A stranger's harsh words

ninerbuff

It's unfortunate that with every good person that says something nice, someone else will say something bad. One thing I've learned over the years is not to take a persons opinion as personal because if I did it would tear me down. I worked door to door sales for 12 years and have had lots of "rejection". First month was tough, but after that, I figured it out that their opinions won't stop me from reaching whatever goal I made.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Blaineyyy

People can be so moronic. Regardless whether or not he was drunk, it doesn't give him any right whatsoever to let something have that effect on you. It makes me so sad, and it didn't even happen to me. :frown: It takes a pretty vile personality to come out with something like that, so already you're the better person - keep that in mind and keep holding strong, and smile because you're beautiful. :flowerforyou:

jenj1313

Glad it inspired you to get up and moving in the end, but I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Obviously, he WASN'T thinking because he was drunk, but that's no excuse.

All I can say is that you can fix overweight, but you can't fix stupid and you can't fix ugly. So he looses in the end!

Keep up the great work... you've made awesome progress in one month, just keep it going.

All the best to you. Stay strong and don't let this guy get the best of you.

Jen

chicago_dad

For future reference, here's the correct response:

Turn to anyone else within earshot, and say very loudly, "Did you hear what that guy said? I feel so sorry for people like that, who have so little in their lives to value that their only joy comes from being an *kitten* like that. It must be so sad living in his shoes like that, in such a joyless, pathetic, sad, dark life. Oh well, I guess without *kitten* like that, it would be harder to notice the great people in the world."

usinypsi

I laughed out loud at this response. "i would cough and him and say I have TB too."

I had a guy at work tell me I was getting fat and I told him "I can lose this weight but you will always be ugly" not as witty as the above response but worked in a pinch.

Healthydiner65

Typo? LOL!

jenj1313

Im really sorry to hear this. I know people do say mean things. Ive used to see it multiple times a week. Where I used to live, I would see this almost everyday by the prissy young women. They were so mean to strangers. THey used to push over weight people out of the way in line and say "omg, your gross fat a can stand to wait to eat, its obvous you eat too much or they would say omg, eeeew gross, dont go out in puclic, you take up too much space and are gross". I had to move, I couldnt stand how they treated people. To be honest, they were mean to everyone. LIfe will get their Kim Kardashian wannbe butt. Keep your head up and ignore them, they are just unhappy.

Where on earth did you live that this was a regular occurrence??

dalgal26

He is an idiot! And he will realize that one day when he, his wife, his sister or his mother is picked on and put down by another idiot just like him. Karma does have a way of doing that!

You are a beautiful person and the way you handled the situation was spot on. :flowerforyou:

I wish you the best of luck in your journey to a healthier life ahead! :flowerforyou:

Asil02

Some people can be so ugly. I don't understand it. {{{HUGS}}}

Monica_has_a_goal

Good God, some people really should have their mouths stapled shut. I'm so sorry you were the victim of a true blue moron. I know it's easier said than done, but try to dismiss his comments and consider the source.....a loser. Try to turn it into motivation in your mind. You can change your lifestyle, he sure can't. Big hugs to you. You ARE strong, we all have our vulnerable moments. What I'd give to meet up with him with a sledgehammer. :flowerforyou:

I HAVE A STAPLER!! :bigsmile:

Healthydiner65

I'm so sorry!

About 10 years ago I was at a bar with my sister. I had just lost some weight and thought I looked pretty good. A drunk guy walked past me and said to his friend "don't let me get drunk enough to go home with something like that."

Some people are just jerks!

Your dong a great job, keep going!!

Typo? LOL!

BeckaT79

I'm sorry that happened... You did the right thing and are a much stronger person than I am. I would not have been so nice. You are doing great. Keep up the awesome work!

Lornajune

That is awful! I am so sorry to hear this, I know it totally happens though b/c it happened to me to a couple of months ago. I was 226 at the time to! I went in to the convenience store and picked out some chocolate, which I really rarely do, but this day I do and the cashier says to me "are you sure you really need that, your already...." and it looks me up and down. It was horrifying, we were the only people in the store at the time but still, just awful behavior from anyone! That day I was feeling really low and I was thinking the same thing to myself before I even went into the store, like do I really need chocolate today....it proved to me that you project what your mind is telling you and how it makes you feel onto others.
I am just so grateful for this site, I have been logging in for almost 2 months I think and have lost 12 pounds, feels great and I am not giving up because of what anyone says or does, I am doing this for me and my family. Good luck it sounds like your doing great

I am sending you a friend invite, I don't have to many and I think the more cheering on the better.

bikinibeliever

My response would have been, "yeah stay away so you don't catch my FAT and I don't have to worry about catching your STUPID!"

He was a stupid drunk so don't let his words mean anything to you.

Be happy with the knowledge that you can fix your weight, he'll never be able to fix his mental flaw!

:flowerforyou:

donna_do_good

That happened to me once,

I was walking past a bar by myself while shopping and a guy tried to talk to me and call me over I said no i'm in a rush & he went you think I was trying to chat you up, you keep eating those crisps any wonder your fat! I just walked on, then round the corner threw my crisps in the bin and nearly cried.

I was at that point 5ft 10 and 11 stone or 154lb, not that fat im my opinion but it did make me want to lose weight and i'm down 4lb :-)

I guess what i'm trying to say is people know this hurts and some people are sad enough to get pleasure out of it

iKapuniai

In the words of my favorite lady, Madea - "It aint what you're called, it's what you answer to."

Take the insult with a grain of salt and keep living your life. People will never cease passing judgment or speaking before they think (unfortunately I tend to have the same sickness at times), all you can do is use them harsh words to push yourself to your limits and prove them - and everyone else around them - wrong.

It's always hard to just "turn the other cheek", no matter how old or mature you are... but some people, especially idiots, are definitely NOT even worth the effort. Of course that's always easier said than done, cause had it been me, that guy and I might have had a good throw down... but guess who would have won? Yup, the "fat" girl. Although I'm not such a great person myself, and I hate idiots with a bloody passion, so disregard that part lol

Hold your head up and just keep on truckin', cause YOU are all that matters right now, not some belligerent, drunken *kitten* with such blatant ignorance. Not. Worth. Your. Time.

You're beautiful! Remember that.

Love and Alohas,
Ihilani Kapuniai

jerber160

so sad... I wish my saying 'don't let it get to you' would help, but I'm sure that won't matter. someone else said it.... picture his girlfriend.. that poor thing is in for a rotten future whether she knows it or not. I wish you could be proud and happy that you're on a great path.. we're all on journeys, some more obviously than others... but everybody ( with a grain of sense) is striving to grow... be well sweetie

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

Wow what a jerk! I'm so sorry that it happened to you, I had a kinda similar situation so I know how you feel. Losers like him deserve to be ignored. You can always change your body but he will always remain a loser.

mxtodsi

That's awful. There are some really sick people out there. I'm so sorry.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

My response would have been, "yeah stay away so you don't catch my FAT and I don't have to worry about catching your STUPID!"

Haha I love this!

irishcanadianwoman

I am so sorry that happened to you but it is clear that man is an example of "sorry". Your wrote " I'm a "shrinking healthily" 226 pound woman with feelings, damn it!" Keep repeating that. You are on a path to self love and care. Don't let anyone derail your journey. I am glad you shared your pain and hurt. We can help contradict those harsh words with loving words to allow you to recover and continue on your journey. This journey is full of potholes and a ..holes. It is hard to avoid them all since they are so unexpected. Glad you shared instead of feeding your hurt. Continued healing and success.

This is brilliant!!!
I would have wanted to say something hurtful back. "Maybe I am fat, but in a few months I will be slim and healthy. But in a few months you will still be an *kitten*!"
Rising above is the best and most gracious response.
Best wishes on your journey.

tabulator32

He was a freakin' stumblin' drunk. How much credence do you give his critique?!

Walk up behind him and kick his knees out from under him and then say "Wow! You were right! You DO need to stay away from me!"

barnacle1225

All I can think after reading this is your life could be a lot worse, you could be that poor drunken idiot's girlfriend!!! If that's how he acts out in public just imagine what he's like in the privacy of his own home and how he must treat her. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

heddylyn

My heart broke a little when I read your post. I am so sorry. Brushing it off is easier said than done, even when the hurtful words came from a worthless stranger that you will probably never see again. I too have been there. It happened over 5 years ago and I still think about it from time to time. It was right after I had my first child. I was 100 pounds heavier than I am today. Having my son was motivation for me to take my life back, be healthy and set a good example for my child. My husband and I decided to go to the park for a long walk. I stopped to go to the bathroom. As I was washing my hands I felt this woman behind me just staring. I turned around to grab a towel to dry my hands and made eye contact with her. She said "I can't BELIEVE that you exercise. I mean, your hips - they are SO BIG!!!" And she even used hand gestures to demonstrate how massively enormous my *kitten* was. I literally felt like I had been punched in the gut. All I could think to say was "that was an incredibly rude thing to say." I came out of the bathroom shaking and couldn't even tell my husband what happened until that night when we were in bed and I couldn't go to sleep. Anyway, my boot camp instructor and mentor always says "don't ever forget where you came from." He said he sees it all the time. People that come to him that are overweight with little self esteem and start seeing results. He said sometimes people get in the best shape of their lives and something changes in them. They become arrogant, start judging others, etc. Just remember that you have the same heart no matter what size you are. Stay true to yourself and treat others with respect and you will be fine. Good luck on your fitness journey! And please know that you're not alone!

GAbutterfly82

My response would have been, "Well, I can lose this weight, but I'm afraid you'll always have a small d**k. Sorry about that, honey." But then, I'm not sure I'd want to stoop to his level.

Heaven71

I'm normally quite a strong person and don't really let anyone who says anything affect me, but on Friday, that all changed..!

I was out with friends for a long brunch (my "cheat" meal for the month) and some random (albeit drunk) man was walking around with his girlfriend and said to her 'let's get away from here because that woman is fat".. in ear shot!!! I asked him what he said and he repeated it, looking directly at me, "what, you are really fat"... my only response was that I couldn't help it if he was an "a'hole"... but the damage was done, I was devastated, still am. I held myself together, until I got in a taxi and then bawled my eyes out for an hour until I fell asleep... how does he not know what affect this could have on someone, what if they weren't as strong as I am??

How can anyone be that cruel..! It is clearly up to you what you think, but why would you say something so offensive to someone your walking past, whether you know them or not..!

I used to be "less cuddly" but through a year of ups and downs and stress and tragedy, I've gained around 60 pounds... I started work on finding myself again at the beginning of June and shed 9 of them so far. My journey's only just beginning but people like that don't help... although I woke up the next morning and went for a 5km walk in searing heat - so I guess, sucks to be him (probably cuddling a toilet bowl somewhere) because what he did, made me get up the next morning to ensure I got my exercise in..! I'm a "shrinking healthily" 226 pound woman with feelings, damn it!

Instant A'hole, just add alcohol. Use it as fuel as you did the next morning. He has a miserable life, therefore he must make others miserable to justify his misery.

You are doing more to better yourself than he ever will, just take solace in the fact that you are a better person and you would never hurt someone like that.

Great Job on the 5k walk, you are doing it!

miracole

unfortunately words have power, no matter who the ignorant *kitten* is who spouts them. Your response was totally merited, and I say good for you for taking those words and using them to motivate you to get your exercise in. You may be fat but you can change that, it'll be a lot harder for that prick to become a decent human being.

skcornett

Years ago, I traveled quite a bit for work. One evening, I was flying in a really small plane - think 10 seats. Anyway, the man next to me didn't want me to sit in that seat. He literally didn't want the fat chick to be on the exit row next to him. Hello? I could have easily opened that door if necessary - put a little weight behind it, you know? Anyway, he was just rude and an *kitten*.

When we arrived in South Bend, he was still spitting and fuming. But Karma is a glorious thing. I picked up the last rental car available that night, and there were no cabs available. My parting words? "Doesn't pay to be an *kitten*, does it?" Not mature, but dang that felt good.

Moral of the story: karma can be your friend. You keep doing what you are doing. And figure he'll keep doing what he's doing and someone's gonna take a shot at him.

Hold your head up and smile - you are beautiful.

fatcheeksme

I'm so sorry that happened to you! It's unfortunate how people behave so carelessly towards other peoples feelings. I've had things said to me before in the past and I know it hurts but as far as I'm concerned he's irrelevant and can kiss your bum and You can continue to exercise and be healthy while he works toward alcohol poisoning

TLEIGH33777

Whos drunk @ brunch? That says alot about him right there. I would have taken his words lightly. He has issues.....