A stranger's harsh words

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  • lisadlocks
    lisadlocks Posts: 212 Member
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    I am so sorry that happened to you but it is clear that man is an example of "sorry". Your wrote " I'm a "shrinking healthily" 226 pound woman with feelings, damn it!" Keep repeating that. You are on a path to self love and care. Don't let anyone derail your journey. I am glad you shared your pain and hurt. We can help contradict those harsh words with loving words to allow you to recover and continue on your journey. This journey is full of potholes and a ..holes. It is hard to avoid them all since they are so unexpected. Glad you shared instead of feeding your hurt. Continued healing and success.
  • Jennvandemark
    Jennvandemark Posts: 179 Member
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    Don't let that man/boy get to you. You are doing a great job and finding the new healthy you. Some people are mean and ugly when they don't love themselves. They always feel the need to make people feel little just like they are. That man has no idea what you have gone through in your life plus he is a prick.

    Keep your head held high and don't cry one more tear for that a hole.

    (my worst fat moment was a ladies night out and we went to a comedy club where the comedian thought it would be a great idea to pick on the fat girl in the crowd. I sat there and took it with a smile, my friends had went to the bar for more drinks so I was sitting there alone. When the show was over I cried in a bathroom stall by myself. I have never gone to another comedy show.)

    Still hurts to think about.
  • jfenergy
    jfenergy Posts: 2
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    There's a jack *kitten* born every minute, keep ur head up ,,, shame on him,, that really tells us how he fells about himself... take care,,, :smile:
  • SnarkyJo
    SnarkyJo Posts: 18 Member
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    He hit on your insecurities. It's ok to cry over it, but only this time. Next time smile, look the douche right in the eyes and say "Sure, I'm heavy. At least I feel secure enough about myself not to be a d!ck to others. I hope you have a good day!" with all the joy you can muster. Then go to the gym and beat the crap out of the punching bag, go swimming, or take it out on your boyfriend (in bed). Use his hateful, disgusting words as motivation. You are better than those words. I mean, he was drunk right? Five years from now he wil still be living in his mom's basement and playing beer pong with the recently turned 21 frat boys and you will be....enjoying your goal weight, married to your Prince Charming, backpacking in Europe, or kicking *kitten* as ruler of the universe?! It's easy to say "who cares what others say about you?!" but what you must overcome is what you think of yourself. Don't let anyone in your head. You can be ruler of the universe, if you beleive it. ;)
  • Squidgeypaws007
    Squidgeypaws007 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    One response for that one: I can lose this weight, but you'll always be a moron.

    Sorry you had to deal with that though, just use it to fuel yourself as you are doing - he'll always be a loser but you'll complete your journey.

    Good luck :)
  • JenW1973
    JenW1973 Posts: 82 Member
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    You are strong and amazing and your story is making me tear up. The cruelty of people like that is unbelievable. I'm so glad that it motivated you to exercise and continue on your weight loss journey. The alternatives are far worse. (((hugs))) Keep up the great work and just know that karma WILL come back to bit that man in the tush one of these days. Perhaps he'll say something stupid to the wrong guy in a bar and that guy will beat him to a pulp. He'd deserve it.
  • BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass
    BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass Posts: 181
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    Classic little peni* syndrome I wouldn't sweat it! Some ppl are stuck on stupid!. Sorry he hurt your feelings!
  • Hmrjmr1
    Hmrjmr1 Posts: 1,106 Member
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    You took it, you cried and you got over it. ummm Maam You are WINNING

    Concur - use the stupid to get smart, turn thatt crap into energy and use it up. Keep after it lass you are stronger than you know. Hoooah to ya.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    Karma is a b*tch. Remember that <3
  • Marillian
    Marillian Posts: 3,892 Member
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    I would have said, "I may be fat, but you're stupid, and you can't fix stupid."

    As much as it hurt you, don't allow him or his words to have power over you. Shrug it off, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep on being the fabulous person that you are. People like that do not deserve your time or the energy you expended in crying and feeling bad. He's got bigger problems if he's walking around drunk.
  • acfkaren
    acfkaren Posts: 60 Member
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    I am so so sorry that someone could be so incredibly cruel - people make me soooooooooooooooooooooooo angry at times!!!!!!!!!!!! You have been given good advise. Keep your chin up chest out and pity his low intelligance.
  • healthynursein2015
    healthynursein2015 Posts: 16 Member
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    And we wonder why there is a problem with bullying in our schools , when even the adults cant hold their crude rude comments. Rember he was drunk! So sorry this happened to you dont give him the power on rembering what he said and letting it destroy you. You did the right thing cried felt the hurt then the next morning did something about it and took the power away from him. I bet he was not up and walking a good healthy walk the next morning. GOOD FOR YOU MOVING ON . Now try to forget about it . This is not who you are .
  • BigMomma742
    BigMomma742 Posts: 46 Member
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    I would have coughed on him and said, "I have TB, too."

    But that is why my friends can't take me anywhere.

    Just TB? Awesome. LMAO when I read this. I love it when the right words come out of my mouth and leave my friends speechless, and I don't even know what I've done. Great advice ;)
  • brentdaniels
    brentdaniels Posts: 127
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    I don't know why I am amazed at the stupidity and ignorance of people. What a sad little life when you feel better about yourself by putting down other people.
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
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    I would have said, "I may be fat, but you're stupid, and you can't fix stupid."

    As much as it hurt you, don't allow him or his words to have power over you. Shrug it off, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep on being the fabulous person that you are. People like that do not deserve your time or the energy you expended in crying and feeling bad. He's got bigger problems if he's walking around drunk.
    You took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to suggest she say something like, "I can lose weight, but you'll always be a fill-in-the-blank..."
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
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    I'm normally quite a strong person and don't really let anyone who says anything affect me, but on Friday, that all changed..!

    I was out with friends for a long brunch (my "cheat" meal for the month) and some random (albeit drunk) man was walking around with his girlfriend and said to her 'let's get away from here because that woman is fat".. in ear shot!!! I asked him what he said and he repeated it, looking directly at me, "what, you are really fat"... my only response was that I couldn't help it if he was an "a'hole"... but the damage was done, I was devastated, still am. I held myself together, until I got in a taxi and then bawled my eyes out for an hour until I fell asleep... how does he not know what affect this could have on someone, what if they weren't as strong as I am??

    How can anyone be that cruel..! It is clearly up to you what you think, but why would you say something so offensive to someone your walking past, whether you know them or not..!

    I used to be "less cuddly" but through a year of ups and downs and stress and tragedy, I've gained around 60 pounds... I started work on finding myself again at the beginning of June and shed 9 of them so far. My journey's only just beginning but people like that don't help... although I woke up the next morning and went for a 5km walk in searing heat - so I guess, sucks to be him (probably cuddling a toilet bowl somewhere) because what he did, made me get up the next morning to ensure I got my exercise in..! I'm a "shrinking healthily" 226 pound woman with feelings, damn it!

    I am so so sorry:( I'm glad you managed to pick yourself back up again though, it shows just how strong you are. As much as it hurts, there are people like him out there. Do you know what though, people like that just say hurtful things to make themselves feel better, focus on you and your health, keep going, you've got this xxx
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    *(*(*hugs*)*)* I am so sorry that people are such *kitten*. I completely know where you are coming from. I've had people yell things at me from their cars, from their houses, it just boggles my mind that these people are able to still walk around with such a lack of manners or empathy for others.

    I know you know this, but: You. Are. BEAUTIFUL. JUST as you are. If you change, let it be because YOU want to, not because of what anyone else said or did. Don't ever let them have that much power over you.
  • hothodgie
    hothodgie Posts: 258 Member
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    I am so sorry this happened to you. But I am so proud you are handling the right way. You are a beautiful person. Nobody can take that away from you. Good luck for continued success! We can all do this!! Losers be damned.
  • SP2Bfit
    SP2Bfit Posts: 114
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    It really is unfortunate that some people get pleasure out of being cruel to others. So sorry that you encountered one such person.

    It is likely that no matter what you said to that man it would have had little impact, no matter if you attempted to be hurtful to him or educate him. Since he said what he did without any discretion and he repeated it without any remorse to your face when you called him on it, it would seem his regard for social ettiquite is minimal. He would've likely been equally cruel to anyone who he came across who had characteristics outside of his ideal (whether it be weight, sexual preference, physical disability, race, etc., etc.), especially if he though he could negatively influence how that person felt about himself/herself.

    Your best defense against idiots like that is to develop a strong self concept and self esteem. THE ONLY PERSON'S OPINON ABOUT YOU THAT MATTERS IS YOURS!! Learning to love yourself for your strengths and what you are doing to overcome your weaknesses is crucial and needs to be cultivated on a daily basis. Start paying attention to the self talk going on in your head...if it is full of self criticism and doubt start working on changing it...even though it might feel hokey, consider daily affirmations/telling yourself 5 positive things about yourself every morning and every evening--and you need to work on believing it. If you can get yourself to believe the positive things you are saying to yourself you will likely care less about what some yahoo thinks or says (I know it is easier said than done and I still have to work on this myself). You, me, and everyone else on here are likely going to continue to encounter people who say things that make us doubt some aspect about ourselves--even after the weight loss has been accomplished--so learning to tune out those whose opinions are irrelevant is a great skill to work on.

    Glad that you channelled your frustrations to positive vs. negative. Best of luck in reaching your goals!:flowerforyou:

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