Is it ok for my wife to talk three hours to a guy. 2 results

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  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
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    My husband is friends with a woman and they talk and text all day everyday. I don't worry though because our relationship is very strong and I have met this woman. Your situation sounds different though. Ask to meet the other guy. If he is just a friend you should be able to tell. Bottom line is he is giving her something you are not. That might be as simple as his interest in her makes her feel wanted and sexy. If you want to keep her you have to give her the thing he is giving her. Ask yourself - What did I do when we first got together that I don't do now? It is likely he is giving her that. I know it is tempting to say "well she doesn't do this or that anymore either" but that will not save your marriage. Someone has to make the first move and it sounds like if you don't become the bigger person she will walk. It may already be too late but at least you will know you did all you could.
  • MandaPaigeSparkles88
    MandaPaigeSparkles88 Posts: 1,289 Member
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    This is exactly what happened to me and my ex husband. When our marriage first started going down hill he would stay in our computer room on hours end and play World of Warcraft and talk and chat all the time to different people. Well there was an ex girlfriend of his named Brittany and he would message her through hotmail. I got his username and password and she messaged me thinking I was my ex. I went off on her for the inappropriate messages that she sent to him. I confronted him about it and he denied it. Well me and him worked together in a call center and he met his current wife there. He would spend hours upon hours texting her and talking her and even went out with her to a VT game while we were still married. Two weeks after our 2 year anniversary he asked for a divorce. We are divorced now and I am really glad that it's over between us. What I would do in your situation is talk to your wife and if it doesn't work I would go seek legal advice.
  • DawnHowdyshell
    DawnHowdyshell Posts: 5 Member
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    I agree that we are all individuals and have a right to talk to whom ever we choose, but if your having feelings that something is going on chances are it is. Her blowing up and calling the cops is proof. She is putting her P's and Q's in order to make you out to be the bad guy. You should have waited cause I was always told "what you do in the dark will come to light". Now the kids will be involved and you guys will be arguing and you still have no proof. Just be careful and keep your eyes and ears open. Good Luck!
  • ndmain1977
    ndmain1977 Posts: 69 Member
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    That's classic man... when a woman is cheating on you, she over reacts when you confront her about it. Happened to me too, but i was so in love that I convinced myself that I was in the wrong.

    Now as an outsider looking in, I can't believe how dumb I was. She has a lot more going on with that guy than what she says man. I'm sorry, but I've been there.
  • monipie
    monipie Posts: 280 Member
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    in my opinion i don't think it is ok to have such a relationship with another man if you are a married woman (and vice versa). that is an absurd amount of time to be talking to a person who is "just a friend". i think something is going on, if not with this "friend" than maybe your wife was or is looking for an out or having a mental affair. there are red flags everywhere. i am sorry you are going through this. i hope i am wrong.
  • jlenz74
    jlenz74 Posts: 30
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    talking is not cheating. remember that.

    However, there is emotional cheating! cheating is not just physical!
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
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    I think you were both wrong.

    Her for blowing up and being unwilling to talk with you about it.

    You for being so in her face about it. If my husband acted the way you did for me talking with my males friends I would be pissed!
  • monipie
    monipie Posts: 280 Member
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    talking is not cheating. remember that.

    However, there is emotional cheating! cheating is not just physical!

    yup, totally agree!
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
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    talking is not cheating. remember that.

    However, there is emotional cheating! cheating is not just physical!

    yup, totally agree!

    i do also. emotional i think cuts deeper for me. that means there is a deeper connection between the two than just physical. NOT that she is for sure cheating on the OP. i'm just saying how i feel about emotional cheating. my 2 cents, if you're hiding it, you probably shouldn't be doing it. so i don't hide anything from my husband.
  • jfan175
    jfan175 Posts: 812 Member
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    There are three sides to every relationship problem. His side, her side and the truth. Considering we're only hearing one side here, we should withhold judgement on either party. If in fact she is having frequent 3hr conversations with someone of the opposite sex, there were problems beforehand where some need of hers was not being met.... and she is now in an emotional relationship with the other guy. He has every right to be concerned.
  • limex
    limex Posts: 81 Member
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    I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

    ^ this
  • jlenz74
    jlenz74 Posts: 30
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    oh dear! what she is doing is NOT okay! She is cheating on your emotionally! Cheating is not just physical! Good for you for investigating and trusting your instincts that something wasnt right! My husband was doing the same thing. He was sexting another women behind my back! I knew something was up and I check his phone! Then while he was sleeping I text this women with his phone and invited her over! She agreed and wanted to know where the wife was!

    She needs help not you! I would end the relationship because she will keep doing this to you! Shame on her!
  • monipie
    monipie Posts: 280 Member
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    I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

    ^ this

    wow, i have way more respect for my husband i guess. this makes absolutely ZERO sense to me.
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
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    I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

    ^ this

    wow, i have way more respect for my husband i guess. this makes absolutely ZERO sense to me.

    i agree with you. BUT everyone's relationship is different. some are totally ok with it while some are not. i am in the "not" club. i don't do it to him and i expect the same respect FROM him. now, we have MUTUAL friends that we have conversations with. one of my dear friends calls my husband on occasion and i'm totally fine with that. i had a friend's husband contact me about weight loss help and my husband was ok with that too, but those conversations were not hours long nor private or even close to inappropriate. and i fully trust my husband. i don't check his emails, calls, etc and i don't think he does it to me unless he is doing it in secret like a ninja. ;)
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
    and now you just proved she cannot trust you.

    you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
    what were you thinking?

    you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
    No wonder you're a single mom.. Blaming him for this is why you're single.
    You win biggest douch of the day. Congrats. I don't agree with that poster either but this response was just ridiculous.
  • ThaRealNicki
    ThaRealNicki Posts: 328 Member
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    have fun with that...but IMO, it's not innocent if she's blowing up at you.

    more than likely its this, seems like she might have grown feelings of some sort
  • theNurseNancy
    theNurseNancy Posts: 149
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    dude, seriously? she has been friends with him for 14 years! if either of them wanted the other, it would have happened by now.

    Did I miss something? I dont see the post where he said she's been friends with him for that long. If that's the case, the situation is a little different.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    Is your wife 16 years old?
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
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    wow, she seems so ready to leave over what she say is such a innocent thing, there is def more to this story she is saying.
  • wingednotes
    wingednotes Posts: 279
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    Sorry :( I think you should prepare yourself. She is leaving you.
    She already has an emotional connection to another guy.
    Everything she does from this point forward is going to sabatoge the relationship with you because bottom line is she wants out.

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