Someone threatened me
Replies
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I'm not American, so the "get yourself a gun and training" suggestions were a surprise.
I was in the military for 16 years and I know that you should not carry a weapon unless you know what you are doing and what you intend to do with it and fully accept the consequences of your actions should you use it. As it is, drawing a gun on someone will certainly "inflame" the situation and could result in the death of one of you - probably you if you are frightened by guns and the person you are up against is violent. Killing someone is not an easy thing to do at all.
This "sounds" like a one off by someone who reacted very verbally aggressively to what he considered an invasion of his privacy. I would suggest keeping your head down and not taking any photos for a while... and certainly not when he's in the area. For all you know he is on the run or he's a head case (or both). You could get a panic alarm or pepper spray, but bear in mind that this is (currently) a one off and you have no idea what he was thinking nor why when he said those things, so hopefully it will never happen again. If it does, then if you didnt provoke it in any way, then call the police and get advice.
Until then, take precautions, but try and forget it, I'm sure he will have. He was probably drunk and cant even remember it.0 -
What state do you live in? If its a pro gun state, GO GET YOUR CONCEALED HANDGUN LISCENSE!
So sorry to hear that that happend. UGH. Some people. Nothing like having a snub nose 38 in your bra or purse ready to go if needed.
Agreed0 -
I hate this mentality...I am sorry but this is exactly what is wrong with the world. If it is broke, don't fix it...just get a new one.im scared for u girl i would move somewhere else
I disagree. We only get one life as far as I know. Also, living in fear is horrible. It ruins your sleep as you're listening constantly for that window or door to open or that footstep on the floor. It changes your outlook on everything. I had a neighbor crawling through the shared crawlspace of a duplex I lived in, creeping around over my head on a regular basis. His wife told me he was crazy, and that she was crazy jealous of him (as if I would have wanted him!). I moved out of there as quick as I could.
It doesn't sound like she can afford to move right now, but if she can, I think she should.
It is not the moving part that gets me....every one should move to where they will be happy if and when they can...duh that's life...you always want better for your self. it is the i am scared run away concept that I can't stand. where I live the people in my neighborhood would not stand for a man like that. we gang up on them together....we didn't run away from the ghetto that moved in next door, we banded together to face it head on to take back our neighborhood. just because it was broke, we didn't buy a new one, we fixed it ourselves...maybe that is what op needs to do...along with speaking with another officer...form a block watch.
In Chicago people tried that.. Get the ghetto out and take back the neighborhoods and what happens? More people get shot and the death rate goes up even higher.
Unless OP has some sort of weapon, police force or training, this would not be an option I would suggest.
Why would you put yourself in danger for the sake of standing up for yourself? I know that I personally want to keep myself out of harms way.. not stick myself right in the middle of it!0 -
on the weapons front, i would get a taser or pepper spray
unless you are prepared to use a larger weapon
Pepper spray is cheap and extremely effective on any size person
and some kinds come with dyes in them that will semi permanently dye the attackers face that way they are VERY easily identified. 0 -
I hate this mentality...I am sorry but this is exactly what is wrong with the world. If it is broke, don't fix it...just get a new one.im scared for u girl i would move somewhere else
I disagree. We only get one life as far as I know. Also, living in fear is horrible. It ruins your sleep as you're listening constantly for that window or door to open or that footstep on the floor. It changes your outlook on everything. I had a neighbor crawling through the shared crawlspace of a duplex I lived in, creeping around over my head on a regular basis. His wife told me he was crazy, and that she was crazy jealous of him (as if I would have wanted him!). I moved out of there as quick as I could.
It doesn't sound like she can afford to move right now, but if she can, I think she should.
It is not the moving part that gets me....every one should move to where they will be happy if and when they can...duh that's life...you always want better for your self. it is the i am scared run away concept that I can't stand. where I live the people in my neighborhood would not stand for a man like that. we gang up on them together....we didn't run away from the ghetto that moved in next door, we banded together to face it head on to take back our neighborhood. just because it was broke, we didn't buy a new one, we fixed it ourselves...maybe that is what op needs to do...along with speaking with another officer...form a block watch.
In Chicago people tried that.. Get the ghetto out and take back the neighborhoods and what happens? More people get shot and the death rate goes up even higher.
Unless OP has some sort of weapon, police force or training, this would not be an option I would suggest.
Why would you put yourself in danger for the sake of standing up for yourself? I know that I personally want to keep myself out of harms way.. not stick myself right in the middle of it!
A block watch is a GROUP of people that look out for each other....so if the op had others to stand by her that day you dont think a group surrounding her would have made one guy back down?? i am not saying op needs to go running to this guy and confront him...but get a group of people that want to help watch each others backs.
Its like this guy is being a bully....what do we teach our kids about bullies....to find a grown up. ok so op called the cops...they did nothing. so what would you tell your kids next...i would tell them to use the buddy system...to find friends to hang with because a bully is less likely to attack a group.... that's what a block watch is...if the attackers know there is a group of people watching out for on another...well they are less likely to attack that place/person again. there is power in numbers js0 -
Restraining orders are only there to tell the cops that hey, this guy was not supposed to come near her. I have seen these things work almost zero times. The only thing that these guys understand is staring down the barrel of a 38 or a black belt. Shove his $@#S into is throat.
Restraining orders in the law enforcement field are called evidence for the murder trial. That's pretty much all they're good for. But still worth pursuing so at least there's a paper trail if he threatens her again. It can sometimes help the police do more than just pat her on the back.
I can't imagine why they wouldn't take it seriously, though.0 -
What state do you live in? If its a pro gun state, GO GET YOUR CONCEALED HANDGUN LISCENSE! So sorry to hear that that happend. UGH. Some people. Nothing like having a snub nose 38 in your bra or purse ready to go if needed.
I totally agree ... go to your local PD get the application for concealed carry permit. Go buy a gun, go sign up for classes, and tell yourself daily "I will be no ones victim".
Truth be told cops do not stop crime they only report on it. Dont let the report be about you. Restraining orders stop sane rational people, sounds to me like you are dealing with a lunatic. Please protect yourself, you are the only one who can.0 -
I'm going to be blunt. How you were treated is bulls&%t! You were threatened, the police should have done more. It makes me wonder if he has a record or is on parole. ANYTIME someone threatens you, call the police. it is the only way to stop it. TKs for letting me rant, I have been assaulted.0
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Wow! I'm glad I live in the UK!0
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cant afford a gun, cant get pepper spray... WASP spray. It will blind the person you spray it at and not only that the range is like 50+ feet. All stores sell it pretty cheap. Carry it in your bag and if he approaches USE IT!0
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Where do you live that police don't arrest for uttering threats?
Where I live that's a legitimate crime that arrests ARE made for and they do make it to court. Try calling the station (not 911) and see if another officer maybe has a bit more of a brain?0 -
was this a stranger or someone that you know?
what's the context of this?
to answer your question i really have no idea what i would have done. i know that i have been in dangerous situations with strange men where i immediately went into FIGHT mode.. i guess how i would react would depend a lot on if he physically touched me... just talking i'd be wary and back away with out taking my eyes off him.. but physically touching me in a threatening manner, i turn into ferocious beast mode at that point and i go for soft gooey area like throats and eyeballs
^^^ This! If this never happened before the guy might have been hyped up on drugs or drunk. It may never happen again, but if I were you I would be a bit more wary. It sucks that you have to be tense in your own neighborhood. I like the idea of a gun, (again, with training) though I collect swords and knives so I usually feel pretty comfortable in my house. However if he actually does have a gun, wouldn't make much of a difference. I wold also call the cops again or your neighborhood watch to see if they can at least keep an eye on this guy.0 -
Coming from a C.J. major (in Law Enforcement)
I am saddened that the police officer who arrived on scene basically did nothing and didn't even take the time to write the report.
It would be nice to have that documented and on file for you protection:mad:
I say take self defense classes, sad to say but move to a safer neighborhood or get on the police nerves and every time he comes by or threatens you call 911. Sooner or later they will and can arrest him for assault(verbal), and you could go to court and get a restraining order.
I am so sorry about this, and I would take it very seriously to the fullest extinct. Now a days people are crazy and will do just about anything. I am not trying to scare you but just being honest. I pray everything works out for you, and please be extra careful.:yawn:0 -
Forget the CCP.
You are in California and the cost is absolutly stupid.
However, you CAN buy a shotgun for home defense.
Obviously it won't do you any good outside of your homw but, if the dirtbag decides to break in, it will be the last mistake he ever makes.
Load the first round with birdshot for a gaurenteed hit. The rest are slugs.
You can pickup a used 12 gauge on the cheap.0 -
A gun is a bad idea. Unless you have training you are going to miss and maybe get shot. Depending on the state there are lots of options. You can try giving the Guardian Angels a call. http://www.guardianangels.org/chapters.php
He recommended getting a concealed weapons permit...this would require a minimum of an eight hour class (pending which state you're in) in which you are educated on gun safety and tested on your ability to shoot. I'm all about one's right to bear arms....although I will say more states should require background checks on persons taking permit classes/purchasing firearms.
Thank GOD I live in NH. Wet to the PD grabbed the application filled it out, turned it in with my check. Following week had my permit. Took classes on my own and practice when I can. 11 miles from my home a woman was brutally murdered by a bunch of teenage punks. LIVE FREE OR DIE0 -
I am not sure what I would do....maybe just pray for him....
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I hate this mentality...I am sorry but this is exactly what is wrong with the world. If it is broke, don't fix it...just get a new one.im scared for u girl i would move somewhere else
I disagree. We only get one life as far as I know. Also, living in fear is horrible. It ruins your sleep as you're listening constantly for that window or door to open or that footstep on the floor. It changes your outlook on everything. I had a neighbor crawling through the shared crawlspace of a duplex I lived in, creeping around over my head on a regular basis. His wife told me he was crazy, and that she was crazy jealous of him (as if I would have wanted him!). I moved out of there as quick as I could.
It doesn't sound like she can afford to move right now, but if she can, I think she should.
It is not the moving part that gets me....every one should move to where they will be happy if and when they can...duh that's life...you always want better for your self. it is the i am scared run away concept that I can't stand. where I live the people in my neighborhood would not stand for a man like that. we gang up on them together....we didn't run away from the ghetto that moved in next door, we banded together to face it head on to take back our neighborhood. just because it was broke, we didn't buy a new one, we fixed it ourselves...maybe that is what op needs to do...along with speaking with another officer...form a block watch.
In Chicago people tried that.. Get the ghetto out and take back the neighborhoods and what happens? More people get shot and the death rate goes up even higher.
Unless OP has some sort of weapon, police force or training, this would not be an option I would suggest.
Why would you put yourself in danger for the sake of standing up for yourself? I know that I personally want to keep myself out of harms way.. not stick myself right in the middle of it!
A block watch is a GROUP of people that look out for each other....so if the op had others to stand by her that day you dont think a group surrounding her would have made one guy back down?? i am not saying op needs to go running to this guy and confront him...but get a group of people that want to help watch each others backs.
Its like this guy is being a bully....what do we teach our kids about bullies....to find a grown up. ok so op called the cops...they did nothing. so what would you tell your kids next...i would tell them to use the buddy system...to find friends to hang with because a bully is less likely to attack a group.... that's what a block watch is...if the attackers know there is a group of people watching out for on another...well they are less likely to attack that place/person again. there is power in numbers js
If the guy was truly crazy No.. I don't think he would have would have backed down. Plus what is OP going to do? Call a bunch of people on her cell phone right then and there going Um so I'm standing outside with this crazy guy and I need help and magically everyone will be home and come running? I don't think so. The likely hood of enough people being home when OP needs them, is slim to none.
Neighborhood watches have their place..but in this situation, I don't think it's nearly enough just to have people watching out for her. She needs to know how to protect herself so that if she encounters this man again and she's alone, then she can do something about it.0 -
A gun is a bad idea. Unless you have training you are going to miss and maybe get shot. Depending on the state there are lots of options. You can try giving the Guardian Angels a call. http://www.guardianangels.org/chapters.php
He recommended getting a concealed weapons permit...this would require a minimum of an eight hour class (pending which state you're in) in which you are educated on gun safety and tested on your ability to shoot. I'm all about one's right to bear arms....although I will say more states should require background checks on persons taking permit classes/purchasing firearms.
Thank GOD I live in NH. Wet to the PD grabbed the application filled it out, turned it in with my check. Following week had my permit. Took classes on my own and practice when I can. 11 miles from my home a woman was brutally murdered by a bunch of teenage punks. LIVE FREE OR DIE
I'm not sure how I feel about this...I really do feel like there should be some training and testing. I mean, if all you do is go get an application and are granted a permit without any proof of your ability any idiot could just go get a handgun permit. AND I am in no way, shape or form implying you don't know how to handle a handgun (kudos for following up with classes on your own)...just saying that there are some people who could and probably would get their handgun permit just because they can and they think it's cool.0 -
I'm a photographer and I've had people freak a little when they thought I'd taken their photo (I didn't) but nothing like what you experienced.
PLEASE tell your neighbors!
Consider keeping your dog inside with you instead of leaving him unattended outside.
Yes on taking self-defense classes if possible, the bat//golf club by the door, carrying pepper spray, some very loud whistle, etc... If you have a sliding glass door then cut down a pool cue or broomstick and leave it in the track.
Yes, contact your police department again and see if they're all useless or if it was just those responding officers.
Stay alert ALL the time.
As far as confronting him, well, I'd advise against it. It could inflame him more and he might escalate from threats to acts. I recently read Gavin deBecker's "Gift of Fear" and according to him interacting with the person can take the situation to an even more violent level, or at the very least, buy you further "interactions" with this guy.
deBecker has an interesting section about restraining orders--according to him half the time they work and the other half it incites the offender to even more violent action. It seems like it boils down to what another poster said: Its efficacy depends on the police department. Another factor is whether the person named in the restraining order is reasonable enough to realize it means they need to back off. If it's possible that they're the type who takes anything like that as a challenge to their authority then all it may do is make them think have to go teach you a lesson. How the hell do you know??
Not interacting with him does NOT mean you need to hide.0 -
Call the police again (or go to the station), something should have been done. I am not an officer but I've been working for my local sheriffs office for 12yrs. I would also suggest a restraining order. Yes if he really wants to harm you or someone a piece of paper wont stop him, but he can be charged if he comes anywhere near you or contacts you in any way (text, calling, or in person). If you have to request to speak to a supervisor.0
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Here's my recommendation, as someone has has been there.
1. Try to get a restraining order against this perp. If you get it, then if this guy gets in your face for another threat, he's broken it and goes to jail.
2. Take a self-defense class. A GOOD one. Good is defined by a class that teaches you how to break holds and hurt the guy enough to get away. Don't settle for one night class, either. Multiple nights help to reinforce it. Find girlfriends to go with you so you can practice on each other regularly after that so you don't forget. If you have the means, I recommend taking regular martial arts classes with a belt/degree system so you get it ingrained.
3. Carry something that you can use to hurt him. It doesn't have to be a gun. Pepper spray or mace can work as well for the jerk who likes to stop and gloat first. Heck, if it comes right down to that you can stab him in the eye with a lipstick and then run while he's rubbing his eyes.
I would avoid guns. The answer to a gun is a bigger gun. You need a lot of training to make good use of a gun, typically. But that's my opinion. Having never lived in or visited California, that's not my expertise there.0 -
Call the police again (or go to the station), something should have been done. I am not an officer but I've been working for my local sheriffs office for 12yrs. I would also suggest a restraining order. Yes if he really wants to harm you or someone a piece of paper wont stop him, but he can be charged if he comes anywhere near you or contacts you in any way (text, calling, or in person). If you have to request to speak to a supervisor.
Oh and def tell as many of your neighbors as poss!!! It will keep them alert to anything going on with him. Keep your dog inside and a self defense class would prob be a good idea. I'm against the you carrying a gun idea. Dont threaten him back!!0 -
Seriously can not believe that guns are just an everyday thing in america...it's scary!! :noway:
I thought the same thing. It's sounds so weird. And please, I"m not insulting Americans. But a Canadian wouldn't even have that option. We couldn't even buy pepper spray. The best we could do is go to an outdoors/camping store and buy some bear spray.0 -
Carry a hard object in your hand when you are outside. Doesn't have to be large, just enough to fit in your hand. When and if he presents himself again take said object and knock him in the wind pipe. If he can't breath he can't do anything. Then take advantage give a couple good swift kicks to other choice areas, joints are a good spot as they are the weaker part of the extremities. Snap his leg.
Make sure he is on your property when defending yourself. Then call the police and have him hauled away. He may think twice about bothering you again.0 -
I have never spoken a word to this man. I was taking pictures and he thought i was taking a picture of him. Thats when he spewed all that crap to me. I have seen this man trying to break into my neighbors house before. Those are the only times I have seen him.
1. I cannot move. I cannot afford it
2. I did nothing wrong. Wrong place at the wrong time.
3. There are only 4 patrol cars in my town. Since I live in a **** neighborhood they are around but sometimes it takes 30+ minutes to get them to my house.
4. I haven't had much luck with police officers. The one I spoke with today was one of the better ones.
5. I can't afford the gun or classes. I am unemployed.
OK so heres what to do...
1.alot of civic places offer women defense courses for FREE. Find one, find many, take them often.
2.get a whistle, rape whistle is best, but if too costly then get a referee whistle. When you see this guy blow it, dont wait for him to approach you. Be proactive. Blow the whistle so that other people will be watching too.
3. Get WASP spray. It can spray up to 50+ feet. There are some horrible chemicals in there and it would be very effective in stopping him. WASP spray is cheap enough and no special permits to carry it.
4. Try to spend little time outside your apartment without a buddy. There is strength in numbers.
5. Any contact he has with you call the police. If you have call 15x a day. Maybe then they will find something that they can do within their jurisdiction.
I wish you much luck and safety in your situation. Please keep us all updated. And feel free to add me as a friend if you want to.0 -
oh man what did you do to him?
I REALLY hope your comment was a case of not thinking it through before posting, which happens to us all. For some people the fact that you EXIST is enough of a "reason".0 -
Seriously can not believe that guns are just an everyday thing in america...it's scary!! :noway:
I thought the same thing. It's sounds so weird. And please, I"m not insulting Americans. But a Canadian wouldn't even have that option. We couldn't even buy pepper spray. The best we could do is go to an outdoors/camping store and buy some bear spray.
Well thats how we became Americans now isnt it. We are our own militia. I can not imagine waiting for a police officer to arrive to protect me. The crime would be over and done with by the time they show up. Where I live we have one cop and he goes home at 10pm. The coyotes and bears get too close to my house, saying shoo wont make them go away. I need protection. There are parts of America where guns are not allowed, but I live in NH and our motto is Live Free or Die! God Bless.0 -
You're only 28. Where are the men in your life? Dad? Big Brother? Male friends?
I have 3 daughters. One of them is your age. They would have come to me with this issue and I would have taken care of it.
Reach out to someone.0 -
I wouldn't get a weapon - unless you are good with them, they are easily taken off you and turned on you. Agree with previous poster, reach out to the men in your life for support.0
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oh man what did you do to him?
I really do not like this comment.
Neither do I. In fact, it made me want to throw something across the room. Why is it that people assume the woman must have done something to provoke the guy (and even if she did, that doesn't make what he said/did acceptable), rather than that the guy is a ****ing nutjob?0
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