Someone threatened me
Replies
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In England, he would have been arrested for making threats to kill, for threatening behaviour, and being as guns are illegal here, had his home raided and his guns taken and then gone to prison.
I am SO glad I don't live in America, it sounds like a scary place to me. Poor you, what a horrible thing to happen :flowerforyou:0 -
What can you do really..? Other than try to learn from it and protect yourself next time (pepper sprays your best shot). Guns are typical, only in MERICA! Its illegal to have a weapon of any sorts here... Unless its licensed and not used for protection..
If you really have a problem, go talk to the police about it. I'm sure you won't see this man again.
I am ex-military police & tell this to all my femaly family members & friends. Some states view pepper/mace spray as a weapon. An easier way is to buy insect spray for wasps/bees. They have a range of 29 feet while most pepper/mace is less than 10 feet. You don't need any kind of permit, don't need to get near the perp AND anyone srayed in the eyes MUST go to an E/R or be permanently blind.
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Rude in your online name? It fits! What are you doing - blaming the victim? This lady is scared to death, and rightfully so. And you want to know what SHE did to him???????0
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youneed to go back to the police department, charges need to be laid
that is sexual harrassment
threats
and probably all sorts of other charges
go back to the police department, if you need to speak with someone higher up, do it
or go to google, type in 'the line' and send them an email and they will provide further guidance
good for you for seeking additional help
This!!!! ^^ No charges, no police report, wtf????0 -
I can't see how this wasn't terrorist threats...he said he had a gun and that he would shoot you. There were also sexual statements made. I would go to the chief of police about it, the mayor and maybe even the newspaper. Don't take this lying down. Make as big of a scene about this as you can and let your friends and family know. The squeeky wheel gets the oil. I would also move....I don't care if you have a job or not. Would you rather be dead? I'd live in my car across town if I had to.0
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I'm sorry it happened. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except what you already have, and
1. Document everything. Write down exactly what happened when and where. Be as specific as possible.
2. Keep documenting - keep a small notebook by your front door or in your purse and each time you see him any where near you write down where - when - what he was doing (even if he doesn't approach you).
3. Try not to be a victim - stay safe, be aware of your surroundings, walk with your head up not down.
4. Take a self defense class or have someone you know teach you how and where to hit or kick someone enough to get away - if you know anyone who works in corrections or the police force see if they will teach you the trick to bring someone down using just their hand.
Most Important: If you have to use what you learn it then do - and RUN and YELL. Unfortunately in today's world the best thing to yell is FIRE! People are going to stay away from a HELP because they are afraid to get involved.:ohwell:
Let people know around you what is happening - people will keep an eye if they know there is a potential for violence in their neighbourhood.
Take care of yourself. Stay safe.0 -
I am all about independant women having the capabilty to protect themselves against thugs like this. But I have also been known to be a bit radical. LOL
I am female. I own guns (plural). I have had self-defense training, have received firearms training from a former Marine sharpshooter (or whatever the title is) and am planning to get my CCW. That said, I do NOT advocate that folks just run out and get a gun. If you are not comfortable firing a gun - and in particular, not comfortable with the mindset that you should only draw when you are prepared to kill (not just injure) - then you should not have a gun. Besides, if this guy is an imminent threat, then months of training (plus practice) is not practicable.
Carry wasp spray. It has a 20 foot range, sticks to whatever it lands on (aim for the eyes), and gives you the opportunity to GET AWAY (ultimately the goal).
Never approach him, but if he approaches you again, calmly tell him that he needs to leave you alone. If he gets close to you, and chooses to not let you be, then go insane. For real, yell, scream, flail, act crazy (let your inner 2 year old out). It'll get other people's attention and he won't expect it - he might even buzz off. If he gets within 10 feet of you, fire away with the wasp spray.
Practice scenarios at home, so you can react without thinking. If he approaches you, your adrenaline is going to be pumping like crazy. I read this recently (in regard to handling nerves in this kind of situation): You don't need to calm the butterflies, just get them to fly in formation.
Keep a notebook, and write down everything that happens, detailing dates and times. That way if you ever have to go to court, or present information to the police, you don't have to worry about remembering everything.
Good luck!0 -
If you happen to know if your neighbours are reasonable people who are also aware of this guy as a problem individual, I would get together with a few of them and discuss a strategy to keep an eye out for each other's person and property. Sort of like a micro-neighbourhood watch.0
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They didn't even take a report? Jeez! I was asleep one afternoon after getting out of the hospital and a bunch of kids got off the bus in front of my house and were all over my front yard. One of them was banging something and I thought it was another drive by shooting at the gang guy that lives three doors down. I don't know exactly what I said when I looked out the window. Something to the effect that I thought someone was shooting and to stop beating on the light pole in my front yard. I was still a bit groggy. Thirty minutes later, someone was BANGING on my front door. I woke me from a sound sleep and scared the Hell out of me. I was afraid to go to the door because of the way they were banging. There is a window right next to it and I didn't want whoever it was to see me and know I was home. I got out my gun and called 911 and told them someone was pounding on my door and wouldn't go away. They just kept pounding. I told the 911 operator that I felt very threatened and was chambering a round. I peeked around the corner and saw the sleeve of a police officer. I told 911 I was putting my gun down and opening the door and that it was the police. I was shaking and confused and still medicated. They started asking me questions about what I said to the kids. I couldn't tell them word for word, but basically to stop pounding on the light pole because I thought someone had opened fire out there. The kids had told a parent that was waiting that I said I was going to open fire on them. NOT what I said. While I was talking to the two officers that had shown up at my door, the 911 operator radioed one of them that I was armed. Next thing I knew I had 5 cops swarming my house, coming inside without my permission, asking for my gun, and running the serial number on it, with no warrant or real reason. They detained me in my living room and wouldn't even let me answer my phone. I finally told one of them, I was calling my husband to come home and unless they were going to arrest me there was nothing they could do about it. At that point they emptied my gun, handed me the bullets, and put my gun by the front door and beat it out of there. They took reports from the kids and the parent. The parent didn't even hear anything and the kids were lying! All that because they said I threatened them from my bedroom window. I can't believe the police in your town wouldn't even take a report! I believe you can go to the police station and tell them that you WANT to file one and they have to take it. Even if they don't do anything about it, if there is another incident, you have something on record that it's not the first time and they may take it more seriously.0
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I am all about independant women having the capabilty to protect themselves against thugs like this. But I have also been known to be a bit radical. LOL
I am female. I own guns (plural). I have had self-defense training, have received firearms training from a former Marine sharpshooter (or whatever the title is) and am planning to get my CCW. That said, I do NOT advocate that folks just run out and get a gun. If you are not comfortable firing a gun - and in particular, not comfortable with the mindset that you should only draw when you are prepared to kill (not just injure) - then you should not have a gun. Besides, if this guy is an imminent threat, then months of training (plus practice) is not practicable.
Carry wasp spray. It has a 20 foot range, sticks to whatever it lands on (aim for the eyes), and gives you the opportunity to GET AWAY (ultimately the goal).
Never approach him, but if he approaches you again, calmly tell him that he needs to leave you alone. If he gets close to you, and chooses to not let you be, then go insane. For real, yell, scream, flail, act crazy (let your inner 2 year old out). It'll get other people's attention and he won't expect it - he might even buzz off. If he gets within 10 feet of you, fire away with the wasp spray.
Practice scenarios at home, so you can react without thinking. If he approaches you, your adrenaline is going to be pumping like crazy. I read this recently (in regard to handling nerves in this kind of situation): You don't need to calm the butterflies, just get them to fly in formation.
Keep a notebook, and write down everything that happens, detailing dates and times. That way if you ever have to go to court, or present information to the police, you don't have to worry about remembering everything.
Good luck!
Excellent advice. Very practical and well thought out.0 -
Well, there certainly is a crime being committed in that scenario.1. Take your shotgun
2. Point it in his face
3. If he advances or threatens you again, pull the trigger
You people watch waaaaay too many movies.
yeah, this wasn't the most thorough scenerio. it just results in the woman who was already victimized a criminal.0 -
I'm like you, I'm single and live alone, but I have cats instead of a dog (my work schedule is unfair to a dog) so I had to learn to protect myself too. I talked to some of the Law Enforcement (LE) people I know (local, county, and FBI) and here are some suggestions between them and me:
1) Go to the patrol officer's supervisor or another officer at the station and talk to them. If they are like some of the small towns around here, the city force goes off duty at a certain time and the county sherriff takes over, go to the county if the city has that type of agreement (if your city's force is 24/7 exclusive, the county sherriff will not be able to help, it is out of their jurisdiction at that point) Make a pest of yourself, call every time this creep looks in your direction or if you see him trying to break into a house
2) Get motion sensor lights (or leave your outside lights on)
3) Talk to your neighbors, find out if they have had situations like this with this guy, if so that's all the more info for the LE. Talk to the neighbors about keeping an eye out for each other
4) NEVER confront this guy, all your going to do is get him even more worked up and things will go from bad to worse
5) Check your local community centers to see if they offer self defense classes, if they don't ask if they will if you find someone to teach it there (check with LE-both city and county and if you have state check with them too, ask anyone who teaches self defense), be proactive, volunteer to help arrange it so that way you can get the class
6) Don't get a gun if you are not prepared to use it. (I do have one, have been through the classes, and practice)
7) LIke others here have said, wasp spray is an excellent "weapon" so is aerosol hair spray get one of these (or both)
8) Keep the dog inside and when he/she needs to go out, take him/her on a leash even in a fenced in backyard (we had a neighbor poison our dog by throwing poisoned hamburger over our fence because we called the dog officer because they wouldn't keep their dog leashed or behind a fence and the dog was chasing cars and people all over the neighborhood)
9) When you are out, be aware of your surroundings, carry an airhorn (you can get them pocket sized) sound can be an effective weapon or deterrant to allow you to get away and to get the attention of others
10) Above all, stay safe and don't let this creep completely ruin your life.0 -
What he did is ASSAULT. Go to the police station, file that report. NOW.0
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^^^^^^^^^You're only 28. Where are the men in your life? Dad? Big Brother? Male friends?
I have 3 daughters. One of them is your age. They would have come to me with this issue and I would have taken care of it.
Reach out to someone.
THIS
Road Dog might be an older rooster, but I bet he can scrap.
Some little ladies don't have any big strong men in their lives to help, that's just a fact . From the age of 18 up until I got married at 33, I lived without any men in my life: step dad dead, real father, who knows, brother out of state, pansy *kitten* male friends that couldn't take care of themselves, let alone be bothered to help me, even if I wanted their help. No one that was willing to even help me lift a piece of heavy furniture, let alone stand in for me if I needed protection and, I hate to break it to you, there are a lot more single women around and about now that ever before that are independent and live the same way. My roommate and I were home when a guy began breaking into our house and we managed to shimmy out the window in time, just as the cops got there to capture him. For the remainder of our time in that apartment we had doors barred every night, mace at every window and a borrowed gun (both of us trained) just in case. Not everyone has the ideal situation, or ideal to your standards.
Look around you, I'm sure you know of at least a few women that are on their own without help (single, widowed, divorced). Are you going to help them? Do they want help?0 -
So a man threatened me today.
This is what he said
"I'm gonna show you my ***edited*** you stupid***edited*** . You don't know me. I have a gun. I'll shoot you. Go call the police ***edited*** and that is when the cops showed up.
However, the cops said that since he wasn't affiliated with a gang I shouldn't worry. They didn't even bother filling out a police report. Now, as a female when someone says they are going to shoot me, I consider this a threat.
I feel like I should have done more. Should I have gotten in his face? Should I have made threats back? This man lives in my neighborhood and I fear he is going to try something. Whether it be poisoning my dog, hurting me or destroying my property.
What could be done about this?
*** POST EDITED BY STAFF for violation of guideline #17
This is a direct threat. Qualifies for an assault charges. If you press hard enough this could be 12 month if jail for this misdemeanor charge.0 -
An explanation of why not would leave a more lasting impression more than , because I said so
Don't ever do this for any reason, ever.You should have said, what are you waiting for, flop it out and lemme see what you got. Then when his hands are full of pants and penis, kick him on the inside of his knee and run like youve been training to do.
Fair enough...
1. Read this...
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/639236-8-myths-about-self-defense-training
2. When someone is assaulted, even the most trained in combatives instantly go into shock. You will lose all fine motor skills and your mental capacity is reduced to 5 to 10 basic, rudimentary processes... such as "Guy bad. Guy means harm. Must get away." However, in most scenarios, victims freeze as their mind tries to rationalize the assailant's behavior. (See the article above for more information.)
3. The simple fact is, virtually no one on the planet would have the cognizant realization to "act" as you described above. This fact will become most prevalent when the attackers asserts a legal defense of "consent." When you are attacked, you have the right to get away... period. In other words, you "clearly weren't in fear of bodily harm... because you asked to see his penis."
4. "Baiting" someone into further behavior, as you described above:
- Puts your life at exponentially higher risk;
- Potentially establishes the legal precedent of "consent" on your behalf;
- Potentially establishes you as propagating a crime;
- Diminishes your ability to fight-and-flee;
- Establishes a formidable legal defense for your assailant, and;
- Is generally ridiculous on its face.
Or, "because I say so" also works.
Wow, I definitely know where to get any legal advice if I EVER need it in the future....Hope I don't need it for anything like the OP :{0 -
Go to the police and press charges. It's bull**** that the cops wouldn't do that in the first place.
In the future, carry mace or pepper spray with you. Apparently pepper spray is more effective in generally and especially on somebody who's drunk or high, so try for pepper spray if you can.0 -
I don't know what you can do to stop the possibility of him coming back but I would definately make a note of it for your own records. A complete beginning to end recollection of what happened that way if you do have another run in you can show there is a history. Second thing I would do is talk to the officer or sgt. where you are and tell them that although they may not be able to do much you do want a report of the situation on record.
I am not comfortable with guns myself so I tend to go the other way. But I would be extra vigilant of who is around you and what is happening. Keep a record of run ins.0 -
Thats wack! Maybe he was high on bath salts! Be glad he didnt try chewing your face off...SERIOUSLY! But if I were you, I would invest in pepper spray honey! And maybe a Doberman! Good luck!0
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A gun is a bad idea. Unless you have training you are going to miss and maybe get shot. Depending on the state there are lots of options. You can try giving the Guardian Angels a call. http://www.guardianangels.org/chapters.php
He recommended getting a concealed weapons permit...this would require a minimum of an eight hour class (pending which state you're in) in which you are educated on gun safety and tested on your ability to shoot. I'm all about one's right to bear arms....although I will say more states should require background checks on persons taking permit classes/purchasing firearms.
Thank GOD I live in NH. Wet to the PD grabbed the application filled it out, turned it in with my check. Following week had my permit. Took classes on my own and practice when I can. 11 miles from my home a woman was brutally murdered by a bunch of teenage punks. LIVE FREE OR DIE
I'm not sure how I feel about this...I really do feel like there should be some training and testing. I mean, if all you do is go get an application and are granted a permit without any proof of your ability any idiot could just go get a handgun permit. AND I am in no way, shape or form implying you don't know how to handle a handgun (kudos for following up with classes on your own)...just saying that there are some people who could and probably would get their handgun permit just because they can and they think it's cool.
Well you do have to pass a background check. But here hunting is a way of life and that trade is passed down generation to generation. Fathers teach their sons and daughters. Here in NH we have a very low crime rate, so there arent too many idiots with guns. In Washington DC where guns are banned, there are more gun related crimes and deaths than anywhere else in the country.
I guess i am talking more about hand guns. Hunting is a way of life in Canada too. My husband ownes several guns for hunting. It's just culture shock, I guess. Getting a permit for a hand gun in Canada is pretty involved. We aren't even really allowed to defend ourselves. There was a restaurant owner in Toronto who threw hot pepper flakes into the face of an intruder and he is being charged for assault............seriously.
Not allowed to defend yourself? An attacker breaks into my home and threatens me or my children, you better believe your sweet cheeks I am defending myself. That is my right as a human being. Hell if you walk into a bears den he isnt going to call the cops he is going to tear you apart. I believe God gave me my children with the understanding that I would love and care for them. And by caring for them it is my DUTY to protect them from all harmful things. EX- traffic, falling off high places, bad people, etc. And by the way hunting guns can be used for protection too. The laws are very messed up if they are charging a man for protecting himself.0 -
For everyone who said "what did you do to him" I hope you never have to deal with anything like this.
To the woman who thinks I am faking it because I have a big backyard and live in a bad neighborhood. Seriously? Only small backyards are allowed to live in terrible neighborhoods?
I am unemployed and I live with family. I don't need to justify my living situation to you. If you do not believe me thats fine. Just keep your rude comments to yourself.0 -
Seriously can not believe that guns are just an everyday thing in america...it's scary!! :noway:
I thought the same thing. It's sounds so weird. And please, I"m not insulting Americans. But a Canadian wouldn't even have that option. We couldn't even buy pepper spray. The best we could do is go to an outdoors/camping store and buy some bear spray.
Well thats how we became Americans now isnt it. We are our own militia. I can not imagine waiting for a police officer to arrive to protect me. The crime would be over and done with by the time they show up. Where I live we have one cop and he goes home at 10pm. The coyotes and bears get too close to my house, saying shoo wont make them go away. I need protection. There are parts of America where guns are not allowed, but I live in NH and our motto is Live Free or Die! God Bless.
I agree with the last comment. America is based on individual rights and the freedom to bear arms to protect ourselves. That is what makes us American. I once called the police and it took them 45 minutes to get to my house. So I bought a gun. If the police can't protect me, then I will protect myself. To me, it is taking responsibility for protecting oneself.
Many women deal with physical and verbal abuse in this country. As a nurse, I see the results of that abuse - rape, beatings, etc. Women need to realize that they are the weaker sex as far as strength. They also need to realize that they are worth something and do not need to put up with this crap. The police not filing the report is like the good ole boys letting the pervert get away with abusing a woman. They probably got a good laugh from it for an hour or two. "Yeah, stupid ..... can't even deal with someone calling her names." "Yeah, she probably did something to bring it on."
You know, I was a paramedic for several years and it really irked me when I would be called to a domestic and the police would ask the woman what she did to cause her spouse/boyfriend/whatever to slap her around. The truth is that the woman probably did nothing more than serve dinner two minutes late or maybe put the gravy on the potatoes and he didn't like that. Men who abuse do so because they can get away with it, because the woman won't report it or the police won't file a complaint and arrest the abuser. The woman most likely did nothing wrong. To the OP, you did nothing wrong. You need to call the police and make them file a report. Chances are, this guy will eventually harm someone - maybe a woman or a child. If a trail of abusive behavior is established, there is a better chance the guy will get the help he needs or be put in jail.
APPLAUSE..... my hats off to you!
DITTO!!
LOCK N LOAD! 0 -
Awesome! Love that name! Babes and bullets, those girls are after my own heart! 0
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For everyone who said "what did you do to him" I hope you never have to deal with anything like this.
To the woman who thinks I am faking it because I have a big backyard and live in a bad neighborhood. Seriously? Only small backyards are allowed to live in terrible neighborhoods?
I am unemployed and I live with family. I don't need to justify my living situation to you. If you do not believe me thats fine. Just keep your rude comments to yourself.
GET EM!! Glad I did not read those comments. Glad you are safe. Maybe I need to send you a shotgun for christmas! 0 -
CHL classes offer that kind of training.
Not really. Most of the class in my husband's CHL class could barely hit the target at the qualifying range.
To the OP. Getting in his face would be a bad idea, it will only make things worse. People say stupid things they don't really mean. I'd say be careful, leave lights on around the outside of your house, and watch your dog closely, but I wouldn't recommend buying a gun.
I took the course in Texas which offered the true street smarts course! LOL. God bless Texas!0 -
1. Take your shotgun
2. Point it in his face
3. If he advances or threatens you again, pull the trigger
YOUR AWESOME! 0 -
^^^^^^^^^You're only 28. Where are the men in your life? Dad? Big Brother? Male friends?
I have 3 daughters. One of them is your age. They would have come to me with this issue and I would have taken care of it.
Reach out to someone.
THIS
Road Dog might be an older rooster, but I bet he can scrap.
Some little ladies don't have any big strong men in their lives to help, that's just a fact . From the age of 18 up until I got married at 33, I lived without any men in my life: step dad dead, real father, who knows, brother out of state, pansy *kitten* male friends that couldn't take care of themselves, let alone be bothered to help me, even if I wanted their help. No one that was willing to even help me lift a piece of heavy furniture, let alone stand in for me if I needed protection and, I hate to break it to you, there are a lot more single women around and about now that ever before that are independent and live the same way. My roommate and I were home when a guy began breaking into our house and we managed to shimmy out the window in time, just as the cops got there to capture him. For the remainder of our time in that apartment we had doors barred every night, mace at every window and a borrowed gun (both of us trained) just in case. Not everyone has the ideal situation, or ideal to your standards.
Look around you, I'm sure you know of at least a few women that are on their own without help (single, widowed, divorced). Are you going to help them? Do they want help?
Totally agree. Thank you for saying it more eloquently than I could. Which was going to be along the lines of not all of us wimmins has a big strong man to protect us.
UGH!0 -
Seriously can not believe that guns are just an everyday thing in america...it's scary!! :noway:
In America, We are allowed to protect ourselves and our property.0 -
Wow, this is horrible. I hope you're ok right now. I wouldn't have the first idea of what to do. In England, having a gun is pretty much unheard of unless you are a police officer. There are some crazy buggers about eh
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I would tell all your friends and family so they are aware of the situation. Keep your cell with you at all times. If you can, buy some pepper spray or a stun gun. You can buy either one of those on Amazon for about $10 - $20.
I would also look into learning some basic self defense. If you can't afford classes, study it up online. It's not much, but better than nothing.
This would also be a good time to keep working out/exercising. The stronger and faster you are, the better.
If he threatens you again, don't back down, you need to be strong. Don't be the prey, here.
I would go back to the police as well, and see if you can talk to someone else. Someone who will take you seriously.
So sorry you are experiencing this, this kind of crap makes me so mad. >:(0
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