Anyone else feel alone on MFP?

SlimPossible8
SlimPossible8 Posts: 71 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok so i joined MFP to get support and support others in their weight loss/fitness goals. My problem? I hardly ever get any support! I post my workouts, what im eating, when im having a good/bad day...all that jaz. Only one or two people will post back to me ever. I mean i dont want a bunch of people who could care less to be posting back "good job" every time. But a little support would be nice. Down my whole page my posts are the only ones that go without comment. Every other friend is getting their support why not me? :frown:

I honestly feel like i could post i sat on my a** all week and ate nothing but McDonalds and no one would even notice. Very unmotivating. Sorry for complaining, I just wanted to see if anyone else was haiving this issue.
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Replies

  • imaspaceguy90
    imaspaceguy90 Posts: 8
    Hi there. I am fairly new to this board, but have noticed that alot of members know each other and are seasoned veterans here. I think it just takes time , you will meet a close knit of friends who are always there to support you. I know sometimes the only person you can rely on for support is yourself, because you are the only person who can make the necessary lifestyle change. Its a pleasure to meet you and i hope you success with your new lifestyle. Zach
  • deadbeatsummer
    deadbeatsummer Posts: 537 Member
    Hey there you have to be active with others and write to them so that they recognise you and want to comment on your stuff. Also posting in the boards helps and adding others.
  • rachael52
    rachael52 Posts: 87 Member
    Hi, I'm fairly new here and I think the issue is that there are so many posts coming up -- a new one something like every two seconds in each of the categories, that it's hard to comment much, especially if one is working full time and doesn't want to spent hours on this site. I'm trying to use MFP in moderation -- mostly for keeping track of my calories, but briefly getting a taste of Community every day, and answering one or two people. So, you are the one I'm answering today. Keep it up! Stay doing what you are doing, it looks as if things are going well for you. I hope you are feeling healthier and better. It's great to get support from people in your "real life" as well.

    We're all going to feel better as we get in better shape, and for me, that means looking forward to better years as I age (I'm 60 now). Try not to get discouraged.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    You've been here for over a year, but you don't have many posts and only 10 friends - it's tough to get a lot of feedback with only 10 friends...also...how much feedback to you give your friends?

    My advice - get a lot more friends! But also know that you'll basically have to "give" in order to "receive".
  • bright_and_shiny
    bright_and_shiny Posts: 67
    Add me! I really like it when people comment on my statuses, so I'm always sure to comment on my friends' as well! :)
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    i'm sorry you feel that way. and while i normally say "quality over quantity," you only have 8 forum posts and 10 friends, three of whom haven't logged on in a while.

    get on the forums, post your thoughts in peoples threads. friend request people that you share similar views with or you think will inspire you.
  • Dethea
    Dethea Posts: 247 Member
    One thing I've noticed, is if you want people to pay attention to your posts, you need to comment on theirs also. Are you being supportive to your friends?
  • mlkleve
    mlkleve Posts: 9 Member
    I have the same issue. People I friended on MFP weren't responding even though I was acknowledging their progress. My husband seems to get a lot of support on here. I deleted people and will try starting over. :)
  • ryno0618
    ryno0618 Posts: 361
    I have been with MFP for a year plus a couple months. I've found that what I give is a direct result of what I receive. I've gone through periods of being highly active in the forums and my news feed and commenting all day on friends posts, and then I've gone through periods where I simply just logged my own stuff. It takes time to make good friends and it takes effort beyond just posting "good job" on friends status. I am sure there are a a lot of people on here with similar goals and interests as you and that you can mutually support. Best of luck! and feel free to add me!
  • LaunaDypolt
    LaunaDypolt Posts: 2
    I know how you feel, my husband and I were on it for a while, now im back.... and we dont really say 'good job" but we should. do you have another friend that is doing this with you? if not, maybe we can help each other out!
  • SlimPossible8
    SlimPossible8 Posts: 71 Member
    thanks everyone. Mostly my friend right now on MFP are in my "real life" i think that is what makes it even more frustrating. I post on them tell them to keep it up and motivate when needed if they are not logging that sort of thing. So im just frustrated that the people i am closest to and have made such good progress dont even pay attention to someone who is working as hard as them. I appreciate all the support!
  • MSimm62385
    MSimm62385 Posts: 227
    I feel anything but alone. I am very fortunate to have a sister (who got me to join this site), father, and 3-4 friends I know and love who are also trying to get in shape through this site, in addition to friendly random others who friend requested me for mutual support. =D
  • cbu23
    cbu23 Posts: 280 Member
    My only suggestion would be to get some more friends. It's hard since you only have 10. I know it took me a while to get some friends on here and to really get into commenting and everything. You can add me if you'd like. I will tell you I'm in the middle of a tough summer semester and have been pretty scarce, but I will be back in full force at the end of the month!
  • mispotatohead
    mispotatohead Posts: 42 Member
    I selected my friends on here carefully and I keep my group very small. I chose ladies that had similar goals and that were close to my age. I figured this would help me the most as we had something in common to begin with. By doing this I ended up with a great support system. I only hope I give back 1/2 as much as I get from them. Maybe if you search for people that are similar to yourself you'll do better. Good luck!
  • mruntidy
    mruntidy Posts: 1,015 Member
    I have been with MFP for a year plus a couple months. I've found that what I give is a direct result of what I receive. I've gone through periods of being highly active in the forums and my news feed and commenting all day on friends posts, and then I've gone through periods where I simply just logged my own stuff. It takes time to make good friends and it takes effort beyond just posting "good job" on friends status. I am sure there are a a lot of people on here with similar goals and interests as you and that you can mutually support. Best of luck! and feel free to add me!

    I agree, sometimes I am quiet and reflective sometimes I am loud and brassy along with my mood. Put yourself out there and see what comes back if not cut the wheat from the chaff on your friends list if you're purely looking for support too. I'm willing to bet maybe some of the people on your friends list feel the same too - i've posted in my thread things like 'what do you think i should do differently this week' or 'suggest me some meal ideas' might not work but it might get more input than you bargained for.

    Biggest thing, don't let it affect your workouts or your motivation to achieve your goal, friends and support are great but it's you that will sweat out that goal. :smile:
  • Curvimami
    Curvimami Posts: 1,851 Member
    i'm sorry you feel that way. and while i normally say "quality over quantity," you only have 8 forum posts and 10 friends, three of whom haven't logged on in a while.

    get on the forums, post your thoughts in peoples threads. friend request people that you share similar views with or you think will inspire you.

    This is great advice. You definitely need to be more active and get a few more ppl in your "friends" list. And eventually you can weed out any "bad seeds" (if you will). Meaning once you get a good amount of "friends" the ones who are the most active on MFP and interact with you the most and help you feel and stay motivated/inspired are the ones you keep. Its kind of hard keeping up with 100 friends. But if 20 of them are keeping you motivated. Those are the ones you focus your energy on and you can "delete" the rest or just pay no mind to the extra "weight" (pardon the pun). Good luck on your journey. I wish you continued success :happy:
  • Laurie1267
    Laurie1267 Posts: 169 Member
    I have a great support system on MFP and I'm thankful for each and every one of them. I love to comment and motivate them as much as I love when "some" of them comment on my posts. Please reach out to members and know that you'll end up with a close but very support system.

    I'll send you a friend request . . . I'll be there for you :flowerforyou:
  • SlimPossible8
    SlimPossible8 Posts: 71 Member
    i'm sorry you feel that way. and while i normally say "quality over quantity," you only have 8 forum posts and 10 friends, three of whom haven't logged on in a while.

    get on the forums, post your thoughts in peoples threads. friend request people that you share similar views with or you think will inspire you.

    This is great advice. You definitely need to be more active and get a few more ppl in your "friends" list. And eventually you can weed out any "bad seeds" (if you will). Meaning once you get a good amount of "friends" the ones who are the most active on MFP and interact with you the most and help you feel and stay motivated/inspired are the ones you keep. Its kind of hard keeping up with 100 friends. But if 20 of them are keeping you motivated. Those are the ones you focus your energy on and you can "delete" the rest or just pay no mind to the extra "weight" (pardon the pun). Good luck on your journey. I wish you continued success :happy:

    this is great. I feel bad for deleting people sometimes but if they are not motiviating or not even loggin in....lol maybe its ok to delete them. Thanks a bunch guys i feel a lot better than i did a few hours ago. I will not let it effect my workouts i refuse to do that.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    You get out of it what you put into it, just like exercise. Are your posts interesting, thought provoking, funny, sympathetic... or are they just a string of personal stats, such as diary/workouts completed? Are you talking about what all of this is changing about you, what you need help with, where you are seeing progress? Are you spending time on other people's posts and statuses, talking to them about what is happening in their own personal missions and goals? Have you glanced at how often your friends check in, how many friends they have and what kind of activity they put into the site?

    If all you do is post 'good job' and your completed diary, for the viewing pleasure of a handful of barely active friends... then all you're going to get back is an occasional good job, IF that friend happens to be online when you post it.

    You want more friends and feedback and conversation? Youre going to have to be a friend to more people, give more feedback and get involved in more conversations.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Hey there you have to be active with others and write to them so that they recognise you and want to comment on your stuff. Also posting in the boards helps and adding others.
    ALL THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    It takes time to build up your friends wall. Find people who you like and agree with on the forums and send them friend requests - include a message because a lot of folks automatically decline random anonymous requests. Give it a little time and you'll build up a nice solid friend base, that's where all your support will come from - not the forums.
  • Briski1411
    Briski1411 Posts: 296 Member
    Hey there you have to be active with others and write to them so that they recognise you and want to comment on your stuff. Also posting in the boards helps and adding others.

    ^^^this^^^

    It takes time. Add me I'll give you support as long as you give me support
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
    When all else fails I always have the voices in my head......they will NEVER leave me. Kind of like the MFP friends I keep locked in my basement. Yeah you just THOUGHT that person deactivated.

    btw I am looking for new friends!
  • jedibunny
    jedibunny Posts: 321
    Speak, make friends you communicate well with, find people who'll motivate but also be honest with you - or maybe, motivate BY being honest with you - and most importantly, get rid of those who don't. If you find that someone on your FL is really counterproductive, wave goodbye. If you find that someone on your FL is awesome, friend their friends. lol <3

    EDIT: on the "real life" friends, some will be active and many won't. My sister and mother joined, and haven't used the site since, regardless of how I push. You just need to find people who really want to be here, and most of them... are here.
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 413 Member
    You can add me if you want, I'm in the same boat, just a few friends, mostly in my "real life". Thanks for posting this, good advice from everyone. My main problem is I feel like ~ who am I that anyone would want to hear from?? Guess I need to be a little more extraverted...another something to work on :smile:
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    When all else fails I always have the voices in my head......they will NEVER leave me. Kind of like the MFP friends I keep locked in my basement. Yeah you just THOUGHT that person deactivated.

    btw I am looking for new friends!

    Abs, I so enjoyed that 5 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 18 hours and 47 minutes I spent in your basement. When I finally escaped, I was almost disappointed. I have started being a whole lot less careful lately, and I think its a subconscious efffort to get you to kidnap me again.......That thing you used to do with the braided rope and the axe handle was exquisite.....
  • RejoicingL
    RejoicingL Posts: 95 Member
    One thing I've noticed, is if you want people to pay attention to your posts, you need to comment on theirs also. Are you being supportive to your friends?

    This, you want a good friend you gotta be one. Maybe join some groups, find some people in the same weight range with the same goals, and reach out. Just asking for more support, and you might get it ;)
  • spikefoot
    spikefoot Posts: 419
    For the first half I had no friends, I didn't care about it. I then got to the point where I needed some encouragement and "introduced myself" I got a lot of great friends and I enjoy having them around.

    Here is what I suggest, you don't need to do them all but try this:

    1. Change your profile picture to one of yourself. It makes you look more human.

    2. Introduce yourself on the introduce yourself section and ask what you are looking for. If you don't get a ton of responses then try again in a few days or whatever.

    3. Participate on the forums a little. Ignore the arguments and stuff.... I have met some super cool people who have simple just added me cause of something I said in a post and they thought it was funny.

    4. Become active with the friends you have and if there is one you like a lot consider adding some of their friends cause they will probably be of the same attitude.

    5. Push yourself really hard, people like a motivated friend

    6. Be honest with what you are eating and doing, if you are posting crazy calorie burns and stuff like that it just starts to get tiring...

    7. Be happy and positive. Weight loss is such a mental battle. People want to hear things that inspire them. Although sometimes just being candid and real can go a long way too.

    I have belonged to many sites and this is the first one that I have actually become involved in peoples lives. Which is ironic cause I am very knowledgeable on the other sites...go figure
  • Kimik0123
    Kimik0123 Posts: 52
    I have felt this too. :/
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
    When all else fails I always have the voices in my head......they will NEVER leave me. Kind of like the MFP friends I keep locked in my basement. Yeah you just THOUGHT that person deactivated.

    btw I am looking for new friends!

    Abs, I so enjoyed that 5 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 18 hours and 47 minutes I spent in your basement. When I finally escaped, I was almost disappointed. I have started being a whole lot less careful lately, and I think its a subconscious efffort to get you to kidnap me again.......That thing you used to do with the braided rope and the axe handle was exquisite.....

    No you left me and took all my twister matts!:angry:

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