Is it ok for my wife to talk three hours to a guy. 2 results
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you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
and now you just proved she cannot trust you.
you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
what were you thinking?
you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
Who said he snooped? Maybe she actually showed him the texts. And her response to the argument was inappropriate.0 -
Wow, I can't believe she reacted that way. But I don't think he was flirting with her in the text messages. It might have made you uncomfortable what they were talking about, but he was asking her if she had any friends, not saying he was interested in her. I think though that she might be up to something. I think if there is going to be therapy it should be the BOTH of you going, not just YOU. Problems are made by TWO contributing parties, not just one person. Suggest to her that you could do couples therapy and see if she is into the idea? I'm sorry about this. I think its BS that she deleted the fact that you are married on her FB. If I was married I would let my husband view my facebook, and I would be able to view his stuff. How long have the two of you been married?0
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What is he thinking??? That's his wife talking to someone and texting in the evenings. He has every right to snoop. It's his freaking WIFE. You act like that, you deserve to be snooped on. And she did the right thing?? Really?? Seriously....shut up!!!!!you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
and now you just proved she cannot trust you.
you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
what were you thinking?
you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
I thought we were over the whole 'wife == property' thing for a while now? She's still an autonomous person who is allowed to have friends that offer her things in her life that her husband can't or won't. Is she expected to keep logs to turn over to him? I guess he could just chip her and keylog her, too. You shut up.0 -
What is he thinking??? That's his wife talking to someone and texting in the evenings. He has every right to snoop. It's his freaking WIFE. You act like that, you deserve to be snooped on. And she did the right thing?? Really?? Seriously....shut up!!!!!you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
and now you just proved she cannot trust you.
you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
what were you thinking?
you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
no one deserves to be snooped on. i feel bad for your SO (if you have one, of course)
telling another person to shut up, real classy.0 -
In my opinion, and honestly no one can give you a for sure answer except her, it sounds like she was just looking for a reason to leave. The fact that she acted and responded that way is very odd to me. I have texted guy friends and hung out with them, but my fiance is ok with that, and the minute he is uncomfortable I stop. It sounds like your wife needs therapy, not you.0
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dude, seriously? she has been friends with him for 14 years! if either of them wanted the other, it would have happened by now.
and from what you have said she hasn't hidden anything from you about this guy. she's not sneaking off to talk to him for hours - she's doing it right in front of you.
there's nothing wrong or weird about you feeling concerned about this guy, but there is also nothing wrong or weird about her being highly offended that you could possibly have an issue. when you've been platonic friends with someone for that long it is hard to even contemplate that someone might not understand and accept the platonic nature of the relationship.
i also haven't seen you mention that you're sad and concerned that she's not spending enough time with YOU. it sounds like you don't necessarily want her to be spending that time on you, you just want her to be doing anything other than talking to him. that is a control-freak sort of concept and rightfully terrifies most people. i might be wrong, because i can't possibly have seen all your posts.
taking a vote on a forum is NOT the way to be going about this. think of what exactly it is about her talking to him that hurts you - is it that she is not spending enough time on you, that you think she wants him, that she's neglecting the kids, whatever! figure out your reasons, and tell her what parts of her behaviour hurt you. even if she isn't doing anything wrong, it's important to communicate hurt so that she can change the parts that she has maybe not thought of, and so that you can get over the parts that are only problems in your head.
she didn't blow up because she's cheating - she blew up because she has made it abundantly clear to you that this guy has been her friend for 14 years and neither of them want the other. if you keep suggesting it seems like cheating, of course she is going to blow her top. she has said it is not, he has said it is not, and they have shown you that it's not - what more do you want? there's not a lot more they can give you if you don't communicate CLEARLY why you are still feeling bad in this situation.
talking to a counsellor will help you to figure out why it still hurts, and will help you to communicate it to her. ask her to come along, even.
it's okay to feel bad or threatened in this situation, but if you want your wife to do more about it than she has already done, you have GOT to be able to communicate why you still feel threatened by a guy she is not interested in.0 -
All I can say is that it would bother me if my husband was doing this.0
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What is he thinking??? That's his wife talking to someone and texting in the evenings. He has every right to snoop. It's his freaking WIFE. You act like that, you deserve to be snooped on. And she did the right thing?? Really?? Seriously....shut up!!!!!you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
and now you just proved she cannot trust you.
you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
what were you thinking?
you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
no one deserves to be snooped on. i feel bad for your SO (if you have one, of course)
telling another person to shut up, real classy.
Snooping shouldn't bother someone if they have nothing to hide.0 -
The fact that you had to post the original thread AND now this one shows that this relationship is not working. Now, of course, we only got your obviously biased version of the story which was clearly written for the sole purpose of having everyone agree with you.
What the hell are you doing man, get over it. Lawyer up, get divorced, and go find a shiny motorcycle with a dumb blonde to throw on back.0 -
Dr Phil :drinker:The fact that you had to post the original thread AND now this one shows that this relationship is not working. Now, of course, we only got your obviously biased version of the story which was clearly written for the sole purpose of having everyone agree with you.
What the hell are you doing man, get over it. Lawyer up, get divorced, and go find a shiny motorcycle with a dumb blonde to throw on back.0 -
Sorry brah, your wife is emotionally cheating on you.0
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What is he thinking??? That's his wife talking to someone and texting in the evenings. He has every right to snoop. It's his freaking WIFE. You act like that, you deserve to be snooped on. And she did the right thing?? Really?? Seriously....shut up!!!!!you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
and now you just proved she cannot trust you.
you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
what were you thinking?
you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
no one deserves to be snooped on. i feel bad for your SO (if you have one, of course)
telling another person to shut up, real classy.
Snooping shouldn't bother someone if they have nothing to hide.
we also don't know if he has had issues in the past with jealousy. it's really just speculation. we don't have enough info to go on.
i am a very private person. i would never want to be snooped on.
trust is HUGE factor, especially in a marriage.0 -
No wonder you're a single mom.. Blaming him for this is why you're single.you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
and now you just proved she cannot trust you.
you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
what were you thinking?
you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats0 -
All I can say is that it would bother me if my husband was doing this.
EXACTLY!0 -
You need to talk to her about it and tell her how it makes you feel.
Good luck hunne! You are too cute to be insecure~ Just sayin!0 -
advice is usually what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't.0
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sounds like she was looking for an excuse to leave you and this was an easy way out...0
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i have a male friend of several years. we are close but when i married, my relationship changed with my friend. i still love him and we keep in touch from time to time. i dont know the entire situation but i don't feel it is appropriate for any spouce to be on the phone and txting late at night with a member of opposit sex. it doesn't look good at all, so sorry.0
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No wonder you're a single mom.. Blaming him for this is why you're single.you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
and now you just proved she cannot trust you.
you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
what were you thinking?
you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
i'm single because i didn't like getting abused. nice try though!0 -
Good advice.0
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