet incidents.

It very well could be that the behavior in kids now is due to lack of discipline, but I think it goes deeper than that. We're a busy society. We're always on the go, from morning until bed time. It's hard to find that quality time that kids used to get with parents. going to the park, board games etc.... In order to teach children, we have to spend time with them, and time is rarely available anymore. And when things are busy, we say things like "I can't play right now honey, I have to do (insert random errand here), you can bring your DS along and play with that though" <

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That is not a judgement towards any parent, those very words have come out of my mouth. Discipline around here us usually being grounded, it's followed through with, and a long talk about why their behavior was unnacceptable follows. I try to get them both out for some quality time whenever possible. Now, since kids don't come with a handbook, I can only hope that this will mold them in to upstanding men when they grow up, but I have no way of knowing.

beachlover317

I believe we should allow physical discipline back in the schools. Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher, this child is being completely rude and has a complete lack of respect but all you can do is take it or send them to the principles office where they get to sit in "timeout" and get out of class for the day.

Whine all you want but look at the differences between schools from those days to now and parents need to know not every child can be disciplined with timeouts. Discipline is like everything else, what may work for some may not work for others.

I need to ask... Do you have children? I don't hit my child and if anyone else put their hands on my son I would lose my *kitten*. In my experience, children with behavior problems tend to have a lack of discipline and follow through at home. This is not a blanket statement. Is my son perfect,? No, but he knows what is and is not acceptable behavior. If he misbehaves, there are consequences and he knows it.

Good job, Mom. You set limits and boundaries. Your son is aware of what these are. You follow up (CONSISTENTLY) with appropriate consequences. That is why you do not find it necessary to hit your child. Good for you. Your child will thank you, too.

mtaylor33557

There is a school in SC that allows the teachers to physically discipline the children. They send home a consent form for the parent to sign. I absolutely would sign it. I grew up that way and was spanked at home. This "new" generation does not and that's what is wrong with the world today

I would write "Just Call Me" on it and send it back.

I don't mind discipline at school, just not physical discipline. If they've done what they normally do, and it doesn't work, or this time it is something much worse, just call me.

I'm not going down there to argue with the teacher, or to blame them. I'm going down there to be on the teacher's team, to work with them to shut down whatever it is he's doing.

My son gets the message, but I need to be involved.. I think as a parent it is my responsibility to be involved.

BrettPGH

Ah yes, the argument for the "good ole days". Back when things were so much better...

It isn't whining for me to say I don't want strangers hitting my kids. Not teachers, not school administration and certainly not bus drivers. I will maintain responsibility for my child's behavior. If they act out, just let me know. I don't need anyone stepping in with their brand of justice without my consent.

For the record my daughter has never once been hit and has never once been anything close to a discipline problem.

I've been lucky with my kids but I have no problem spanking them if they needed it, luckily they didn't need it much.

But the problem comes with parents who just don't give a damn about what their kids do. Thats where the true problem lies. They aren't going to spank because they don't care. NOT TO SAY IF YOU DON'T SPANK YOU DON'T CARE, but you truly have to care for your kids to make sure they act right in public, that they have manners sitting at your table and others, that they treat elders with respect (I also think elders must respect them in order to get respect) that they know right from wrong and they have concequences for the wrong and praise for the right. It really isn't about spanking it's about caring. The thugs out doing things like this have no one at home that "CARES" for them.

Have you ever thought maybe you haven't been lucky? Maybe you've just been a good parent.

You're right that the problem is bad parents, period. My point is that adding hitting into the equation isn't going to solve anything. I would wager anything that the children we're talking about on the bus have been hit plenty. It doesn't automatically make them behave.

Good parents. That what makes a child behave. Spanking or no spanking.

rbrannock

I agree with OP 100%. I didn't have to spank my son much (he's 12 now) but my daugher, who is about to turn 3, she is a different story. Time out, yelling, nothing works with her...so she gets spankings. Not wtih a belt, or a switch or anything other than my open hand..on her bottom. Even that doesn't work sometimes...but I agree with spankings. There is a big difference in spankings and abuse....HUGE! I can tell you that if my children EVER disrespect someone the way those little brats did on that video to that lady, they would be WORN OUT......I don't care if they are elementary, Middle, or High school. There is NO reason for that and today's society makes me sick sometimes.

MeliJean78

Spankings aren't for children.

beachlover317

I'm not anti-spanking, but I do believe it should be used sparingly. There's a big difference between a child understanding that there are consequences to their actions and simply fearing a parent. I think constant spanking leads to the later, especially when it's done more out of anger than it is discipline. Or, the child gets used to it, figures the sting doesn't last long, and it's no longer effective. I can't say that spankings (with a belt) disciplined me as a child. All it really did was cause me to cover my tracks better so I didn't get caught doing things I wasn't supposed to, it didn't teach me WHY what I did was wrong and why it was important to stop that behavior.

That said, my boys have each been spanked once that I can remember. In both instances, it was when they put themselves in danger. One ran out in the street, the other it was because he didn't seem to get that you can't put metal objects in electric outlets (in each incident, they'd had prior warnings). They'd never been swatted before. It shocked the hell out of them and now there is no more running in to the street or outlet incidents.

Another Mom that is doing a great job. You are absolutely right. If you hit (or spank) your child the lesson he/she learns is to fear the parent (I"m bigger - what I say goes) and to be sneaky about their actions. How lucky your boys will be when they are teenagers, out in public, dealing with peer pressure and they will have the ability to think through the consequences of theri actions. Not just fear being caught. Pat on the back to you!

It very well could be that the behavior in kids now is due to lack of discipline, but I think it goes deeper than that. We're a busy society. We're always on the go, from morning until bed time. It's hard to find that quality time that kids used to get with parents. going to the park, board games etc.... In order to teach children, we have to spend time with them, and time is rarely available anymore. And when things are busy, we say things like "I can't play right now honey, I have to do (insert random errand here), you can bring your DS along and play with that though" <

---

That is not a judgement towards any parent, those very words have come out of my mouth.

neverstray

This is like arguing if smoking is healthy or not.

Hitting a child does not necessarily produce a respectful child. It produces a fearful one. Don't ask me, read the professional journals. If it was one journal, I'd say OK, maybe they're wrong. But, there is not a single journal anymore that promotes spanking.

When you spank a child, some of the problems can be, with a little boy, you can accidentlly hit his balls. It's is a large issue. Ask a old-time doctor. You can put their spine out of place. There are many physical dangers. Just because it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it can't. It does and it is well documented.

It also teaches to respect people out of fear.

It teaches that violence is the answer. It shows your kids that through brute froce, you can make people obey.

Stupid lessons.

On the other hand, it makes it hard to be a parent. How the hell do you discipline a kids.

I have my own way, just like every other parent.

When it comes to safety, all bets are off, and I do whatever I have to do in the moment. If they start to dart out in to the street, and I see a car coming, I'll grab their damn hair and pull them back, if that's all I can grab. Their feeling happy or respected is NOT my concern at that moment. So, that's that. But, without any impending danger, how do you discpline and teach them respect. I dont know. I do know that it's hard. Some times I am yelling at my kids and they stand their laughing. Don't think I don't have thoughts of right-crossing them through the wall. But, i don't. But, i can really mess up their lives. I sent my daughter to bed with no dinner. i don't make that a habit, but I can do things like that. She ate a couple hours before, so she wasn't starving. I take away things. To get back at me, they will say they don't care. But, I know they do. So, I hold on, and time goes by, and they start asking if they can ride their bike, or turn on their Xbox. At that point, I now have a learning opportunity in front of me.

If you think of kids like people, instead of like sub-people, you will realize that hitting them is stupid. What if your boss at work came up to you and hit you because you didn't get a report done on time. Geez. But, rather than that, they hit you where it counts, your wallet.

Anyway, that's my whole take on spanking.

NoAdditives

I don't know that it has so much to do with not spanking as it does lack of discipline and consequences.

I agree. There are many ways to give a child discipline without spanking. My kids don't need spanking. Time outs, taking away toys or privileges, etc. work extremely well for my kids. Rewarding good behavior (even if it's just a hug) teaches them that behaving well is better than getting in trouble.

I was spanked as a child. It taught me to fear getting in trouble and to fear my mother. It didn't make me want to behave because behaving properly was the right thing to do.

I am strict with my kids. They start learning the rules as soon as they can crawl and get into things. I constantly correct their behavior. It's a lot more time and labor intensive than if I were to spank them. But, I have extremely happy, well behaved kids who know better than to intentionally get in trouble.