Vent, and help with a husband that "can't" cook

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  • BNA_Mommy
    BNA_Mommy Posts: 36
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    My husband's idea of cooking (and feeding the kids) is Stouffers Mac & cheese in the microwave, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, fries or tater tots in the oven, and hot dogs on the stove. To get him to actually measure and boil pasta and add sauce and frozen meatballs let alone actually following a recipe from a book or online with more than 2 ingredients would be like asking him to climb Mt. Everest. It's the nature of the beast I guess. His mom was a stay at home mom (june cleaver-ish) who did ALL the cooking and cleaning. Until the day we bought our house and moved in together, his mom was serving them dinner every night. We both work full time. And we both share other responsibilities like bathing the kids, getting them ready for daycare, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc. But I'm not a fan of doing yard work or taking out the garbage, so in exchange, he does that stuff while I make dinners.
    I use to joke with him about not cooking, but it would usually end up with him feeling "inadequate" as a husband, (yet he doesn't take the initiative to learn). I've given up that battle.
    Yeah, I still get mad when we're eating dinner sometimes at 7:30pm, and he can tell how frustrated I am, but I don't think it will ever change.
  • Jezebel9
    Jezebel9 Posts: 396 Member
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    Teach him how to grill real food like steak. If he can't grill, make fun of him.
    not only thins, but teach him how to put raw veggies on the grill. my son actually ate the onions we grilled- sweet! and delicious! we also grill just about every other thing there is
    pineapple, eggplant, tomatoes, garlic, peppers, mushrooms, carrots, corn on the cob...
    so much better than the microwave (which I do not trust)
    good luck
  • poetgurl2005
    poetgurl2005 Posts: 90
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    My husband can cook. He just believes that butter is a food group. I don't eat anything he makes anymore. Maybe it's time for a couples cooking class. It would be a way to see what he can and can't do. You may need bribery or sexual favors to get him there though. You could also try telling him his penis will get bigger if he loses weight. What man doesn't want a bigger penis?
  • russellma
    russellma Posts: 284 Member
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    Here's another idea!

    Why don't you make a deal with him that you will learn something that he can do, but you can't (maybe auto mechanic work/accounting, etc.) if he learns the basics of cooking?

    Then, both of you will be improving yourselves and feeling like the other is interested in being a team! It's a win-win! :happy:
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
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    Here's another idea!

    Why don't you make a deal with him that you will learn something that he can do, but you can't (maybe auto mechanic work/accounting, etc.) if he learns the basics of cooking?

    Then, both of you will be improving yourselves and feeling like the other is interested in being a team! It's a win-win! :happy:

    Best idea yet!!

    It also avoids the awkwardness of him retaliating with letting you "figure things out" when sitting by the side of the road with a stalled car. LOL!
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    Help me find a way to get my husband to cook. We have 3 kids. I work later hours than he does. Tonight I'm going to the gym right after work. He has to feed the kids....he text's me to say there is no food in the house, when what he means is there's nothing quick like mac & cheese or frozen pizza, chicken nuggets etc. Our fridge is full of food and so is the freezer.

    I'm livid, he is 35!! The kids can't keep eating junk because he is lazy.

    What do others do for situations like this? Am I to spend my entire weekend making up casseroles and stocking the fridge with frozen crap so he can "cook"??

    My husband doesn't cook and that doesn't make your husband or my husband lazy......................IT JUST MEANS THAT NEITHER ONE OF THEM CAN'T COOK.

    I am sorry, but it is wrong for people to come on the internet and b*tch, moan and complain about their spouse. Look around at every thing else he does for you and the kids......................Do you still think he is lazy???? Probably not. So, don't say that he is lazy.

    There are so many other women that would love to have a man that is at home keeping their children while she is still at work.

    Look at the positive and come to a realization that YOU married a man that can not cook. That is not his fault. Not everyone wants to know how to cook.

    Yes, make casseroles, crock pot foods, etc that he can just re-heat and eat.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    My husband's idea of cooking (and feeding the kids) is Stouffers Mac & cheese in the microwave, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, fries or tater tots in the oven, and hot dogs on the stove. To get him to actually measure and boil pasta and add sauce and frozen meatballs let alone actually following a recipe from a book or online with more than 2 ingredients would be like asking him to climb Mt. Everest. It's the nature of the beast I guess. His mom was a stay at home mom (june cleaver-ish) who did ALL the cooking and cleaning. Until the day we bought our house and moved in together, his mom was serving them dinner every night. We both work full time. And we both share other responsibilities like bathing the kids, getting them ready for daycare, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc. But I'm not a fan of doing yard work or taking out the garbage, so in exchange, he does that stuff while I make dinners.
    I use to joke with him about not cooking, but it would usually end up with him feeling "inadequate" as a husband, (yet he doesn't take the initiative to learn). I've given up that battle.
    Yeah, I still get mad when we're eating dinner sometimes at 7:30pm, and he can tell how frustrated I am, but I don't think it will ever change.

    My husband has tried to learn to cook and he did pick up a couple of things and he has always been able to cook breakfast food.

    He is not good at putting together seasonings and such on meat and veggies.
  • brianyeager
    brianyeager Posts: 44
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    Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
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    This is tongue-in-cheek:

    Leave him a loving note, a jar of spaghetti, a jar of sauce, and a pot. Don't forget to post the link to eHow in your PS. http://www.ehow.com/way_5147130_making-spaghetti.html

    If he can accomplish that, do the same with another dish you like. And, so on.

    Seriously, if he doesn't know how to cook, you can teach him by cooking together for fun....making simple dishes you both enjoy. If he does know how to cook, but won't, IMHO, he is being lazy. Or, he has strictly labeled your role as "house cook," a title which no one else can claim. That's a hard one to break. You can overcome the latter two by suggesting places that he can use for "take out" when you are unable to cook. If he has to head across town so you can eat something healthy for dinner, he might give cooking at home a second thought.
  • Brooklynhendricks21
    Brooklynhendricks21 Posts: 29 Member
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    My husband claims that he can't cook, although I have seen him make brownies just fine! If I don't make dinner in time, he will just go and make a can of spaghetti o's and then complain 10 minutes later that he is hungry! He can do that though! He's tiny! He's 23 about 6ft and 170lbs! Before he joined the army he was 120lbs so all of the gained weight is muscle for him, and the little **** does nothing but eat junk all day! It angers me! He wants Mac and cheese for every meal or fried potatoes and pasta with a ton of bread and he doesn't understand that I can't eat all of that! I am 21 5ft ad 200lbs! So no! I can't eat all of that all of the time!
  • HannahDiaz25
    HannahDiaz25 Posts: 104
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    Aw. No fun! I have been sneaky about this and just cook my dinner with my husband's. You could cook ahead if possible. I'm sure he can handle the microwave. That's what I do with my husband. I don't let mine cook because he makes a giant mess and doesn't measure things out. He gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner made for him everyday in return and I work. :)

    So yeah, I recommend making food in batches throughout the week... casseroles, crock pot, soups etc. and/or cook the night before and have them microwave the dishes. Your husband will figure it out or just let it go. He won't let the kid's starve though. That's for sure, I don't care who you are.

    THIS^^ has always worked awesome for me...my husband can and does cook as long as I have ingredients he knows what to with on hand. Try to get your man into grilling...all guys LOVE playing with fire :wink:

    Also maybe have stirfry veggies and presliced strips of meat. Teach him how to stirfry. Its fast and easy.

    The best advice I can give is just ask him and leave instructions on how to cook whatever you want him to cook. My husband once made a chicken tortilla soup because I left exact instructions for him (like get the chopping knife out of the drawer under the toaster and mince up some cilantro until its the size of dimes or smaller) Etc.

    I find that asking him nicely and giving him good instructions always works...
    I also try to throw roast or whatever in the crock pot so that its mostly cooked and ready to go for the evenings.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.

    I am glad that I was not the one that stated this, even though I started to.


    Love it!!! :heart:
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    Teach him how to grill real food like steak. If he can't grill, make fun of him.
    not only thins, but teach him how to put raw veggies on the grill. my son actually ate the onions we grilled- sweet! and delicious! we also grill just about every other thing there is
    pineapple, eggplant, tomatoes, garlic, peppers, mushrooms, carrots, corn on the cob...
    so much better than the microwave (which I do not trust)
    good luck

    WOW, these comments makes me wonder why you all are even married in the first place.

    Make fun of your husband, the OP calls her husband lazy.

    So much for being supportive spouses.
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
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    Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.

    Ahem, the last time I checked with folks who believed a woman should do the cooking, many men helped out, ESPECIALLY if you put a BBQ in front of them.

    Some women would prefer their kids eat earlier than they do (especially if school lunch is before noon and dinner not until 7PM). I don't think it is shameful to ask her husband to feed their kids if she will be delayed.

    I do understand some people are very stringent about roles and will not cross that line, but IMHO sometimes you need to be flexible in order for the family to flourish.
  • AbbsyBabbsy
    AbbsyBabbsy Posts: 184 Member
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    Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.

    Yes, the OP must remember that even though she works outside the home, and later hours than her husband, everything inside the home is still her responsibility. After all, her husband just got home from work. He needs to relax!

    ETA: When I got married, I couldn't cook, at all. We ate a lot of packaged junk. But I did teach myself through cookbooks, food network, and trial and error when I was 27. Now I'm so good, people pay me to do it. You can teach an old dog new tricks. No one needs to be a rock star in the kitchen, but it's good to know a handful of basic, healthy dishes.
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.

    I am glad that I was not the one that stated this, even though I started to.


    Love it!!! :heart:

    HAHAHAHAAH... I was wondering who'd be the first to transport us back into the middle ages!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • kls13la
    kls13la Posts: 377 Member
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    I find it hilarious that there are over 100 posts concerning how to get a 35 year old man to make dinner for his children. Are you kidding me? Is your husband really so helpless that he can't figure out how to do this on his own?
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    Help me find a way to get my husband to cook. We have 3 kids. I work later hours than he does. Tonight I'm going to the gym right after work. He has to feed the kids....he text's me to say there is no food in the house, when what he means is there's nothing quick like mac & cheese or frozen pizza, chicken nuggets etc. Our fridge is full of food and so is the freezer.

    I'm livid, he is 35!! The kids can't keep eating junk because he is lazy.

    What do others do for situations like this? Am I to spend my entire weekend making up casseroles and stocking the fridge with frozen crap so he can "cook"??

    My husband doesn't cook and that doesn't make your husband or my husband lazy......................IT JUST MEANS THAT NEITHER ONE OF THEM CAN'T COOK.

    I am sorry, but it is wrong for people to come on the internet and b*tch, moan and complain about their spouse. Look around at every thing else he does for you and the kids......................Do you still think he is lazy???? Probably not. So, don't say that he is lazy.

    bla bla bla....

    Surely she knows him better than you!

    I trust her judgement. If he says he's lazy I'll take it.
  • tadpole242
    tadpole242 Posts: 507 Member
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    My husband claims that he can't cook, although I have seen him make brownies just fine! If I don't make dinner in time, he will just go and make a can of spaghetti o's and then complain 10 minutes later that he is hungry! He can do that though! He's tiny! He's 23 about 6ft and 170lbs! Before he joined the army he was 120lbs so all of the gained weight is muscle for him, and the little **** does nothing but eat junk all day! It angers me! He wants Mac and cheese for every meal or fried potatoes and pasta with a ton of bread and he doesn't understand that I can't eat all of that! I am 21 5ft ad 200lbs! So no! I can't eat all of that all of the time!
    He's 23, but wait a few years (like 7) and all those ghost pound, the ones from all the crap he's eating now, will sit round his middle before creeping upwards to his moobs and down to his lardy *kitten*.
  • ericarae33
    ericarae33 Posts: 211 Member
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    Thank you all! He can grill, but if I haven't set meat out to defrost he is lost...and his version of grilling is heating the grill while standing there with a beer...once I have flavored the meat and set it on a tray he retrieves it, stands outside while its cooking and drinking more beer LOL

    I have tried to teach him some things, that is how he now knows how to make macaroni and cheese : ) I've also shown him how to brown meat, make tuna noodle casserole, bake chicken etc. Our fridge was full, so was the freezer.....he ended up ordering pizza.

    Last night I went home and told him that its high time he learn to cook, we've been married 6 years, its time. Luckily for him he agreed. SO next weekend I'm planning on sitting in the kitchen and having him cook : )

    We have a LOT of cook books, but the kids one is a good idea...I assume if its easy enough for a kid it would be for him as well?

    And yes he sister and mother babied him until he and I got married, the man didn't even know how to turn the oven on or use his own washer and dryer!

    Thank goodness he isn't on this site LOL

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