My goal is to be FIT, NOT SKINNY!
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No I see anger in women here who want everyone to go along with the
AS LONG AS I AM SKINNY I WILL BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY myth.
Grow up and move on if you don't agree with my OP. Seriously this is out of control. I did NOT put down skinny people. I am NOT resentful of anyway.
Yes, I am so glad there are women on here and men who GET what I am saying. They are bright enough to read the whole post and realize what I am truly saying.
It's the ones who flamed me are the ones who are super angry.
So sad for them!0 -
I too am amazed by the responses. I thought your point of view was wonderful and well thought out. But I'm old and don't get the people who are no longer teenagers aiming for a size 2 like they did in high school (if you are in your 30s you are not in high school) or to be able to fit in junior jeans (they are called juniors for are reason--if you are not a junior maybe you should not wear the stuff). Anyway I got what you said--be happy with who you are and try to be healthy and part of that is being realistic.0
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I too am amazed by the responses. I thought your point of view was wonderful and well thought out. But I'm old and don't get the people who are no longer teenagers aiming for a size 2 like they did in high school (if you are in your 30s you are not in high school) or to be able to fit in junior jeans (they are called juniors for are reason--if you are not a junior maybe you should not wear the stuff). Anyway I got what you said--be happy with who you are and try to be healthy and part of that is being realistic.
I'm amazed at the responses too - not the little squabbles of which I'm part of, but by the women (I guess it must be women only) who seem to put so much emphasis on 'skinny'. I'm not saying they shouldn't, I'm not saying they're wrong, I'm not saying skinny women are in any way less attractive; what I'm saying is that I don't understant it - it's MY failing, not anybody elses, I can't possibly see why someone has that as their goal "To be skinny"
Take a nice healthy not overweight, 110lb girl. I can see why she would want to be fitter, lots of advantages in that. I can see why she would want to be stronger, advantages there too. I honestly can't think of one single advantage to being thinner. What would an advantage be?
Of course she has every right to aim to be thinner. She hasn't got to answer to anybody. If she wants to be thinner then of course that's fine. Nobody can judge her or say she is wrong, but help me out. What advantage is there to being thinner once you are already 'not overweight'? And do the advantages continue as you get more and more thinner?
One advantage is all Im after. You're already justified as to why you want it so Im not arguing the rights and wrongs. You're right because you want it0 -
One advantage is all Im after. You're already justified as to why you want it so Im not arguing the rights and wrongs. You're right because you want it
The most shallow of advantages is that my face looks better as I get thinner. My BMI needs to be in the 22's for my face to no longer look chubby, and it still can look chubby depending on water retention and lighting at that BMI.
I feel physically more capable thinner, regardless of whether or not I am actually "fitter." My endurance and agility improves even if I have lost weight solely through diet. (I of course feel my best when I get truly fit through exercising.)
My clothing fits more attractively thinner as well, again regardless of whether or not I am fitter/healthier.0 -
It's more important for you to be skinny than fit? I'm interested as to why you feel like that. I'm not saying you're right or wrong, just that I can't even imagine why anyone would have that viewpoint???
Fit and healthy has a thousand advantages, whereas skinny is surely about just how others see you. I don't get it
I want to be skinny, not fit. :indifferent:
I don't want to have hard arms, abs, etc. I want to look soft-- and I want to be skinny. I suppose what you would call "skinny fat". I like the idea of looking soft and tiny and fragile. I don't want to look hard and strong. Just a preference. I'm not going to lie- I'm doing this for vanity's sake. Go ahead, I'll be the first one to say it. I don't mind.
*ducks tomatoes*
That being said, I'm doing this the healthy way, because I care about my body. That's just not my motivation.
That's exactly what I mean- a lot of women equate fit to being bulky and hard.
That is NOT the case. If you want to look fragile than that's your right. I'd rather look and be strong. By strong I don't mean he-man strong, I mean fit strong as if I can conquer the world. So I guess you don't like to exercise?
Aaah I understand. I am the same way-- I want to *look* small and fragile and then bust out with kick boxing moves and show off my strength. I just don't want the "ripped" look. With the abs and the huge arm muscles.So I guess you don't like to exercise?
I exercise 6 days of the week. :indifferent:0 -
We need a new word here. Fit has been co-opted to mean lean with visible muscle tone, instead of what it really means: being capable of fitness.
You can fit fit and thin, fit and soft, fit and overweight and fit and obese. There isn't a "fit" look since fitness is something measurable by your achievements.
There is a "fit" look promoted by fitspo that is largely unattainable by most people: visible abs, 15-18% body fat for women, etc.
There isn't a dichotomy between fit and skinny and fit and fat.0 -
One advantage is all Im after. You're already justified as to why you want it so Im not arguing the rights and wrongs. You're right because you want it
The most shallow of advantages is that my face looks better as I get thinner. My BMI needs to be in the 22's for my face to no longer look chubby, and it still can look chubby depending on water retention and lighting at that BMI.
I feel physically more capable thinner, regardless of whether or not I am actually "fitter." My endurance and agility improves even if I have lost weight solely through diet. (I of course feel my best when I get truly fit through exercising.)
My clothing fits more attractively thinner as well, again regardless of whether or not I am fitter/healthier.
Ah right I see, agility is something I hadn't thought of. Good point that
Interesting about the clothes though - I assume you mean 'attractive to you' or do people comment saying they fit more attractively?
In all the surveys it's the women who like looking thinner whilst guys like women to look a bit bigger. When women picked the celebrities they most wanted to look like they always seemed to be the very thin ones, whereas the guys often found those less attractive, so I guess sex appeal isn't the prime factor for these women0 -
There will always be nay sayers looking to find a reason for a debate Mer. I got what you were saying loud and clear and it wasn't ever to put down people that are blessed to release lots of weight and have a fit and thin body. You said what you did because you would rather be fit as your ultimate goal and not skinny as your ultimate goal because skinny does not always equate healthy. Clearly everyone who took offense read things in between the lines. Cheers to you taking charge of your weight back in 2005 and getting yourself fit and healthy and off those darn Diabetic drugs because of it. :flowerforyou: 0 -
An MFP member that was overweight and is now thin would probably better answer your question, Wonderob. I'll try to give you some of the benefits that yoga students have given me in the past, without focusing on the health aspect.
- easier to fit in restaurant chairs, theater seats, planes and so on
- enjoy shopping for clothing in stores with "regular' sizes
- easier to see your feet when you look down, and the scale
- not dreading shopping for swimsuits
- better sex
- increased confidence
- not worrying about their weight affecting their career or chance at a better position
- no longer worry about stares or comments from people about your weight
- at job interviews, you don’t have to worry if being overweight will be a factor in deciding whether or not you will get the position.
- If you are trying to date, being thin helps.
- easier to keep a thin body clean
- easier to go to the bathroom
- easier to enjoy any kind of physical activity that is fun, like riding a bike, taking a walk, swimming, hiking a trail, etc.
- the thought of being seen in a swim suit in public does not sound mortifying
- not worrying what others might be thinking when you're eating with them
- happy to see people you haven’t seen in a long time, not worried anymore about what they might be thinking of your weight0 -
An MFP member that was overweight and is now thin would probably better answer your question, Wonderob. I'll try to give you some of the benefits that yoga students have given me in the past, without focusing on the health aspect.
- easier to fit in restaurant chairs, theater seats, planes and so on
- enjoy shopping for clothing in stores with "regular' sizes
- easier to see your feet when you look down, and the scale
- not dreading shopping for swimsuits
- better sex
- increased confidence
- not worrying about their weight affecting their career or chance at a better position
- no longer worry about stares or comments from people about your weight
- at job interviews, you don’t have to worry if being overweight will be a factor in deciding whether or not you will get the position.
- If you are trying to date, being thin helps.
- easier to keep a thin body clean
- easier to go to the bathroom
- easier to enjoy any kind of physical activity that is fun, like riding a bike, taking a walk, swimming, hiking a trail, etc.
- the thought of being seen in a swim suit in public does not sound mortifying
- not worrying what others might be thinking when you're eating with them
- happy to see people you haven’t seen in a long time, not worried anymore about what they might be thinking of your weight
No that's not at all what I meant - Millions of advantages of being thin against overweight
What I'm after is advantages of being thin over already slim. i.e 110lb girl wanting to lose weight to be 90lb0 -
An MFP member that was overweight and is now thin would probably better answer your question, Wonderob. I'll try to give you some of the benefits that yoga students have given me in the past, without focusing on the health aspect.
- easier to fit in restaurant chairs, theater seats, planes and so on
- enjoy shopping for clothing in stores with "regular' sizes
- easier to see your feet when you look down, and the scale
- not dreading shopping for swimsuits
- better sex
- increased confidence
- not worrying about their weight affecting their career or chance at a better position
- no longer worry about stares or comments from people about your weight
- at job interviews, you don’t have to worry if being overweight will be a factor in deciding whether or not you will get the position.
- If you are trying to date, being thin helps.
- easier to keep a thin body clean
- easier to go to the bathroom
- easier to enjoy any kind of physical activity that is fun, like riding a bike, taking a walk, swimming, hiking a trail, etc.
- the thought of being seen in a swim suit in public does not sound mortifying
- not worrying what others might be thinking when you're eating with them
- happy to see people you haven’t seen in a long time, not worried anymore about what they might be thinking of your weight
That's a great motivational list for someone to reach their weightloss goals.0 -
An MFP member that was overweight and is now thin would probably better answer your question, Wonderob. I'll try to give you some of the benefits that yoga students have given me in the past, without focusing on the health aspect.
- easier to fit in restaurant chairs, theater seats, planes and so on
- enjoy shopping for clothing in stores with "regular' sizes
- easier to see your feet when you look down, and the scale
- not dreading shopping for swimsuits
- better sex
- increased confidence
- not worrying about their weight affecting their career or chance at a better position
- no longer worry about stares or comments from people about your weight
- at job interviews, you don’t have to worry if being overweight will be a factor in deciding whether or not you will get the position.
- If you are trying to date, being thin helps.
- easier to keep a thin body clean
- easier to go to the bathroom
- easier to enjoy any kind of physical activity that is fun, like riding a bike, taking a walk, swimming, hiking a trail, etc.
- the thought of being seen in a swim suit in public does not sound mortifying
- not worrying what others might be thinking when you're eating with them
- happy to see people you haven’t seen in a long time, not worried anymore about what they might be thinking of your weight
That's a great motivational list for someone to reach their weightloss goals.
Yes - as well as all the health benefits0 -
An MFP member that was overweight and is now thin would probably better answer your question, Wonderob. I'll try to give you some of the benefits that yoga students have given me in the past, without focusing on the health aspect.
- easier to fit in restaurant chairs, theater seats, planes and so on
- enjoy shopping for clothing in stores with "regular' sizes
- easier to see your feet when you look down, and the scale
- not dreading shopping for swimsuits
- better sex
- increased confidence
- not worrying about their weight affecting their career or chance at a better position
- no longer worry about stares or comments from people about your weight
- at job interviews, you don’t have to worry if being overweight will be a factor in deciding whether or not you will get the position.
- If you are trying to date, being thin helps.
- easier to keep a thin body clean
- easier to go to the bathroom
- easier to enjoy any kind of physical activity that is fun, like riding a bike, taking a walk, swimming, hiking a trail, etc.
- the thought of being seen in a swim suit in public does not sound mortifying
- not worrying what others might be thinking when you're eating with them
- happy to see people you haven’t seen in a long time, not worried anymore about what they might be thinking of your weight
No that's not at all what I meant - Millions of advantages of being thin against overweight
What I'm after is advantages of being thin over already slim. i.e 110lb girl wanting to lose weight to be 90lb
Sorry, can't help you there! Why are you after an answer to that question? From what I've seen none of those opposing the OP's posts, or yours, had that as their goal.0 -
I get TONS more compliments on my appearance at a BMI of 21-22 than 24-25. I think one thing I like about the clothing aspect is that with reduced fat, I have less to worry about regarding clinging to trouble spots. I'm only 5'0 tall though, and with that and my frame and natural shape, it just works out best for me that way.
That said, I am happiest with my appearance when I am also working out a lot. I don't get bulky, but I like to be able to see my muscle definition. For me, I don't think it's possible to look "fit" without also looking more slender.
And as I found out yesterday, having a tauter tummy helps when a toddler nephew discovers he can headbutt you repeatedly and it won't hurt you.0 -
An MFP member that was overweight and is now thin would probably better answer your question, Wonderob. I'll try to give you some of the benefits that yoga students have given me in the past, without focusing on the health aspect.
- easier to fit in restaurant chairs, theater seats, planes and so on
- enjoy shopping for clothing in stores with "regular' sizes
- easier to see your feet when you look down, and the scale
- not dreading shopping for swimsuits
- better sex
- increased confidence
- not worrying about their weight affecting their career or chance at a better position
- no longer worry about stares or comments from people about your weight
- at job interviews, you don’t have to worry if being overweight will be a factor in deciding whether or not you will get the position.
- If you are trying to date, being thin helps.
- easier to keep a thin body clean
- easier to go to the bathroom
- easier to enjoy any kind of physical activity that is fun, like riding a bike, taking a walk, swimming, hiking a trail, etc.
- the thought of being seen in a swim suit in public does not sound mortifying
- not worrying what others might be thinking when you're eating with them
- happy to see people you haven’t seen in a long time, not worried anymore about what they might be thinking of your weight
No that's not at all what I meant - Millions of advantages of being thin against overweight
What I'm after is advantages of being thin over already slim. i.e 110lb girl wanting to lose weight to be 90lb
Sorry, can't help you there! Why are you after an answer to that question? From what I've seen none of those opposing the OP's posts, or yours, had that as their goal.
Page 4
"Excuse me, but I want (and AM now, thanks to MFP!) to be skinny.
I want to be fit to. But honestly it is most important to me to be skinny"0 -
There will always be nay sayers looking to find a reason for a debate Mer. I got what you were saying loud and clear and it wasn't ever to put down people that are blessed to release lots of weight and have a fit and thin body. You said what you did because you would rather be fit as your ultimate goal and not skinny as your ultimate goal because skinny does not always equate healthy. Clearly everyone who took offense read things in between the lines. Cheers to you taking charge of your weight back in 2005 and getting yourself fit and healthy and off those darn Diabetic drugs because of it. :flowerforyou:
Thank you- and it is NONE of my biz what others think of me- thanks for that lovely reminder! You're awesome! 0 -
It's more important for you to be skinny than fit? I'm interested as to why you feel like that. I'm not saying you're right or wrong, just that I can't even imagine why anyone would have that viewpoint???
Fit and healthy has a thousand advantages, whereas skinny is surely about just how others see you. I don't get it
I want to be skinny, not fit. :indifferent:
I don't want to have hard arms, abs, etc. I want to look soft-- and I want to be skinny. I suppose what you would call "skinny fat". I like the idea of looking soft and tiny and fragile. I don't want to look hard and strong. Just a preference. I'm not going to lie- I'm doing this for vanity's sake. Go ahead, I'll be the first one to say it. I don't mind.
*ducks tomatoes*
That being said, I'm doing this the healthy way, because I care about my body. That's just not my motivation.
:huh:
While I respect your preference but I think it would be better to just keep it to yourself. I'm sure you'll get a lot of negative reactions here.
You're joking, right?
You have to be.
I was kidding about the tomatoes-- bahaha. It would be ridiculous for someone to wrong me for being honest when someone else was actually curious about a motivation other than health. And if there is not one other person on this board who is doing this solely to look good naked, I'll consider myself damned. But until then...
I didn't say I want to look sick or anorexic. I admire bamf females with muscles. It's hardcore. It rocks. It's just not my style. I prefer, for myself, the soft, traditionally feminine look. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Don't consider yourself damned yet, after having 5 kids and now being in my mid-30s I can't wait to look great naked!
FWIW, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look tiny and feminine and "soft". That was my goal all through my 20s...I would like to look fit now that i'm running, but that's mostly because I think if I have a more athletic body it might help me run better. 0 -
I am fit and have been so for a number of years now. (I recently volunteered for a massive medical study. At the end of my check-out/check-up, the nurse said that if she was giving out gold stars for health, I'd get one. :O)
But, I'm not skinny. Most of the time, I'm AOK with that. But, sometimes, like swimsuit season, I wish like hell all my hard work resulted in "perfection".
Thanks for the reminder; you're right. Fit > skinny.0 -
An MFP member that was overweight and is now thin would probably better answer your question, Wonderob. I'll try to give you some of the benefits that yoga students have given me in the past, without focusing on the health aspect.
- easier to fit in restaurant chairs, theater seats, planes and so on
- enjoy shopping for clothing in stores with "regular' sizes
- easier to see your feet when you look down, and the scale
- not dreading shopping for swimsuits
- better sex
- increased confidence
- not worrying about their weight affecting their career or chance at a better position
- no longer worry about stares or comments from people about your weight
- at job interviews, you don’t have to worry if being overweight will be a factor in deciding whether or not you will get the position.
- If you are trying to date, being thin helps.
- easier to keep a thin body clean
- easier to go to the bathroom
- easier to enjoy any kind of physical activity that is fun, like riding a bike, taking a walk, swimming, hiking a trail, etc.
- the thought of being seen in a swim suit in public does not sound mortifying
- not worrying what others might be thinking when you're eating with them
- happy to see people you haven’t seen in a long time, not worried anymore about what they might be thinking of your weight
Sadly even as a larger woman
1- I never had trouble finding a job in my profession.
2- I never had trouble keeping my body clean
3- I never had trouble dating
4- I never had trouble going to a pool to swim or the gym
5- I never cared what people thought about me when I eat with them.
6- I never cared about stares from other people.
Honestly these are such shallow reasons. I think CONFIDENCE and feeling good about yourself no matter what is so important and that's the women who get jobs, dates, and are happy going to pools, gyms and who gives a dang about what others think? I've always had tons of friends regardless of my weight- it's the inside of what people see. When you carry yourself around with confidence- because we can't live for the future- that's what is important.
Like when women say
I CAN'T GO TO THE BEACH UNTIL I AM THIN
I CAN'T GO TO THE GYM UNTIL I AM THIN
I CAN'T GO DATE BECAUSE BOO HOO NO ONE WILL WANT ME
I CAN'T HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY WILL TALK ABOUT MY FOOD.
Even if you are 500 lbs. you still need to live your life NOW- not wait until you get "skinny" and that's sadly what too many people are doing.
LIVE FOR NOW- regardless of your weight. My weight almost kept me away from a fitness weekend that changed my life in 2006. I was 300 lbs and went across the counry where I knew no one. and you know what? I made tons of friends, no one looked down on me.
It's quality of life- you won't have a quality sitting by the sidelines.
Most of this list is just downright depressing! and no matter how FAT I've ever been, I still LIVE MY LIFE.
Thanks to everyone and I didn't mean any offense as the OP. I just meant to say that we should all love ourselves, skinny people are given the message that they should love themselves daily and that's great. I also want overweight people to live their lives now- and not wait for a number on the scale or a size of your jeans. Your life will not magically improve once you're that size or weight. To believe that will just bring you heart ache later.
Been there done that. Now aiming for fit and healthy and yes a weight loss too because I don't want to be diabetic again- but that's a health issue- not worrying about going to a beach or pool or shopping or getting a job. I am fat and yet still get jobs, I get love, and friendship. I know thin people who can't find jobs, or have no dates- so it's a myth- that's my point.,
Hate all you want on me- my real true friends know me, and know my heart and intentions were and are pure.
Best of luck to all and if you GET ME, please feel free to add me as a friend 0 -
I hate the word skinny, I prefer to say slim
And I want to be slim and fitter xxx0 -
i've struggled with this concept, but it is people like you who are really helping me come to terms with the differences between thin and healthy,and help me understand that a number on a scale is irrelevant sometimes and being able to run like the wind and feel alive is what counts!!!!0
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I concur!!!!0
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Well, good for you, OP.0
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yay?0
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^^^This! just as you claim you can be fit and obese or fat, or whatever you want to call it, you can be fit and slim , or skinny. If you want to justify being fat, that's fine. But it sure came out sounding wrong.I hate the word skinny, I prefer to say slim
And I want to be slim and fitter xxx0 -
I just want to eat taco's0
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Original post started with this -Do I want to be SKINNY?
No thank you! I'd rather be FIT! Skinny to me could equate to illness and sickness. It doesn't always equate to healthy. There are SKINNY Aids and Cancer victims.
Skinny people can be unhealthy and NOT fit. I think I've heard a word for that called Skinny -fat. It's very sad when I hear women say they want to be skinny. I know it may be a word and just semantics- I just cringe when I hear it. Can anyone relate?
I don't care to be in this ridiculous thread any longer, I have better things to do, defending friend's goals against other's judgement I will do, but none of this is adding to or enriching my life in any way. I haven't learned a thing. I might be "skinny" in comparison to most of you, but I always have been. I've also always been fit. Very. Sorry, I just can't relate to the original poster's words at all. Best to all of you! :flowerforyou:0 -
It's too bad that eating healthier and cutting back on portions doesn't help people mind their own damned business.0
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I just read the rest of this. OP, you had every right to defend yourself, and I think you did so wonderfully. I completely disagree with a lot of the people saying that you should have picked a different title for the thread. I think it's perfect.
It just goes to show you how warped our society is - that women are striving to be 'fragile,' soft, and skinny to the point that they are putting themselves in danger. It also goes to show you that so many people believe that a woman who takes up very little to no space is adored and has more value over a woman who takes up space (be it obese or 'too' muscular) who is then harshly judged and criticized by a majority of her peers. (you're too muscular, you're too big, etc.)
What I'm getting is that a lot of people believe skinny is better because they'll fit into clothes easier, look great naked, automatically be healthier, etc. We've already beaten to death the idea that just because you're 'thin,' doesn't automatically mean fit, and just because someone has excess weight, it doesn't automatically mean they're unhealthy...but that's not what society perceives. I know if I see a stunning model-esque woman trying on a pair of shoes, I'm thinking 'DAMNIT! WHY THE HELL CAN'T I LOOK LIKE THAT!?"
But that's a dangerous way of thinking, and I know it is.
Anywho, OP, you're fabulous. Keep striving for fit. If you get thin, it's just a byproduct, but I'm glad it's not your goal.
Don't let the over-sensitive skinny brigade get to you. 
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