(some of the) American guys...

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  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?


    respectful of his parents? does this mean he still lives at home? errr.... how old is this guy?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?

    What I mean by "it's you" is that if every American man you have dated behaves this way, this is what you are attracting by the vibe you're putting out. I don't mean he necessarily doesn't like you.

    But if this is the ONLY American man you've dated who behaves this way (even if he's the only American man you've dated), then how can you say this is some kind of trend or common trait among American men?
  • crobl
    crobl Posts: 380
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    okay...here's my rant on the subject... who cares if the guy pays or not? I make good money so I have no problem paying for myself or my guy. I didn't realize women in America spent years pushing for equality just so we can piss and moan about not being treated like a princess!

    I had a first date the other day - he told me point blank that he just bought a car the week before (which is true, it still has the temp. plates) and couldn't really afford anything fancy. So, he took me to an old-school drive in and then out to a part to watch fireworks.
    Did he pay? Yes.
    Did I also pull out my wallet? YES!
    Did he tell me to put it away? Also yes.
    Did I think he was a gentleman? Yes.
    Was it because he paid? HELL NO.
    It was because he opened the door for me, because he looked in my eyes when we talked, because he held my hand when I slipped on a grassy hill, and because unlike men in my past, when he said he'd call me the next day - HE DID.

    If as women we keep getting caught up in who pays the check - then maybe you should just stop dating!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    american guys suck.

    right?!?!?

    thanks goodness that they suck ;)

    :flowerforyou: :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    so for you "non-cheap american guys out there." ..do u always pay? do u let girls pay when they offer? how far along into the relationship do u keep paying for dates? i've heard some ppl say just on the first date but i'm interested in what u boys will say about this one since u are not cheap skates and all...
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    Let me help you OP.

    Being a Serbian guy in America I can attest to people here being alot bigger cheapstakes than in Serbia where money is much more scarce. But I don't think you can call this a problem or slap an American label on it. People in Serbia are more different in their ways or culture than most people and always looking to please guests/friends. Going out with Serbian friends can be more of a drag as we always argue over who has the privilege of paying the bill. I'm not going to say either way is right or wrong, nor pass judgement on people.

    THIS! i don't like serbian guys in particular but i am used to guy paying a bill. but i don't expect that!
  • NevrOvr
    NevrOvr Posts: 33 Member
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    i don't mind being spoiled :) i am not a feminist or stand for woman's rights or whatever, i do let the guy pay on a date but i don't do it for too long, i am always more comfortable when i pay for myself.
    and this is not just one guy, there is a certain stereotype about american guys (again, this is not meant to offend anyone, i am a serbian and most of you will immediately think, terrorist) :)
    i don't know what to say because a guy made me feel like i demanded from him to spend too much.

    I love the part about not standing for women's rights. Ha! A woman not standing for women's rights. That is so refreshing.

    Is this even a real post? Come on...gender inequality and nationalism? Trouble maker! :laugh:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    okay...here's my rant on the subject... who cares if the guy pays or not? I make good money so I have no problem paying for myself or my guy. I didn't realize women in America spent years pushing for equality just so we can piss and moan about not being treated like a princess!

    I had a first date the other day - he told me point blank that he just bought a car the week before (which is true, it still has the temp. plates) and couldn't really afford anything fancy. So, he took me to an old-school drive in and then out to a part to watch fireworks.
    Did he pay? Yes.
    Did I also pull out my wallet? YES!
    Did he tell me to put it away? Also yes.
    Did I think he was a gentleman? Yes.
    Was it because he paid? HELL NO.
    It was because he opened the door for me, because he looked in my eyes when we talked, because he held my hand when I slipped on a grassy hill, and because unlike men in my past, when he said he'd call me the next day - HE DID.

    If as women we keep getting caught up in who pays the check - then maybe you should just stop dating!

    i agree that paying doesnt define a gentleman, most guys with a lot of money who pay for everything because they have money to wipe their butts with are complete A-holes....but i dont think its fair for u to bash on her becuz she met a cheap guy and is frustrated. i wudnt even go to date #2 with someone who was whining and complaining about money.
    if he doesnt have money to go out and do stuff, HE shudnt be dating!
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    so for you "non-cheap american guys out there." ..do u always pay? do u let girls pay when they offer? how far along into the relationship do u keep paying for dates? i've heard some ppl say just on the first date but i'm interested in what u boys will say about this one since u are not cheap skates and all...

    I usually put down the credit card in a non obvious way and will only allow her to pay until after we have slept together. (women always get one free.) ;)
  • BenderFitness
    BenderFitness Posts: 349
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    It was very rude of him to complain like that throughout the date, especially as you were paying your own way most of the time. To me the way he was acting is the bigger issue than who is paying. I wouldn't worry about it to much. If you're just a couple of dates in and there is that much negativity it's not a good sign.

    I don't think (most) American men are stingy. There are just certain individuals (regardless of nationality) that are cheaper than others. Unfortunately, I know more females that take advantage of men (and their wallets) then the other way around. Most women that I know can go out for a night on the town without paying for much (maybe the first cover charge, and 1 drink). Most of the men I know don't like to let a woman pay for anything on a date (even when they offer).
  • Laoch_Cailin
    Laoch_Cailin Posts: 414 Member
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    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?

    Amm you could try asking him!! Or maybe suggest cheaper date options like walks in the park and a picnic, cinema...something like that
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?
    Wait....his parents? Does he live with his parents? Does he have a job? Some people really are on a tight budget, but I'd be wondering what this person is doing with his life that he can't even afford to buy dinner. This probably says less about Americans and more about the guys you are choosing to date.
  • zela
    zela Posts: 92 Member
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    Let me help you OP.

    Being a Serbian guy in America I can attest to people here being alot bigger cheapstakes than in Serbia where money is much more scarce. But I don't think you can call this a problem or slap an American label on it. People in Serbia are more different in their ways or culture than most people and always looking to please guests/friends. Going out with Serbian friends can be more of a drag as we always argue over who has the privilege of paying the bill. I'm not going to say either way is right or wrong, nor pass judgement on people.

    THIS! i don't like serbian guys in particular but i am used to guy paying a bill. but i don't expect that!

    Yes, this is the same reason I don't like Serbian girls. They are usually spoiled little snobs expecting to be catered to for every little thing for doing absolutely nothing.
  • YokoJ
    YokoJ Posts: 253
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    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?

    wait??!! his parents?? does this mean he is living off mommy and daddy? THAT would be my concern vs him not wanting to spend money.


    Lmfao!!!! You read my mind!
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Most of the men I know don't like to let a woman pay for anything on a date (even when they offer).

    this^^^.

    i'm from latin america, men are very traditional and dont usually ever let the girl pay. they dont ever want to feel inferior i think but more than anything its kind of like a gesture to show he can take care of her financially and in other ways.
    I think its more common in the U.S. that i saw the women paying for their own thing on dates.

    dont get me wrong, i would treat my guy sometimes and pick up the whole check not just pay for my stuff but it just didnt happen that often. did i mind doing it? not at all. was he grateful, yup.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    so you are then really complaining that his parents don't pay for him to take girls out...how rude of them. This has nothing to do with his nationality. It is bc he is a poor college student...not because he is an American tightwad.
  • tsaarloos
    tsaarloos Posts: 58 Member
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    Seriously, on a 1st date?! I'd think twice about seeing him again, because usually we're on our "best" behavior when getting to know someone... It stands to reason, that it would only get worse...get out while you still can. Just my opinion. Good Luck :) And I don't think this had anything to do w/being American, more like inproper manners or "issues" that run pretty deep.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    While the complaining would be totally annoying....is some fiscal responsibility in this economy really a bad thing? I wasn't aware there was a salary requirement for dating; should I have checked my boyfriend's paycheck stubs before going out with him? A meal, movie, and a bottle of wine at home is pretty inexpensive and can be just as nice (if not nicer) than a fancy dinner out somewhere.

    And I don't really think this is an "American" thing...I've only dated American men and there have been those who throw money around like it's nothing and those who have to watch their spending more closely. Perhaps you're dating the wrong men (for what you're looking for) in general.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    If you are a woman who wants to be a wife and mother and stay home with the children, you will appreciate a good husband who is a family man and provider...these experiences will help you to appreciate that man! So be wise in who you spend time with, and be the type of woman that man would choose as his wife!!!

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