I am about to get controversial..
Replies
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Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
You don't want to hit a child just like you don't want to ground them but certain actions require different punishments. My kids knew well and good that a spanking meant they really messed up. I can count on one hand how many times I needed to spank but I can count on one finger how many times they did what they did to earn it.
Sigh. The emphasis was on child.
Why would anyone hit a child?
Is that better? Forget the "want" part.
Hitting a child is abuse, spanking a child is discipline. Most of those who can't/won't see the difference don't have kids but agendas. My son learned the meaning of "Mercy" when I sent him upstairs for a spanking and when I got there I told him I was going to have mercy and not spank him even though he knew his behavior warranted it. From then on he always begged for mercy, luckily he was old enough that he didn’t cross that line many more times.0 -
Apparently you haven't seen the video...Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
CLAP CLAP CLAP
FYI : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/21/karen-klein-video-bullied_n_1615622.html
Seen it hours ago.0 -
I don't think hitting children is the issue here. Too many parents want to be their child's friend. I am a teacher, and I have so many parents saying that they can't "make" their child do homework or study. I have had parents tell me that they can't get their child off of the computer...
My response to that is -- who provides the computer... the cell phone... the whatever? The things we give our children are not their birthright. They should earn them.
Parents don't provide appropriate consequences for undesired behavior. Once a parent thinks, "I can't do anything about it," they can't. Appropriate consequences are not necessarily spanking, but they might be.
The only time I ever spanked my daughter was when she was three and she ran into the street after we had told her to wait. I spanked her behind once and sat her down to talk about the reason for the spanking. She never went into the street again, and I can't ever remember spanking her again.
Appropriate consequences, good discussions about expectations, and consistent follow through. That is what children need to learn how to behave.
OK... I will get off of the soap box now. Glad my 3 children are grown:-)0 -
There's a huge difference between disciplining your child and abusing him or her. My parents spanked us. My brother needed it more than I did, usually time-out or going to my room without my toys was good enough for me. However, I also think that sometimes parents give their children TOO much room. My step-son is 9 now. We've never had to spank him except for once when he called his mom a b*tch. Otherwise, that kid knows his boundaries, and knows the consequences. He's smart, he pays a lot of attention. He used to make comments about the kids running around in QT instead of being good. He'd say, "Mama those are not good kids, huh?" And I'd say, "No, I'm sure they're good kids they just don't stay beside their parents and be as good as you when they're out." Very clear lines were drawn for him, and we always stuck to them. Sometimes I think parents let their kids blur those lines too much, and that's when kids start misbehaving and finding that the normal types of punishments don't work. Perhaps we just were lucky with Gage, but the younger kids in the family were all raised the same way, and none of them seem to need much discipline.
My little brother, however, was the kid who didn't listen at all. He screamed just to hear himself, was constantly disobedient, running out into traffic, and doing whatever he could to shred our mom's nerves. I know that some kids are just that way. Nothing Mom did made any difference it seemed. She spanked him with a wooden spoon and when it broke (it was old), he LAUGHED at her. I'm not trying to put down anyone's parenting skills, so please don't take this wrong. I just think that sometimes our kids just need clear black-and-white lines. I can't tell Gage that he can't have ice cream after 8pm if his dad lets him eat it until 9 when I'm not home.0 -
Aack. This whole conversation is very scary. We should not beat our children into submission and use fear as a tactic. This method of education is how we have gotten to a world full of college educated people who cannot solve a problem. They have been trained to follow the leader and do as told rather than provide well formulated critique and apply critical thinking skills. I can't believe how many bright college educated people ask me to tell them what to do rather than work to figure it out. We don't value or encourage questioning or critical thinking in our children. Instead we value submission. I'm afraid of what kind of future that will leave us. Although a child who asks questions and does not want to go along with the group can be annoying as he** it is a quality we need in adults and it needs to be encouraged in our children. Spanking will do nothing to encourage respect, critical thinking or any other qualities that make for a happy, productive, contributing adult. Well, that's my 2 cents to this provocative question. Good luck to everone in their endeavors to build the next generation that will be making the decisions when we are the old folks in the rocking chairs
:-)0 -
What I want to know is why the bus driver did not turn the bus around and return to school? Those bullies should have been left with the principal and the remaining children brought home.0
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As an adult who used to be an abused child, I will never, ever, EVER hit my children. I don't hit my dog. I don't hit other people. To resort to laying a hand on another being only displays your lack of ability to deal with the situation in a constructive manner, which just shows weakness, not strength. And your children don't respect your opinions and your requests, they are simply afraid of you.
I am a firm believer that treating your child like a human being, yet, starting young, create a strong foundation of consequences for actions is necessary. Nowadays, I feel there is no consistency and follow up for mis-behavior. And more parents are interested in making money than giving attention to their children. Even though you may be spanking that child, at least you are paying attention to them. Children shouldn't have to resort to poor behavior to obtain their parent's attention.
I'm not saying this is your case, or anyone's in particular. This is my opinion based on what I have seen. And how I have felt.
I do not believe those children wouldn't have bullied the bus monitor if they had been spanked. I believe they wouldn't have bullied the bus monitor if their parents had showed them the consequences of hurting someone's feelings.
First, I am so sorry for what happened to you as a child. How wonderful that your child/children will not have that pattern repeated in their lives. Your observation is the most important post today. Children HAVE to be taught EMPATHY from a very early age. Without it, their lives are doomed, as well as, anyone that crosses their paths in life!0 -
Aack. This whole conversation is very scary. We should not beat our children into submission and use fear as a tactic. This method of education is how we have gotten to a world full of college educated people who cannot solve a problem. They have been trained to follow the leader and do as told rather than provide well formulated critique and apply critical thinking skills. I can't believe how many bright college educated people ask me to tell them what to do rather than work to figure it out. We don't value or encourage questioning or critical thinking in our children. Instead we value submission. I'm afraid of what kind of future that will leave us. Although a child who asks questions and does not want to go along with the group can be annoying as he** it is a quality we need in adults and it needs to be encouraged in our children. Spanking will do nothing to encourage respect, critical thinking or any other qualities that make for a happy, productive, contributing adult. Well, that's my 2 cents to this provocative question. Good luck to everone in their endeavors to build the next generation that will be making the decisions when we are the old folks in the rocking chairs
:-)
This.0 -
The youth today seem to be guided less by their parents and more by social media and their peers. Basic levels of respect, both for themselves and others has gone out the window. There seems to be no honor, no moral standards, no respect of people or property, no value of life, no God....a lost generation. TRAGIC!0
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Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
You don't want to hit a child just like you don't want to ground them but certain actions require different punishments. My kids knew well and good that a spanking meant they really messed up. I can count on one hand how many times I needed to spank but I can count on one finger how many times they did what they did to earn it.
Sigh. The emphasis was on child.
Why would anyone hit a child?
Is that better? Forget the "want" part.
Hitting a child is abuse, spanking a child is discipline. Most of those who can't/won't see the difference don't have kids but agendas. My son learned the meaning of "Mercy" when I sent him upstairs for a spanking and when I got there I told him I was going to have mercy and not spank him even though he knew his behavior warranted it. From then on he always begged for mercy, luckily he was old enough that he didn’t cross that line many more times.
Spanking is NOT discipline. Discipline is teaching and guiding your child. Spanking is a PUNISHMENT.0 -
I believe we should allow physical discipline back in the schools. Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher, this child is being completely rude and has a complete lack of respect but all you can do is take it or send them to the principles office where they get to sit in "timeout" and get out of class for the day.
Whine all you want but look at the differences between schools from those days to now and parents need to know not every child can be disciplined with timeouts. Discipline is like everything else, what may work for some may not work for others.
I need to ask... Do you have children? I don't hit my child and if anyone else put their hands on my son I would lose my *kitten*. In my experience, children with behavior problems tend to have a lack of discipline and follow through at home. This is not a blanket statement. Is my son perfect,? No, but he knows what is and is not acceptable behavior. If he misbehaves, there are consequences and he knows it.
I have a 12 year old, for lack of a better word, stepdaughter and a one year old son. My stepdaughter is very well behaved and my son, well he's a one year old.
Now let me ask you a question... have you seen this video? If I saw a kid acting like this in front of me I would want to spank them myself. Despite how your child may act not every child is as well behaved and why is it we expect authoritative figures to care for, teach, watch over, and help our children but they can't discipline them?
I might as well clarify, I am not talking about letting the teachers spank the children for something minuscule, I'm talking about when the child is acting as seen in the video or worse. And I might clarify I am also not talking bent over the knee WHACK, I'm talking about a smack on the back of the hand or something along those lines.0 -
Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
You don't want to hit a child just like you don't want to ground them but certain actions require different punishments. My kids knew well and good that a spanking meant they really messed up. I can count on one hand how many times I needed to spank but I can count on one finger how many times they did what they did to earn it.
Sigh. The emphasis was on child.
Why would anyone hit a child?
Is that better? Forget the "want" part.
Hitting a child is abuse, spanking a child is abuse. Most of those who can't/won't see the difference don't have kids but agendas. My son learned the meaning of "Mercy" when I sent him upstairs for a spanking and when I got there I told him I was going to have mercy and not spank him even though he knew his behavior warranted it. From then on he always begged for mercy, luckily he was old enough that he didn’t cross that line many more times.
Fixed that for you.0 -
Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
"Want to"??????? There is never a wanting to.... for me. I "want" to be friends with my boys - but I tell them my job is to be a mom first and if we can be friends too that would be fabulous!
Oh dear. So people can see the error in "wanting" to hit a child. But not the error in just hitting a child? Oooh dear.
Hey - how's the view up there on your high horse? It's probably pretty awesome, you know...with the breeze and all.
I am thinking she is not a parent.0 -
I had to write sentences and endure the disappointed of my parents if I screwed up.
Worked just fine.
Wait... i'm screwed up, so scratch that. :drinker:0 -
I believe we should allow physical discipline back in the schools. Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher, this child is being completely rude and has a complete lack of respect but all you can do is take it or send them to the principles office where they get to sit in "timeout" and get out of class for the day.
Whine all you want but look at the differences between schools from those days to now and parents need to know not every child can be disciplined with timeouts. Discipline is like everything else, what may work for some may not work for others.
I need to ask... Do you have children? I don't hit my child and if anyone else put their hands on my son I would lose my *kitten*. In my experience, children with behavior problems tend to have a lack of discipline and follow through at home. This is not a blanket statement. Is my son perfect,? No, but he knows what is and is not acceptable behavior. If he misbehaves, there are consequences and he knows it.
I have a 12 year old, for lack of a better word, stepdaughter and a one year old son. My stepdaughter is very well behaved and my son, well he's a one year old.
Now let me ask you a question... have you seen this video? If I saw a kid acting like this in front of me I would want to spank them myself. Despite how your child may act not every child is as well behaved and why is it we expect authoritative figures to care for, teach, watch over, and help our children but they can't discipline them?
I might as well clarify, I am not talking about letting the teachers spank the children for something minuscule, I'm talking about when the child is acting as seen in the video or worse. And I might clarify I am also not talking bent over the knee WHACK, I'm talking about a smack on the back of the hand or something along those lines.
What's wrong with teaching kids to stand up for what's right? To step in when someone else is being a jerk? To help prevent bullying?
My 3 1/2 year old understands right from wrong. When we watch tv shows or movies, like Kung Fu Panda, and she sees someone picking on someone else, she says, "That's not nice!" to the tv. She doesn't like seeing things that she knows hurt people either physically or emotionally and she tries to stop it.0 -
I think the problem has more to do with people not actively teaching their children respect, kindness, and compassion. The rest usually falls into place.
Yes! And parents wanting to be thier child's friend instead of disciplinary. You can still have fun with your child and talk about life but you have to draw the line between friend and parent.0 -
These are preteens. Fear of spanking does not keep them from doing such things... instilled values and morals do. However, if my child (regardless of age) chooses to make poor decisions, they are never too old for spanking or whatever punishment fits for the action/child.0
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Can we stop with the "Oh you don't believe in spanking? You must not have children." No. Some of us just know how to use our words.0
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Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
"Want to"??????? There is never a wanting to.... for me. I "want" to be friends with my boys - but I tell them my job is to be a mom first and if we can be friends too that would be fabulous!
Oh dear. So people can see the error in "wanting" to hit a child. But not the error in just hitting a child? Oooh dear.
Hey - how's the view up there on your high horse? It's probably pretty awesome, you know...with the breeze and all.
I am thinking she is not a parent.
Wait, you're thinking? :noway:
The breeze is wonderful. The view, however, isn't.0 -
I am a firm believer that treating your child like a human being, yet, starting young, create a strong foundation of consequences for actions is necessary. Nowadays, I feel there is no consistency and follow up for mis-behavior. And more parents are interested in making money than giving attention to their children. Even though you may be spanking that child, at least you are paying attention to them. Children shouldn't have to resort to poor behavior to obtain their parent's attention.
What do you mean parents are interested in making money- both parents working?0 -
Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
You don't want to hit a child just like you don't want to ground them but certain actions require different punishments. My kids knew well and good that a spanking meant they really messed up. I can count on one hand how many times I needed to spank but I can count on one finger how many times they did what they did to earn it.
Sigh. The emphasis was on child.
Why would anyone hit a child?
Is that better? Forget the "want" part.
Hitting a child is abuse, spanking a child is Discipline. Most of those who can't/won't see the difference don't have kids but agendas. My son learned the meaning of "Mercy" when I sent him upstairs for a spanking and when I got there I told him I was going to have mercy and not spank him even though he knew his behavior warranted it. From then on he always begged for mercy, luckily he was old enough that he didn’t cross that line many more times.
Fixed that for you.
Had it right the first time but nice try.0 -
I believe we should allow physical discipline back in the schools. Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher, this child is being completely rude and has a complete lack of respect but all you can do is take it or send them to the principles office where they get to sit in "timeout" and get out of class for the day.
Whine all you want but look at the differences between schools from those days to now and parents need to know not every child can be disciplined with timeouts. Discipline is like everything else, what may work for some may not work for others.
I need to ask... Do you have children? I don't hit my child and if anyone else put their hands on my son I would lose my *kitten*. In my experience, children with behavior problems tend to have a lack of discipline and follow through at home. This is not a blanket statement. Is my son perfect,? No, but he knows what is and is not acceptable behavior. If he misbehaves, there are consequences and he knows it.
I have a 12 year old, for lack of a better word, stepdaughter and a one year old son. My stepdaughter is very well behaved and my son, well he's a one year old.
Now let me ask you a question... have you seen this video? If I saw a kid acting like this in front of me I would want to spank them myself. Despite how your child may act not every child is as well behaved and why is it we expect authoritative figures to care for, teach, watch over, and help our children but they can't discipline them?
I might as well clarify, I am not talking about letting the teachers spank the children for something minuscule, I'm talking about when the child is acting as seen in the video or worse. And I might clarify I am also not talking bent over the knee WHACK, I'm talking about a smack on the back of the hand or something along those lines.
What's wrong with teaching kids to stand up for what's right? To step in when someone else is being a jerk? To help prevent bullying?
My 3 1/2 year old understands right from wrong. When we watch tv shows or movies, like Kung Fu Panda, and she sees someone picking on someone else, she says, "That's not nice!" to the tv. She doesn't like seeing things that she knows hurt people either physically or emotionally and she tries to stop it.
And I'm sure she'll never do anything bad in her life, ever, or be mean to anyone in her life, ever. :flowerforyou:
The thing is, you can teach your kids all the values and morals you want, you can give them every right answer and show them every right path, but in the end, it is their choice to walk down that path, to make the right choice. Not every child is always going choose the right path, even yours.0 -
I believe we should allow physical discipline back in the schools. Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher, this child is being completely rude and has a complete lack of respect but all you can do is take it or send them to the principles office where they get to sit in "timeout" and get out of class for the day.
Whine all you want but look at the differences between schools from those days to now and parents need to know not every child can be disciplined with timeouts. Discipline is like everything else, what may work for some may not work for others.
I need to ask... Do you have children? I don't hit my child and if anyone else put their hands on my son I would lose my *kitten*. In my experience, children with behavior problems tend to have a lack of discipline and follow through at home. This is not a blanket statement. Is my son perfect,? No, but he knows what is and is not acceptable behavior. If he misbehaves, there are consequences and he knows it.
I have a 12 year old, for lack of a better word, stepdaughter and a one year old son. My stepdaughter is very well behaved and my son, well he's a one year old.
Now let me ask you a question... have you seen this video? If I saw a kid acting like this in front of me I would want to spank them myself. Despite how your child may act not every child is as well behaved and why is it we expect authoritative figures to care for, teach, watch over, and help our children but they can't discipline them?
I might as well clarify, I am not talking about letting the teachers spank the children for something minuscule, I'm talking about when the child is acting as seen in the video or worse. And I might clarify I am also not talking bent over the knee WHACK, I'm talking about a smack on the back of the hand or something along those lines.
What's wrong with teaching kids to stand up for what's right? To step in when someone else is being a jerk? To help prevent bullying?
My 3 1/2 year old understands right from wrong. When we watch tv shows or movies, like Kung Fu Panda, and she sees someone picking on someone else, she says, "That's not nice!" to the tv. She doesn't like seeing things that she knows hurt people either physically or emotionally and she tries to stop it.
Then congratulations, you're doing your job as a parent but not every parent does as such.0 -
As an adult who used to be an abused child, I will never, ever, EVER hit my children. I don't hit my dog. I don't hit other people. To resort to laying a hand on another being only displays your lack of ability to deal with the situation in a constructive manner, which just shows weakness, not strength. And your children don't respect your opinions and your requests, they are simply afraid of you.
I am a firm believer that treating your child like a human being, yet, starting young, create a strong foundation of consequences for actions is necessary. Nowadays, I feel there is no consistency and follow up for mis-behavior. And more parents are interested in making money than giving attention to their children. Even though you may be spanking that child, at least you are paying attention to them. Children shouldn't have to resort to poor behavior to obtain their parent's attention.
I'm not saying this is your case, or anyone's in particular. This is my opinion based on what I have seen. And how I have felt.
I do not believe those children wouldn't have bullied the bus monitor if they had been spanked. I believe they wouldn't have bullied the bus monitor if their parents had showed them the consequences of hurting someone's feelings.
Aplause!!!! When your child gets its modeling from tv... well, there's your sign!0 -
Spank or not is your choice.
I asked and received plenty growing up.
I think the issue with kids these days is lack of respect towards other adults.
Is it lack of spankings? I personally don't think so.
I think is has to do with the lack of respect adults show each other.
Dad to Mom, friend to friend,etc.
What children see is what they emulate.
Just my thoughts........
I 100% agree with this.0 -
Can we stop with the "Oh you don't believe in spanking? You must not have children." No. Some of us just know how to use our words.
Can we stop with the "Oh, you believe in spanking? You must be a horrible, uneducated, moron of a parent." Thanks.
The one time I got spanked as a child by someone who was not either of my parents, was by a nanny I had. She spanked the crap out of me because I convinced my older sister (yes, I convinced her, I was the mischievous one.) to leave the park and try to walk home, which was miles and miles away from our nanny's apartment. So when she drove down the road and found us walking down the highway, she brought us back to her apartment and whooped our butts. Yeah, I learned a lesson that day. Shocking.0 -
Why would anyone want to hit a child?? :noway:
You don't want to hit a child just like you don't want to ground them but certain actions require different punishments. My kids knew well and good that a spanking meant they really messed up. I can count on one hand how many times I needed to spank but I can count on one finger how many times they did what they did to earn it.
Sigh. The emphasis was on child.
Why would anyone hit a child?
Is that better? Forget the "want" part.
Hitting a child is abuse, spanking a child is Discipline. Most of those who can't/won't see the difference don't have kids but agendas. My son learned the meaning of "Mercy" when I sent him upstairs for a spanking and when I got there I told him I was going to have mercy and not spank him even though he knew his behavior warranted it. From then on he always begged for mercy, luckily he was old enough that he didn’t cross that line many more times.
Fixed that for you.
Had it right the first time but nice try.
If you had it right the first time, you wouldn't be spanking your kids.0 -
This is one of those adorable topics where you need to learn to "Agree to Disagree."
I have never spanked my child. But, I do sleep with him *gasp*! And, I let him eat whenever he wants *double gasp*!
Call CPS.0 -
i spank, i have no fear of arrest. i leave no hand prints or marks or black and blue bruises. HUGE difference.
my choice. i also do timeouts, or take away sleepovers and such... depends on the situation... its my choice and it works!0 -
100% agree with you on this one! :frown:Spank or not is your choice.
I asked and received plenty growing up.
I think the issue with kids these days is lack of respect towards other adults.
Is it lack of spankings? I personally don't think so.
I think is has to do with the lack of respect adults show each other.
Dad to Mom, friend to friend,etc.
What children see is what they emulate.
Just my thoughts........0
This discussion has been closed.
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